Chasing Shadows

[Riamah]

"What if they didn't notice it, Daxton? It would be why they never approached me."

He mentioned there was maybe a risky ​way to awaken her ability. Tilting her head to the side, laying her ears back slightly and her tail continued to wave slightly, she look at him before speaking up on the matter.

"I'm not that old. Maybe an adult by my people, but only eighteen in regular humanoid years. What's so risky?"

Daxton had come across as reluctant, but Ailuros felt it should be her decision on if the risk was too great.

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

“Force users are still quite rare considering the population of the galaxy.” He explained to [member="Ailuros"] so that she could better understand what he meant, “With so many Force factions forming up, recruitment is at an all time high. Often they would come and test the child while it is still in its infancy, the better to mold the student to their philophies should he or she prove to apt. If you pass, you would be take from your family and raised by the Order that found you. Oh I know it sounds cruel but it is so that your only concept of family is your fellow force users.”

“I have rejected this anarchic way of thinking. Ties of bloods are equally important as the Force. I take no individual, gifted as they may be without their full consent and cooperation. Many consider such is heretical, but it suits me just fine.”

“The reason I hesitate, is because the process to awaken the Force within you, may trigger powerful memories. Some of those who tried got so wrapped up im their memories that they never recovered. This is also why they choose to awaken while the child is still an infant and has no powerful memories to speak of.”

“For each person, the experience is different. Just as we are gifted in the Force in different ways. I cannot gurantee it would be painless or that delving in memories would be pleasant, but it has to be done to open your mind, to attune it to the Force.”

 

[Riamah]

Before Ailuros had been sent out on her mission to explore the galaxy by her people, there had been very few visitors to her planet. She hadn't met any personally at all. A whole galaxy out there and her planet had been virtually untouched by it. It wasn't too surprising nobody had approached her before about her ability to use the Force. Her people didn't know of it.

"I have a mother, father and brothers. My other family was my crew on my ship before they made their own families by getting married and having kittens. Such wasn't meant for me and my people sent me out with the request to report back to them about what goes on out in the galaxy."

Daxton mentioned what was so risky about the method he was hesitant to use. Dragging up powerful memories and some people not recovering from them. There was a few powerful memories for her that were scary, but not many and the cat didn't feel she would dwell on them.

"I've only had one traumatic event in my life and think I would be fine, Daxton."

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

“While it is you decision to make eventually, [member="Ailuros"], I hope you do not hold it against me that I have explained the risk involved. Memories are one of the few things I have no control over and I felt it would not be fair to put you down this path without explaining the possible dangers involved. But if this is something you want after all I have told you, we can proceed as soon as we finish our drinks.”

The Sith would spend the rest of the time answering any questions she might have before rising from his chair and gesturing for her to follow. They walk to a wall with a hidden panel that opened up a hyperlift. Stepping forward, they zipped down several floors before exiting on a brightly lit hallway.

“To minimize any potential harm to you, we will be placing you in null gravity field. This would suspend you in the air and allow freedom of movement should you desire without putting you in harms way. A preparatory shot will be injected in the base of your spine, you may feel drowsiness or heaviness of limbs. That effect is to be expected. Depending on chemical composition, there might be a sensations that your nerves are on fire or your stomach is bloated, those are neurological effects, but we will monitoring your vitals just the same. Last chance to back down or shall we continue?”

 

[Riamah]

The cat was a very curious creature and as they talked with her asking questions and Daxton answering, this would be clearly obvious to him. Eventually though their glasses were empty and it was time to go.

He explained what would happen to her and Ailuros nodded in understanding.

"What is the shot for?"

Not having had one before, she wanted to know more about it before it happened. She was pleased they keep a watch on her vitals though and when he offered one last chance to back down, she stood to her full height and shook her head.

"No, I want to give this a chance. Worst that happens is I stay locked away in my memories."

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

“The shot is a mild supressant which will dull the reflexes but also has properties that will expand consciousness, which is why it is i,protant to this in a closed clinical setting. As I mention there may be sme neurological effects, this is your brain as it tries to make sense of what you would be experiencing. There is a high likelihood while you are under its effect, you may temporarily lose your sight. Do not be afraid, listen to my voice and I guide you back. Once you are ready, step onto the silver disc and we can proceed.” He assured [member="Ailuros"], pointing to the silver circle on the floor in the middle of the room.

