Foolish to Think

[Dissero]

Two months and two weeks later...


"We're going on a trip," he'd said after the departure of [member="Cameron Centurion"] following the First Order's assertion of dominance over the Vassek system. Too close to home, way too close. For some time he'd been considering all options for their new home: Borleias the ocean paradise where a large majority of his family lived; Onderon where the jungles were ruled by his pseudo-sister Quietus; that frozen world he'd long forgotten the name of where Sol had offered his second family home to use; and so many others.

But he kept coming back to one place in particular. A planet that held specific significance to both himself and Verie. A place where they had forged a close bond and where he had, for a short while, been happy and fulfilled.

Dissero hadn't told her where they were going, but as they dropped out of hyperspace within the Tion Cluster he thought she might get an inkling.

"Almost there," he called back into the lounge, "how are you feeling?" Morning sickness and travel apparently didn't mix well.

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie grimaced at herself in the mirror of the fresher just off the lounge. Get a hold of yourself, she ordered herself. You are a prima ballerina. You are stronger than this. You hold the galactic record for number of triple fouettes during the Coda of the White Queen, for heaven's sake. Her stomach lurched painfully and she glared at herself in the mirror, daring herself to flinch. Are you or are you not the performer the Theed Daily Herald hailed as "not only the best principal ballerina of her age, and not only the most technically skilled ballerina living, but perhaps the best performer since Irishnikovetya at the height of ballet as an art form during the middle Old Republic"? Because you surely to Force aren't acting like it.

Verie responded by vomiting into the sink, much to the disappointment of her inner life coach, which if it had been a person would have been Avadreia Lacroix giving an exasperated eye roll. You performed the role of Leia Organa in Principesa with a fractured toe, then took six curtain calls before you had it set, without any sign of a flinch, and this -- this?! -- a condition that ordinary, unaccomplished women have been going through since the beginning of time -- this is what sets you on your heels?

"I'm all right," Very called weakly. "But if you could just avoid any kind of turbulence I would be grateful." She ran cold water over a cloth and wiped her face and neck, then rinsed her mouth out with mouthwash before walking back to the cockpit, where she warily strapped herself into the co-pilot's chair's crash webbing before drawing her knees to her chest and looking over at @Dissero. "Maybe just don't pitch, or yaw, or turn, or accelerate," she added with a smirk.

 

[Dissero]

Wide eyes followed her as she strapped in. She'd been back there for a while.

"Don't do anything, got it," Dissero smirked at her, gently, "we're out of hyperspace. Decently straight shot to our destination, I'll try to make wide turns." He reached for her exposed ankle, wrapping a hand loosely around it and giving a light squeeze. Leaning, he kissed the nearest knobby knee before retracting his hand and weighing into the flight controls.

"Know where we are yet?"

She wasn't allowed to pander about with their flight path to figure it out. Those were the rules.

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie smirked at her husband-to-be. "You're the best," she said as he promised not to make any sudden movements. She was comforted by his touch, the comfort and warmth that his skin against hers brought. She smiled over at him from under her long lashes and then when he challenged her to determine where they were going, she turned her attention to the viewport. She racked her brain for memories of astronomical maps, studying the slowly-moving stars in the outer distance. She identified a few, noted which ones she couldn't see, and answered: "Tion Cluster." She was fairly confident of that, but as far as the rest -- system and planet -- she couldn't be sure.

So, she decided to open her mind to the Force, reaching out into the greater galaxy. After a few moments of immersing herself in the force in silent meditation, a thought occurred to her, quite separate and apart from her meditation. "Are we going back to Rudrig?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

[member="Dissero"]

 

[Dissero]

Fanged teeth bit into a smile at her as he glanced back over his shoulder. Dissero said nothing, but her memory, intuition, instincts, whatever it was that had driven her to that guess were correct. But it wasn't her answer that made him grin, it was the look on her face and the tone of her voice.

Are we going back to Rudrig?

Going back.

Yes, he thought, yes they were.

"A lot has happened in the Tion Cluster over the last several years," the man turned his gaze from Verie back to the growing spheres of planets in the viewport, "but the one constant in this system is that planet. It's remained untouched by the numerous powers, for the most part. What a relief to know that knowledge can still be valued over everything else...it's all still there. Just like we left it."

