Distance

[Danger Arceneau]

"Alive." She said dryly, her accent a thicker drawl from her slumber. It normally became more pronounced when she was exhausted or upset.

"Well enough, I s'posse." Her chest rose as she took a deep breath, the bindings stretching taunt over her ribs. Thankfully there had been no broken ribs, but there had been bruising. By now with all the medical care, would be healing faster than normal. With a gush of air expelled from her mouth, Danger gave a sigh. Her tongue went to work across the slickness of her teeth; yeah she needed to brush them. A hand rose then ran through her tangled mess of hair, fingers sweeping the tendrils off her face.

She felt like something a Nexu shat out after a full meal.

Over all, she was relatively quiet. Was it due to her injuries or because of something else, it was hard to say.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Alric rose from the chair he was sitting in. He stretched slightly, though not noticeably. A crack rang out as his back shifted into place, causing the old Tetan stiffen slightly as it did. For a moment he stalled there, lingering by the chair until he carefully made his way over to the bed.

He remembered that bed.

It was odd how things hadn't changed all that much since the last time he was here. His head shook slightly as he pushed away the memories, moving to the side of the bed and gently sitting himself down only a few inches away from Danger. A hand went up and through his hair, almost mimicking the motion she had taken a few seconds ago. Fingers tore apart knotted locks, causing him to wince slightly as pain prickled at his scalp.

His hands came to rest at his side, his eyes wandering over her as the moonlight illuminated her slightly.

She still looked beautiful, even with the bruises that lined her skin and the tangles in her hair. His eyes fell on those large pruple and blue splotches, concern dotting his feature. Alric smiled at her, though he didn't say anything else.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

Danger felt the bed sink, dipping under Alric's weight. It caught her attention, her good hand falling from her hair to her side. The broken fingers of her right were healing, but still tender, a side-effect that would last likely another day or so. Bone could mend, just took time. However, the state of her bones didn't flare at her mind just then. She could feel the weight of the Tetan's gaze, even despite the low light that would give a measure of inconspicuousness.

He was more than a silhouette now; she could see the harsh planes and angles of his face, the fine crinkles at the corners of his eyes. Age had set in on Alric Kuhn, but with it came every weathered scar and line. Some hide by the thickeness of his beard, others, like the few he received during his time as an underground pugilist, not so much.

"I'm fine." She said, as if attempting to reassure him again. However, she wasn't sure if that was more for her than for the former Titan. Having him this close brought flashbacks on how she got here. The cave. The bandits. The bloody wake that came after.

Some things were still too crazy to register, but undeniably true.

Alric had been the one to save her.

"Thank you," she finally said a moment later, licking her dry lips to add, "For gettin' me."

 

[Alric Kuhn]

He wanted to reach out and hold her hand. He wanted to reach out and hold her.

But he didn't.

Instead he spoke, instead his lips thinned and his eyes cast down. Perhaps there was a slight amount of shame in him, perhaps there was a slight amount of guilt. Before that cave he had never killed anyone before. He had ordered deaths, he had seen them, but he had never killed anyone before. To most men that would hit them hard, was that why the Tetan looked like he did? Was that why he looked away. For a moment more Alric looked at the floor, then he turned to Danger.

"I will always come for you." His voice was steady, calm, serious.

He would. It didn't matter how far away he was, where he was, what he was doing. He would always come for Danger if she needed him. Just like he would always be there for his daughters, just like he would always be there for those he cared about. "Always."

 

[Danger Arceneau]

Why did he have to say that?

It did things to her. Things that she rather not consider. Things she rather not remember. Things that would flare up the voices in her head that said, most men make promises they cannot or do not plan to keep.

She gave him a weak smile, and gave thanks for the shadows of the dark.

Being around Alric has always made her fire on all pistons. Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most . Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into the Nine hells, just to keep getting your fix.

She didn't want to go through that again.

There was something in his eyes though. Something that caught her attention before he turned away. Maybe it was the shadows that played across his face, or something else. But it prompted her to say,"How you doin'?"

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

Was now the time?

