Private Broken Wings

[Zaiya Ceti]

The Jedi Temple
CORUSCANT

-

“Oh, okay. What about outside of Coruscant? Any other places you enjoy to eat at other worlds?” Zaiya followed up in query. She had a big list to go through with Aris, so she was always curious if there were any other places or cuisines to try. Colette had already confirmed herself to be a solid judge of hole in the wall gems.

However, her confusing on the trees in cages comment left Zaiya visibly confused, her patterns rippling in shades of pale grey.

“Trees in cages?” Aris hadn’t mentioned that. Then again, Zaiya also agreed that there was a distinct lack of nature on the capital planet. It did feel weird.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"Not really." Colette shrugged. "Yeah, trees in cages."

"There are no forests on Coruscant. Trees are only allowed to live if they look nice. Animals can only live if they are kept in boxes." Oh lord, the rant was starting. "The people only look after another when it suits them. The weak are walked all over by the strong. There is a disconnect between those who lead and those who obey."

"I don't like this place. It's a monument for a lot of things I hate."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

The Jedi Temple
CORUSCANT

-

"It is surreal that such a world exists for me too," Zaiya agreed with Colette . Truth be told, the Lovalla wasn't very comfortable being surrounded by so much metal and natural dissonance.

However, that is when the older Padawan began to passionately talk about the people and how they are selfish, only looking after themselves. The disconnect between leaders and who they lead. Zaiya gave her head a small tilt, pondering this. For someone who comes from a social community where everyone looks after each other, it was also an odd thought.

"Oh... is there a way to fix it then?" Zaiya asked, "To maybe encourage people to help instead of walking over others?" In Zaiya's gullibility, she still believed that there was always a way to make things better; one just had to think about the best way forward.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"There is always a way to make people see reason." Colette nodded, she was very certain of it. "The problem is that some people have blinded themselves to it, or lost faith, which is where we come in."

Now this was a much better topic.

"Nobody is born evil. In an even bigger meaning, everyone is just sort of doing what they believe is best for themselves and those around them. You know?" Colette shrugged and devoured another piece of her food. "Some people believe in a common good, and some believe that what is good for them will eventually 'trickle down' to others and be good for those people too."

"As Jedi we need to step in and help with the conflicts that pop up when these things cause misunderstandings, you know? Not to necessarily spread peace in all situations but to make it as strong as possible given the options we have."

"We're mediators and peacekeepers. How we go about it is a very open question, but to me that means a lot of talking and helping — to others in the order it means to kill those who would push others around and to sort of force peace into existence." Those last few words were grumbled at best. Colette had opinions on these members. "None of them are right, yet none of them are wrong."

"Being a Jedi is as chaotic as being anything else in the galaxy, it seems. The only real ideals that tie us all together is peace and understanding. Usually."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

The Jedi Temple
CORUSCANT

-

Zaiya listened carefully to Colette . This was why is was interested in hearing so many different perspectives of the Jedi and the Force. Everyone was different, but it allowed the Lovalla teen a better picture of what being a Jedi would entail.

“So how do you know how to balance it when you are out there trying to be a mediator and peacekeeper? “ she asked, picking up another roll of sushi, “talking and helping versus fighting and causing others harm?”

It reminded her what Aris Noble said how he felt having to kill two people to protect his siblings. That he didn’t regret it but was sad for the loss of life and that it had to occur.

“If you have to protect the lives of your mate, family and friends, or even strangers… isn’t it warranted to do all you can to ensure they are safe and arnt harmed, or worse killed?”

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

Good question…

Colette gave it a thoughtful frown for a moment. Her glance seemed to bounce around the area for a moment at irregular intervals before they set on Zaiya again.

"Violence is always a failure in one way or the other, and especially if it leads to someone's death." Colette nodded at her own words. "My mate, or my family, should be protected because they are living and feeling individuals and not because of who they are to me."

"Just like it's my duty to protect them from attackers, it's also my duty to protect the attacker from them. My role as a Jedi isn't to dictate who is deserving of life and who is not, that's not what the code says."

"We don't always get the option when push comes to shove, of course, but death — that's the easy option. Nothing about being a peacekeeper is supposed to be easy."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

The Jedi Temple
CORUSCANT

-

Zaiya was grateful Colette was taking the time to really consider how she answered her questions. It told her a lot about who has made the decision to join and the why behind it along with what they wanted to do to help out.

Zaiya chewed on her sushi roll, the taste and even the salty zing of the wasabi growing on her. However it was easy to feel full on this. Nonetheless she could see how this was addictive.