His previous house was still there, though that wasn't where he intended to go. That would be far too obvious on his part, despite this move in general being a strange decision for the man who was lauded as a paranoid hermit. Why go back to where you had already been? Because no one was looking for Dissero anymore and the onus of the Sith Empire had long since lifted. He wasn't coming back as Dissero, after all, he was coming back as Amadeus Darke. Ready to embark on a new career as a Professor of historical antiquities at the planet-wide university campus.

He'd scouted them a new home, one out in the country like the last one but bigger. Less modern, more comfortable than the last.

"I missed this place," he said, voice quieter.

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie's smile only grew wider as he confirmed that they were going to Rudrig. She had such fond memories of that brilliant summer. It had not been the summer that she fell in love with her prince, but it was the summer that she began to think that they might actually be together. It hadn't gone according to plan -- nothing ever seemed to do -- but here they were. He loved her. She loved him. They would be married someday, and she would bear his children. All was well that would end well. She reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder. "What a brilliant idea. Truly," she said, not quite able to contain herself.

Oh, to indulge her senses in the sweet summer air of Rudrig, to be that young woman counting out a thousand and one blooms from a suitor.

"I love you," she murmured. "Even if you are single-handedly responsible for each gray hair I own." She looked back to the viewscreen, smiling quietly. "Rudrig. Oh, delightful." She squeezed her hands between her knees.

[member="Dissero"]

 

[Dissero]

