Private All The Colors

[Iris Arani]

​

Iris blinked slowly at one of those questions. One that stood out above all else. Her eyes narrowed slightly in thought. "It can, yes. But, no, not a mate bond. I- .. Aren't you a little young to be thinking about that kind of thing? I mean, there's no one you should be making that kind of bond with right now. And certainly not with your master, me or not. That's- .. There's a whole conversation to have about that but I'll answer your other question first."

Oh boy.

The Knight took a breath before plopping down beside Zaiya, leaning back on her hands. "Comforting. Someone you can trust and lean on. My master was the one person in this galaxy I feel I can trust most. Still is, even if I don't really speak with her much. Or.. Anyone. Been a really big recluse. .. Now about this mate bond. Zaiya you're- .. Wait how old are you again?"

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani

It didn't seem like an odd thing to ask for Zaiya; after all, her kind ultimately desired those types of bonds. Seeing Iris narrow her eyes and question why she should think of that, made Zaiya tilt her head to the right with mild confusion, dove grey stripes blooming over her face.

"Why am I too young? " She asked, curious, slightly frowning, "My kind have familial bonds with their parents that are formed at birth, allowing us to feel connected with one another and be as colorful as possible. Only when we find a mate do we form a bond outside of that of our parents, and that one takes over until we can always feel one another." Zaiya explained innocently.

"My parents died when I was nine... so I... I don't have that connection, and... well, I miss it. I felt so lonely and alone without it..." her colors began to fade, muting until her rosy golden skin turned into a silvery dark pewter, and the shimmery, mottled spots over her skin melted into a dark melancholy grey.

"But... my kind are rare. I haven't even met another Lovalla, so the chances of finding a mate are low. However, when Aris taught me about the Force and how I could sense others with it, it got me excited! I felt like then... well, maybe there is a way for the Force to allow me to bond with someone again? I can feel others with the Force now, like when I hold hands with Aris or even now when I can sense others' emotions and thoughts...it's... nice. I like it. I want to feel that again -- so I makes me hopeful that maybe one day, I will." she bit her lower lip, brightening again so that her skin's vibrancy again began to glow and show her excitement. It was easy to see that it meant a lot to the Padawan, perhaps, a bit too much. A desire for connection that could be so easily manipulated if someone with evil or dark intentions took advantage of. At the very least, it wasn't a bond that would so easily be formed, but the desire to have one certainly was there.

Zaiya paused for a bit to soak in how Iris described her bond with her Master felt like -- Comforting, trustful, someone she could lean on. The person one can trust the most.

But.. isn't that how I feel about Aris Noble too? Zaiya mused a bit. Well, at one point, yes. That had been all it originally was. She had been comforted by Aris and knew she could trust him and depend on him. He had told her he would make sure she never felt alone. He was her best friend.

But that wasn't all of it now was it? Even thinking about how she felt around Aris made her flush a bit. The years she spent with him in close proximity had formed something between them, at least for her to feel flustered at his presence. To want to remain close. Enough to where she could sense him when he was close -- but was that because of the Force and her knack at sensing others, or was that more? That was the bit she was uncertain of -- and now they were both trying to see if there was a way to allow Zaiya to bond with him so that it wouldn't hurt her if he was far from her. That was why she had to do her best to keep her mental shields down so she didn't end up wanting... more.

"Oh, I'm sixteen," Zaiya told her, giving a wide smile.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

"Sixteen. Yeah, alright. None of these 'mate bonds'." Iris nodded her head once, though her brow was still furrowed as she tried to sort out what exactly Zaiya knew about what she was suggesting. Given how innocent her responses were, how much she was just wanting a connection she was robbed from with her parent's death? She didn't know at all. Iris reached up to pinch her brow for a moment, trying to sort out what she was going to say next. How in the world was she supposed to talk about this? The Talk™ she was given was just her telling her master she already understood because, well, she did on a scientific and uncaring way.