He looked at her. Sure the death of those men bothered him, sure the guilt wracked him, but that wasn't what was on his mind. It was those notebooks. It was what he had written, what he had found out. He smiled weakly at Danger, reflecting her own expression back towards her. The Former Titan looked at her, then shook his head slightly.

"I'm fine." He said quietly. "Never killed anyone before."

He had killed six. It wasn't what really bothered him, but it was the best thing that he could think of. Those Bandits had deserved their fate. They had likely planned to hold Danger hostage and ransom her, or worse. There was no remorse in that, but there was a bit of shock. Danger would get that, she would understand.

Now wasn't the time for the other thing.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

[member="Alric Kuhn"]

There was something about the dark that made it easier to spill what came to the mind. Then again, the entire time she'd known Alric, he’d say what he needed to say in his own good time. Danger never pressed, she knew how it was to have things held close until one was good and ready.

Leaning back against the plush of her pillows, Danger sank into its comfort, a small ache running down her body at the movement, but still tolerable. She’d have to push past it soon to get her muscles used to mobility again, and this wasn’t the first time she’d been bedridden due to accident or deliberate harm. Stubborn is as stubborn was, and she didn’t have the luxury of taking time to spend it awasting.

Hearing him say that this was the first time he’d ever taken a life was a startling revelation. Being born and raised on Tatooine, life and death was an expected daily reminder about our own mortality -- and the chance encounters that could end in fight or flight with only one man standing.

It was just startling to hear him say his first experience at taking someone’s life had only just occurred.

“Feels a bit numb, I reckon.” Danger finally said, “After that is. Drunk on adrenaline, you don’t think. Just act.” one could hear her take a slow steady intake of breath, and her head went tipping back to rest against the bulkhead. Her eyes fell shut, and while it was due in part to feeling strung out, it was also a barrier put in place. Even in the dark, with him so close, his presence was stifling.

“Don’t let it linger. It will pass. We all have to do what we need to do to survive.”

In more ways than one.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

The advice was something Alric already knew, and was something that he was actively looking forward to. Eventually the shock would wear off, eventually it would dissipate and life would continue. He would have to ask Kiran exactly how he dealt with it, how he did it, though he could already feel his apathy towards the men that he had dispatched.

Perhaps that was callous, perhaps that was cruel, but Alric had never cared much for scum.

His eyes cast towards Danger, watching her as she leaned back.

Slowly the former Titan's hand curled into a fist, his palm pressing into itself as he tried to think, tried to consider. His lips thinned and he watched as he breaths slowly forced her chest to raise in shallow motions. Briefly he thought about what he had done, what could have happened had he been a second late, what he could have lost. His knuckles turned white, and finally he reached out.

Alric placed his hand over Danger's, very gently stroking across her skin with his thumb.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

[member="Alric Kuhn"]

The warmth of his hand would cover her own, but where Alric wouldn’t even think anything at reaching out to touch her, there was a subtle hesitation in the lightness of the touch. Her lids slid open, parting to reveal the Tetan studying her with an intense stare. No, not a stare, more the expression of a man who was in conflict with himself.

How strange.

Her brows knitted in mild confusion, in turn studying Alric’s angular face, how his forehead creased, the disheveled hair in the glint of the ambient light. A woman’s intuition always gives that slight coil of awareness at the base of the belly that can discern when things seem out of sorts. And while she was sure that Alric, in his own way, was concerned over her well being and likely mind pressed with the events that had happened, it felt as if there was something more to it than just that.

Her frown deepened, and had the light been any brighter, it would have illuminated the slight arch of her brow in query.

“What?” she’d half joke, attempting to smooth the lines of his brow with humor. “ I can tell you that shiner looks worse than it feels.”

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

He frowned slightly, the shook his head. Alric was concerned about her injuries, but it wasn't that he was concerned about. Something else plagued his mind, something that pressed further and further to the forefront of her thoughts the more he looked at her. Was it guilt? Was it guilt that consumed him? The frown further creased his lips, and he gave her hand a very gentle squeeze.

"I'll be right back." His words were soft, his tone gentle.