"And I love every single one of them," Dissero lifted a hand to squeeze at the one on his shoulder, smiling to himself. Rudrig approached and he was feeling every sort of right about this decision. The most confident sorts of right he'd ever felt about anything before.

~~~

It took several hours more to make the main approach and queue up in the security lanes just beyond orbit. Rudrig's strict laws controlling the entry of weapons was still very much active, something he found himself exceedingly grateful for, even in spite of the delay.

"Lord Darke," said traffic control over the comm channel as they finally made clearance for entry to atmo, "welcome to Rudrig. We look forward to having you with us at the University."

"I pulled some strings, dropped a few names from home," he explained as he brought their ship around for entry, attempting to keep their descent as level and clean as possible for Verie's sake, "flashed a few samples of my collection. Got myself a job at the University in their History department. Galactic Historical Antiquities," the ship rumbled as he engaged the viewport panels to close up, dropping the cabin into temporary darkness before the internal lights pinged on, "nice and tame. No explosions or Force Lords waging war for supremacy. Just good, wholesome Archival and Archeological study. What'cha think?"

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie had excused herself to rest, returning to the cockpit as the telltale signs of approach began. She listened to his explanation and nodded. Despite the traffic and wait time, Verie was still delighted as they approached the planet. She placed her hands on his biceps, leaning over to rest her head against his, her chin on his shoulder lightly. "What do I think?" she asked, looking and, she imagined, sounding somewhat skeptical. "I think you're going to be climbing-the-walls bored by the weekend," she said honestly before hugging him lightly around the neck and turning her head to kiss his cheek before releasing him and sitting in the co-pilot's chair again.

She paused and leaned back in her seat. "What do you think if... before the baby came, or after... I found something to do?" She looked over at him fondly. "Granted, I'm not nearly qualified to teach at a university, but there must be something I could do. Do you need a research assistant?" She furrowed her brows and chewed the inside of her cheek. "Maybe I'll enroll. If I can get in," she said with a smirk. "But perhaps it would be good if I knew a little more than ballet."

[member="Dissero"]

 

[Dissero]

Dissero wasn't sure when the page had turned for Verie but he was overwhelmingly relieved that it had. Seemed he'd spent the better part of two months in the doghouse while she took time to handle her inner turmoil. Walking on eggshells was probably one of the most difficult things he'd had to do, and the Alchemist had conquered some decently harrowing challenges in his time. He'd spent a lot of time down in his forge and workshops, crafting things for M&I and getting things in order for the inevitable move.

He'd also made the effort to clean out his vault at the Castle and move his more prized possessions to his other vaults. Dissero had the mind to grant the Castle to Cerita, but he hadn't made any final decision on the matter yet. After all the time and money he'd put into the place it would be hard to simply ... give it all away. Including the dragon. Especially the dragon.

He had a blood pact with Faen that he would have to uphold, but the dragon was presently busy hibernating. It could wait.

On the matter of Verie, he found he missed her physical affections most of all.

"I think..." said the man as he looked over at his mate, "we have lots of time to figure things out," a simple, warm smile found its way onto his face, "and a large new home to decorate."

After atmo entry he leveled their ship out over a sea of pale purple grasses. The glint of white buildings on the horizon was a welcome and familiar one - the university campus spanning nearly 3/4's of the entire planet was a wonder to behold in and of itself. It was a sight he'd come to deeply appreciate during his days as Governor here and he found that his fondness for it had not degraded over the years. The pursuit of knowledge wasn't something he'd ever grow tired of.

They skimmed over plains, taking a route that brought them over a large, wide mountain range following its southern peaks and a river that flowed there. Turning up through a narrow pass, they climbed between spires of green topped by slate greys and found themselves crossing the precipice of the northern peaks that opened out into a massive sprawling valley below. This was a residential area much like the home he'd lived at before, but it was not one in the same. Valley hills gave way to the glimmer of an expansive lake and it was there that he brought them down and slowed their descent.

"See that little cottage up on the hillside there?" he leaned to point to a tiny home parked precariously on the edge of the lake, "Ours is that big one to the right of it."

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie watched, a hand going to her abdomen as she tried to sooth herself. Her stomach lurched quite independent of the vessel's trajectory; it was the illusion of movement, she gathered, that made her feel ill. She steadied herself in her seat and leaned forward, her dark eyes scanning a he pointed. The cottage looked promising, but he then directed her attention to the larger house near it. "Oh -- really?" She didn't need to squint to see that one. It was large, beautiful, and situated, from what she could tell, in a most charming environment.

It was so different from where he had lived before -- almost a hundred and eighty degree difference, in fact. "It's so different," she observed, sounding a bit dim in retrospect. "From the Castle, and from your old place here, I mean. Do you think you'd be comfortable here?" she asked, glancing over at him to read his reaction, reaching over to rest her hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

[member="Dissero"]

 

[Dissero]

"I am exceptionally adaptable," Dissero replied over a droll, confident smile, "and this isn't about me. The castle was about me. The other house in the west valley was about me." All truth. Both places had been acquired with only the thoughts of self in mind. The modern man's nest had been selected for luxury and simplicity in an otherwise unsimple life. The Castle had been part of necessity for personal gain. He'd never once looked at that Castle before Cerita, before Verie, and thought to himself - this is where I'm going to make the rest of my life.

