From the Ice Inside Your Soul (Kaida)

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


"That's true." There was no way around it. Perhaps someone more empathic would've said something more encouraging, but Kaida wasn't. Galina would get a moment, but the unit would soon have to march on.


"There are...Priestesses at the outpost you can talk to. Unlike Jedi, we have counselling." Jedi counselling seemed to consist of getting a more or less encouraging pep talk from a Master, then being told to meditate a lot and recite a six line code of purple poetry.


Then Galina dropped her revelation. The Seraph didn't really know what to say. 'I'm sorry' sounded terribly trite to her. "That's why you want to be trained and go back there, isn't it?" The question was rhetorical. Then she stepped forward and placed an armoured hand upon the girl's shoulder.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Galina nodded. She knew it was the simple fact of the matter. They didn't have the time to stop for her. And the only reason she really was getting this moment, was because of the need to document what happened and give them proper burial rites.

A sigh came, and she brushed away the last traces of tears. Somehow it felt a little better that someone else knew. "I may need to ...Not sure I want to. Talking about it, makes it real. And as foolish as it may be, there is some part of me that still wishes it wasn't the reality I grew up in. But, I may need to." She gave a shrug, having calmed down a fair bit.

While the question might have been rhetorical, Galina chose to answer anyway. "Yes. I don't give a damn about my lineage. Rightful heir, whatever. I don't care about that. I only care about the people that suffer every day under the Rahls. Who are brutally tortured, and tossed into mass graves like trash. To those who starve to death. To the kids, like me who ended up as soldiers at far too young an age." Reaching up she ran a slow hair through her hair.

"At some point it's got to stop. Someone has to bring it to an end. And it's not like the Jedi have cared. Feth, Sith don't care. There's nothing worth either group's time there, save the people, and let's be honest ... Neither one care about the people, but I do. I just want to see it end. Maybe I'll die trying, but maybe just maybe I'll make some kind of difference. If I don't do something, there isn't anyone out there who will." She sighed softly, and looked up to Kaida as she put her hand on her shoulder. The simple gesture made all the difference to her, a moment of comfort that she truly needed.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


Awkward silence descended upon them for a moment. "I understand," Kaida said simply, finally breaking the silence. "I see now why you came here. Make no mistake, I won't go easy on you, I won't coddle you or treat you in any way gentler than I would any other recruit. But I will give you the skills you need to fight and bring the tyrants to justice. Most importantly, I'll give you the skills to survive. Understood?"


Gosh, Galina had actually gained approval points from the ice queen. On her first day. Not bad for the little firemane.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Galina seemed to relax a little bit. Less tense, less stressed. Maybe it helped to have someone that she felt like understood what she was trying to do, and seemed supportive of it. "Thank you."

She then stood slowly, at least in part signaling she was ready to return to the others. "Understood, ma'am. That's all I really want. Not to be coddled. I just want the skills to have a fighting chance. That's all. Surviving, is a bonus to me at this point. Not expectation."

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


"Good. Then we understand each other," Kaida remarked. She was never one for being particularly talkative and saying more than what was needed. "Come on. When we're back at the base, you'll be getting a mandatory counselling session with the Priestess."


It was clearly not phrased as a suggestion. Kaida was never the type to make her orders sound like polite requests. Having said her piece, she turned away, expecting Galina to follow her back to the unit.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Galina nodded. An understanding had been reached between them, and the redhead managed to get approval points from the ice queen. Quickly she followed with Kaida. Though, a frown crossed her face when she heard mandatory counselling. She opened her mouth to protest, but stopped short. It hadn't been phrased as a suggestion. It was an order, and there was no getting out of it.

She sighed quietly, and soon enough they were back with the rest of the unit. Elayne had busied herself, helping to prepare the dead. She glanced up, seeing Galina and Kaida return. Galina didn't look as upset as she had been. It seemed to her like the kid, just might be okay. At least for now. Though a part of her had been curious to know what Kaida had said to her. Still, she wasn't going to ask.

