A Wandering Mind [Training]

[Rosa Gunn]

Rosa's mind snapped back from the technician and she opened her eyes at Darron's question. She had hoped to avoid this for a little longer, but it was clear hat she would not be able to progress without it. "He was assassinated, along with my mother, because of a decision I made to resolve a conflict." Emotions flashed rapidly through Rosa, sorrow, regret and anger. The last seemed to burn her and she pushed it away rapidly. "The security force on Kuat said it was one of the most horrific murder scenes they had come across and it is not something I am particularly good at talking about."

It took her a few moments to gather herself again before she could open herself up to the force and focus on the orbs, but try as she might she could not focus, the holo images of the murder scene kept flashing through her mind. "How do you do it?" she asked him "How do you move that pain aside? I can't focus on them now, I need to get it out of my head again."

 

[Jacen Cavill]

He winced a little at hearing about how one of his dear friends had died, it was rough losing a family member. Yet to lose both parents and it be your decision, that was some hellacious guilt. Flashes of memories from long ago flicked across his minds eye, he saw all those he had failed and the fates they had met. "Honestly, you never do. The pain becomes a part of you. In my experience it took me years to get over my parent's deaths." Darron paused before making eye contact. "My older brother had ran away and became enthralled with the darkside of the Force, he came home when I was just 14 and killed my parents right before me. It was my failure that day that led to their deaths, and I handled it poorly when given the chance for revenge."

His face grew cold as he continued. "Know that those who passed because of your decisions loved you regardless, and that revenge is not the path. Learn from your mistakes, see them objectively, don't let them rule you. If you do you will never ever progress in life or with the Force. That anger you feel is human, there is nothing wrong with it. It stems from the pain of loss though, you must understand they are in a better place. Learn from your mistakes and use it to your advantage...be a better Rosa for it."

He smiled as he once more looked down at the orbs, implying she try again. "Now please, inhale all your pain and sadness, and exhale acceptance. Be the Jedi you were always meant to be."

 

[Rosa Gunn]

Even if she wanted to, Rosa could never take vengeance on her parents for the killers were never found, and she could never pinpoint who gave the order. She had given up on revenge a long time ago. To know that the pain would never leave her was a depressing thought but she drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes as Darron spoke and while she understood his words, a small pulse of irritation spiked from her. "My decision was not a mistake." she told him, perhaps a little more coldly than she had intended to.

Opening her eyes she shook her head. "Sorry." she apologised and drew in a deep breath as he had instructed her and drew in her pain, though it took several breaths before she found her calm centre again and was able to exhale acceptance. Openeing her eyes she opened herself up to the force and allowed it to flow through her, she could feel it in each breath she took, in every muscle that moved.

Focusing on the orbs before her she pictured them rising and spinning the way Darron had made them, and she was so surprised when one rose that she lost all concentration and it dropped back into Darron's hand.

 

[Jacen Cavill]

"Well then if it was not a mistake, why hold on to your guilt? You obviously made a choice and the consequence was the death of your parents. It was obviously a calculated choice, you must have had to save many lives to do what you did."

Darron watched her progress, it was a start. Not exactly what he had wanted but he could see progress was being made. She's definitely an empathy, telekinetics will not be a fun subject for her but it will be necessary. "Try it again, and this time don't try so hard. Sometimes we can get so caught up in what we are doing that we literally focus our way out of being able to accomplish what is really a simple task with the Force." The Jedi Master instead took off the glove that covered the durasteel and gold prosthetic that was his right hand and made sure that it caught her eye.

"Try this, focus on your job at hand but make sure to have something else occupying your attention. Ask me questions, get to know me. Keep the focus off the orbs but still keep the task in the back of your mind, less stress should help alleviate the block you're experiencing."

 

[Rosa Gunn]

Darron's prosthetic hand did exactly what he wanted it to and instantly piqued her interest. Keeping the orbs at the back f her mind as instructed, she reached out for his hand. "May I?"