"This is about us."

Dissero said us but internally he was thinking you. This was about Verie, about making her happy and comfortable, about living up to her expectations, about giving her the fairy tale story she'd always dreamed of. Especially now that the story had experienced the unexpected roadblock of pregnancy. It was about safety and security. Rudrig had provided both of these things beforehand and he was certain it would continue to do so now.

Engines purred as he pulled the ship around to the exposed landing pad to the south side of the home. Gently as he could manage he set it down and put the ship through its motions. Still smiling, the man twisted to kiss at the hand on his shoulder before unbuckling himself from his seat and turning to the woman beside him. That expression of excitement had returned, the very same one she'd seen when he first learned she was pregnant.

"Ready?"

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie beamed at him, feeling an excitement that she hadn't known for some time. She leaned over, capturing his chin with her other hand, and pressed a kiss into his lips before she unbuckled her own crash webbing, popping out of the chair with an enthusiasm that seemed unnatural for a woman in her condition. "Leave the luggage -- please, leave it for now," she called over her shoulder as she rushed out of the cockpit, her fleet feet taking her to the exit of the ship. She pushed the button to open the ramp and almost immediately after the seal opened, the sweet scent of Rudrig's air filled the ship. She inhaled deeply and strolled down the ramp, looking around with no small degree of satisfaction. She walked to the edge of the landing pad and sat down, reaching down (with some difficulty) to pull her boots off before pushing off and dropping into the grass a few feet below.

The grass tickled her feet, snaking between her toes. It was divine. It made her feel young again. It made her feel...

She paused and examined her feelings. She felt well. "Come over here," she called, turning to face the ship to see whether [member="Dissero"] had come down the ramp yet. "You've got to feel this!"

 

[Dissero]

A slow ambling gait followed Verie out of the ship, leaving the luggage as requested with a faint, As you wish... echoing after her.

Clomp, clomp, clomp, hands in the pockets of his jacket, Dissero breathed in the fresh air of Rudrig and allowed it to form a broad smile on his face. Like the cat basking in the sun, he drank it all in. All of it. The sights, the smells, the feeling of a planet he'd long began to miss years ago. He remembers with explicit detail that last trip taken off planet at the side of Velok, remembered thinking he would miss this place dearly, and he had.

"Come over here!"

Blue eyes flickered over to Verie, only her upper half visible from where she stood downhill of the landing pad.

"You've got to feel this!"

Hmmmm. Thoughts began rolling through the man's mind as he stepped over and looked down at her upon the grassy knoll. Purple grasses surrounded her in a sea of gently rolling violets and he wondered if he'd ever actually walked barefoot through them before. He couldn't recall, but he didn't think he had. Dropping to the edge the man kicked off his boots to join her and pressed the bare bottoms of his feet into the blades. He shuffled around, whisking the grass through his toes, droll smile formed on his lips, "This is nice," said the man who had once adored the view of rolling fog on the third moon of Vassek.

Arms then suddenly snaked out to snatch Verie around the waist, gently but firmly, and pulled the woman in to kiss her, "We could make it a fully body experience. A little roll in the grass, hm? It'll be fun." Smirk.

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie flushed as [member="Dissero"] pulled her form to his, stiffening a little at the prospect of such a public display of affection. But they seemed quite alone. His murmured suggestion caused her to color more, not just her face but her neck and chest and shoulders all taking on some twinge of pink or another. She put her arms around him and collected another kiss, this time slower and softer. We should move house more often, she thought with a mischievous chuckle, as almost of her own accord, she found herself pulling his tunic up his back...

A bright, hot afternoon had turned to a warm, muted dusk when at last Verie found herself padding up the stairs towards the house. She was clad in her boots and Mero's discarded tunic that hung almost to her knees, with the rest of her clothes stuffed into the bag she had slung over her shoulder. Her hair was, after some work, somewhat disheveled but at least and at last free of purple grass and tiny violets. Not being in any position to lug their cases all the way up, she was instead ushering some in front of her up the steps with the Force. When she reached the top of the stairs, she set the cases down and approached a door. Whether it was the front door was a matter of conversation. The house had a sort of rambling quality to it that Verie rather liked, but one did feel like one was on the back foot.

"Have you been here before?" Verie asked, turning to Mero. She absentmindedly reached over and plucked a twig from behind his left knee.

 

[Dissero]

"I may have stopped by once," came his reply as he padded along after her carrying two more cases, "had to scope the place out, you know? Only a complete moron would by a house sight-unseen ... " he passed a leery gaze around as he tapped at the security panel and input the wrong code. Yes, he'd totally been here before.

Bleerrrp. Said the panel as he tried a second time.

"Oh Sithspit," a sideways glance to Verie in his tunic, gaze lingering over the exposed bare legs, "you've got me all distracted, Lady."

No, he totally had this under control.

Ba-ba-bum-bing! Correct code. The door whisked silently open.

"Ok, come here," and then he seized Verie, scooping her figure off the ground, "I realize this is backwards or something, but damnit, I'm carrying you in. Pretend I'm being romantic, ok?"