Elayne stepped quickly to the human. "You okay?" She asked quietly.

"I will be. But later. Ask me later. Don't want to revisit it, right now." Galina replied, wanting to avoid the conversation completely. And Elayne reached out and gave her a pat on the shoulder, trying to at least give her some small bit of comfort.

"I'm just going to hang back here, if that's okay." She didn't want to get close to the mass grave again. Not when it would just bring up horrific memories and all sorts of pain that she didn't want to have to deal with right this moment. "Just want to get back to the outpost." Intentionally keeping her voice extremely low and soft, to not be heard by more than just Kaida and Elayne.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


Once they'd returned to the ditch, Kaida did not waste any more time. "Is everything ready?" she asked. Clearly no was not an acceptable answer. She walked to the edge of the ditch, refusing to take her eyes away from the piles of corpses.


"Yes, ma'am," Mythal reported. "The bodies have been documented. Most were...horribly mutilated. It feels like they're husks." Even the seasoned Angelii soldier looked sickened by the sight.


Kaida nodded curtly. "We don't know their names, we don't know their stories. It doesn't matter. They'll be avenged. Set fire to their bodies." At her command, Mythal drew upon her Sciia and suddenly jets of flame leapt from her hands towards the ditch, enveloping the bodies. Two other pyromancers joined in on the action and soon the mountain of corpses was wreathed in flame. Fire was purifying, or so it was said.


"Great Goddess Ashira, we commend these martyred souls to you. May your radiant light be their guide out of darkness into a better world. May they find a peace that was denied them. May their murderers be cast into hellfire. May Illyria repay their crimes tenfold," A number of Angelii joined in the chant as it rose to the heavens, while flames consumed the decaying bodies, searing flesh from bone, along with grass and wood. Kaida remained stoic, standing still as a statue.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Elayne nodded, "I'll stay with you." As bad as she felt for asking, the Eldorai still felt it had been needed. "Ever need someone to talk to, don't forget I'm around." She said quietly.

"I appreciate it. Guessing my mum told you a little about what happened." Galina said softly, tiredly, trying to keep her eyes off the flames and the bodies.

"She did, but only in the vaguest terms."

"Yeah, haven't really told her all that much. Enough, I think. But I was still learning basic, and learning to express how I felt in this new language. It was hard for me to find the words. Eventually I gave them a small outline of what happened." Galina replied. "Someday I will." She gave a shrug, before growing quiet as she watched the Pyromancers at work.

And soon enough the ditch was filled with flame. Helping to send them to a proper place, far away from their suffering. Elayne laid a gentle hand on Galina's shoulder. Just to try and comfort her how she could. Galina gave a nod, acknowledging the gesture. Slow deep breaths were needed to remain calm. Truth be told, she still had a great need to be alone. To be able to cry unseen. They'd be back at the outpost soon enough, and she'd have to talk to the Priestess. Though the redhead did wonder if she'd be able to find time alone before then. Just to get herself in order.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


Ash to ashes. The ditch was filled with flames and the bodies were consumed by them as the mass grave was turned into a big funeral pyre, spread by the rush of the wind. Acrid smoke and the smell of burning flesh rose up into the air. Kaida stood there stoically while she watched the fire, then turned away.


"Get back in formation. We're heading back to base," she said flatly amidst the crackle of flames. Technically the exercise should've gone on for a bit longer, but it seemed she was no longer in the mood. Acting in good discipline, or at least as much as could be expected after this day, the Angelii reassumed formation and began their trek out of the forest and back towards the outpost.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Elayne stuck beside Galina as they formed back up into their formation. Galina was quieter, more rigid than before, tension from the events she'd been witness to in the last hour. Reminders of things past. She didn't say anything else, and neither did Elayne.