“Then it’s a matter of trying to keep a level head in the heat of the moment and try to manage the proper level of force required before deadly force is applied?” Zaiya only had the battle of Tython and what occurred on Myker as examples. Each one seemed to just jump on the chaotic scale fast.

Each one made her wish she could have done more; be it defending or protecting others.

“How do you keep yourself level headed and not panic? I couldn’t help but feel helpless and useless on Tython. I wish I just could have done more and not felt like a deadweight.”

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"When I was a child I was taught to always try to distance myself from what is happening enough to 'experience what was happening' in a sense, which takes some time to really get an understanding for?" Colette tilted her head just a little. "Sorry, I'm not the best at explaining things like that, but…"

"They meant that you only have to be present enough to be aware of what you can do in a situation." Colette downed another piece of the food and used the chewing as an excuse to keep quiet and consider her words for a moment. "It's…"

She exhaled, this was difficult to explain for her.

"Chaos is a… Timed thing? The first few seconds when you are faced with something unexpected, a— a surprise! — That's the ones that matter, right? Everything after that is easier and easier to process. Especially once you know how to wade through your panic the more that you understand your own mind and how it processes new sensations."

"So, you most likely weren't useless, you just hadn't honed your instincts enough to be in tune with that flight-and-fight response yet."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

The Jedi Temple
CORUSCANT

-

Distance oneself to experience what is happening.

It took a bit for the girl to ponder what that meant and how that applied to situations moving forward. She was, after all, still fourteen. Zaiya didn’t have all the lived in experiences to really put forth the understanding what it all meant and how to apply it. Her kind were non violent by culture, and they held discourse and open dialogue in high regard - had to when their emotions were there for all to see and read. Yet they were also willing to protect their love ones as necessary, their biologies allowing them to double their strength if necessary to do so.

Having Colette explain that Zaiya wasn’t useless, just not trained to understand her role or her instincts to be in tune with what to do sent a small sense of relief through her, her the dark amber hues of contemplation blending to to blues and a positive golden glow around the edges of her mottled patterns.

“Thank you… that… helps a lot when thinking about what I could try to do next.” Zaiya replied in gratitude, giving a small abashed smile.

“So… take the time to pause to see the bigger picture first. “ she gave a sigh, “looks like there is a lot I need to learn. I’m sure I’ll need years to get to where you are at to really figure that out.” By no means did this mean she felt dejected; just that she wished she knew about this earlier. How many years had they spent time in training to be able to be so knowledgeable at what they do?

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"I was raised from birth to be like this." Colette said. "Nobody will be expecting you to be in control of yourself when you start out. In my case, I was raised to control and steer dangerous animals away from my family. Hesitation was my worst enemy and I was taught to control it."

"But… That's what sparring is for. It's not just a way to learn how to control a fight, but a way to control your reaction when you are faced with something unknown, whether it's a person or thing."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Colette was raised to be like this. That meant that it was reasonable for the older Padawan to be able to react accordingly to dangerous situations. Compared to Zaiya, whose first experience in such a perilous situation had been on Tython, and she had no training to defend herself before.

"You are right, sparring would help," The Lovalla teen gave a nod, "Aris and Braze helped me find a few training outfits so that I can try practicing some martial skills. " she told Colette, reaching for a sip of her drink.

"But sometimes I wonder if there may be anything else I could do. Aris trains a lot to be a Battlemaster one day, so he likes to train with a saber or whatever weapons he needs to perfect that. Braze is good with his saber, too, but he also seems to know how to use the Force in ways of defense and attack."

Zaiya frowned, "But that would take a long time to learn, right? Is there anything a little easier to learn that could help me protect my friends and myself in a spar or if something happened again?"

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"I mean," Colette shrugged and took a bite from her food. "It's pretty good to just be fast and steady in general. Aris and Blaze can practice a saber all they want, but it's not much use if their opponent can outpace them when running the other way."

"Just give it some time, I guess. Focus on building up your foundations before you start looking at what you want to put on top of it. Build some strength, exercise that endurance, and you'll find that the rest comes to you easily once you've found what is the most fun to you."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Colette

"You are right, thank you Colette, for giving me your guidance," Zaiya replied, genueintly grateful for the older Padawan's perspective. It helped the young Lovalla teen work through what she wanted to do and how that would affect when - oh.

That was a thought. I am already thinking of when I join the order instead of if.

That brought a half smile at the realization then. But more information was still very very helpful... and how to pitch it to Dr. Izak to see if he would agree...

"What are some recommendations of a foundation that I should build first?" Zaiya asked followed by, "What did you start with when you joined the Order?"