Iris was ace as ace could be!

"I'm sorry that you lost the bond you had with your parents. I won't be able to replace that, but as master and Padawan there will be a bond. A familiar bond. A mate bond is for someone you would have your children with. You're far too young to be thinking about making a bond like that and having.." She paused. Sighed. "Zaiya do you know how babies are made?"

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with:

Zaiya blinked, tilting her head at Iris in bemused confusion. Her grey mottled spots rippled with a faint golden luminescence, signaling her mix of emotions. She wasn't quite sure how they'd ended up here in this conversation, but she was more than happy to follow along. Too many people seemed to be embarassed about talking about it. She was glad Iris wasn't.

"Haha... well, no, not now," Zaiya said with an awkward laugh, trying to explain.

"My kind don't make bonds that easily. My parents didn't find each other until they were in their fifties, and I wasn't born until they were in their eighties." She shrugged, as if that timeline were the most normal thing in the galaxy. For the Lovalla, it kind of was.

Lovalla were long lived, and by their standards, Zaiya was barely more than a kid.

"It's just... my kind stay bonded with their parents until they find a mate. So, right now I'm kinda... floating? Sort of? I don't know." She gave a small, sheepish laugh, her colors shifting into a swirling mix of contemplative amber and muted grey. "Things are a bit confusing now."

She trailed off, thinking about Aris Noble . It wasn't a full bond -- nothing like the deep, instinctual connection her parents shared -- but she felt... something. She was acutely aware of him, of his presence in the Force, of the way she naturally gravitated toward him. She liked him. Like, liked-liked him. He also said he liked-liked her, and the few times she allowed herself to resonate with him recently... she could feel he felt the same for her. But that didn't mean she was ready for a mate. And they were both being careful. Too careful? Maybe not careful enough? Ugh.

Zaiya shook off the thought, focusing back on Iris. She could tell the older Jedi was genuinely concerned, but why was she so fixated on mates? Still, when Iris suggested that they could form a family bond, something akin to a sibling connection, Zaiya couldn't stop her colors from brightening. Her mottled spots and stripes practically danced, their bioluminescence intensifying with vibrant blues and warm golds. She beamed, the warmth of the suggestion wrapping around her like a cozy blanket.

"That would be great!" she exclaimed, her smile so wide in joy. But then, just as quickly, confusion crept back in.

"Umm...how babies are made?" she repeated, blinking. Her smile faltered for a second as she mulled it over.

"I mean, um... doesn't that depend on the species?" She tilted her head, her tone hovering between sincere curiosity and mild panic as her colors rippled with a nervous swirl of grey and pink.

This conversation had taken a very strange turn.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Wait.

Iris tilted her head for a moment as things started to click together. Then, she plucked out a datapad, scrolling through it rather quickly. After a moment she let out a pretty heavy sigh. There wasn't a whole lot of information out there on Lovalla, but this? She reached up, setting a hand on Zaiya's head as she gently ruffled her hair. Then, came the talk. Iris was incredibly blunt with it, leaving there to be no misunderstandings on what she meant. The biggest point she made, though? How other species usually were. At her age, interest was common place in most humanoid species.

"Teens are dumb, is the short of it. This mate bond you're talking about, there's gonna people who don't understand what that is. Or that it might takes decades for you to feel comfortable with any physical interactions. You need to be careful about that sort of bond. And safe. You're still a teenager. No sex. Don't care if you feel like they're the one and you're going to spend your life with them. You're not an adult yet, and considering there's no information on what would happen if you bonded with a nonLovalla? Caution."

Given that The Talk™ was awkward as ever though, she again ruffled Zaiya's hair. "Just don't be in a rush. I know it might take a while for Lovalla, but for most humanoids they fall hard and fast. And teens really are the worst at that. Emotions change, people change. This parental sibling bond? Domxite and I can fill in for that, give you something to help keep you grounded than floating."

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani

Oh. Oh! OH!

