Full Circle

[Valae Heavenshield]

​

Silver Rest, Office of the Grandmaster
Kashyyyk​

This day, Valae chosen not to sit behind her desk, but rather in a small armchair by the window. The walls of her office seemed far away, she felt small. Standing, she pulled her woolen robes around her tightly and paced. The afternoon light of Kashyyyk spilled in through the curtains and onto the wooden floor where her anxious feet crossed back and forth.

There was quite a lot on the Grandmaster’s mind.

Her thoughts were a storm at the moment as she struggled to piece together words. There was no easy way to say it, this she had concluded long ago. A small glance towards the clock told her that it was nearly time. Valae’s shoulders dropped slightly, but she hoped that the weight upon them would soon be lifted. However, she was also prepared for that weight to be replaced by a small chip of guilt that she would likely carry for the rest of her days.

Drawing in a breath, she prepared a pot of spiced tea and her hands carefully set the cups and saucers onto the side table. Next, she narrowed her eyes as she concentrated enough to cut two perfect slices of cake. It was a special recipe, one that was near and dear.

Crème slice – a dessert she’d first enjoyed on Klatooine.

Sinking to the edge of a chair, she felt the inkling of a smile on her lips at the memory. It was a complicated mix of happiness and sadness, something she couldn’t find words to adequately describe. Arisa Yune – she had been the one to introduce Valae to this decadent cake, but it was much more than just a lovely baked good. It was a token of friendship.

It seemed fitting that she share it with [member="Jyoti Nooran"] today.

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti had found it a little odd that Valae had called for a formal meeting in her office - usually, they talked privately within the confines of the dorms, or out in the galaxy. It seemed today her friend meant business.

Walking to her office, she really had no clue to expect today, so she didn't have a good feeling about it.

Said feelings only grew worse as she could sense unease radiating from Valae on the other side of the door to her office. She stopped right ahead of the half-open door, rapping lightly on the wood before entering.

"Howdy," she greeted as she made her way into the room. While Jyoti's office was almost like a dark jungle with a clutter of plants covering the floor and walls, Valae's was quite sparse but bright. "Sorry I'm late, Shadow briefings ran a little longer than expected.

Now at the desk, she spied a spread of cream slices on the table. One of her favorite desserts from her Klatooine days, and one the two women had bonded over in their first meeting. Times were so much simpler then, when they weren't burdened with running the entirety of the Silver Order.

"So is that it? Did you call me in to test your baking?" she quipped as she took a seat, trying to start the conversation on a light note.

[member="Valae Heavenshield"]

 

[Valae Heavenshield]

A small knock at the door alerted Valae to Jyoti’s arrival, not only that, but the other woman’s force signature flowed to her in a familiar way. It was an altogether strange sensation, this was the signature she knew to be Arisa, but was now [member="Jyoti Nooran"] – different face, different name… same presence, at least to Valae.

“Glad you could make it,” She said, the edges of her mouth formed a small smile. “Don’t worry about being tardy; I’m just glad you’re here.”
It was the truth.

Watching as the Echani moved towards the cake, Valae managed a chuckle in response to her quip. Taking a seat, she motioned for Jyoti to do the same and nodded towards the Crème Slice. “Go ahead, give it a try. I know it’s not as good as yours, but it should be edible.”

Valae lifted her own plate and fork but merely eyed the dessert. There was a sense of dread in the room, a feeling that both women shared.

Crossing her legs, Valae shifted slightly in her seat, preparing for the words to come.

“You know that I like to beat around the bush,” She said, poking idly at the cake with the prongs of her fork. “It’s my way of delaying sad news,” Valae blinked and looked away for a moment. “But, this time, I think I’ll be short and to the point – I don’t know how else to say it.”

With a very heavy sigh, Valae returned her gaze to Jyoti.

“The time has come for me to step down as grandmaster,” She said with a nod, “I know it may seem sudden, but it’s a notion I’ve been pondering for a while now. I’m not sure I was cut out for this role.” The floodgate was open now, “I can’t lead the Order to war, I won’t – ” She couldn’t finish the sentence, but she knew that Jyoti would understand. Valae did not wish to send any more of her friends off to battle; she didn’t want to lose any of them. Eyes wide, pleading… she looked to Jyoti.

“I’m sorry,” She lowered her head, “But I think it’s all for the best.”

