Don't Think; Feel.

[Connor Harrison]

Connor thought. This was a welcome request, one that he favoured with those he encountered; to ask, rather than just be led. His fingers moved down to stroke his chin gently.

”There are a couple of things I can think of, without planning, but may I ask – what do you know of me within the Order. Your background knowledge to the one you now learn from. And, be honest, no right or wrong, no less or more sort of answers.”

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

“I wish, I could tell you, that I knew a lot about you. Truthfully however, what I’ve heard is mostly rumor and conjecture. Whispers of a fall toward darkness.” he explained. He looked at Connor thoughtfully. Dagos did not know how much was true, if any, but a small part of him hoped it were. Not that he wished any ill will toward Connor, no quite the opposite. Dagos very much like learning from Master Ru, her methods were not only instructional, but interesting as well, but if he were to be honest, Dagos at times did not feel like a very good Jedi. he found him self plagued with guilt, self doubt and overconfidence in equal measure, all could lead him down a dark path. To learn from a man who has traveled down that path and seen himself return, would be an experience that he would truly love to take advantage of.

 

[Connor Harrison]

His face didn’t give much away, but Connor assumed that he would have heard whispers. Jedi or not, gossip was a fever that would spread amongst anyone – it was natural and what fuelled society. Now Connor was subject to that fever, however it could hardly be protested at since he nearly brought down the entire Order with deception and aggressive behaviour.

”Oh, no it’s true. I physically and mentally abused a Padawan, I attacked a Master and was locked in a duel, I tried to seduce the Grandmaster for my own gain and I played people off against each other with lies and manipulation.”

Connor raised his eyebrows in an excitable fashion. He reached out and hit the Padawan on the arm gently in a reassuring fashion.

”Ah, let’s not forget the Sith Magic I have embedded in my brain stem after fighting a Sith Lord and these little reminders of that battle.”

As he spoke, Connor pulled up the right side of his vest to show Dagos the alien-esque hollows up his side from where numerous rocks had embedded into him from a high-impact fall on the ground.

”Feeling nervous now, aren’t you?”

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Dagos did a feel a bit uneasy after Connor’s story, but not enough to want to leave or discontinue learning from him, in fact hearing he faced a Sith lord and survived reaffirmed Dagos’ desire to learn more from Connor.

“If, the order trusts you, Connor, I trust you.” said Dagos trying his best to sound confident, while at the same time doing his best not to stare at the marks on Connor’s body. He had the feeling however, he wasn’t doing a very good job of either.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor had seen the look before in others, so it didn’t faze him with what he saw in Dagos. Pulling back down his training vest and smoothing back his hair, he gave the Padawan a knowing smile.

”Don’t worry about it. It’s been a rocky path walked and yes, I don’t always play by the rules – neither does the enemy though. My resolve is strong, my allegiance is true and my aims are clear. As long as yours are, you will be ok.”

Spinning the training saber hilt in his hand, he ignited it and started to swing it low, left and right, around Dago’s feet.

”Focus on the here and now, remember, don’t get distracted in your thoughts.”

He brought up the blade and let it point down to the stone.

”Attack me with all you got – use the Force to either enhance your power or control your body, and just come at me. NOT with rage. I will be able to feel if you are. I want to feel peace from you as you do this. Trust me – if you manage to do it you’ll know what I mean.”

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Dagos nodded at Connor before igniting his own training saber. He steeled himself and began to advance foreword, his heart and his mind as still as he could make them. As he attempted to fight without anger he was also limiting himself in other ways
his attacks were measured, perhaps even a little too much so as he prodded for an opening while at the same instance of trying to not leave an opening of his own.
A classic case of a young fighter being too cautious.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor stood rigid, moving only his feet to the side, and back, and forward, deflecting the attacks from Dagos like some choreographed holo-vid routine. He shook his head and held up his hand.

”Ok, stop. You’re thinking too hard about what I said, and your fluidity is suffering because of it. If you find peace in yourself, the Force will find its way through you easier so you won’t be blocking it out trying to think about where to strike, how to move and what to feel.”

With his blade, Connor held the hilt in both hands and levelled it diagonally across his body.

”Try again, and this time imagine that I am a Sith Lord wanting to feed off your emotion – if you give me an inch, I’ll take it and break you. If you don’t, you will push me back and feel confidence and pride within you.”

Leaning forward slightly, Connor narrowed his eyes.

”And remember, I’ve experienced the Sith inside my head so I know what it feels like to be broken.”

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

With a still mind and a calm heart, Dagos pressed his attack foreword, not giving an inch mentally or physically. He let the force flow through him and guide him toward a victory won from peace. He felt almost like a different person, he was no longer fighting to keep his anger at bay, for he felt none. He was no longer over cautious as he had no fear. The force stood at his side and as such he could not lose. He danced and slashed at Connor, using what little skill he had and the force as the puppeteer of those skills to try and put the far more experienced and far more talented JedI on the defensive.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Dagos moved in a precise and at time very confident manner, never hesitating after each strike and seeming to counter the next by Connor.