The dawning realization, which Iris explained to her, made Zaiya's face flush in a heat wave. The pale blue and white patterns over her face darkened into a deep coral hue. Her eyes went wide, and her mouth fell open, only for it to snap shut. It was a good thing the older woman had ruffled her hair, sensing that Iris meant well not only out of concern for her but also that she was serious.

"Oh. Umm… well, I wasn't even — like that has never even come up —" Zaiya was obviously flustered, stammering with a bit of a high-pitched voice as she glanced up at Iris.

Sure she admired how beautiful or pretty others appeared, but it wasn't with the sort of thoughts of doing anything like, well, actual mating. Even with Aris, now that she knew she like-liked him, it was more that she wanted to be around him and hold him close. Okay, maybe she was curious about kissing, but it wasn't — nothing more than that! She hasn't even considered that an option at all!

Wait, did that mean Aris Noble was thinking about sex? No wait, he had told her that he didn't want her to get hurt and that they should figure out how to ensure that it would be okay — wait! Did he think that once it was okay to bond with him that perhaps he wanted to do that with —

Now Zaiya's face burned hotter.

"Okay. Yeah. I'm doing my best to be careful… how my bonds work with others do worry me… which is why I'm trying to keep my mental shields up everytime I'm — " well with Aris.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed, her color shifting seemed to spazz a bit, pulsing rapidly between a ombré of colors only to shift again.

The Padawan took a deep breath then let it out with a big exhale, blowing up her colorful bangs away from her forehead as she took it all in. Looking back up at Iris, Zaiya nodded. Now she had more things to overthink about! However, it comforted her that Iris also confirmed the family bond she wanted Iris and Domxite to be willing to fulfill.

"Okay sorry, just a little overwhelmed. I'm glad that you are both there for me though," she told Iris and Domxite, a smile once again appearing over her lips.

What a crazy afternoon!

 

[Iris Arani]

​

"With Aris, huh?"

Iris always had the most unnerving way of knowing the hidden story in what people were trying to avoid saying. It was obvious to her that she was thinking of someone as they talked. She didn't even know the name, it just.. Came to her, as everything else always did when she focused on someone she was talking to. Grant it, she did know the name after hearing herself say it.

The Noble boy.

"I know it hasn't come up for you, Zaiya. But that just means you could get taken advantage of. .. And I don't want to see any more pregnant Padawan's running around." Grant it, the last she knew of was an actual adult, but still. Point remained. She didn't want Padawan's getting pregnant or the like. There was already so many things to figure out. Children were crazy on top of it. Relationships alone were crazy.

"Just remember your kids still, okay? You're supposed to have fun and be happy. If things get complicated, come talk to me, yeah?"

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani

​

"With Aris, huh?"

Zaiya's cheeks flushed with warmth, her golden mottled spots glowing faintly as her emotions played out across her skin. Of course, Aris's name had come up before -- it wasn't like she hadn't talked about him. But now, with the conversation turning in this direction, the heat spreading across her face felt impossible to ignore.

"Well, I mean... he's my best friend, so…" She lifted her hands in a helpless little gesture, her confusion spilling out like a jumbled datapad file.

"I mean, I do like-like him. I like being around him. I want to be close to him, but -- "

"I know it hasn't come up for you, Zaiya. But that just means you could get taken advantage of. .. And I don't want to see any more pregnant Padawan's running around."

The mention of pregnant Padawans sent her spiraling. Her golden glow abruptly dimmed into a muted silver, her face a mix of shock and outright horror. The expression she made -- wide-eyed and slack-jawed -- was so comical and dramatic it could've been plucked straight from a holo -drama.

"Pregnant?!" she squeaked, her voice pitching higher than she intended.

"I -- We -- No!" Her mottled spots pulsed erratically with glowing streaks of silver, betraying her panicked state as her mind raced to make sense of the absurd leap.

"I don't even think I can -- I mean, my kind don't… work that way! I've never even thought of -- " She stumbled over her words, her flustered tone only making her embarrassment more obvious.

