Gravity

[Kaile Vera]

---

He wasn’t supposed to be here.

At first, Kaile thought she was seeing things. The mind had a tendency of fooling her from time to time. It wouldn’t be the first. Sure as goe se that it wouldn’t be the last.

She just never expected it to be so cruel.

“Get in!” the command came along with a rapid jerk of her arm, tugging her into the relative safety of the getaway shuttle. Blaster fire soon cut a strafe across portside, forcing the two two duck their heads amidst the whine of engines that roared to life. Kaile was shoved to the ground, a grunt shooting out of her lips as air was forced out of her lungs. Pain reared its head, but it did nothing to wipe away the scruffy face profile she’d recognize anywhere.

Hair was shorter, a bit shaggier. His jaw a darker shadow than the clean shaven of before. Skin that had seen some sun had weathered, baring a few more small signs of age. The laugh lines were still there, swept against the corner of eyes a hue reminiscent of summer rays upon a verdant canopies of trees.

“Strap up, we’ll be jetting out --”

A half turn and their eyes met, words coming to a halt. Time stopped. For a moment, neither the blaster fire, the incoming First Order soldiers, nor the pressing need of maintaining longevity seemed to matter. Folk say that there are moments in life that seem to sear the very soul. Moments that set a line of demarcation of the time before and after.

The flare of recognition blazed in his eyes. The half cocked grin froze. A medley of emotions swept across [member="Asmus Janes"]’ expression that told the Lorrdian more than she’d ever honestly wanted to know. Not yet. Not now.

Feth.

What Kaile saw in those widening emerald eyes reminded her that no one can run from the past. One way or another, it comes knocking back; and when you least expect it.

Another volley of blaster fire shot right above Asmus’s head, sending sparks and the scent of charred electronics everywhere.

The door slid shut, driven with a great heave by Darek to hold it at bay. A savage grimace snarled its way across his lips. He clutched his arm, the scent of charred flesh joining that of fried electronics.

“GO!” Kaile would yell out at Asmus, breaking the connection as she scrambled over to the wounded agent. Her heart was at her throat, and several curse words fell from her mouth. Time sped up again. There was no time to consider anything but saving their skins.

Or maybe Kaile was just telling herself that.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Heat washed over him as that bolt lanced over his head by just a few inches. Asmus didn’t care, didn’t move an inch. Even across the span of time since their last parting those eyes were all too familiar. She’d recognised him first, could see it clear in the widening of those round orbs.

A shower of sparks, an acrid scent of something burning. Our stars, he thought, still frozen in place. He would burn for her, willingly. That was one fundamental truth that had stayed with him these years. Always the hope had remained that across empty space they would seek each other out and burn brightly together again.

Asmus Janes often caught people off guard with the fierce intellect that hid behind his facade. A talented mathematician and astronavigator. A series of bright dots winked into existence. Facts. A route cut through the cluster. Joining the dots. Flight Officer Janes, publically discharged but secretly flying covert missions for the resistance against the First Order, did not go deep into enemy space to pick up waitresses. Kark. She was a spy.

She was also shouting at him.

Ah, the First Order, yes. Let’s not literally burn.

There was a wild look in his eyes. One she might have seen a hint of when they’d raced away from Kanjiklub during their first encounter. That spark that hid in those gold flames burned far brighter now.

Asmus loved his job. He wasn’t always prone to thinking everything through and right now he was thinking of showing off. He was in the pilot’s chair in a flash. Engines were still burning hot. His fingers danced across the console, bringing up holographic displays and geomodels of the city around them. Time to fly low fast and hard.

“Hold on!” he called as he gunned the engines. The shuttle was modified well above the limitations of the stock model it resembled. Keeping the wireframe model of the city in his periphery, Asmus banked the shuttle hard and slipped between two buildings. Warning alarms blared as the wings came within inches of the old duracrete walls.

Kark. It was her. He dropped the nose to keep them out of sight of the scanners the ship reported were being swept over the city. He glanced over his shoulder, unable to believe his own memory. Kaile was tending to her wounded ally, but she had actually been watching him intently. The moment he laid his eyes upon her she snapped her eyes back to the other agent. She was garbed in simple local attire, much like himself. Dressed to blend in, not to attract attention.

“I didn’t know there was a Yum Bunnies here?” Asmus shouted back. A moment later a red track appeared on his screen. A TIE fighter was skimming over the rooftops, looking for them. A moment later a pair of green bolts skimmed over them and hit a building below. Asmus held his line and turned his attention to the city map. He joined the dots.