With one swift move Alric stood from the bed and walked out of the room. It didn't take him long to wind his way down the halls of the stronghold to the elevator. It took him even less time to reach the bottom of the fortress and find the warehouse. There he slowly picked up the notebooks, all sixteen of them were plucked from his desk or the floor, neatly gathered and organized.

He stacked them within his arms, and soon he had returned to Dangers bedroom. He held all sixteen notebooks, walking into the room and over towards Danger. He dumped them all beside her, the stack slipping slightly and falling over to spread out over the side of the bed.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

Danger gave a slight startled shift away from the stack of notebooks, her confusion at his sudden and quiet departure turning into full blown bewilderment. She felt the slide of filmsi over the thin bedsheet, a few corners plopping along her calf and by her hip.

"What are you doing?" She asked with a perplexed sound in her voice, becoming more alert by the second as he stood there beside the bed, staring down at her and the pile of notebooks. A nerve in his jaw flexed. And one would wonder just what went on within those hooded eyes. The dim light barely illuminated the strong, familiar scrawl overa few pages that had unfurled, revealing double sided, and slightly smudged strokes of pen.

"What is this?" One hand would lift the closest one, sliding it over to her as her eyes would lightly squint to make sense of the aurabesh sigils etched over the fragile surface.

It was starting to feel as if there was more to the story than simply being upset over staining ones hands red with blood.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

"This." Alric said, watching as she turned page after page. "Is every single conversation you and I have ever had."

Alric had what was known as an Eidetic memory. More commonly this was referred to as a photographic memory. This did not mean that Alric was a genius, nor did it mean that he was necessarily gifted in any area of science or engineering. What it did mean was that his mind had an incredible method of retention, and that method was to retain quite literally everything he ever saw, heard, or even tasted. This was a 'gift' that Danger had long known about, but likely had never thought about the scope of.

The Tetan remembered everything. Everything.

"In all of them. Every single one of them. You never once mention your thoughts, your side of things, your feelings." His face was neutral, his one was neither accusatory nor antagonistic, he was simply stating a fact. He looked at Danger, a small hint of something in his eye. When she read the notebook, she would see the truth of his words. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of pages, each one filled with dialogue and each one neatly labeled with a date and a time.

It was perhaps insane, but it was also completely factual.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

[member="Alric Kuhn"]

The notebook fell from her grasp as if it had burned her hand.

It hit the bedsheet with a slight thud, corner striking before flopping over, pages rustling until it lay open, the dark scrawling words a brazen and perhaps, rather violating testimony. Danger immediately had her hackles up, her head shooting up to stare at him with a growing scowl.

“Did the heat finally get to you or were you just too bored you needed to do something to pass the time?” annoyance coloured her vocabulary, it stiffened her spine, and even in the shadows and dim light that danced over Danger, made it obvious for Alric that she wasn’t happy at the fact he’d summed up their friendship in the span of sixteen notebooks.

Or more aptly, that he had struck aurodium at the keen observation she had delicately kept up for years.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

The deflection didn't stop him.

"Why?" Again he didn't sound accusing, but there was a strength to his tone, an insistence. "Why? Danger?"

Was it so hard to talk about her feelings? Was there something she was trying to hide from him? That was what played through his mind, that was what pushed him. There was guilt that he had never noticed, but beneath that there was something else, there was hurt, there was anguish, there was a stinging pain that perhaps Danger had not trusted him as much as he had trusted her, that perhaps she had always kept her distance because she couldn't, or wouldn't get close to him.

He had betrayed her, but right now, he felt as though he had been betrayed.

The two of them had been through so much, had experienced so many things together, and to realize this...it was a blow.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

[member="Alric Kuhn"]

Danger’s lips would purse into a straight line, thinning at the insistent questions he attempted to have her answer. Her heart quickened its pace, and she could have swear that he’d be able to hear it. No, she did not want to talk about this. Really? After all this time? He wanted to talk about this now?

“You’re lookin’ far too much into the subject,” she attempted to convince him, but by now her hands had sought the fabric of her bedsheet, fingers curling it tightly between her fists. She didn’t even register the protest of her broken fingers, attempting to again, try and deflect and redirect the conversation. It had worked every single time before, it would again.