Lovalla were already on the brink of extinction, their dwindling numbers a constant reminder of how precarious their future was. It could take decades for a Lovalla couple to conceive, if it happened at all. She'd grown up knowing the odds, knowing how rare children like her were.

"I don't even know if I can ever have one," she blurted out, the admission escaping before she could stop herself. The weight of it settled over her, even as her bioluminescence flickered and dimmed.

Taking a deep breath, Zaiya worked to settle herself. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap, trying to steady the swirling emotions that rippled across her skin. When she finally spoke again, her voice was softer, tinged with vulnerability.

"There's nothing to worry about," she murmured, as much to herself as anyone else. "It's not something that comes to mind. I mean… I've never thought of it. I'm far too young. And Aris -- he's already worried about my bonding. He doesn't want to take things further because he's afraid…"

Her gaze dropped to her hands, her fingers fidgeting as she tried to articulate the complexity of what she felt. "He's afraid if I bond with him, I'll get hurt if he's not near me. That's why… I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling or where this will lead. I just… don't want to lose him."

The confession hung in the air, her emotions swirling in a kaleidoscope of soft hues on her skin. She glanced up briefly, almost apologetic for spilling so much. "That's why I'm keeping my shields up around him. So we don't keep… resonating."

Even as she said it, she wasn't entirely sure what she meant -- or if it was even possible to keep the bond from forming if it was meant to. But she had to try, didn't she? For both their sakes.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Iris blinked before her expression again softened. She reached up again, ruffling Zaiya's hair in an attempt to pull her from the spiral of thoughts she was having. Did Iris have a hand in said spiral? Absolutely. And yet, it answered a lot of questions Iris had about the nature of her relationship with Aris. "I only really liked liked two people in my life, and neither were remotely close to good relationships, but they certainly didn't have that extra layer at all. You're both smart, not to form a bond yet. He's not Lovalla, and from the brief read I just did, spending time apart causes you to dim and eventually die. Another reason why Domxite's with you now, honestly. So you have that bond close to you at all times."

Domxite in turn nodded their head. Iris couldn't always be with Zaiya any more than Iris could. But the little droid had far more freedom. Though, her brow knitted together at that thought process.

"That's a lot of stress, though, for you both. You're both just kids you don't- .. Mmm no that seems kinda par the course for Jedi if I'm honest." Kai Bamarri was her best friend and first ever love. And a Sithspawn that needed to feast on memories to get full and survive, after he'd been pulled from his natural state as a rock. That was certainly more the species barrier than she'd realized when she was much younger.

"Just have fun, Zaiya. Like you said, he's your best friend. If he's worried about hurting you with a bond, tell him about Domxite. They won't let your colors dim out as we figure out everything else. While I figure things out. This isn't a stress you need to take on, okay? Let the adults worry about those kinds of things. You just worry about whether he likes how you tie up your hair or what movie you both like or other simple, kid stuff. Okay?"

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani


Rewrite in the tone of a young adult novel, third person narrative, Star Wars genre, from the perspective of Zaiya, a teenage Jedi Padawan who can change colors over the patterns on her skin depending on her emotions:

Listening to Iris's experience sent a wave of empathy through Zaiya, but she was also grateful that her Master trusted her enough to reveal that part of her history with her. Hearing that neither the two people Iris had been close to had not been in good relationships made Zaiya feel sad, as she knew how important that could be, even if it was a friendship, but it seemed that Iris was able to move past that and not let it affect her. At least, from what Zaiya could see.

It comforted the Padawan to know that Iris and Domxite were here for her now, and she was more than elated to form a bond with them as well. To become family. She didn't know if her Lovalla bonds would come into play too or if it was all through the Force, or perhaps both, but it was something to look forward to and certainly something to relay to Aris. That should make him feel better.