Minutes after they entered several medical personnel and droids, to oversee the next of the operation. Once she steps on the disc and it is activated, she would be enveloped in a weightless field. Daxton would be donning a medical gown and mask similar to those worn by the others.

There would be a slight pricking sensation on the back as he said, then her eyes would start to feel drowsy. As her lids slowly closed she could here his voice seeming calmly as if beside her ear.

“Slowly count down from twenty. All you will hear is my voice. Trust my voice and I will lead you back.”

 

[Riamah]

She looked curiously around the room. So similar yet different than the one she had woken up in earlier. Listening to his answer, her ears twitched outward and her head tilted as the answer interested her. The innocence of a child still clung to her, but it was slowly changing into that of an adult. While away from Trian, Ailuros had been in several battles and seen what could happen in them first hand. Luckily they had not caused her mental harm or affected her greatly.

Ailuros took up her spot on the disk that was waiting for her and took a breath. Feeling the prick at the base of her tail, she gave the person a slightly dirty look. Even though she had been warned, there had been nothing said before it happened. As predicted her vision started fading and her stomach fell yucky, but she didn't get sick or anything.

His voice next to her requested she count down from twenty...

"Three, two..."

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

As the drugs raced through her system, [member="Ailuros"] could feel eyelids getting heavier and heavier, her speech was starting to slur, before her vision completely faded she could hear her heart, beating rythmically in her chest, strong and steady. Everything felt so intense then the world exploded in a cacophany of colors, sounds, smells and scents.

It felt she was falling head first down a hole, with no end in sight. Surrounding her were bubbles, pink and green bubbles. She laughed softly to herself as the sound seemed to reverberate in his head. Upon closer inspection there were images inside the bubbles, shades from her past that she remembered.

Floating into one, she saw her family, her mother, her father, all her siblings, surrounding her with warmth and love.

 

[Riamah]

Hearing her heart beating its steady rhythm in her chest, Ailuros focused on just that for a few moments. After that her senses seemed to get stronger and in her mind flashed colors and sounds. Her sense of smell also appeared to be affected and different smells and scents came to her nose.

Suddenly it felt like her world had been turned upside down and she was falling headfirst down a hole which turned into an endless tunnel. Floating around her were what looked like bubbles. Images appeared in them and she smiled...or at least she thought she did.

Reaching out to the sphere that held the image of her family, she looked on at her parents, older brother and felt the love from them.

There were so many other images involved in the bubbles around her, but this one she held onto if it didn't pop in her hand.

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

As [member="Ailuros"] closed in on the memory, Daxton could see her reaching out in real time as her body responded to the minds command. So far the subject was doing well thirty minutes into the procedure. Droids and medical personnel worked around him to make sure they were monitoring the patients vitals for any unusual spikes or activity.

Back in the memory dream, Ailuros began to relive the memory of her family. This was the time of her life were she experienced the most emotional love in her life. The feeling was overwhelmingly addicting if she was not careful she would be lost in this memory and never wish to leave...

 

[Riamah]

The memory was of her as a child, first learning how to play music and dance. Her faulty tempo and clumsy steps brought good natured smile and humor to her family. They set her upright again and started playing the music over and she danced. Eventually while still a little clumsy, Ailuros got the moves of the dance down and it turned a little more graceful.

Turning away from that memory though, it was in the past. To be able to relive it again felt wonderful, but that wasn't where or who she was now. Letting go of the bubble, she reached out for another one.

She was older. About the age of thirteen, she saw herself walking aboard an airship that was in rather poor repair. The Kiree fighter that had been her first solo flight. It had ended in horror.

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

As [member="Ailuros"] watched herself dance, her hyper sensitive awareness picked up nuances she just now observed. The fleeting shared look in her parents eyes, the way her elder siblings laughter seemed disturbingly more hollow as if hiding a darker purpose. She shuddered as her mind began to capture and feel the whispers of their unspoken thoughts.