It was surprisingly beautiful for a prosthetic hand. Most people opted to have those that had a layer of prosthetic skin to hide that fact it was a false hand. She had come across one or tow of them in her time but none like this. "I always wondered if you could actually feel anything with these. How did you loose it?"

 

[Jacen Cavill]

"Yes, I can feel textures, heat and cold. There is no pain but I have special awareness with it, and it's grip is as sure as my other hands." The Jedi Master rolled up his sleeve to his elbow where the prosthetic joined into his elbow, the burn scar barely visible above the device. "I was defending my best friend, Rolf Sergeo from a Sith Lord named Darth Radec. We were on a simple scouting mission for the Order, trying to asses why a region was destabilizing when we were ambushed and the man was going to make me watch him kill my best friend after he disarmed me and stabbed me in my shoulder." Darron pointed to his opposite shoulder so she could have a visual reference point.

"I lunged and protected Rolf, but I lost my arm trying to reach out and keep him from getting struck by the blade. The Sith turned out to be my older brother, the recovery was the hardest part." He simply extended his arm and let her look at the device he had modified. "The kaminoans modified it for me after I was released from my carbonite prison, turns out the freezing process fries electronics..."

His words hung in the air as he realized he had said too much.

 

[Rosa Gunn]

Rosa turned the prosthetic in her hand running her fingers to where it met his elbow. "I always found prosthetics amazing." she said softly. "How we survived without them billions of years ago, I dread to think. People forget to appreciate them." With the orbs still in the back of her mind, she picked up on Darron's sudden halt in his story, and released his hand.

"Kamino, huh?" she said, but did not press that matter further. He would tell her when he was ready to. "Did your friend survive?" she asked, almost dreading the answer. The orbs slowly began to rise and she did her best to focus on Darron instead of them, amazed at how simple yet bizarre it seemed to have her focus completely split between maintaining conversation, all the while she could feel the force flow through her.

 

[Jacen Cavill]

He could sense the worry in her voice, so he didn't let the story linger long. "Yes, Rolf survived that day. My reward for drawing my older brother's attention from Rolf was me getting tortured with Force Lightning for over an hour. Thankfully we were rescued by some other Jedi and me and Rolf went on to become quite the formidable 1-2 punch." Darron couldn't help but smile at remembering his old friend. I don't know where you are brother or what happened to you, but know that I miss you dearly.

The Jedi Master involuntarily stroked the lightsaber hilt that was on the right side of his belt, Rolf had given him his lightsaber years ago as a sign of their friendship and the Jedi Master still carried it to this day. Darron stood to his feet and momentarily stretched as he watched Rosa progress with the levitation. It seemed she was quite able with her powers as long as she didn't actively focus and try so hard to please him. The smile stayed on his face as he walked over to a table at the far end of the training room and motioned for her to follow him.

"Rosa, bring those orbs too and I want you to use the Force to do so. Once you get over here, place them back in their box and we shall progress with your telekentics."

 

[Rosa Gunn]

Rosa couldn't help but smile when Darron spoke of his friend, but she had to keep her sadness for him under wraps. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be frozen away from all those that you had loved only to wake up and find them all gone or changed. She itched to ask him more about what happened, about his friends and what it was like to come back after so long, but today was not that day, so instead she simply said "I'm glad he survived."

Rising from her mat she turned her attention to the orbs, finding them easier to move now that she had felt what was needed in the force, a subtle push, no over thinking. She followed Darron, keeping the orbs in front of her making them roll slowly over one another before lowering them into the chest. A proud smile appearing on her face when she had done it.

 

[Jacen Cavill]

"Good Rosa! You did wonderfully on that. Now on to something a little different. This will be a two-fold demonstration for you."

The Jedi Master closed the chest before him and walked about ten steps in front his Padawan and momentarily caught himself lost in her gaze. All the years away from civilization and people had made these rare interactions that much sweeter for him. Remember Wraith, you knew her father and I doubt he would appreciate you staring like a fool. Darron mentally kicked himself for a moment before smiling at Rosa. He motioned to his belt then spoke. "I want you to reach out, wrap your senses around my lightsaber hilts one at a time and pull them to you and catch them."