“I’ve told you things you know damn well none other know,” she’d utter out hotly, and that he would so seemingly force her to admit that was a strain, her jaw tensing only to relax and flex again. He’d know exactly what she meant too; in the wake of their loss of Fiona there was plenty Alric Kuhn had learned about Dangeruese Rose Arceneau.

Things she’d rather take to her grave than let any other living thing know.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

Most probably would have missed it. That slight shift in her voice, the tightening features on her face, the grip of her hands on the sheets. Some would have taken that as a sign of her simply being on the defensive, but Alric knew better. Danger and He were close, and yes she had once told him many things. Those weeks, that month where they had suffered. He remembered that, he remembered all too well.

Yet that was the last time, the only time.

"No." Alric said quietly. "I mean after. I mean before. You know exactly what I mean, Danger."

There was no question in his mind, nothing that she could say to convince him otherwise. Alric had found a fact, as true as any proven scientific theory. The Former Titan looked at his friend, suspicion and no little amount of hurt within his eyes. "Why?"

 

[Danger Arceneau]

"And you're wrong -- Reckon there has been plenty of times where I've made my desires well known," on this bed to be exact. At Titan Station. At the Opera House. At any venue they had so happened to rendezvous for their little tête-à-tête. Their interactions in the past had been passionate, wild, and prone to their games. Of control. Of power intended to push the other. Brazen in private, but never in public.

He had set his boundaries. So had she. Neither realized that as the months passed, as the years waned, they became closer that mere lovers. It had gone beyond that, to actual affection and care. To a genuine desire for the others well being. To being best friends. It was a precious gift Danger had been unwilling to lose, a fragile balance that upon the revelation of what she had truly felt for the Tetan, she knew well had to remain hidden. Stick to the role that would ensure she could keep her distance, and only ever admit that she loved him when he wasn't listening.

He had been the one to cancel their appointments. To change things. To avoid her until she finally found out why on Corellia. And then, upon the discovery he was in love with another... encouraged him to go.

There were sacrifices she was willing to make.

Losing his friendship, his presence in her life, with her past experiences on how relationships could turn sour was something she wasn't, and could not sacrifice.

So now she was trying to redirect again, this time, reminding him that she had been clear on her pleasure as he to her.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

His hands dipped into his face.

"Force!" Alric yelled the word. "I'm not talking about sex!"

Oh yes, they had made each others desires known. When one of them had wanted the other they had shown up, they had always talked adn had always followed through. The two of them had communicated well that way, but it wasn't what Alric was talking about, and Danger knew that well enough, she was avoiding the question bouncing around it like a rubber ball.

In half a huff Alric sat himself down on the bed besides her. His arm swooped out and he practically threw the notebooks on the floor. A few of them remained on the bed, though they were all scattered now, some revealing bright and well defined writing while others held that smudged scrawl. He wanted to grab the woman and shake her, but he knew that would likely cause her immense pain. "Don't act stupid! You know exactly what I mean!"

There was no more calm and even tone, emotion flared up inside of him.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

Alric didn't yell. That yelling was a veritable cornucopia of emotion for the Tetan. There was an intense tension in his body, A muscle in his jaw worked. Light glanced off the sharp planes of the angles of his face, merging his bones together into a fierce, relentless mask. But beyond that, beyond that anger, lay wound that grew larger with every passing second. With every one of Danger's denials and redirects.

But like always, in a method only he could fan the pyre, her anger flared white hot. She was tired. She didn't want to talk about this. She was over it. Almost twenty years of trying to get over it. To forget. To leave be. Why did he have to bring it up now? What did it matter?! Really, why was he so upset about this when he was the one who only showed up when everything else was gone.

It made her blood boil, it made her angry. A hot wave went rushing to her face, and finally, she snapped, "What does it matter now, Alric?!" she matched his tone, exclaiming out at him.

"Why can't you just leave it be?! It didn't matter to you then and it doesn't matter now!"

 

[Alric Kuhn]

He responded in an instant, without thinking, without hesitation.

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW!"

The words seemed to echo through the room, the fortress fortress. They rang in his ears, and sounded throughout him.