Distance

[Danger Arceneau]

She was trembling in the sea of her emotions. At his explosion, she didn't draw back. She didn't flinch. There was no other action other than the boring of her glittering green eyes on Alric.

Because she knew. She knew he didn't know. For all of his intellect and eidetic memory, he had been oblivious.

Her next words were tightly spoken and low, a stark contrast to the blast that had come from the former Titan.

"And you were happy in your oblivion."

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

He stopped.

Alric's entire body seemed to slump, his face drooped, the anger fell away, everything about him seemed to shift and change. Within a moments passing Alric went from aggressor to something else entirely. His eyes fell away from Danger's for a moment, his gaze shifted to look at his own hands, then to the notebooks. He wondered, thought, remembered all of the time that had passed, what had happened and what hadn't.

His eyes moved back up to match Danger's.

What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to respond to that? His lips parted, his words caught in this throat. His eyes closed for a second and then opened again to match with the same intensity that Danger gave him. There was a lot of things on his mind, a lot of things that he wanted to say to her, that he wanted to go back and say.

But there was only one thing that he could say now. "Did you ever think I might have been happier in yours?"

 

[Danger Arceneau]

It was his poignant stare, the way that he wore his emotions in his eyes, that told everything. No lie, no facade, no mask other than what truly lay therein. Alric Kuhn lived his affections as he did with his life, wholeheartedly, perhaps, naively so. There was no holding back once he had made up his mind, once he had come to a conclusion.

If Alric Kuhn felt hate, it radiated from his eyes, seeped from his pores. If Alric Kuhn was in love, it pumped through his veins, was in every action, every thought. It consumed his very soul. Being loved by Alric Kuhn was an experience that would reflect an utterly devoted individual.

And if Alric Kuhn set you to the role of a best friend, one caught the affection that would never shift into anything more, then it was like feeling the warmth of the sun but from under the muted shadow of the shade. And for Danger, for one who had no family, no other friends up until then, no true attachments, she found herself clinging fast for fear it would disappear.

Her jaw worked, and her throat felt knotted, tongue thick as if she couldn't talk.

The fine trembling had grown worse, so much that she had to keep her hands fisted together to halt the shake. The crash of emotions made her eyes shimmer for a moment.

She shut her eyes, and a pained expression went drifting over her bruised face.

Had she? How many times had she considered the options. The risks. The loss. Neither of them would have survived it.

"Alric... please... let it go." it was clear his probing was getting to her, chipping away at the brick and mortar that she had built around herself for so long. She was just tired, old. And you can't re live the past.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

[member="Danger Arceneau"]

There was a hurt in him, a deep hurt that had been carved there decades ago. He hadn't noticed it until now, he hadn't even known it existed, yet there it was. An aching, painful throb that bit at him just as Danger finished speaking. She closed her eyes, looked away from him, casting her glance towards somewhere else as if it would deny that he was ever there.

His breath caught in his chest, his head began to spin.

A hand went to his head, racking through his hair and pulling apart what it could. It fell to his face, wiping away tears and sweat, rubbing off what he could and pinching the bridge of his nose. His head shook, his body began to tremble. "No. No."

Alric sounded pained, hurt.

There was something that clung to them both, nostalgia? Echoes of the past? Hurt that they had inflicted upon each other? Everything made a little more sense now, everything seemed to click into place. Had he karked it all up? Had it been his fault? Had it been Dangers? There was no regret for his actions, there was no longing for another life, there was only a glimpse into what could have been, what could have happened. Alric would never regret the choices he had made, he loved his daughters with all his heart. Yet here was a look into something else.

Something that could have been.

Slowly Alric rose from the bed, he stood, his hand falling away from his face. There was a thrum in his voice, as if he was trying to clear his throat. He looked around for a moment, his body still trembling. "No."

The word repeated again.

Then as always, Alric did the unexpected. He leaned forward, gently brushing at the matted mess of Danger's hair, pulling red away if only to ensure no cut or bruise was there, and then he softly kissed Danger's head.

"I don't think I can." Those were the last words he said before he left.

 

[Danger Arceneau]

Danger felt the press of his lips upon her head, the low tenor of his voice. His parting denial. Lids slid open, catching the the movement of the former Titan depart. He had torn through her defenses that night, shattering the mask, revealing the cracks therein. So for the briefest moment, as she looked at Alric's departing figure, one would see unabashed, vulnerable longing in her eyes.

One would see the hurt. The pride. The desire that had never stopped eating her.

One would see love.

Danger loved Alric Kuhn. It had grown once, long ago, beyond the love of a friend. The love of family. She loved him.

She had attempted to forget that love, but found that it was still there, deep inside, burning dim as an ember...

But loving something like Alric was a pain the 'verse did not envy -- nor a risk Danger was willing to make.