Hilariously, it still had not dawned on Zaiya that this Colette was actually Aris Noble 's older sister. In her mind, there could be so many different Colette's, and Aris had said that his home was on Niv Hani.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

Huh. Guidance. That wasn't what Colette had seen it as. It was a good feeling to feel valued like that though. She smiled and nodded at Zaiya.

"Of course, any time." She said. "I started with strength. I was kinda… Stringy when I joined. I think that was what they called it."

Wiry, but close enough. Colette eyed Zaiya up and down. Given her age, height, all that…

"I could give you a few pointers some time if I see you at the gym, if you want."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Colette

Zaiya immediately brightened at Colette's offer. Sure, the Lovalla teen had no clue whatsoever what that meant in regard to a gym and what she'd have to do with those pointers, but Zaiya was all to willing to tackle on whatever advice the older Padawan was willing to give her.

"Really, really?!" the colorful girl straightened in her chair only to lean forward with giddy excitement. Too bad, Colette already offered and Zaiya emphatically agreed. No going back now.

"I'd really appreciate that!" now all she had to was figure out what one did at the gym. "When would be a good time? I can check my schedule and see when I can do overnights." Now she'd have to find a place to spend the night on, but that should be fine...

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"I… Don't know when." Colette blinked. "I don't keep a schedule like that, I just… Go?"

"Do you keep a schedule like that?"

"... Why?"

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

“Oh, well because I don’t live here.” Zaiya explained to Colette , grabbing another roll of sushi with her chopsticks.

“I live on Commoner, and I have to ask for permission for overnight stays. But I finished all my finals so it should be fine.” She smiled, beaming.

“I’ll just need to find a place to stay.” Maybe she could find a room in a nearby hotel or something.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

Oh, right, she mentioned Commenor before. Galactic travel was weird like that. She mouthed a silent 'ohhhh right' and slowly nodded at Zaiya.

"Maybe Braze knows a place? Or Aris." Colette shrugged. "I share my room with my, uh, mate as you call it."

"He's great, you'd probably get along with him too. His name is Shan."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

"Oh Braze might know!" She pondered a bit more at Colette suggestion regarding Aris Noble , "Oh, I don't know if Aris would... he said he lives on Niv Hani." a pause, then a bright smile, "But he did say he would invite me over, and we can maybe try looking at that cool sunken temple in the middle of the lake." a sheepish expression drew over her features next, as she added, "Well... if I can learn how to swim by then."

At the mention of sharing a room with her mate, Shan Pavond , Zaiya smiled joyfully. "Oh, that must be nice to share your room with your mate! That means you can eat together all the time, play games, hang out, and be with each other all the time." a brief flash of lavender in mild envy drew over Zaiya's features, not because of any romantic jealousy, but more that Colette had found in someone what Zaiya constantly wondered if she'd ever be able to do -- truly connect and be so in tune with someone that they are your partner and family. That constant ability to reach out and feel their warmth and comforting presence.

It must be wonderful.

"I'd be happy to meet him." Zaiya smiled, genuinely meaning that.

"I'm glad to know that the Order does allow you to do that. Because of how my kind bonds work, my parents had to ensure they were hired within the same University. Otherwise, they would get physically ill if separated for too long," Or potentially risk dying. That was the con of such a symbiotic bond for mates who have been in a partnership for decades. Separation would cause them to fall into a depression and lose their vibrancy, and the longer the separation, the more likely that the Lovalla would not be able to survive the experience.

"What is it like? Having a mate? " Zaiya asked, bright citrine hues of curiosity rippling over her patterns, feeling comfortable now enough to hope that Colette wouldn't be offended by her questions. Zaiya didn't have anyone else to ask. It seemed many were embarrassed by the thought of having a partner. But for Zaiya, that was a bond her kind of looked forward to outside of their familial bonds with their parents. After all, a Lovalla would typically stay and live with their parents until they found a mate. That was the issue with Zaiya. She had no connections. No bonds. The Force now offered a way to change that.

Or at least, she really, really hoped so.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"That sounds horrible." Colette frowned as Zaiya explained how her bonds worked. "Hopefully you can find a way to ease that a little."

"Having a mate is pretty good." Colette smiled and nodded. "He listens to me and is very kind. Almost too kind, actually. Shan's a smart man but he puts himself down too much, thinks he isn't worth as much as he truly is. Which is where I come in and punch some sense into him. Literally, if I have to."

"On some level he just understands me. I value my space and freedom a lot and he is okay with how big of a deal I can make of that sometimes even when I don't have to. We don't… Agree on it, but we respect each other enough to not care about it."

"For example, I don't like having my hand grabbed - so, he extends a hand so that I can choose to grab his or not. It's such a small thing, but it means everything to me that he understands."