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti had a joke about technically never making cream slices in her very short life as an avatar, but she caught herself as to not make her friend uncomfortable. Not everyone took too well to her black humor, and something seemed off about Valae today.

"Oh nonsense, your baking is fine, I loved your pies at our last potluck. Charlie even walked off with one that time."

She wasted no time digging in, cutting away a large corner of the square with the edge of her fork to try. She let it sit on her tongue after dropping it, slowly chewing to savor the taste. The dessert was actually different from her recipe she had picked up on Klatooine, but it was just as good in its own way, sweet and creamy which just the right amount of crunch from the crust.

She was just about to compliment Valae on a job well done when she noticed that she wasn't actually eating any of hers, just picking at it with her fork. She let her fork hand rest, looking quite concerned. Something was up.

A few moments later, it all came out. Getting right to the heart of the discussion, she suddenly announced her impending. retirement as Grandmaster. Now she let her fork drop back to the table, leaning back in her seat trying to process formulate a response.

"Darn..." she started slowly, silver eyes focused on the desk. "I wish you had let me finish dessert first...it was really good."

After her awful joke, she stood up from her chair, came around to Valae's side, and leaned in for a hug. She was close enough that her friend may have smelled her lavender perfume.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who put you in this position in the first place. Even so, you have performed admirably. You were exactly what we needed at our lowest point when it seemed like everyone was condemning us. You helped rebuild our image and bring us new allies. You have been my inspiration in striving to become better than I was."

She pulled back so she could see Valae's face again.

"I was always so angry...I started to forget what I was fighting for. It wasn't vengeance, but love. You reminded me, and help me find peace within myself."

Her usual cool demeanor was shattered in a private moment, her silver eyes growing misty.

"This is for the best. You've done enough. So what now? I'm assuming you called me here to take over?"

Officially, anyway. While Valae was the face of the Silver Order, Jyoti had worked in the shadows as a quiet operator, setting policy and pulling strings. However, as of late, she had been taking more of a frontline appearance in place of Valae as Master of the Order. Now she understood why Valae had been so reluctant to leave the temple recently.

However, just like the first time, she wasn't sure if she was ready.

[member="Valae Heavenshield"]

 

[Valae Heavenshield]

A flicker of a smile appeared as Jyoti quipped about letting her finish the dessert first, and she cradled her own plate of cake gently in her lap. As the Echani moved to lean in for a hug, Valae let her head rest there against her shoulder for a brief moment and reached up to give the other woman’s arm a gentle pat. It turns out; a hug was just what she needed, especially as she heard the kind words that followed.

“I wouldn’t have lasted this long, if you weren’t here.” Valae nodded, it was very true, after all.

Valae had always had the tendency to crumble quickly under pressure, but she had wanted to make Arisa proud, and Jyoti’s reassurance meant the world – it warmed her heart. After an unsuccessful attempt to blink back a couple of tears, she used the edge of her sleeve to wipe the corners of her eyes.

“Thanks for understanding,” She said, drawing a deep breath. It felt good to have the issue out in the open now; a fraction of the weight had lifted already. “And you’re right, that’s exactly why I called you here.”

In terms of the Order, Valae had never truly felt comfortable leading such a large organization. Her approach as healer was different; she brought more focus to humanitarian efforts. War was a topic she disliked, for many reasons, but it was unavoidable in these troubling times. Jyoti had become a beacon for most here in the Order, they looked to her for guidance – they would continue to do so.

“Now,” Valae started, finally taking a bite of her cake and paused to chew. “You’ve always been a natural leader… people here already follow your lead. It should be a fairly straight-forward transition; it should be easy for them.” She set her plate down on the table, and sat back in her chair.

“As for you, I think you’ll do just fine. Just keep doing what you have been – teaching, leading missions, and continuing to welcome newcomers into the Order. ” She smiled, “And as for me, I plan to head to Midvinter, but I’m just a call away, should you need me.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

After a heartfelt moment, Jyoti pulled back from Valae, now pacing around the room in silence.

The more she thought about the prospect of becoming Grandmaster again, the less she liked it. Jyoti had a certain role to play within the Silver Order, working in the shadows to get things done. She couldn't function in that role anymore as the public face of the Silver Order.

On a personal level...she wasn't crazy about the idea, either. She had a lot of personal projects going on, which would be much harder to pursue with all the added responsibilities that came with being Grandmaster.