The outpost was soon in sight and the women filed in. There was relief, as Galina seemed to relax a little as they entered the base once more. It felt a little safer here. At least here she might be able to put the events of the day behind her. Though there was that looming counselling session, and of course her shoulder would still need to be looked at by a healer. Good thing the counselor was a Priestess, making that a little easier.

Elayne gave the girl a gentle pat on the back but said nothing still. After all, they would have to be dismissed before the girls could wander off back to their rooms anyway. So the redheaded Eldorai just patiently waited.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


And so after a long trek that pretty much covered the same ground as before, they were back at the outpost. The mighty gates closed behind them and they stood once more upon the parade grounds.


By now the sun had set upon the base. Slowly darkness was descending. The soldiers manning the watchtowers and the walls were ever-vigilant. Night was the time the Xioquo favoured for their attacks and ambushes. While the Angelii stood in formation, Kaida faced them.


"Red Company, dismissed. Cantina opens in twenty. I expect to see you all at prayer session." Her last words were particularly ironic since anyone who knew Kaida well would be aware that she didn't care much for religion. Or at all really. However, appearances had to be maintained.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Galina finally let the tension drop from her body, and started off back towards the barracks. The girl just wanted a shower and some alone time before she had to deal with her shoulder, or talking about her feelings and all of that. Elayne was likewise headed for the same place.

For the human, it did take her a moment to work out getting the armor off. Elayne walked in, in time to assist. "Careful with the shoulder, little one." She said softly. "Let me at least help for a second."

Galina glanced up, and nodded. She didn't say a word though, and just let Elayne help her. "Thanks." She said softly after she'd gotten the last piece off.

"You did a decent job today. Couldn't have expected anything more from you." The elf at least trying to be encouraging. "It'll get easier."

"I suppose it will." Just frustrated with myself and a bit upset. But it's not like I really need to say that out loud. The girl gathered her things for a shower, and headed off. Disappearing for a while. Showering, a bit of an eye opening experience. She certainly wasn't used to this communal shower thing. Not at all. Still being careful of her shoulder, she soon got dressed and headed back to her room only briefly to drop her things off. Elayne wasn't present. Who knew where she'd wandered off to.

Now it was just a matter of doing something with her shoulder. Which meant finding where the healers were. Asking around, got her pointed in the right direction. Eventually she walked into the small medical center, and looked for the nearest priestess to help her.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


By chance, coincidence or the will of the Goddess Galina would end up running into...our favourite redheaded priestess. Didn't the Eldorai have any other ones available? Well, actually they did, but this one might as well use a pre-established character.


For a change, Eileithya was not in a chipper mood. "Droids? Really. Has Seraph Taldir gone mad? I don't want any soulless automatons in my medical centre," she spoke in her most grumpiest tone. Yes, the kind healer was not being a happy camper.


"Objection, this unit is a certified medical droid with a massive database of medical knowledge. We are programmed with all the skills needed to even perform complex surgeries and have served as a medic in many conflict zones."


Eileithya threw up her hands in frustration. "That's just it. You're programmed. You have no soul, no conscience of your own. At the flip of a switch, you'll murder a patient as readily as you'll heal one."


The droid actually seemed to sound offended. Well, as much as it could convey through its dull monotone. "We must object strongly to this bigoted assertion. This unit has sworn and accepted the Hippocratic Oath. All life is precious and must be nurtured. We would never lay a hand upon a patient."


"Because your programming tells you so!"


"Just as the morals you were socialised in tell you not to hurt an innocent. Sentient values are derived from social expectations, religion and education. Is this not a form of programming?" Such a snarky droid.


Eileithya looked like she'd just swallowed something foul. "Do not twist my words, machine. Or compare your programming with the Goddess' code. You're an empty shell. You won't be touching any patients without supervision, and I will discuss this with Taldir."


It was then that she noticed Galina had entered. Realising that she'd probably made a scene, Eileithya looked a bit embarrassed. Leaving the droid to do whatever it was doing, she approached the young Kerrigan.