He paused for a moment as he showed her with his hands where the activation switches where at on them. "Now after that, I want you to extend your empathy and see if you can read the memories from the objects. One of these hilts was my father's his name was Daniel Wraith. The other was my friend Rolf Sergeo, he was like my brother. There are many memories attached to each, and I want to see if you empathy extends to objects Rosa. Also, should you want to, you may activate them."

 

[Rosa Gunn]

There was something in Darron's eyes that made Rosa's heart skip a beat and she dropped her eyes forcing whatever it was that had just passed between them to one side. Focus was needed now, she looked back at him when he spoke, her eyes glittering with delight at another challenge.

Turning her palms towards the saber at Darron's side she reached out towards them with the force. She could feel Darron more than individual objects and it took her a moment or two to separate him from the sabers. As he had shown her before she imagined them moving to her hands. They twitched at Darron's sides and she closed her eyes thinking of her father to take part of her mind elsewhere before opening her eyes in time to catch the sabers, with a look of surprise.

Without speaking she opened her empathy once more extending it first to Daneil's saber. It was harder to read memories than it was to read people. People were her and now, memories were embedded deep. At first things came in small flashes, brief suggestions of emotions, shadows on a wall, yet the more she pushed the cleare they became. Shadows became fully formed faces, but still the images were fast, a padawan young and determined, softly spoken, not a fighter, but with all the potential to become one. A beautiful woman, a great love, a child.
Rosa was lost in the memories now as they flowed past her, like a holovid on fast forward, she watched Darron grow, from a small boy, to a Jedi. So many fights, battles she tried to flinch from but found herself so caught up in the memory that she couldn't, not until there was a strike that the blade didn't block and a younger Darron in despair. she snapped her eyes open and looked at Darron with sad eyes, trembling slighty trying to find words but unable to from them, instead she shook her head and tok a deep breath before reaching for Rolf's saber, unwilling to give up.

She found Darron faster this time in the memories, she felt the love between the friends. A bond never to be broken, only in death. She had watched Darron grow before but this was different, another perspective. Through the father she saw a son that needed protecting, through Rolf she saw the brother that always protected. She watched the lightening driver into them, she watched him lose his arm and then she watched him grow again. No longer slender but more like the warrior he was today. A face came to her, similar to Darrons but shrouded in darkness.

A brother. The fight was intense, raw emotions rattled Rosa to her very core and it was only through the snap hiss noise of the saber activating in her hands as the look of surprise erupted on Darron's brothers face as the killing blow struck him, that she found herself looking at Darron with a tear streaked face. "I...I...never..." she closed her eyes and shook her head.

 

[Jacen Cavill]

The exercise was meant to be a fun one for her to experiment with her powers, test her boundaries. The Jedi Master himself had no power from reading objects, merely people and he was no savant at that particular skill. He could see situations for what they where and prioritize and direct them as needed. It was part of his battle training and it was something that he had acquired from years of practice and honing the ability. So it was with shock that he saw his padawan begin to tear up, and not only tear up become quite emotional distraught. Confusion crossed his face until he realized that he hadn't handed her two blades that had never seen action.

Oh god, she's reading all the way back to when I was a child. Shock crossed his face as he suddenly remembered what he had done with Rolf's blade, and what all Rolf's blade had borne witness to. Oh no what have I done?

Rolf's sky-blue blade ignited and Darron made his way slowly to Rosa's side. He reached over the the hilt and took it gently from her hands and allowed it to deactivate. The Jedi Master didn't even bother clip the hilt to his belt as he instead reached for his hurting padawan and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. The hell with rules and what the Jedi say I can do, she's hurting. His prosthetic ran through her hair as he gently patted her back to let her know it would be ok, Force knows what she just saw. All the death that those two weapons have been around.

"Rosa...are you okay? What all did you see? Tell me?" The Jedi Master failed to notice Rosa's hand was on the bare skin of his arm.

