Private Broken Wings

[Zaiya Ceti]

“Yeah… I’m not sure how the Force works with bonds with me so I’ll have to figure that out if it does it the same.” Zaiya agreed, as she was unsure if the Force allowed her to make similar bonds or not with that same side effects. As it was, it was nice to be able to resonate with Aris Noble and hold his hand and be close to him. The same with Braze Kai'el and Loomi , only it was a bit different since they confirmed they already have a special bond and Zaiya didn’t want to get in between that.

As Colette explained her relationship with Shan Pavond and how sweet and kind he was, along with how great they were able to work things out and respect each other while being together, Zaiya’s smile would broaden to a wide grin, and her skin would take up that pearly luminescence again. Bright vibrant hues of blues would reflect her joy and wonder, while tiny smidgens of lavender would relay her mild jealousy, but the golden bioluminescence of her patterns edged would signify that it wasn’t a jealous malice as much as the glowing desire for such a similar experience. Zaiya was genuinely happy for Colette. She was very, very, lucky.

“He sounds amazing. I’m very happy for you. You are extremely lucky to find each other,” Zaiya said with a smile, only for her colors to dampen slightly in confusion on why having Shan hold her hand wasn’t liked.

“Oh, why don’t you like to have your hand held? “ she asked, curious, as Zaiya was always trying to show affection through physical touch or just be reassured by their presence.

“Isn’t it just a way to want to be with the person and be close?”

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"I-..." Colette sighed. "Yes, it is."

"I just grew up in a society that's really… Special about these things." She said and took another bite of her food just to buy herself some time to think it over. "I mean, for example, we had these really elaborate databanks a bunch of heritages on them. It went from the first few officers that had been stranded on my planet when the plagues hit, all the way down to their off-spring, and their offspring's offspring, and so on, for eight hundred years."

Their people had never really been particularly big in numbers either. During the last attempt to measure how many they were, the number landed at roughly five hundred thousand which was up from the numbers a decade before that measured at around four hundred fifty. Colette could have explained the situation, but she didn't. There wasn't much of a point in explaining that they didn't hold hands because that was how the plagues spread, at least not to her. It seemed really obvious. Eventually though, people didn't do it because they found that there are better ways to greet each other, or show care.

"Because nobody can track down who my parents were, I was especially urged not to be part of it. It would most likely lead to heartache, and I was a danger because of who my parents were, not so much who I was."

"Inbreeding." Colette clarified when it was clear that Zaiya was about to ask. "There was no way of really telling who they were, who it was that birthed me, or when. All attempts just led to dead-end after dead-end which most likely meant that on top of the danger I posed, I was a secret that somebody was desperate enough to want to keep that they abandoned a baby to her fate."

"Whoever they were, they covered it all up somehow, for some reason." The more Colette spoke, the more she felt like she was pulling at the strings of a conspiracy that she herself had formulated over the years as a means to give herself a reason why nobody loved her back home. It wasn't a very pleasant realization to have with someone that was for all intents and purposes still a stranger.

The teenager swallowed her words for a moment as her stare grew increasingly vacant. This was not at all a pleasant conversation for her, but some morbid desire pushed her deeper into it. As if talking to a stranger made these things just a little easier than if she had brought it up with someone like Shan or Valery who had obligations to try and help her get over it.

"Ironic as it is, one of the first few ways that the 'certified' good ones start to show their interest in a girl or a boy, or any other partner is by firmly grabbing their hand. Some even make a game out of it to sneak up on their target and surprise them."

"The first boy who tried that with me got thrown to the ground and his nose broken." Colette frowned. "With a fist. By me." She rubbed at her neck. "I was terrified of what it meant. That he wanted to grab my hand that was so… Unclean. I was not meant to experience that, and for a slither of a moment, I had—"

"I had managed to get my hopes up, despite everything. I had to destroy it, for both our sake."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Zaiya listened intently as Colette spoke, her expression and shifting hues revealing her confusion and desire for clarity. With each word, Zaiya's colors shifted into empathetic shades of blues and bronze, reflecting her deep emotional connection to Colette's story. She felt the urge to reach out and offer comfort, but she held back, mindful of Colette's personal boundaries and cultural differences - differences she was explaining at the moment why doing so would be such a distasteful thing.