"Galina, dear." Impulsively she gave the younger woman a hug. She winced a bit when she saw how mucked up Galina's shoulder looked. "Come on, sweetie. I can have that fixed up in no time." A frown creased her features. "Elayne told me what happened out in the forest. I'm so sorry, dear." Taking Galina by the arm she led her into a more private medical room.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

The human redhead had heard the majority of the conversation between the droid and Eileithya. A part of her might have been slightly amused, but she didn't show that. At least tried not to anyway.

Galina then managed a slight smile, but clearly wasn't feeling it. She was just trying to be polite, despite feeling rather down. She hugged the woman gently, and sighed. "It's not so bad, the shoulder." She clarified. Then of course mention of the forest. Any trace of happiness faded as they stepped into the private medical room.

Tears, Galina could already feel the sting of in her eyes and blinked fast trying to will them away. "It's okay." She managed, taking a seat on the bed. "Just, I didn't imagine I'd see things like that here. I had hoped seeing those kinds of things would have been behind me, until I returned to Sigma to try and help end that mess. Or at least do what I can." The girl gave a shrug but winced heavily for her effort.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


One did not need an empath to recognise the change in mood. Part of Eileithya felt bad about even bringing the ghastly events up. However, no matter how painful it was for Galina, she knew that it would be even worse if the girl felt she had to keep things bottled up.


"My poor child. The world is a very grim place. We can only do a best to light candles in the darkness and keep them from going out." Unsurprisingly she was back to being nice Eileithya. As opposed to the xenophobic, slightly bigoted one.


Seeing the tears slowly forming in Galina's eyes, she gave her some tissues. "Please take off your shirt, then I'll fix up your shoulder." One hand rose up to gently caress the girl's cheek, wiping away any tears if they dropped down. "It's alright to cry, dear. Nothing inside this room passes on to anyone. I...don't think Siobhan knows, but I was on Sigma, too."

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Galina nodded. "I naively thought such horrors were isolated to Sigma. Such cruelty, didn't think many were capable of it." She sighed heavily, taking the tissues and drying away the first trace of tears.

Slowly, she worked to unbutton her shirt and finally set it aside. The small bandage wrapped around her shoulder was still damp from her shower, though traces of blood had seeped through the gauze. "It's .. I .. I'm afraid. Afraid that if I start crying, I may never stop." Again she managed to nod, "Don't want the world to see me like that. Sobbing in this way, for things I cannot change."

Galina drew in a deep breath, trying to regain some of her composure, still trying to fend off the tears. "I remember. You spoke to me, in Sigmanese when I first met you. When I was afraid to be touched by a healer, afraid and understood so little basic. Made me calmer, more at ease, when I was so, so very much afraid."

She reached up, running a slow hand through her own hair. "I just want to be able to move on from the things I witnessed on Sigma. I want to get past seeing the days of watching Rahl's Army sweep through the town, grabbing every know rebel. Forcing them to dig their own mass grave. Before they tortured them one by one. Seeing that over and over again in my dreams. I can't ever forget that." She'd been lucky to have escaped that fate. Though Galina was special, the last surviving member of an ancient line of royals. The Guardians had always kept watch, keeping her from ever suffering that fate personally.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


This writer just realised that Eileithya had already told Galina she'd been on Sigma. Maybe the healer had forgotten. After all, she was kind of old. Anyhow, on with the actual plot. "Ah, yes, I remember," she said, brushing off her momentary forgetfulness. She gently removed the damp and partialy bloody bandage that covered Galina's shoulder, then placed her hand upon the wound as pulled at the tangled web of power to channel her Sciia into it.


"I want you to know that you can always cry here. There's no shame in or being afraid. You think your mother never is? She definitely is." Incidentally Eileithya had switched to speaking in Sigmanese. Her pronounciation of the language had a noticeable Eldarai accent, but should still be understandable.