 

[Rosa Gunn]

What did she see? She buried her face into Darron's chest trying to hide from what she had seen, but he wanted her to recall it. She couldn't speak for a moment and when she moved to tell him her hand found the bare skin of his arm. "Your brother." she breathed, but before she could say more she was bombarded with memories again, her connection with Darron's skin brining a fresh wave, another perspective.

A broken woman, a woman he loved with all his heart, the mother of his child and an unbearable pain as she drover the dagger into her own chest. Wave upon wave of darkness, of hate and fury that fell upon him in the form of sith only to fall and die. A darkness burning in the pit of his heart barely kept at bay, barely controlled. Chains, agony at the mercy of a whip, a demon rising within.

"Darron..." she breathed as she realised she could not draw away from this, it was sucking her in, coiling round her chest and her mind like a rope. A child, as beautiful as his father, determined to be just like him a life snatched way before his very eyes, before her eyes. Every pain her had ever known ripped through her soul making her own seem like an insignificance. Two decades of silence, of nothing but thoughts, unable to move, unable to be. Just there, lost in all the pain unable to know who, what or where.

As it bore down on her, Rosa's knees gave way and a scream erupted from her lips filled not with her despair, but with his. It tore through the force and across the temple itself touching every soul inside the building. Her hand slipped from his skin, severing the bond and pulling her rapidly from the memories, though they were there and she knew she would never forget them.

She scrambled back from him a hand over her mouth as she shook uncontrollably, great sobs racking her chest. Pulling her knees up she hugged them and buried her face and tried so hard to regain control of herself. She didn't want him to see this, she didn't want him to see more pain. He had already seen to much. Slowly but surely she calmed her sobs but she could not stop the pain coming off her in great waves that seemed to crash against the walls around them.

 

[Jacen Cavill]

Through the Force, Darron could feel the transference of memories. What in the hell is causing this? His mind was a blur as everything he had ever experienced played again between the two, guess she is quite the empath. As her knees buckled, the Jedi Master was being destroyed again by all of his experiences. Yet he simply breathed his pain in, and exhaled acceptance and allowed the Force to flow into him to ebb his pain and fill the void in him. The pain in her face was quite palatable and he hated seeing her so distraught from something that was supposed to be a fun lesson in reading objects. Instead, guilt rocked him as he realized that she had just experienced every moment of his entire life. "I'm so sorry," was all he could manage as he rubbed her back whiled Rosa sat there and sobbed.

"Breathe in all the pain you are feeling, and as you exhale tell yourself that it has already happened. There is nothing to be done to change the past, nothing can make it better. Those memories aren't your own, I promise it will get better." A melancholy grin crossed his face as he regarded her before continuing. "Allow yourself to become the empty vessel, and allow the Force to flow into you and I promise you it will get better. I've had some practice in the matter Rosa."

As he rubbed her back while she calmed herself, the Jedi finally clipped Rolf's hilt back to his belt. Moments passed by as he allowed his Padawan to calm herself and find her center. After all this was all his fault, had he been more careful in his assessment of her abilities, their training wouldn't have turned into this mess that he had caused. I know just the thing to ease her mind, as a thought came to his mind. He had felt the ripple in the Force as her mind had screamed out, he knew that pain all too well. She had only just experienced it, he had lived with it all his whole entire life. Remember Wraith, she just saw your entire life in a few moments.

Without hesitation the Jedi Master scooped up Rosa in his arms, and proceeded to leave the training room. His mind reached out and closed the blinds and cut the lights off in the training room as they exited. The only sound between the pair was the sound of his boots echoing off the floor of the temple as they made their way through its halls. No one dared to stop him or question the pair, his face clearly showed he wasn't in the mood for anyone. A few minutes passed as they finally made their way into the youngling training hall. Before the pair was a group of thirty children of different species, none of them over 5 years old, going through their morning calisthenics and meditations.

Darron sat Rosa down on a mat before making his way over towards the younglings instructor. "Apologies Master Dominik, we simply wanted to meditate around your young charges and maybe engage in some training of our own to the side for the rest of the morning if that is okay?" Through the Force, he could feel the amazement and wonder of the children as they each stared at him. "Yes Master Wraith, it's good to see you this morning, you can have access to anything you'd like." He nodded to the older man and walked back over to Rosa, simply sitting next to her and basking in the innocence of the younglings in the Force.