He turned the shuttle on a credit chit, cutting through the space between two rows of housing blocks and accelerating hard. People on the ground dived for the floor even if the shuttle kept a few metres above the ground. Asmus cut a hard left around an officer building, the light catching off the glass walls. Instead of carrying straight he turned left again and dropped under a speeder parking lot.

The red track appeared on his screen just a fraction of a second before he pulled back hard on the yoke.
“Ooops!” he called loudly. The TIE fighter appeared for a fraction of a second. As the dorsal armour plating of the shuttle slammed into the underside of the TIE, the delicate fighter came off a clear second best. Its weapons systems were entirely disabled in the brief collision. “One day they’ll let me hide some weapons on this damn thing,” he bemoaned as he arced them up out of the city and towards the upper atmosphere. Trailing a cloud of black smoke the TIE impotently followed, unable to do anything more than observe their escape.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Don’t think. Don’t look. Just.. just…

“Damnit!” Kaile cursed, the mass of black hair sticking to her sweaty cheeks as she loomed over Darek. This couldn’t be happening. This just couldn’t --

“ I didn’t know there was a Yum Bunnies here!?”

His voice cut through the chaotic sounds of turbulence and simply trying to brace herself and her partner so they wouldn’t tumble out.

Asmus.

It was Asmus. No, just.. Don’t, Kaile told herself. It was all she took to keep snapping her gaze up towards the cockpit, where the pilot with shorter dark hair, wild green gold flecked eyes, and that same brash over confident attitude. The sort those flying ace’s had when it came to showing off what they excelled at.

And Asmus was hella good at what he did.

“Medpac… Medpac…” She muttered to herself, whipping around desperately. She barely managed to grab the small kit off the wall and break it open, her fingers were trembling so much. Not much good it did then as the sudden arc drove the shuttle high and up towards the atmosphere. The shift had her back hit the wall, head cracking with a thud. Wasn’t as much as Asmus fault as the fact the espion hadn’t strapped down. Then again, her mind had been on other matters… like Derak and the fact that Asmus Janes is our getaway pilot!

Stars shone in her eyes. Vision blurred. A warm trickle of blood managed to wind down her hair, spotting her First Order uniform.

Everything seemed to cloud in a haze. One last word barely managed to register for the undercover agent before darkness took hold. Was it audible? Or was it her mind playing tricks? It didn’t matter.

Or maybe it did.

Kaile.

 

[Asmus Janes]

His bravado evaporated the moment he looked back. They were in a bad state. Nothing he could do for them now. Couldn’t dare to take his hand from the stick. Lots of different signals were reported to be bouncing off his hull. Despite his stunts they were still being closely monitored. If there were ships ready to be launched he could soon have trouble right on his tail. Had to put aside the images of her walking away back on Denon. Had to keep emotions in check and fly.

That was Kaile back there and she seemed to be out cold.

“Is she alright?” he called back, a hint of panic in his tone. Her partner was quiet. A quick glace told Asmus he was fumbling through the contents of the medpac that had been strewn around the passenger compartment.

“Just get us out of here,” came the terse reply.

---

---

A dark corridor through the bowels of the resistance carrier. She’d bolted as soon a she could, waving away the medics. The scoundrel had given chase. Asmus increased the pace of his steps to pass her, turning and slamming one palm against the bulkhead. As she was brought to a halt his second hand slammed down, caging her between them, Asmus and the wall.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Her breath caught in her throat, and Kaile gave a start. Fight or flight kicked in; not because of fear, never because of that. Never of him.

Always for him. Keep them safe.

Wide hazel eyes met the penetrating green staring down at her, caging her in. Her back to the wall.

She could push him aside, she could grab his arm and lock it back, slam him to the wall. She had the training; but it was the expression on his face that froze her on the spot. Eyes fell, and she jerked her head to the side, staring down the corridor, searching the dark.

 

[Asmus Janes]

"Look at me," he pleaded, voice barely above a whisper. That cocky grin was nowhere to be seen now. The joy of their reunion simmered underneath the surface, but she'd fled the moment they'd touched down. He needed to know why.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

There it was again. The timbre of his voice. The plea lay thickly upon that low hush, a contrast to the position that he held her in. Kaile couldn't help the fall of her lashes, the half shudder as she fought that pull.