Her father was worried she would have two left feet, a potential embarrasment to himself and the family. Her mother was happy she was pretty enough that her seemingly lack of skills could be overlooked, after all as she knew first hand there were other ways to occupy her husbands attention. Her siblings laughed at her mistakes, calling her hurtful things like runt of the litter, all the while hidding it behind false smiles and empty encouragements. The sad truth was they hoped she would fail so that their places were secure, in their hearts they hoped she would fail and fall on some unknown world, so that they could shed crocodile tears and mourn like dutiful elder brothers for all to see.

The first wave of nausea hit, feeling as if it wrenched the contents of her stomach through mouth. Dry heaving, she clutches her stomach as the pain slowly subsides.

It was with a growing sense of dread that she approached her next memory. Knowing how it turned out she knew this one was going to hurt......a lot.

 

[Riamah]

It was too late to turn back now and Ailuros was drawn into the memory of her first solo flight. Everything had gone off without a hitch or problem until she brought it back into the atmosphere. At that point, things got rough.

That pain returned to her stomach and her pulse rose. She could no longer sense her own body very well, but her stomach. The memory, the panic she felt then returned and try as she might, that single feeling reached out to her.

It wrapped itself around her and would not let go. Writhing in pain and terror, the cat did not know what happening to her body.

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

While it may seem like mere moments between the memories in reality [member="Ailuros"] had been the dream state for a little over an hour now. Everything seemed be going fine, when the system started picking up increased activities in her vitals, causing the medical staff and droids to double check to see what was going on.

Her first flight was glorious, leaving her in wonder as she soared through space and performed the drills for mission. She remembered looking up through the cockpit glass at the millions of stars that surrounded her world, and promised silently to herself that she would one day visit those systems.

Problems began to pop up once she entered the atmosphere. First the sensors began blinking wildly before cutting out all together. Then the engine simply gave up the ghost putting her into steep dive. She remembered trying to restart the engine as she desperately tried to pull put from the dive. The flight stick shuddered violently, fighting her every step of the way but she did reduce the angle of her descent. The only problem was she was still losing altitude, and losing it fast.

Someone was screaming in her ear, demanding she explan was going on. She could barely swallow, let alone speak as she saw the rapidly approaching ground. Fear gripped her heart as she let go of the stick, and yanked the ejection module. Grunting painfully as the shoulder harness cut into her flesh, she remembered floating slowly to safety as her ship impacted on the ground with so much force it flipped several times before the fuel tanks erupted into a fireball.

She nearly got kicked out of flight school for that, had her father not worked behind the scenes to smooth some bruised egos. The rest of the crew never let her forget, assigning her the painful callsign Bailout whenever they could.

Staring at the memory it dawned on her that perhaps it wasn’t purely her fault that she crashed. She could see disbelief in the eyes of the class bully that she survived. He was annoyed that he wasn’t being treated like a star and the fact that a girl was the one beating him. So upon finding out which craft was assigned to her, during the night he broke into the hangar and made sure the engine would cut out as soon as it entered the atmosphere.

Her heart began to work harder, as she contemplated what he did to her. Perhaps when all was said and done she would go balance the scales for what they tried to her.

Finally it was time to leave this memory and move to the next one.

 

[Riamah]

The cat was not a vengeful creature normally, but knowing her accident wasn't one made her want to lash out at her classmate. That was years ago though, he had since made himself a family and stayed home. Ailuros on the other hand hadn't.

Her next memory was a more recent one. In fact I was the last memory she had with her people. After the return of her crew from a mission within the Trian sector for some shore leave. Her commander had called her to his office. He ordered her to go off and explore the galaxy as a whole and send reports back to them every few months or as often as she could.

Nor Ailuros felt honored to be picked for this mission, but she felt numb too. She wouldn't see her family again unless she returned home. This wasn't something likely to happen. Only being given the weekend to say her farewells to her friends, family and pack up her belongings, she rushed home.

Her parents were there, but her brothers were with their own families. The young cat felt alone already and that would only get worse.