Instead, she gripped her chopsticks tightly, letting Colette speak uninterrupted. When Colette finished, Zaiya took a deep breath, her wide eyes reflecting her efforts to process everything.

"I... I can understand why it would be so painful for someone to take your hand in a gesture of romantic interest, only to contradict everything you've been taught," Zaiya said softly. Her skin took on a faint silver sheen, resonating with melancholy and empathetic compassion for Colette's struggle. Shades of dark greys, bronzes, and ambers danced over her skin, mirroring her emotional turmoil.

"But I'm glad you found someone who can offer you a hand to choose to take and show you that you are loved and cherished for who you truly are and not defined by the beliefs or expectations others had of you," Zaiya continued, offering a warm smile. A faint golden glow shimmered at the edges of her patterns, reflecting her positive thoughts and well wishes for Colette.

"Maybe one day I'll be just as lucky," Zaiya added, hoping that perhaps, one day, she could have what Colette and Shan found in each other.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"I understand how you feel." Colette said and took a bite from her food. "But you're also very young. There'll be time."

Though it seemed that Zaiya might not have been wanting that answer? The colors were rather lost on Colette at times, but she felt like she understood enough to slowly but gently extend her hand in support.

"All this said, hands - out here - are a good way to show support too." She smiled. "For a second or two at least."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

"I know. It took my parents almost fifty years before they found each other, and even then, it took almost another thirty before they could finally have me," Zaiya explained to Colette , moving back to grab some more sushi to eat.

She did however, give a brighter smile, "But I am learning that the Force may at least allow me to form similar kinship bonds like what I had with my parents! I can feel a bit of that when I'm around Aris and we hold hands or touch." Which was really nice to feel again.

"I really missed being able to feel that." a sudden dampening of her colors in memory of how long it had been since she felt cut off from her parents at her death until now.

"So I'm glad that Aris is okay with that." The brightened golden glow was back again, a positive softening of that melancholy. It appeared that Zaiya very much valued Aris's friendship and understanding in that.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

Deep breath, slow exhale.

"Hey, this is our first time meeting." Colette said. "We have more than enough time to wander through all this sadness at our own pace, okay?"

"... Why don't you tell me more about Aris? Is there anything in particular about him that you like? Beyond the handholding, of course."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Moving to a different topic was a strategic segue before both girls became deeply melancholy. Zaiya was mature enough to recognize it, but also the topic of Aris Noble was always one that brought a joyful cheer to the Lovalla. It was an easy switch.

"Hmm...." Zaiya pondered, wondering where to start. Anything particular? Colette was likely asking about things beyond the surface level. She had already discussed how she admired Aris's diligence in his studies and that he could do many cool things with his body with the Force. Watching him in the proving grounds and seeing what he could do had been fun.

"I like him. He's really nice. Quiet, but fun -- Give him a bit, and he'll start to get comfortable and really enjoy himself, especially if it is something he's particularly passionate about." The Lovalla teen began, grabbing another roll of sushi to pop it into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully again before continuing.

"I like his smile and when he laughs because it feels good to be able to enjoy being together and having fun. I'm glad that he also enjoys trying new foods to eat, so that's why we have a list of burger places to try. We both like festivals and trying all the different types of foods. I met him while we were both on Liliac during their Festival of Colors. It was a blast." she grinned, sparkling with a joyful luminescence in memory.

"He's a good listener, and he doesn't make me feel bad about all the weird things I tend to do. Well, it's not weird as much as stuff I second guess myself a lot on. He notices when I'm overthinking things and reminds me that I don't have to. Sometimes things are just really simple." A slight flush of gratefulness would dance over Zaiya's patterns in abashed delight. "I feel safe around him. He did his best to help and protect me when we were at Tython and after that crash on Myrkr." That had been... a rough time after, too.

"Plus, he also introduced me to Braze Kai'el and Loomi , so now I have more friends because of him, too!" It was an absolute blast to have more connections and friendships grow because of it.

"He's the one who helped me figure out I can sense the Force and recommended that I research and see where I could learn more about it. The Jedi Order was one option, so I've been hanging out to learn more about it. I think I will join, though. "

All in all, Aris was a great friend and Zaiya was very grateful that he came into her life.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

Colette slowly nodded along. These descriptions of Aris were certainly more in tune with who she knew Aris to be, except for the excitable part. She swore that she had mostly ever seen him stare at a situation, drink cocoa, and stayed out of whatever it was, stoic as he was.