Finally, there was always this creeping paranoia, that she would screw up just as badly as the first time she had become Grandmaster. To be fair to herself, she hadn't been ready the first time, but the Silver Order had become so desperate as to choose a 20-year-old girl as her direct predecessor, so she had to step up. Now, while she had grown, she felt like the SJO had some better options.

She couldn't do this.

"Valae..." she said, pausing in her pacing with her back turned away from her friend. She stood directly within a shaft of light peeking through the curtains, producing a halo effect with her silvery hair and robes. "I shouldn't even be standing here right now. I will serve the Silver Order with my last breath, but I don't think I'm the one become the next Grandmaster. Surely there are other candidates out there? I think that the Grandmaster should be someone more like you. A healer, a diplomat."

[member="Valae Heavenshield"]

 

[Valae Heavenshield]

Valae could sense Jyoti’s hesitance, it was quite visible in the way the Echani moved away and began to pace. Of course, Valae was knew that Jyoti might have some reservations about taking on the mantle of Grandmaster again. But, deep down, Valae knew that Jyoti had grown quite a lot since the last time she occupied the role. Though it was different now, every experience since the holocron’s activation had only added to the already vast knowledge of Arisa Yune. She might not have felt ready, but Valae had a feeling that she was.

Trying to keep any sense of discouragement from showing, Valae watched as Jyoti walked back and forth.

“I understand where you’re coming from, really I do.” She said with a firm nod, and let her eyes meet Jyoti’s. “I really think the Order needs a strong leader going forward. There are other candidates, but…”

Valae sighed, her shoulders hung forward slightly as she pushed the breath out.

“I really do think you are the best option,” She spoke truthfully, “You have the experience, and I believe that you’ll excel at the role. Think about your work as Master of the Order, you are already quite a visible figurehead for us. People already associate you with the Order, that’s a fact.”

Drawing a breath and folding her hands in her lap, she looked hopefully over at Jyoti.

“Now, I won’t force you to do this.” She said gently, “But, please let me know your decision.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

She paced some more silence, thinking about Valae's words. On paper, yes, she was qualified with the experience and temperament for the job, but the paranoia wasn't easy to shake off. Valae was only Grandmaster because of her mistakes the first time around.

After what finally seemed like an eternity to her, she plopped down in her chair, first helping herself to a few more bites to the creme slice presented earlier.

It was very good.

She stopped eating, but still picked at the dessert while she trained her silver eyes on the fork, feeling unusually meek at that moment.

"More than anyone, I count upon you for counsel. I guess if you think that I'm the best for the job, then I'll do it. I think my deepest regret is not trusting you all before I decided to step down..."

She had tried to run away from the Silver Order then and forget about all her problems, even cozying up to the Galactic Alliance back then. Her last operation as Arisa had been as an Alliance officer. That was about as close as she would get to openly admitting that fact, but she figured Valae already had a clue.

"I guess I'm better now...I actually listen to you guys before I go off to do things." She let out a weak chuckle knowing how stubborn she could be. "Alright, so I'll do it like I said. I imagine you have someone in mind to act as Master of the Order in my place?"

[member="Valae Heavenshield"]

 

[Valae Heavenshield]

Valae let [member="Jyoti Nooran"] pace quietly; she didn’t interrupt as the other woman worked through her thoughts and reservations about taking on the role again. Though she’d never planned to do so, she had no ill feelings about having taken up the mantle of grandmaster herself, she’d been honored to do so, even if overwhelmed.

She offered a small smile as her friend began to speak. Indeed, Valae agreed that the counsel was quite a valuable resource. The Assembly members had been ever helpful to her during her own time as grandmaster; the fate of the Order did not rest squarely on the shoulders of only one person, but many.

“Stubborn as ever,” Valae said, grinning. “Keep the counsel informed and involved, you’ll be fine. As I said, I don't think there's anyone else that could serve the Order better.”

As the Silver Jedi Order was such a strong community, she did hold the belief that it was best to keep everyone on the same page, as much as possible. It was true that all decisions, especially the heavy ones, did not flow through the membership at large, this is where the Assembly helped to represent them.

And as for the last piece, Valae sat back and folded her hands for a moment.

“Well, I believe that Master DragonsFlame would do well as Master of the Order.” She said, eyeing her slice of cake again, appetite swiftly returning. “However, the final decision is yours to make.”

Taking her plate up again, she admired the piece of cake that rested upon it. After a thoughtful silence, she took a bite.

“It did turn out rather good, didn’t it?” She said, smiling proudly.