Anti-authoritarian Education

[Miss Blonde]

Blonde gave a small little chuckle at Abyss; she truly did love him and how cute he really was. Abyss was still young and this was his first child, so it made sense that he was happy and excited about the whole thing. About how they would have this miracle baby and it would be this super talented Starkiller that might be able to pull star destroyers down from orbit. But that was all lost on Patricia, this was baby number four with daddy number three. A part of felt like she was in this never ending cycle of falling in love and trying to have a family only to have it taken from her, but maybe this time might be different. Maybe this time it could last.

"Ew, Faith. That one Senator Alderaan Princess Organa chick? God I hate that queen, she's so stuck up cause she's a princess." She said with another little chuckle.

"We can keep Kane, though I think there's been a lot less kids named Kane ever since Carnifex came about." Blonde relaxed and a bit more as she spoke and while she wasn't thrilled about everything, she'd try her best to be happy.

All she wanted was for things to go right for once. To live and love a happy life away from all the crap. Though part of her knew that she was addicted to the life, that no matter how many times she said this was for her family, she secretly loved it. She loved being in power and seeing those who thought they were all so smart and clever be outwitted and then dealt with. But she was pregnant now, and it all really started to shift that paradigm. She started to feel like maybe this was her chance to be the mother she could be to her family. Stay at home with the kids, raise them with their father. Not run a criminal empire that caused her to be gone half of the year. She wanted this second chance.

"Do you think... do you think we should stop all this? I mean honestly what are we doing? I know the money is nice, the big houses and the fancy speeders. But $&%#, you know? You'll be a father, and maybe I can be a good mom for once. I've made so many mistakes in my life, so many wrong choices." She turned her head to look at Abyss with a bit of worry on her features.

"I just don't want this to be a mistake too."

[member="Darth Abyss"]

 

[Darth Abyss]

"How could this be a mistake?"

Obviously he knew how it could be one, but in this moment all the worries of their lives mattered little to him. This was his chance to build a future for himself outside of the darkness, a family that waited for him beyond the edges of the sith, of war, violence and death. Was it the future he had planned? No, but it was still far better than many of the dark and twisted paths he had foreseen in his dreams. [member="Miss Blonde"] and him had a serious chance to be happy together with their child, and that was all he cared for.

"We just have to keep our child out of our actual lives until it is old enough to understand."

Someone else would've probably said to give up their life and become a normal family, but they probably both knew that this was of the table. While he could only speak for himself, he knew that his own operation would fall apart the second he would put down the mask and robe, and with it most of his money and resources. Patricia probably held some money back for herself, but other than him she had high, and rather expensive, standards when it came to her lifestyle.

"And you have to promise me to keep it from walking the same dark path I am on."

That was the one thing he was actually worried about. Their child would be tainted from birth, his fire would burn in it to some degree, and her potential would probably fuel it more than diminish it. While his own dedication was to the sith, he didn't knew anything he wished less for his child than to walk the same path he was on. There was only pain and suffering for people like him, and that wasn't something a father wanted for his child, and yet he already knew that it would feel the same pull to dark side that he felt.

 

[Miss Blonde]

Sometimes Patricia felt like she was stuck in a loop, a never ending cycle of love and loss. What Abyss was going off to do was testament to the fact that she was in it. She'd fall in love with someone, be happy, have children and then their father would die. She'd be alone with the painful reminder of seeing their face in their child, and that caused her to throw herself into her work. To fill her life with as much distractions as possible to not think about it. She'd suffer for it, her children would suffer for it, and she'd only grow colder and harder as time went on. That was what she was worried about, and she honestly didn't know how to express it in words anymore. Because they would always say "That won't happen to me." or "I'll never leave you." But in the end that's what they all did, they all left.

"I just. I just don't want to keep doing this. To throw myself into my work. I want to be a dedicated mother for once in my life. I mean for god sake I'm turning forty and my kids hardly ever see me. I don't want the same for this one. I feel like we can be better for them. Try and live a simple life without all this crap getting in the way." She honest at the very least. She didn't want a repeat.

So looking over to Abyss she held his hand lovingly and looked up at the ceiling. There was a breath of air leaving her mouth in a soft sigh and she didn't even want to get into how she felt about Abyss as a father and his current life style. The last thing she wanted from their kid was for them to grow up to be a Sith, and having a Sith Lord for a dad wasn't really the best thing to keep that from happening.

