Jasper's words hung in the air as they descended towards Lothal, the planet that held significant memories and emotions for him. As a leader he understood the importance of assessing the local damage and providing aid to those affected by the Sithspawn infestation. Beside him sat Braze, the young bright eyed Padawan he was about to embark on this mission with.
Braze shifted in his seat, his gaze fixed on the floor of the shuttle. But the youth had been as silent as the grave for the entire trip. He had been sitting down with his arms crossed, wrapped around himself and his head lowered. He couldn't help but feel a sense of nervousness and uncertainty in Jasper's presence. The Council member's reputation preceded him, and Braze couldn't help but wonder if he was truly deserving of the opportunity to work alongside someone of such high stature. Braze had been displaying body posture that made him look smaller and less noticeable and made no attempts to draw attention to himself nor attempt any kind of friendly interaction. He spoke only when spoken to and only spoke the bare minimum or what would be expected from him.
Jasper's words drew Braze's attention from the floor. He glanced at the man but didn't meet his gaze unable to make let alone keep eye contact.
"Well...Master Jasper," Braze started, his voice slightly hesitant.
"I'm Braze, a Padawan... or, well, I'm training to become one," he corrected himself, his tone betraying his self-doubt. Braze had long, soft snowy-white hair, tied back into a small, fluffy pony tail, yet the style was devoid of that traditional padawan braid, nor any sort of decorative beads.
"I'm still new to field assignments. I guess I feel like I don't quite measure up."
He glanced up briefly, meeting Jasper's
gaze before quickly looking away again. "I mean, it's an honor to be here with you, but I can't help but feel nervous. I've never been on an assignment like this before, especially with someone from the Council. It's, um, a bit overwhelming."
Braze's fingers fidgeted with the edge of his soft silken robes, a sign of his uneasiness.
"I'll be honest with you Master Jasper. I'm not particularly fond of mercy missions. I mean, I understand their importance and helping others is a Jedi's duty, but I've always been much more excited about putting my saber skills to the test. Saber combat is... well, it's something I'm really good at."
He couldn't hide a hint of pride in his voice as he spoke about his swordsmanship. Braze had spent countless hours training and honing his skills with the lightsaber, finding a sense of comfort and confidence in his abilities. It was the one thing he reveled in and permeated his actions and compelled a lot of his decisions. He was always anxious for a scrap be it with an elder and better, or to prove himself amongst his peers. He was exceptionally competitive and sought out confrontation with an affinity for it.
"But, um...I know that being a Jedi is about more than just fighting. It's about protecting and helping others. And I want to do that, I really do," he continued, his voice growing slightly more resolute. "I just... sometimes doubt myself. Or my purpose or if I'm really mean to be here. I'm still learning, still finding my place in all of this. Part of me feels like maybe I wasn't meant for this, or that maybe if i had been different when I was younger things wouldn't be what they are today. Lately, I often feel like I'm a mistake and a burden to others. "
Braze took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves.
"So...although I'm not the most experienced, I'll do my best, to assist you, Master Jasper. I'll try and learn from you and follow your lead. Together, I hope my contributions can assist the people of Lothal and make a difference," he said, a flicker of determination shining through his uncertainty.
He hoped that his honesty would be met with understanding, that Jasper would see that he was going to try and make a real effort not to screw things up.
Braze was eager to prove himself and grow as a Jedi, to become a true protector and defender.
He didn't think lying to Jasper would be a particularly good foot to start things off on. And truthfully Braze was rather overwhelmed with the fact if the situation with this assignment, believing himself unworthy of this opportunity. Normally he had Ember Tide to calm and steel his thoughts and right now it felt like he was going through withdrawal from that warm aura of assurance that made him feel it was okay to just be.