"It sounds like you love him." Colette mused and took a bite of her food. "Not necessarily the kind that says you want to spend your life with him, but the kind that means he is special to you and that you care for him."

"I mean love out here in the bigger world seems to be a very… Reserved thing and I don't really think that's fair. It just means that you really care for someone. So I'm not saying love-love, just love-love, you know?"

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

​

It sounds like you love him.

That comment perked Zaiya's interest, her head canting to the side in contemplation, dark amber tones painting over her mottled spots and patterns of her face in an iridescent curiosity. Love? Do I love Aris?

Awareness hit her then. Oh. Yes! That made sense. She cared for him and wanted him to be by her side, so yes, that worked. Especially since she was already starting to feel the same connections she had felt with her parents.

However, the additional observation Colette added seemed to perplex Zaiya more. Love love? Blinking rapidly, Zaiya asked, "You said love love twice. What is the difference?"

Another thought.

"Wait, why is love a reserved thing? Shouldn't we tell people we love them?"

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

Oh god, she had to explain that? Nuh uh. Colette's lips thinned for a moment and she took another bite of her food just to have to avoid answering once Zaiya began asking something else.

"People think love means you wanna fu— uhhhh… Hug their brains out." Colette frowned. "It's apparently a very 'loaded' word to some. Which, no, it doesn't make any sense."

"Anyway. Don't worry about it. I think it's better to just say it and have people tell you not to than to leave it unsaid."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

​

People think love means you want to hug someone's brains out? Isn't that just a super tight warm hug? Who wouldn't want a tight hug? Hmm, maybe not many people wanted hugs? Zaiya knew that there were others who didn't like it when she got too close or touched them. Okay, perhaps that's why.

But Aris was okay with me touching or hugging him!

The expression Zaiya had was extremely comical, as the teenager had taken Colette 's use of the words quite literally. A sage nod would follow in agreement: "Oh yes, that makes sense. It is better to tell them that you love them! "

A broad grin drew over her face, "I'd want all my friends to know that I care about them a lot and think they are special! " Zaiya would have to start telling Aris Noble , Loomi , and Braze Kai'el that she loved them and appreciated that they were her friends.

"I'll need to tell Aris then," she said, nodding a few times. "That way, he knows!"

She suddenly flashed a bright grin, and her skin took on a cheerful bioluminescent glow."Then maybe he'll tell me he loves me back!"

Zaiya gave a giddy giggle, then added, "Then we can hug our brains out together!"

Not literally, of course! Colette didn't literally mean to love someone so much that they are hugging someone's brains out!

Right?

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

And then a bit of water to—

"Then we can hug our brains out together!"

Colette chortled and choked the second Zaiya spoke. It was followed by a cavalcade of coughs as Colette nearly keeled over.

"No no no," She said and wiped a tear from her eye. "I meant mating."

"My maaaahhh~ ther. Mother… Asked me to mind my language. Don't worry about it. It's just what these silly so-called civilized people do."

"Did people ever do that to you? Just ask you to not swear because it's apparently "wrong"?"

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

"Oh my stars, are you okay?!" Zaiya gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as she frantically searched for a towel or something to help Colette . A ripple of alarm shot pale yellow tones over her patterns, and she quickly grabbed a napkin to offer it to the brunette.

Unfortunately, Zaiya didn't quite grasp the specific definition of "mating" that Colette was indicating—she understood it as the partner rather than the actual physical act. Now, the teenager was confused. Did love mean giving hugs or not? And, well, yes, one is supposed to love one's mate. But what was wrong with loving your mate? The euphemism went over Zaiya's head, and she kept many questions to herself while trying to ensure Colette was okay.

When Colette asked her about minding her language, Zaiya took it literally. "Well, I guess it would make sense if one was trying to speak a specific language and ensure others can understand you. Galactic Basic is the standard. Do you know other languages then?"

Then came the 'swearing' part. Zaiya's expression turned serious. "Oh, no. I don't make any promises unless I intend to keep them," she said with a sage nod, utterly unaware that Colette meant swearing in the sense of cursing and using inappropriate words. That wasn't to say Zaiya didn't use expletives, they were just more like 'Oh blast!', 'oh stars', or 'drat!'

Certainly not 'fuck'.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"No, not swearing like a promise, I meant swearing as in curse words. 'Bad' words. Words that make soft people squirm." Colette chuckled and shook her head. "You know, your classic fucks, shits, craps, and balls."