"You know I love you, and you know I can be pushy. But that's only because I've been burned plenty and I don't want it to happen again. I don't want our kid to walk that path just as much as you, but it's a little hard to not influence them while you're still on it." Her gaze then shifted back over to Atton and she continued speaking.

"I will never ask you to be something you're not. I fell in love with you for who you are. But you need to decide what kind of father you will be. I can't tell you what that may be, all I can do is offer advice from one crappy mother to a new father. The rest is up to you." Patricia would roll herself over so she could directly look at him.

Moving in close she curled up next to the man and rested her head on him, she was emotionally drained at this point and while food and a shower certainly sounded great. She was a bit tired for a lot of basic things besides talking.

[member="Darth Abyss"]

 

[Darth Abyss]

Abyss didn't know what to say. She was right of course, being a lord of the sith wasn't trait commonly associated with being a good father. But was he ready to give it up, was even able to? The darkness was what was slowly killing him, but it was also the very thing that kept him alive. If he left it behind right now then he would probably not live long enough to ever even meet his child.

"There are days were I picture who I would be if I never fell to the darkness, but my path has lead me too deep into it to turn back now. I am a sith, and I will stay one if I want it or not."

That was probably not what she wanted to hear, but it was the only truth he had for her. In a perfect galaxy they would've meet without darkness, war and violence but the galaxy wouldn't suddenly stop being cruel just for them. Was there a chance that this could work even with him continuing on his tainted path? Not the highest that it could be, but he had meet a handful of stih children and some of them had turned out alright.

He looked at her, picking his next words carefully. What he would offer her was a painful thought, probably for both of them, but something like this had to be thought through from start to end, every option had to be at least considered and discussed before making a final decision.

"I want this child, but it is your body and your life. I can never promise you to be a stay at home dad. I can not even promise you that I will be alive tomorrow."

He cleared his throat his eyes showing sadness and sorrow as they wandered over [member="Miss Blonde"]. It wasn't what he wished to happen, but this decision would be hers to make. His death, his failure would be as much her problem as it was his own, with the difference that she would suffer longer because of it.

"If this turns out to be a mistake because I die, you will be the one to be left behind, while I get the easy way out."

 

[Miss Blonde]

If Abyss was good at anything besides being a Sith Lord, it was reminding Patricia how young he was. It was understandable though, she had done a lot more living than he had, and all she could do was tell him how the universe typically worked. How there was no great destiny or path of wickedness and wrath, there was only existence itself and the promise of death. The choices we made until we got there were completely up to Abyss and Abyss alone. He was responsible for everything he was and no one else.

So when he was done speaking the woman curled against his side simply dug in deeper in his embrace. She was quite small compared to him standing at four foot eleven without her shoes on, so this was a pretty easy feat to accomplish. Though it did make kissing a bit more complicated when she either had to lean up or he bend down to make it happen. Sex was great though, but we're getting off topic now.

"Don't give me that @&)#, Atton. None of this I'm too far gone on this path or I can't promise you anything melodramatic bull$#%*." Blonde simply clutched him a bit tighter as she spoke.

"It's never too late to be the person you want to be. The only problem is that you have decide it, and like you said you want this child." Patricia spoke in a low and calm tone as she continued to try and give some wisdom of age to her boyfriend.

"You're responsible for the person you want to be, my love. You are mine and I am yours. You don't complete me and I don't complete you, we both know that crap isn't real. But we half way tolerate each other's $&#% and we make each other happy. That's what counts at the end of the day. You'll come home to me tomorrow because you're the person you are right now, and whether you decide to change or stay the same I'll support and love you no matter what." Patricia truly was someone that could have a conversation and dominate it. That's why she was the boss of a criminal empire after all, she was a sheer force of willpower.

"So you just be you." She paused for a moment then lifted herself up to rest her palm and chin on his chest.

Her large blue eyes met his yellow hued glance and she spoke very softly as she smiled.

"I love you."

[member="Darth Abyss"]

 

[Darth Abyss]

For a moment he was lost for words. Not because he disliked what she had said in any way, but just because he hadn't expected it. She accepted a burned upon herself by allowing him to continue being a sith, and the risk that came with it. If she had told him to lay down the mask and robe and be another man for their child, or else this would be over, then Darth Abyss could have become the past for a while. But while she didn't believed in fate, he did, and he knew for certain that no matter how hard he would've tried to keep the darkness out, it would have always come back to him.