"The terrible things that happened aren't things you can forget. The souls of the unjustly killed cry out of for justice. When you go back to Sigma, these are the horrors you will have to face and overcome, but I believe you can. I believe you were saved on that horrible day for a reason."

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

Galina tensed slightly, when the bandage was pulled away. The wound looked a bit worse than she had imagined it to be. "It was a long while ago." She said softly.

There was a comfort to hear the language of her home. Familiarity that sometimes was needed in a place so new, that still felt so foreign to her sometimes. Another sigh, and she too switched to her native language. "I suppose there isn't. I just, I don't know. I don't want to project any weakness really. Would rather cry alone, than with others around. And no, I know my mum is. I just have no idea what I'm doing at this point. No idea of what the people on Sigma need. And no clue, all while trying to deal with and overcome the horrors of my own past. A past many of my people share with me. It's a lot that rests on my shoulders. And I do trust that I can overcome it. I've come too far, to not."

"I know, it's a foolish notion. I hope that the people back there, haven't had to suffer through more purges. But I know too well they have. They were far too common while I was there. And I'm sure still used as a way to instill fear in the people. Still can hear the screams. The sounds, the smells. It's things I've never been able to get out of my head. It's the kind of thing that haunts you forever. No one deserves that kind of death. Not here, not back on Sigma." Her voice getting sharper, a little angry even. It upset her a whole hell of a lot more than she let on.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"]


"I'm not going to lie to you, Galina, by saying it's probably gotten better is. The truth is, it's probably the opposite and it'll only get worse when you return to Sigma to take the fight to the Rahls. It'll be dark before the dawn," at that she raised her hand to forestall any possible protest.


"I am not saying you should not return. It's a noble cause. But it'll mean war and more people will die. You'll have to be ready to send people into battle to fight and die, and for the Rahls to become even crueller to cow the population. But whatever happens, don't lose sight of what you seek to achieve. You're a good woman."


Calling upon the power of the Goddess, the priestess channelled her Sciia through Galina's wound. The injury looked nasty, but she focused her power upon it, down to the smallest cellular level. Thus she could map it, for want of a better word. Slowly but surely cells would regenerate, flesh would be mended and pain recede, though it would be sore for a while.

 

[Galina Kerrigan-Alcori]

"Truthfully, I don't want to hear people making the reality softer. I don't want lies, or things to make me feel better about the situation. I want to know how it really is, but that doesn't change the fact that I wish the reality was starkly different. That I wish they weren't suffering, while I've lived a relatively comfortable life in comparison." The girl held a fair bit of guilt, that she'd gotten away, escaped while others would remain trapped and oppressed.

The human gave a nod, "I know. I know what it means. It all has to get much worse before its going to get better. And I am aware, I have to be ready to send people off, knowing some will not return. It's mathematical, guaranteed that not all will survive. Cold as it is, that is the fact at the end of the day. Not all are going to be around to see the sun rise on Sigma when this ends. And despite all of that, it still doesn't change that I wish it could be different." The girl sniffled, wiping away a stray tear or two. "Doesn't change that I wish it didn't have to be this way, and those lives didn't have to end. That I won't have to be the one to send them out to fight, to die. But that isn't reality. It's a fantasy. One that isn't even remotely an option."

Galina sighed, and closed her eyes. "Maybe it's just a foolish notion to be so softhearted in such a cruel galaxu. For caring so much. I can't help it. Always going to care. That's just who I am." She breathed in and out slowly, letting the Priestess do her work. Her shoulder, she could feel the shift, the way it changed as the pain faded. It was still a bit sore at the end, but soreness she could manage.

"Thank you." Galina said softly. A part of her wanted to stay here for a while, for it was quieter and more peaceful than her room. And certainly more peaceful than the cantina. Pulling her legs up onto the bed, the redhead lingered, making no move to leave now that her shoulder was better.

[member="Kaida Taldir"]