”That’s it – let the blade act as an extension of your body; and the Force an extension of your blade.”

Connor was gently moved back as much as pushing forward, pulling back to avoid a torso strike and ducking to avoid a strike to the head, which would have hurt.

”Footing – don’t sacrifice footing for a strong strike! Each is equally important – secure footing with a soft but precise hit is greater than a heavy strike and bad footing.”

Dagos seemed to be switched off emotionally, which was good – his face a picture of calm and focus. Connor blocked and pressed forward, landing a few soft hits and also receiving them.

”Good work Dagos.”

Holding his hand up to stop, Connor stepped back and inclined his head. He killed the training blade.

”One more thing – the Force can be a powerful weapon itself. I know we don’t see the Force as a weapon, but the Sith won’t play fair when trying to kill you. So we can’t fight fair. That’s what makes Silver Jedi…different, I guess. Let’s see how you can use the Force to get inside my head – try planting a vision there to distract me and drive me insane. Of anything; you, the temple, a Ronto; anything. I won’t block you. Do your best.”

He killed the training blade.

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Dagos felt a twinge of nervousness at the idea of trying to plant false images in Connor’s mind. Not only had he never tried anything remotely as complicated, it seemed like that would be treading very close to the dark side and Dagos was not entirely confident he would be able to walk the line. No-that line of thinking would not do. He had the light side as his guide and as his shield. He had more strength than he gave himself credit for, and if he did not, Connor was here.

Dagos looked hard at Connor, focusing his pale blue eyes on Connors’s hard set, war weary brown ones. He pointed his attention toward breaking through whatever guard Connor may have put up, doing the best he could to probe through Connor’s mind and find a soft spot. He found this to be much easier than anticipated. His skill with the force had always come naturally since his youth and this was no different. He took it slow, not knowing what kind of mental safeguards Connor would have, or truly what he was doing all the way.

Going as far into Connor’s mind as he dared, picking at wounds fresh in the mind. Dagos saw flashes of a battle. He could hear the hum of light sabers clashing. He could feel the pull of the dark side, it reached through time, climbing past memory and pulled at his very being. His own hubris had drawn him here and was now dragging him further out to sea threatening to drown him. He steeled himself, clinging to the knowledge that what he felt was not real nor meant for him, like a life preserver. It was only the memory of an attack by a Sith lord, yet it still burned at Dagos from the inside out.

For the briefest of moments, he thought of giving in, of giving himself over to the anger and despair, before he remembered his purpose. The light stood with him and it gave him strength. His focus was back, his purpose was strong and he now stood to complete his mission. He looked past, the feeling of dread and foreboding of the dark side and found it’s source, the Sith that poisoned Connor’s mind. He focused on her image and tried as hard as he could to pull it to the front of Connor’s mind, to force him to see her once again.

After attempting to place the image in Connor’s mind he drew his consciousness back to his own body, gasping and falling to his knees as he did so. It was like coming back up for air.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor stood and looked at Dagos, nodding gently to support him, as it was evident he was exerting himself to conjure the Force to make a vision. And doing it against a Master was a difficult task, never mind for a Padawan under pressure of training.

Inside his head, the feeling of the Force waved over his mind, like a dull ache around his head. A small smile cracked on his lips, as it was clear the wounds were crying out to be pulled apart. While there was no immediate vision, Connor felt flashes of battle, of danger and conflict – but it wasn’t all from his own mind.

Not wanting to speak, he looked down and let the growing noise build in his head, forcing his eyes to close as it became louder and more desperate – blades clashing, shouting and bubbling liquid. The silhouette of the Sith Lord flashed in his mind’s eye, and the distorted face of Matsu Xiangu was glaring at him with sickening amber eyes –

A gasp pulled the vision as quickly as it came; Connor opened his eyes to see Dagos on his knees.

”Good job, Padawan.”

The exhaustion was evident, but there was nothing he didn’t expect. Moving forward, Connor exhaled and reached down to pull Dagos up with his arm gently, patting him on the shoulders with both hands to get his attention.

”You know what I’m more pleased with? That you didn’t just pluck anything from your imagination to try and scare me with cheap tricks – you went inside my mind, and you pulled open a wound to expose me to something that will always scare the hardest of warriors; the truth in their failings.”

Connor patted him again and stood back.

”You found the thing that haunts me, and you pulled it right to the front of my mind You do that to an opponent in battle and they will certainly not doubt your ability.”

He paused.

”Just be careful, Dagos, not to lose yourself in the mind you seek to explore. Don’t find yourself wanting to pull it apart and become separate from what is your mind and what is theirs. Continue to work on that ability, as well as your control to not tire yourself out, and you will be a strong Jedi in battle.”