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

Her reasoning battled with her emotions, part of [member="Ailuros"] understood what he did and how they had moved on, part of her wanted him to pay for nearly getting her killed. It was an emotional rollercoaster that left numb on the inside and vulnerable for the next memory.

Explore the galaxy they said, it was a great honor to be chosen. In her innocence she actually believed it to be true. But she saw the truth now in a whole new perspective. If it was so great an honor why was she the only one to be choosen for the task? Wouldn’t it make sense to send several agents offworld to gather information? No, the truth was they filled her head with all sorts of dreams and promises so that they could be rid of her and wash their hands clean. Her parents even went ro make sure she left, with little to almost no chance of seeing them ever again.

Misery gripped her soul as all she wanted to was curl up in a ball and just die. The lights slowly dimmed until they were gone completely and everything drenched in shadows, the dark inferno of her soul.

It has now been eight hours since she had gone under. The medical personel had just recently changed shifts, while Daxton stood still by jer side. Panic filled the medical lab as her vitals activity began to spike wildly before coming to an abrupt crashing halt. As they tried to revitalize her. Finally after a minute, Daxton stepped in, grabbed a large syringe filled with adrenaline and stabbed it directly into her heart.

Color suddenly filled Ailuros vision as she saw lights coming from the stars and voice calling out her name.

 

[Riamah]

The feeling of her people pushing her away and almost was felt like them rejecting her was horrible. What had she done to fail them? That sense of misery filled her and being separate from the loving embrace of her family and people, she also felt numb. Just wanting to curl up into a ball and die, the lights of vision started to fade around her.

Next thing Ailuros knew was a sharp pain in her chest and felt the arms of Daxton around her to keep her from falling to the floor.

Her claws had come out on their own and were digging into the palms of her hands. Opening her eyes and looking around, she wondered if it was Daxton that had been calling her name.

She quickly made a mental assessment of her body and found it unharmed. Other than the cuts on her palms from her claws, she was fine. There was something different though, Ailuros felt a connection to she didn't know what. It was both external to her and internal. Another thing she didn't know was if she could stand without the assistance of Daxton just yet.

Glancing around, she noticed the techs around the room appeared to be upset and the fact he was holding her, told Ailuros something had gone wrong.

"What happened?"

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

To answer her question, Daxton smiled at @Ailuros. There was no malice, no ill intent in the smile. Only amusement as if she said the funniest thing in the entire galaxy.

“Close your eyes my dear. You have successfully awoke. Listen to the Force. Can you sense it?” He was right, of course, wahile she was still the same physically, there was something else slowly carressing her consciousness. While she could directly tap it just yet, the mere presence of it meant the operation was a success.

“It has nearly been 24 hours since we have begun. Your body will feel weak for awhile, as it catches up to the journey your mind just took. For awhile we were worried, you seemed distressed but we could no nothing least you be trapped in the memories. I will have the medical team replace your electrolites which should help you recover faster.”

“Once you are up to it, I can teach you how to use your new abilities if you would like.”

 

[Riamah]

Doing as Daxton requested, Ailuros closed her eyes. He told her to listen to the Force and she twitched her ears to try and listen to it.

"I hear nothing, but yes I feel something inside and around me. Not just you keeping me standing up either."

In saying she would be weak for a bit, the cat understood. Her eating habits were a little different than that of a human and she ate more often. Smaller helpings, but more often and always had to have meat. He wasn't human though and she didn't know what his habits were.

As if on cue, her stomach growled and her whiskers drooped a little. Coughing a bit weakly, she hadn't cleaned herself properly for at least the last day and there wasn't any hairball for her to cough up.

"Yes, I think it would be wise to learn how to use what I feel."

[member="Daxton Bane"]

 

[Daxton Bane]

“The droids will show you to your room, so that you can rest and refresh yourself. A selection of clothes will be made available, if none are to your likig, you can select from the catalog on your holocomputer. Fear not for your ship it is being moved to the hangar as we speak and let me assure you that no one touched or opened it while you are in our care.”

“Once you have had time to relax, send me a message and we can meet in the garden so I can explain to you some additional details. Is that acceptable, [member="Ailuros"]?”