Not to mention, if Iris could help her figure out how her own bonds worked, it would be great. She had reached out to her previous guardian, and Dr. Izak was trying to reach one of the deep space exploration research vessels that he was aware of having one Lovalla pair within their crew, but it would take time before communication reached them. It was just a matter of time.

"You're right. Things will work out one way or another," Zaiya replied quietly, then gave a sheepish expression.

"Sorry.... I tend to overthink things a lot. I'm working on it, but sometimes I keep falling back into it." she explained, her hands giving a slight flustered wave in front of her.

A pause, then she thought aloud.

"Oh, do you think Aris likes my hair up then?" was there a difference in preference with boys? Why would that be the case?

 

[Iris Arani]

​

"It's easy to overthink, especially about people you care about." She'd done it a lot herself over the years. Especially as she learned what it was to even care about people. About thinking in general. It was something they'd figure out together eventually. But like she said earlier, there was no rush. Iris just smiled, patted Zaiya's shoulder again before she stood up.

"Come on. Let's get back to helping the folks here. .. And I dunno I just tie up my hair cause it's in the way I'm not the one to ask for fashion tips."

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani

This was true. If there was someone Zaiya had a tendency to worry and over think about what they might think of her, it was Aris Noble . Exactly for that reason, because she cared about him.

"Right." The Lovalla teenager gave a quick, but firm nod. With Domxite offering comfort and an encouraging push through the Force, Zaiya stood up, holding out her hands so the droid could hop up and then settle on her shoulder again.

"Thank you Domxite... Iris. For caring... and also, just for talking to me. I know I can be a bit silly and ask a lot of questions, but I appreciate it," She added bashfully, biting her lower lip for a bit as a ripple of turquoise brightened her intricate patterns over her face.

"Okay. Let's help out others, "Zaiya agreed, squaring her shoulders. She gave a small laugh at Iris's response, "Well, it does keep your hair away from your face so you don't get too much paint on it."

Not that the paint splatter didnt already fall on her dark hair.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

"People still think I'm silly when I ask questions that have what they think are an obvious answer. But it's not, and it's important to ask questions. Don't feel apologetic for it." She didn't even know what friends meant for the longest time and asked people what it even meant. It got weird looks, but, it was how Iris learned after not really understanding anything for a majority of her youth.

She did pause though, tilting her head.

"No, I usually end up getting paint in my hair. Not sure why." The reason being she just never paid attention to the fact her hands were often covered in still wet paint and she'd fix her hair or rub her chin in thought.

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani

Zaiya giggled again, clasping her hands behind her back as they walked towards the next area.

"I think it is because you don't realize you have paint in your hands when you are brushing your hair away from your face." the teenager pointed out.

"I tend to do that all the time too, when it just gets in my eyes and I push them behind my ear so I can see." she explained.

"Maybe I can make you some sort of cloth you can toss into a portable sonic cleanser... like one attached to a belt. That way it is always clean when you tuck it in there and pull it out." Oh, that was an idea! A ripple of intrigue would pulse in a pretty flush of ambers as she contemplated how to make that work. It shouldn't be hard, right?

It was nice to hear that she didn't have to apologize for everything, but it was still hard to do it.

"So, when you are not training me, what do you do?"

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Iris paused. The realization that it was her who continued to spread the paint over herself, all these years, was bewildering to say the least. Her eyes blinked a few more times before she ended up just nodding to Zaiya in a rather dumbfounded way. Yeah, she'd accept this sonic cloth cleaner, if it meant she didn't have to keep trying to pay attention, all the better. Painting was the time she spent not thinking, not listening, not paying attention.

It'd help a lot.

"Healer's work, mostly. Sometimes spying and investigations if the need arises."

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani

"Wait, what?!"

Zaiya's head snapped around to look up at Iris, her bioluminescent patterns shifting wildly. A shocked swirl of greys and yellows rippled across her skin, melting into a vivid citrine hue that practically glowed with curiosity.