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Connor pulled him to his feet and congratulated him for his effort. Dagos’ skin prickled, the hair on his arms standing on end with a feeling in his gut that closely resembled the lurch one felt when leaving or entering hyperspace. The darkness he felt hung on him vaguely, but it was quickly waning in the face of his jubilation. He had done it!

A smile broke over Dagos face. He could not believe how well he had done. It seemed even Connor was surprised.

“Is there anything else to learn?” he said eagerly, looking foreword to the next lesson Connor could impart on him.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Giving a half-smile, Connor raised his finger, ”Great work. Don’t get cocky.”

He gently hit Dagos on the arm, a sign of his admiration for pushing himself in the quest for knowledge and understanding of his own ability. Connor rubbed his hands together and looked to the sky for a moment.

”Is there anything else to learn? There’s a whole galaxy out there to learn about. I tell you what, we should go out there to a planet in our region and see what we can find – test yourself out of the comfort of a training ground.”

Connor rubbed his brow gently.

”You’ve only scratched the surface of what you can do. I tell you what – have you ever used the Force to heal yourself?”

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

He wouldn’t of thought it possible but Dagos face lit up even more at the prospect of going off world to train. For too long he had kept himself hidden away, it was more than time for him to get his shit together and go out and see the galaxy, to meet the people he was supposed to help.

“That sounds great.” Dagos said beaming.

Connor’s next question sort of popped Dagos’ bubble a bit.

“uh, no, I havent.” he admitted with much less confidence. There wasn’t any real reason for him to be ashamed of not trying something like that, other than the fact that Dagos wanted to be a healer and hadn’t even tried healing himself.

“But I did help master Whitelight and master Sinopi heal someone, once, for a minute, sort of.” he added quickly.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor chewed the inside of his mouth as he listened, pacing a little, back and forward, thinking of his next option.

”That’s good – good you’ve been around the healing process.”

He stopped and turned.

”Two questions. One. Do you trust me. Two. Do you trust yourself.”

Beckoning Dagos, he walked to meet him and tapped his hand for him to hold it out. Connor looked at the Padawan as he asked his question, and took hold of his hand and faced it palm down.

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Did he-? Dagos hesitated for just a moment.

“Yes. I trust us.” he replied with utmost confidence. There was no longer time to be unsure and today Connor showed Dagos more than force powers and saber forms. He showed him that he had potential, that he had the skill to control his power and become greater than he had ever envisioned. That warranted a bit of trust, he thought.

Dagos held his hand out for Connor not sure what to expect next.

 

[Connor Harrison]

”Ok. Deep breath.”

Connor held his hand and slipped his fingers under the ring finger of Dagos’ hand.

”Ok, what I want you to do - ”

And then he pulled the finger back with a sickening pop of bone, breaking it cleanly. Dagos went limp, but Connor held onto his hand and wrist, not letting him pull away. He radiated calmness and trust to the Padawan in light of this shocking and bold move.

”Dagos! Look at me – calm. Now – you need to heal your break.”

He stood still and strong, holding Dagos in his hand and not moving, face devoid of emotion.

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

“Mother Fu-!” he shouted as he attempted to pull his hand away. That hurt. It wasn’t the first time he had broken a finger, such was life on Haruun Kal. But maybe it was the suddenness of it or the sickening efficiency that made today hurt much worse than the previous times.

“Damn it Connor. You want me to heal this?” the finger was bent at an absolutely disgusting angle. His hand was starting to go numb, everywhere except for the finger of course which felt like it was being set on fire. Dagos, stared at the bent finger disgusted. He would have to fix it.

He kept staring at the finger, willing it to right itself and it did nothing. Fuck. He focused harder, trying to remember what it was like when he had helped heal the man with master Whitelight. The corners of his mouth twitch into a small smile as he felt the finger begin to straighten. There were small pops almost like popcorn as the finger began to take its natural shape once more.

After a moment it was practically back to new.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Gripping tight, Connor let him shout and pull, but he didn't do or say anything.

He felt a steady flow of the Force coming from Dagos, and it started to amplify the growth of bone, the repairing of muscle and nerve.

While his methods may be unorthodox, they often got results. Connor glanced at the broken finger, seeing it regain shape.

”I am sorry for that, but sever methods need sever action. You did it, and when you can heal a break in battle, either yours or your ally, you are invaluable to your Order.”

Inspecting his hand gently, Connor nodded and let Dagos go finally.

”Just go easy with that finger for the day, keep an eye on it and ensure the feeling is there before you sleep. Any trouble, come to me. Well done."

[member="Dagos Terrek"]

 

[Dagos Terrek]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

“You’re a right bastard you know that?” Dagos asked playfully as he inspected his hand. He moved the finger around. It was still a little sore and it now made a funny clicking noise but all in all it seemed to work just fine.

Connor’s training method’s were unorthodox to say the least but Dagos was captivated. He’d never had lessons like this before. Master Ru’s lessons were all very good and very informative but there was something else to these lessons, a practicality and bluntness that Dagos did not expect but certainly appreciated.