A few more minutes pass before he finally spoke to her. "I promise I won't put you in that kind of position again until you are fully ready, know that was not my intent." Blue eyes watched the children for another moment before he spoke again. "You know it always helped me whenever I lost my way or I lost a friend....or when I lost my son Jason. It helped to be around the younglings, made things much easier for me. Should you want to, we can talk about this or you can join in with them on their exercises."

 

[Rosa Gunn]

His apology was not needed, and she tried to say it but her mouth couldn't seem to convey any of her own thoughts. So instead, she listened to his advice breathing in the pain and exhaling acceptance, but it was not an easy task. Darron had had years between events to deal with them, she had split seconds. Lifting her head she wiped her face dry with still trembling hands.

She knew there was nothing she could do to change it, and it was clear that Darron had long ago accepted it, but it didn't change the fact that she had felt it all in a matter of moments. She looked at him trying to find words to explain, to apologise, but before she could speak he swept her up in his arms. At first she tensed, terrified that if she touched him again she would get pulled in, but when it became clear nothing more was going to happen she relaxed, resting her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, continuing her breathing.

She could feel their innocence before she saw them, and as Darron sat her on the mat she tucked her legs up underneath her and allowed their purity to flow through her. the waves of pain rolling from her stopped almost instantly, as if their mere presence was enough for her to truly bring it under control. Inhaling the pain exhaling acceptance and bathing in the pure life before her, she slipped into a meditative trance for a few moments peace finally settling over her.

Her eyes fluttered open as Darron spoke and realisation dawned on her that he may have just had to watch everything all over again. For a moment or two she didn't answer, not because she was angry with him, but because she was trying to get her thoughts into order before she spoke. "Their purity is very soothing." she said softly before looking at him "I know none of that was your intention Darron, you don't have to apologise. It was a good exercise, even if it did go wrong, it just means that I have to practice more." She was determined to find a positive in this, she was not going to let what happened ruin the rest of their training.

She watched the younglings, a sad smile appearing on her face. "Despite it all Darron, you were lucky to have what you did. Even if it was snatched from you. To have a child, as beautiful as he was and loved you as he did is a gift a some people never get the chance to boast of."

 

[Jacen Cavill]

"Yes, I didn't do many things right, but Jason was one of them." His words were calm and peaceful, even laced with happiness as he remembered his bundle of joy. "He was everything I never could be, and then some. Had he not been murdered he would have gone on to be a far better Jedi and person than I." His face returned to it's normal calm, neutral expression as he watched the children. He allowed their aura's to wash over his own and almost cleanse him of the darkness that was at his deepest core. He had desperately hoped to never talk of his child again, but it seemed Rosa had brought all those issues to the forefront with her considerable talents at empathy.

"You know the pirates made me watch them do it? They killed him with my own lightsaber, had two ysalmari strapped to my chest and I was in chains with my prosthetic ripped off of me. Took ten Dark Jedi and a few squads of commandos to take me down that day, I killed them all until they hit me with a tranquilizer dart." The Jedi Master paused, the memory still stinging. "Then when I awoke, they made me promise him it would be okay and then they impaled him with my own blade and wouldn't let me go to him as he cried for me."

Blue eyes scanned the children as the Jedi found his center and allowed himself to be remade in the Force, where it not for that he'd be a heaping mess of tears. "Soon after they froze me in carbonite, when I awoke I killed them all and had discovered that I had found acceptance after being imprisoned for 20 years, although I did destroy my old hilt. I had no use for a weapon that had killed a child."

Another minute of silence passed, and he stood to his feet. He offered a hand to Rosa and they walked behind the younglings into a private training area still in sight of the children. "I do apologize for what you saw, shall we progress or do you need more time? Coping skills are paramount in the Order and I will help in any way since this is my mess...and I don't hurt those I care for."