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard, mind racing, unable to stop the deep draw of breath that saturated her lungs with the acrid scent of charred blaster residue, blood, and underneath it all, him . Asmus.

Her eyes scrunched shut.

"Move aside."

A pause. "Please."

 

[Asmus Janes]

Silence reigned for a few seconds. Just the low thrum of the engines that surrounded them. The frigate was in cruise mode now, moving through deep space at sub light speeds.

"I don't want to, please don't ask me to let go," he replied. There was a much greater depth beneath those words, yet they also echoed a phrase he'd once used in a cargo bay.

His elbows bent as he closed the distance between them, trying to maneuver himself where she couldn't help but look at him. Everything had changed in her wake. He'd been so confused at the time, caught up in the storm. Yet afterwards it had been so obvious that they'd fallen for each other.

"Look at me," he repeated. Touch me, he thought.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Even with her eyes closed, Kaile could sense him draw near. The tips of her fingers tingled, twitching in their desire to come up. No.. no... if I did that…

It was getting harder, and harder to breathe.

Look at me

Brows knitted tight, and her lips drew thin. I couldn't. I can't.
If'n you keep on lookin' at me like that... I reckon I'll do anythin' yous say...

Stars, she felt the warmth of his breath by her jaw, the kiss of the heat of his body. It was getting warmer. Hot. Nerves were shot and Kaile was just too overwhelmed.

"I need to go." she said as brunette ducked her head, eyes opening to find a measure of safety in the image of dusty boots. Dusty boots.

Why was he here?!

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus sighed. She wouldn't even look at him. The wall, and his own mind, resisted his sweaty palm as it slid down the bulkhead. He removed the arm from her path.

"If you really need to, want to, you can go. Of course."

One corner of his lip twitched upwards, a sparkle returned to his eyes.

"We've got a month in deep space and I know this cruiser like the back of my hand. Come and find me when you have time. Please... Or you can stay."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Her head finally rose, an echo of the past. Stay.

Kaile had been right; it was hard to do anything once she met his eyes. He was closer than she expected, having bent closer to try and catch her gaze. Her eyes traced the contours of his angular face, saw the changes the years had wrought and the tousled, little boy smile that was a constant stamp of the old.

Move, Kaile. Move, the Lorrdian told herself. But she couldn't. She was caught again. Caught in his law of gravity. Drawn in by the glint in his eyes and the temptation to pull him close, hands fisting at her sides.

"I..." even to Kaile, she sounded like a half wit again.

Move Kaile, step away.

Yet there she was, standing in revolution.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus kept one hand by his side. The route was clear; she could escape if she wanted to. She didn't want to go, not really. Asmus clung to that hope as he stepped closer.

Just inches from her now, his breath catching the errant strands of hair. She was watching him now, the conflict clear on her face. He held his position, bottom lip faintly trembling. He dared her to look away.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Stars, he really was here. Standing right in front of her; living, breathing, and burning bright. Just like that, it all came back in flashbacks and echoes. When touching him had been like realizing all she ever wanted was right there in front of her. Burning red with sparks flying.

Kaile knew she had every reason to go. The longer she stayed the more difficult it would become. She was already getting caught up. Already feeling lost.

She didn’t even realize that she was holding her breath until he was close enough for her to feel the exhale of his own, the brief tickle of wayward strands caressing her grimy, sweat slick skin. There was a tiny cut just over her right eyebrow, shrapnel during the extraction. A tiny red line of dry blood had set there. There were other new mars to the topography of her face. A new scar lined just over her chin, pale pink and a shade lighter than her skin, a tiny diagonal slash.

Kaile wasn’t the only one, he too, had weathered changed. The sort that had her hand rising as if to stroke the ridge of his cheek with the pad of her forefinger. A movement she caught as that hand froze mid-air. Her eyes grew wide, and she finally found her breath. Jaw would tighten, and she began to retract her hand. But it was all in her eyes, the war that battled within. Alarm and desperation. Anxiety and need. Trepidation and desire.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus had half closed in eyes at expectation if that touch. He vividly recalled the way she would explore with touch. But that led his mind back to a particular moment. The cool of her palm against his breast, the thrum of her heat under his fingers.

Asmus had intended on being forthright, yet charming. He was overjoyed to find her again, almost overwhelmed by the surge. Things made sense now, in an odd sort of way. She hadn't been avoiding him because she didn't want to see him again. It was because she couldn't. His mind could play tricks on him, but

Asmus preferred to force his neuroticism down in favour of seeing the past and future in a good light. As an agent of the Alliance she must have been trapped on that world, seen Asmus as a route out and a welcome distraction from her personal loss. Yet she'd found more, they'd found more.