"Spying and investigations?!" she blurted, her voice climbing as her eyes widened in disbelief. This was not what she had expected her Master to reveal, especially since Iris was known for being a healer. It was hard to imagine her sneaking around, doing...whatever spies did.

"Like, what kind of spying? Investigating the Sith? The Dark Empire?" she pressed, her tone now brimming with eager interest. The Lovalla Padawan leaned forward, her mottled spots glowing brighter as if the Force itself fed her curiosity. Images of shadowy figures, secret meetings, and dramatic confrontations played through her mind -- most of them stolen from late night holofilms she probably shouldn't have been watching.

Zaiya studied Iris closely, her head tilting in thought. Iris didn't look like a spy. Then again, weren't spies supposed to blend in? That was probably the whole point.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Oh god she was enthralled with this. Iris blinked, watching Zaiya with an almost nervous smile. With how serious Zaiya usually was, she hadn't expected the girl to actually fan girl over Iris's other work. In a way it was a relief. She was still a kid, and she sill had her moments to be that kid. Even if it took Iris by surprise. "Yeah, no, uh. I can't really talk about what I do specifically, but, I do do those things."

Spying, infiltration. She hadn't carried out assassinations in a long time though. Her expression softened at the thought, the memories. To save more lives, so many more lives, she'd killed quite a few. And that wasn't something she was going to share with Zaiya, maybe ever. That wasn't a burden the bright soul Zaiya had needed to carry. "I got makeup and prosthetics I wear, considering how tell tale my scars are, if I need to do any real infiltration."

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x | Companion: Domxite
Interacting with: Iris Arani

"Oh, right. That makes sense that you can't disclose things... for your safety and everything," Zaiya piped back, a little glum, but she quickly bounced back when Iris mentioned that she uses makeup and prosthetics.

"Whoa! So you are like a Master of Disguises?!" Zaiya gave a skip and jump, moving up quickly a few steps in front of her Master so she could spin on the ball of her foot and start walking faster. Domxite had to clutch in close so he wouldn't fall, but he kept his balance. The entire antic was rather comical and endearing.

Clasping her hands behind her as she walked backward, staring up at Iris, she continued her barrage of questions as she became a walking and talking example of a hologram billboard with how much color and biolumienece she was radiating.

"Oh! So like does that mean you can also change your voice? What was the one disguise that was the most difficult?" and of course, the one that burst through with excitement, "Can you teach me?!"

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Master of disguise?

Iris blinked before she ended up laughing. A real giggle as she reached out to ruffle Zaiya's hair. Maybe pull her back from the clouds of imagination that Zaiya was letting herself go to. It was endearing to hear, really. A master of disguise would be a pretty fun sort of job, if that was the case. "It's not as fancy as you think it is. The fact my eyes are as unique as they are, my scars, missing fingers, all of it, makes it really easy for people to not realize it's Iris, Jedi Knight standing in front of them with say, blue eyes and all ten fingers."

She wasn't good at looking like someone else. She was good at not looking like herself.

"If you can get control over your colors, yeah, that'd be something I could probably teach you. But right now? No. It's not an easy life, and certainly not one for a teenager."

Zaiya Ceti

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Iris Arani

Not as fancy as I thought? While Iris said that, it was still super interesting for Zaiya. "Yeah but... you can do disguises! I can't do that. Not with the way my skin glows -- if I could find a way to disguise that, it would be neat to do cool undercover missions too!"

A pause then another rush of excitement, "Wait will we do any undercover missions?

Now Iris had Zaiya going, mind racing at the possibilities. At least until Iris mentioned that she could teach the Padawan only when she could get control over her colors.

Insert the first pout Iris likely ever saw from her padawan.

"Control my color shifting? But how?! How does one just stop... feeling?" One of the Masters from the Ettiquite class said she had to learn to keep a calm mind and control over herself and it would work -- but really, doing that now seemed so difficult!

It might work better for someone who didn't express what they were feeling as obviously as she did.