 

[Rosa Gunn]

To hear him talk about it, even though she had seen it felt strange but she listened nonetheless. Seeing was one thing, you had to listen to truly understand what had happened. When he had finished she let him have his moment of silence. "I'm sorry you had to see it again." she said softly, he voice barely above a whisper, though she was no longer in pain. She had found her centre of calm. There was nothing she could do to change Darron's past and even if she could did she want to? If she had would the same man be stood before her now?

She took his hand and followed him into the training room. "Stop apologizing." she told him sternly, though she gave a small smile to take the edge of it. "I'm ok, I promise. you would know if I wasn't." it was as she finished speaking that she realised the last words of his sentence and a wry smile appeared on her face. "Did you just say you cared about me?" her tone was somewhat mocking.

 

[Jacen Cavill]

"Well you know, you are my responsibility. I can't have my Padawan experiences terrible memories in the temple. Those are for when you get out in the field and I can see if you took what I teach you to heart." He winked as he continued. "Though when I said care, I meant that in the least flattering way possible. Don't get your hopes up...politician." Sarcasm dripped from his words, and he made sure to put the extra emphasis on the last word to get a rile out of her. Good Darron, get her smiling, help heal what you broke.

"Now, if you're done swooning over me and seeing what made me the mess you see before you. Shall we continue?"

He gestured towards the wall where there was a small landing 15 feet above them. "You, must get up there using the Force." As the words left his mouth, Darron launched himself high and above the landing. He even flipped for good measure and then spun to face her before landing. Now above her, he gestured for her to join him. "Come on Rosa...don't be scared. Use the Force to extend your jump and remember...previsualize."

 

[Rosa Gunn]

"Ex-politician!" she retorted, slightly annoyed that his sarcasm and wound her up. she folded her arms and raised an eyebrow "Swooning? Please, I've seen a hutts backside that's better looking than you are." her words were equally sarcastic, though she could not help but smile as she said them. Unfolding her arms she stepped forward and looked at the landing above them.

"Please tell me your joking." the words had barely left her lips before he jumped and landed smoothly. She shook her head "Of all the masters I get, I had to get a show off." she muttered before calling up to him "I am not scared, just...not a big fan of heights..." Licking her lips nervously she closed her eyes calming herself again and let the force flow through her. A leaf on the wind, she thought to herself before jumping. Time seemed to freeze around her while she was mid-air, a trick of her mind as it reminded her how high she was jumping.

She landed, with no grace or style, but with an unsteady thud followed by a stagger that brought her to one knee. Getting back to her feet she inched to the edge and looked down a wave a nausea washing over her as she did. "Ugh. Heights." she looked at Darron stepping back from the edge "Please tell me this isn't a common thing I'm going to run into."

 

[Jacen Cavill]

"Hutts backside huh? I'll remember that Ms. Rosa." A smile crossed his face as he intently watched her, he could feel her unease through the Force. Yet, once again she answered the call quite marvelously as she jumped up to the ledge he was at. Her landing wasn't perfect, but neither was your's Darron. He could only remember too well as he had struggled with his training at first, the Force hadn't been the easiest thing for him to get in touch with at first, there were so many blocks in the way. Luckily he had had a patient Master who had worked with him on his issues and molded him into the beginnings of what he was now. Oh Master Techu, if you could only see what I was now. Would you be proud or displeased?

"Yes Rosa, unfortunately you will have to get better at these skills. Fifteen feet is nothing if you set your mind to it, just like your telekinetics will have to expand as well. Your empathy is a skill that will grow the more you are in the Force...the more practical powers must be practiced. Now on to the last test before we go and get some food." Darron turned to have his back to the floor below and once more leapt high and above the platform. The Master landed quietly on the marble floor, his boots barely making the faintest of sounds.

"Now get down here and test your speed Ms. Politician." Darron gestured towards a door at the end of the hallway. "You will run past that door, and it should only take three seconds to get there. Should you be too slow I will close the door and you will get a rather nice bruise upon your face for your failed efforts. Now Rosa, push yourself. We Jedi are more than warriors, but you must be skilled in all facets to be Knighted."