"Basically, if it's part of any common biology, chances are it's considered dirty."

"And yeah, sort of. I've picked up Basic Sign Language for the sake of communicating quietly. I don't like telepathy, and quite frankly it's everyone's duty to make sure that they can speak with those who cannot hear you."

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

​

"Oh. OH!" Zaiya's eyes went wide, and then a flush of embarrassment swept over her patterns. "Ahaha... right. Bad words. Curse words."

Leaning forward, Zaiya mulled over Colette 's observation. Then she went "Huh, wait.. you are right. Why are these curse words considered to be bad? Especially if they deal with common biology?"

Then again, Zaiya wasn't sure if she could see herself using 'fuck'... maybe 'feth.'

"Telepathy? What is that?" Zaiya knew what Basic Sign Languge was, but she hadn't heard of the telepathy language, unknowing that it was a way to use the Force to communicate. The one time it happened with Braze Kai'el Zaiya had been so overwhelmed she wasn't sure what had been going on. She'd passed out after that battle and it had never come up since then on what Braze did to talk in her mind.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"It's when someone intrudes on your mind to project their ideas on you. Like talking without actually talking." Colette frowned. "I don't like it."

The last piece on Colette's piece stood at its lonesome by this point. She looked at it with a deeper frown at the realization as she gently pinched the piece between her chopsticks. Rice, seaweed, and a big flat shrimp, and shoved it in her mouth to take in all the flavors.

The last one was always the most melancholic one. She was all too aware that there were no more after this.

"Mmm…" She hummed with her eyes closed. "I love this place."

"Make sure your friends don't tell everyone they know if you do tell them about this place, okay?"

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

​

Immediately as Colette described what it was, Zaiya's eyes went wide, and she exclaimed, "I had that happen once! Braze Kai'el 's voice suddenly was in my head, and I thought I was imagining it or hallucinating!" To be honest, it had been really scary. The whole situation was in the midst of trying to get away from someone chasing them, and everything had been chaotic.

"I wasn't sure how it happened, but it felt so weird and honestly, really scary. Like if I had headphones but really had no headphones at all. "There was a pause, and then she mulled about it. Was there a way to stop people from doing that? However, the older teen drew her from her reverie to remind the Lovalla teen to make sure her friends didn't tell everyone they knew about this place, too.

With a broad grin, Zaiya gave an empathic nod, also grabbing another roll to eat, "Don't worry! I'll swear them to secrecy!"

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"That is exactly why I don't like when people rely on it." Colette said in response to the Braze thing. "It's not natural, not to most people. Their mind is their mind, there is usually only one voice in it."

She sighed.

"Good!" She exclaimed and nodded. "I trust Aris will know, but Braze…"

"Anyway, I should probably get back to the temple." She said and put her hands on the table to scoot herself out of her booth. "I don't expect anything to have happened since we left, but you never know."

"It was nice meeting you, Zaiya!"

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

​

Perhaps, the most hilarious of all this interaction, was that unbeknownst to Zaiya, the older Padawan was actually Aris Noble 's older sister but also, was Shan Pavond 's girlfrend. One day, this would be bound to be a hilarious revelation.

Zaiya gave a broad grin. It was nice meeting Colette too! "I am really happy I met you, Colette! Thank you so much for helping me out and bringing me here. The food is amazing!"

"I hope to see you around! Let me give you my comm number just in case," The girl added, rushing to take out her comm. This was great! Now she made a new friend.

Regardless, it was a lovely end to a wonderful meal. Hopefully, it will signify that Zaiya will continue to make more connections and that her time at the Jedi Temple will be filled with lots of adventure, eating, and fun times.

 

[Colette]

Zaiya Ceti

"Oh, uh… Right." Colette nodded and pulled out a clearly unused device in her hand. Default background, default ringtone, home page unchanged, and just the faintest crack running along one of its edges. "There. I think. I never use this thing unless I have to."

"Well, uh… See you around, Zaiya." Colette said and waved her hand, forgetting she had her phone in it and quickly reached out for the now falling device, catching it just before it hit the table.

She cleared her throat.

"I have a feeling I'll find out if Aris liked it or not." She finally said and quickly left on that note before Zaiya could ask any follow up. "Byyyyyyeeee~"