"I love you too. Thank you for accepting who and what I am."

There was probably no need to say it, but he did anyway. The sith were notorious all throughout the galaxy and the sole fact that she had lived with what he was for a while now told much about who she was and what they shared. It wasn't like being some ruthless, cold hearted criminal, the sith were twisted and deranged in their very nature, as their whole path was build upon pain and suffering, around focusing on the darkest emotions a person had. Being able to live with that was an achievement by itself, but having a functioning happy relationship despite it was closer to a miracle.

"Our Child will never see the mask, the robe and anything else until it is old enough to understand. At least that I can promise."

It wasn't much, but if he could keep up a semi double life around their child for a while it would probably help to keep it away from the darkness a bit. But his blood, his essence was tainted anyway and [member="Miss Blonde"] wasn't a saint either, so he had little doubt that it would feel the dark some day. Only how it would handle it made the difference.

"But once it is old enough I want to teach it in the ways of the force if you allow me to. Not the way of the sith of course."

It was a small selfish dream, a feeling of a legacy beyond his cities and apprentices. Their child should become a master of the force, like its parents, well at least if she allowed it.

 

[Miss Blonde]

If Patricia was being completely honest, she didn't know how she felt about her children learning the force. For the most part the woman didn't view the force as anything more than just a tool. It wasn't some all encompassing destiny forging force that guided everyone, to her it was there just because. She never got visions, glimpses of the future, none of that crap. It was only ever power to use for her various projects. But she was certain of one thing, when you learned the force you eventually had to face the darkness that came with it. It's primarily why she had raised her kids outside of it, at least the two of them that were force sensitive. She didn't want Erika or Kincaid dealing with that crap.

"If I'm being real right now. I don't know. My kids have never really learned the force and I've never taught them. I'm not sure I want that kind of life for them, as a mother and a force user I know it's a dangerous life. I mean, most of the time they end up joining some order and then getting themselves killed." It was primarily the reason why Miss Blonde raised her kids out of the way of everything.

Where Blonde called home wasn't the chaos of the core worlds, or the dangers of the outer rim. It was a quiet little civilized planet on the furthest edges of Wild Space. It was out of the way of everything and she owned her own private island with a mansion on it. The place was completely remote and no one knew about it, which meant she didn't have to deal with any of the madness when she was home. Just peace quiet and ocean waves. It was a simple and happy life that she gave her family and she wasn't sure how adding Abyss into the mix was going to change things.

"I don't know how this is going to work with their brothers and sister. They've lived their entire lives away from the core worlds and outer rim, and I honestly don't want that to change. It's been a secure location for years and I don't want to compromise anything. Plus with a kid we'll have to pick where we live so we're not shuttling this kid around and ugh, you know?" There were so many stupid details to work out, and right now she didn't want to think about it.

"You want to just go to bed? That sounds like a preferable alternative to thinking right about now." Really it was.

[member="Darth Abyss"]

 

[Darth Abyss]

Abyss opened his mouth and closed it again. There were a million and one things they had ti discuss, work they had to do to before this even had a chance of working out. Yet like her he neither had the right answers nor the energy to work these things out right now, so he simply walked to the bed and laid down besides her, one hand on her stomach and his eyes starring blankly at the roof above them.

"We will work it out like we always do."

Well always revolved around war, crime and other things that had little in common with raising a child, but how hard could that be? [member="Miss Blonde"] already had her experience in that regard, and Abyss was quick to adapt to new circumstances, so they would find a way. Will he was ready to let it rest for now, there was one question that came up because of her words that he wanted to discuss before calling it a night.

"Our child should be raised with your other children, we agree on that. But does that not mean that I have to meet your children as well?"

Patricia had always been very secretive when it came to her children, and honestly he couldn't blame her for it. A sith lord wasn't the type of person you brought home and introduce as your new boyfriend. He was a beast in human skin, skin that had faded into a corpse like paleness and his eyes had a demonic yellow glow. It wouldn't be to surprising if even his looks alone could scare away a younger child. She had to decide how to handle this situation towards them, but him one day dropping by after the child was born was probably even worse than gradually introducing them to the idea that he and their mother were a couple.