He didn't know what the future would bring, never did. He did know the ship was running silent deep in enemy space and had a long trip at sublight speeds to avoid a First Order sensor net. A month, what could they do with a month instead of four days?

Yet that youthful exuberance had left him. All because she had withdrawn that hand. His eyes met hers in desperation, then looked back to the hand.

“Please?” he asked. His own hand came up as if to guide hers back to him, but it hovered a few inches away. This was her decision to make alone.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It was the desperate, strained plea that cut Kaile to the core. The weight and anxious desire for her touch that stretched his skin tight against those high cheekbones, and blazed with emerald fire in the circlets of his eyes.

Please. It was said with his heart in his hand and a telling to the Lorrdian that tugged at the heartstrings and echoed a mirror of the ache in her own. Kaile trembled, barely feeling the hovering warmth of his hand, held in the air beside her own, held in check by a single thread of choice.

Stars, she shouldn't do it. Don't, she told herself. But it was futile and impossible to draw away when all she'd ever wanted was to see him again. Her fingers itched with the desire to map the contours of his face, to feel the rasp of the shadow of his jaw, to hear him murmur her name again…

The heart knows more than the mind, and before she knew it, her hand had crossed the distance between he and she. A calloused palm went hovering up by his face, but it was the gingerly brush of a pad of a finger that made contact along the bridge of his brow. There, it traced the pale sliver of a line of a new scar, one he hadn't before. Warm, delicate brush that caressed in silent affection far more telling than words. Words Kaile couldn't bring herself to say.

 

[Asmus Janes]

As soon as her hand touch him he screwed his eyes shut. The breath he'd been holding slowly escaped. His hand followed hers to lay across it softly as he turned his head into the caress. Her fingers were rougher than they had been, he realised. His own fingers, which brushed the back of her hand, seemed soft by comparison even though he thought they'd grown more calloused. Kairon had always mocked his soft hands.

Everything was silent for a time. Such a tentative first touch after so long apart, yet it meant so much. Eventually he opened his eyes and met hers. She had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. He could have lost himself there or could have settled on full lips that begged to be kissed. Instead he shifted into motion without warning. He'd stepped across her path, but now he closed what distance remained between them. One arm latched onto her waist the other around her shoulders, reaching up to the back of her head and pulling her tight to his chest.

“Kaile,” he whispered, voice hoarse. My Kaileann, he thought to himself.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

He moved so fast.

His fingers sank into the dark rivulets of her hair, dyed a dark brown for her undercover mission. They cradled her head, holding him against his chest, above his heart. His heart thrashing under her ear, absorbing into her skin, his ragged breath drawn in so deep as if to inhale her whole.

Lips brushed her temple, an arm locked and clenched tightly at her waist. Her own arms were trapped between them, caught in the web of Asmus’ arms, cradled against his chest. Kaile couldn’t help it, not when his scent seemed to penetrate he senses, when all she could hear was the hoarse repeat of her name; relief, joy, and a shattered happiness.

Stars, how long had she wanted to hear his voice. To hear him say her name. To have his arms wrapped around her just like this. Always like this.

Kaile choked up, turning her head under his chin, unable to help folding into him as small as she could get. How long he held her, the Lorrdian didn’t know. All she knew is that Asmus Janes was holding her as if he were drifting into the black -- no gravity, no oxygen.

And stars almighty if Kaile wasn’t doing the same.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“I missed you. Can't even say how much,” he whispered. It didn't matter what he said, it rarely did. Their bodies had a way of ignoring their stupid brains and talking directly. It was old, but he could still smell the dye on her hair. It barely detracted from the unbridled joy he felt at drawing in her scent once more. This couldn't be real, for a moment he allowed his mind to start convincing himself that this wasn't real. How many times had he imagined meeting her again, playing out the conversation a multitude of ways.

Not like this though, this wasn't how he had ever expected to find her. Special branch, the boldest undercover operatives they had. Well kark.

Asmus took in a stuttered breath through his nose. Chest felt tight, emotion welled up. Feck, what would anyone think to find them here crying in the corridor?