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie flushed a little as she felt his gaze roam over her legs. She had the urge to cross them now, but there was no point in modesty after their roll in the grass -- not to mention the fact that she was, indeed, expecting his child. "You're distracted," Verie said theatrically. "I never knew you were so bad at finding the right button." She observed him playing with the keypad, then when the door open, made to lift the cases off the ground--

And was lifted herself, instead. "My Gods, you'll put your back out," she admonished him, but he was not to be dissuaded, and carried her easily over the threshold into entryway. It was dark except for the light cast by the setting sun, which didn't illuminate far. Her grip around his shoulders tightened. "Don't put me down. There might be spiders," she murmured, kicking her feet playfully.

What Verie couldn't see, she could sense and smell. What she sensed was safety and warmth and beauty and ... ancientness. The house was clearly of the older variety, but from her review of the outside, well maintained. What she smelled was beautiful, fresh air and a slightly aquatic smell -- not fishy or algaey, but clean and fresh -- and his cologne and... wood polish? Hmm.

[member="Dissero"]

 

[Dissero]

He was content to simply stand there, future wife in his arms, taking in their new home with a deep sense of belonging, relief, and accomplishment. That she was so accepting and seemingly approving of this choice took a weight off his mind and shoulders (despite her diminutive weight in his arms) and put him at a mental ease he'd not felt in some many years. Perhaps even never.

"There might be a few spiders," he admitted as he slowly began to stride forward down the main hall towards where he believed lead them to the kitchen, "possibly even some ghosts, but I'm sure they're all highly intellectual." This was Rudrig afterall, even the vermin were educated.

The house was sparsely furnished, so aside from the unlit architecture as he walked the darkening halls there was not much to take in as of yet. That would all change within the next few weeks as they made this house their home, but for now he pressed onwards through the empty kitchen towards a side door that lead out onto the veranda overlooking the lake sunset. Dissero carried Verie over to the carved marble railing and set her upon it, one hand leaning at either side of her figure.

"We'll have to name it you know."

[member="Verie Lacroix"]

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Verie shifted uncomfortably on the railing, her arms reaching out to place her hands on his shoulders, to keep her steady. But that wasn't enough for her. She drew him closer, pulling him so that their torsos met, and she could feel his breathing against her own, and the stubble of his cheek on her neck as she laid her head against his shoulder. She let the statement hang in the air for a few long moments, getting comfortable with it. "Of course we'll have to name it," she said with a smirk. "Although my father used to swear that he had a cousin whose parents couldn't decide, and ended up naming their baby Baby Middlename Lacroix, in hopes that she would choose a name for herself when she got old enough. We will not be doing that."

She paused, sliding her hands down his back and scratching lightly. "I was thinking... Alex. Or... Adrian. What about Erin? Or Jesse?" She giggled against his shoulder as she reeled off unisex-name after unisex-name; she knew the sex of the baby, but had not yet shared that fact with [member="Dissero"], nor the fact that she knew it. "Noel. Quinn. Riley. Whitney. Dylan?" In truth she hated all those names, but that wasn't the point. She let the silence envelope them, only the gentle sound of the lapping lake to lull them.

"Oh. You meant the house, didn't you?" She asked, feeling her face get hot against his skin. "Pregnancy brain -- it's a real thing."

 

[Dissero]

The deep, coarse rumbling of a chuckle echoed through the man's chest as he stood with Verie snuggled against him. Dissero watched the vision of the sun slowly setting beyond the lake and quietly admired the colors reflecting in the waters below. Such a variety, a riot of colors in contrast to the dreary grey home he'd left behind.

Through a deep inhale he pressed his lips against her neck, enjoying the scent of his mate as it mingled with that of the lake and flora abound. His hands moved to her hips, an amused smile playing on his face as she listed off names that could not possibly give away the gender of their first expected child. He was aware she had been to see the Doctor several times; Verie was quite responsible in that regard and had done everything required to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Admiration for her dedication to it after the trauma it had seemed to cause at first was hardly enough to describe what he felt about this change of attitude about children out of wedlock.

They would never be an orthodox couple and he supposed it would take her some time to adjust to this, but at the very least they no longer had her mother glowering over her shoulder at every little thing. He wondered if Verie missed her mother at all.

"I like the name Gabriel," he murmured into her neck with a broadening smile, "if it's a boy."

Gabriel, after the man that had helped his estranged sister Cerusia discover the shred of humanity and compassion left within her. He would be ever grateful for it and [member="Gabriel Sionoma"]'s efforts of comforting a woman lost in her own life.

 

[Verie Lacroix]

Gabriel.

It struck Verie that she had no names. There was no one in her life that was meaningful enough to name her child. Her father had died when she was young. Her brother had thrown his life away on some fool's errand. Meanwhile, if the baby were a girl, the choices were similarly limited. To name her after her grandmother would be to give the baby the legacy of a woman who was both beautiful and terrible, who owned any room she entered but who was somehow separate from its occupants. She wouldn't curse her child with a name that had belonged to a woman who had been more tormentor than parent, more employer than mother.

For a moment, she was standing in her mother's frigid study, staring into glacial blue eyes, being savaged in that infuriatingly calm way for something any perfectly normal child could have done.

Then she was back on the veranda, [member="Dissero"]'s warmth pressed against her. She realized she hadn't said anything, and it had been over a minute of silence.

"Gabriel," Verie answered finally. "Hmm. Not Merovign?"