“We should go somewhere we could be alone,” he said. It felt hard to speak now. The tightness in his chest reaching up his throat and trying to steal his words. There was one thing common to every fantasy reunion he'd played out: the kiss. Years ago they'd been play fighting on the floor of his cabin and he'd lost his resolve. Even then he hadn't realised how deep the affection for Kaile would run before she left. He'd been so carefree back then. Still was, in some ways, but not like he had been then. There was responsibility now, people died if he failed.

His head was moving before he knew it, sliding down until they were cheek to cheek. With a gentle nudge he tried to coax her to turn. Please, he thought, please kiss me.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

“Asmus.” Kaile said his name, out loud, for the first time in years.

No, this can’t be happening. Kaile could practically feel the ricochet of her heart into her throat.

A lightheadedness would have threatened to knock her off her feet had it not been for the strength of his arms and the bulkhead at her back holding her up. If her mind wasn’t going twelve parsecs a minute, she’d do better. She’d be fine. But it was going this way and that way. And this way. And back. They were racing in circles and some were lapping others.

Kaile wanted to push him away. She also wanted to kiss him.

She wanted to disappear but she also wanted him to keep his full-grown man arms around her and let him squeeze her tight until she calmed down. She wanted to feel the stubble on his chin scratch her forehead as he kissed it, and she wanted to feel the brush of his hands as he soothed her soul.

We shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t be doing this.

That chant went hammering through her mind. Telling her that she had to push herself away, that she had to leave. Stars, but the ache in his voice and the strain in the ragged draw of air prevented her from moving. And when he leaned in close, the rasp of his jaw as he hoarsely whispered her name made her buckle at the knees. There was just a hint of it, barely there, or maybe it was just her imagination. The scent of his shampoo in that sharp whiff.

Feth, next time she was at the Arceneau Trade station, she was not walking down the toiletry aisle and uncapping the bottle to get a whiff for the thousandth time. Like a gorram fool.

“I..” gorram it if she couldn’t stop blubbering, feeling the nudge of his jaw, the press of his cheek. What made it worse, was that there was no demand there. No command. Just the half nuzzle and the sudden warmth of his breath just over her chapped lips.

Oh stars.

Like a satellite caught in his law of gravity, there was no changing what came next. Kaile was drawn to him like a moth to the flame, with him here so close and practically a hairsbreadth of distance between them. Couldn’t help it. Not when her body reacted to Asmus with a jolt.

Kaile didn’t know who crossed that last bit of distance. Might have been her. Might have been him. Hell, it could have been their bodies getting fed up with their owner’s and solving it all by themselves; they always had a knack with that.

It wasn’t a soft kiss. Not with half chapped lips and a layer of grit on them, the tang of blaster smoke and maybe a drop of copper from the cut where she had bit herself. But it wasn’t supposed to be. If there was one thing Kaile had learned hard and fast, was that this was no holo tale. It ain’t all about princesses and princes and as perfect as one would dream.

But stars, did it ever felt so gorram right.

It was like a parched man to a pool of crystal water. A cracked earth to a spring rain. Kaile kissed Asmus as if he were the sole source of air in the ‘verse she could breathe.

The reaction was volatile. Even after so many years had passed. Even if four days aint long enough to know someone well. By all intents and purposes, they had been just a couple of strangers passing on through.

Strangers who once loved each other more than two people probably should.

 

[Asmus Janes]

At one point Asmus had hoped that Kaile would reduce to a fond memory. Four days should not have been enough for the ache at her absence to be so acute. Perhaps, he had thought, if that fire burnt itself out to glowing embers he would have been able to remember all those moments and enjoy them without the melancholy that came when he finally convinced himself he was never going to see her again.

The pair had been so still. The calm before the storm. The wave, held in motion before it came crashing down. He pressed her back against the bulkhead, hands roaming over her shoulders and waist. His head turned back and forth as if he could fit every type of kiss they’d ever shared into one frenetic second. A gentle brush of the lips to a deep exploration. He held her, he tasted her, immersed himself in her. One hand lingered at the crown of her head. Odd that his body paused before indulging in running fingers through her hair. Perhaps the intimacy when he had washed her hair in his small room had set the tone for what followed. To do so again felt precious.

He wasn’t sure how long they had been there. Didn’t even notice the pilot who walked past and shook their head at Asmus’ ways, unaware of what this meant to Janes.

Asmus moaned as he pulled away, tugging softly at her bottom lip and cupping her face with both hands. Eyes full of wonder searched her own.

“Is this real?” he asked so softly. “I’ve run this through in my head so many times I can’t help but think this can’t be real.”