Gravity

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

For a second Kaile had almost convinced herself it had all been a dream. That the kiss, his mouth on hers, everything, she was imagining it. Running through it as she had dozens of times before. Each a different variation. A different scene she played over in her head, but the kiss. That kiss and feeling his hands upon her body, holding her tight, pressing her close. Every single time it sent a shiver down her spine, much like it did now. Just the way his fingers slid in a cafune against her hair sent pin pricks down her neck and back. And like a candle held too close to the flame, she melted into him, for every second that passed seemed to breathe new life into her.

Is this real?

Well, that was the problem wasn’t it?

It was real. Really, really, real.

Asmus’ kiss hasn’t changed in years. It still had the power to make her feel weightless and effervescent, to drown out her thoughts and replace them with light, making the rest of the ‘Verse fade into nothingness. By the time their mouths uncouple, Kaile was breathing hard. Her chest heaved. That fine trembling turned to a shake, and goodness did every graze of his fingers against her skin feel electric.

Asmus. Asmus.

Just having him press her against the bulkhead was a flashback to the past. Body pinned, heavy of breath, the look in his eyes that had jump started all the drops of of her blood to chase each other through her veins. It ate away at her self-control.

Kaile shut her eyes, as if his words were sinking into every open wound. Her tongue went raking across her bottom lip, and she breathed him in. A metallic scent fills her lungs. Woodsy, spicy-resinous apple on top of blaster residue, on top of grease.

Stars, how she loved it.

But I can’t.

She moved so quickly, revealing training that the scoundrel never knew she had. That he wouldn’t expect. Up went her arms, a sharp quick tug that would pull his arms away from her. Her eyes shimmered through it all, she couldn’t see. Couldn’t bear to. Not at his face. A thrust and a half shove meant to startle and push him back came next, intended to give them a bit of space. Kaile couldn’t think when he was around back then, and it only compounded in the years they’d been apart.

“I’ve a debriefin’ to go to.” was the only thing she said, half choked as she made to sidestep away from him.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus was startled by the shove, but his body wasn’t. Always whilst his mind was lost in her, they were exchanging information at a physical level. They’d already discovered that they talked across that level in a very similar way to the last time they have been together. Numb lips that relished the taste of her were testament to that. But that wasn’t universally the case.

As she shoved, his right shoulder rolled away, his hand drawing back to his waist and curling into a fist as he took the sting out of the push. In reflex his left arm arced up fast, bent such that his elbow was swinging for her temple. He froze. Asmus was only a pilot, but in Wraith squadron they taught their members the skills they needed for the very real possibility of getting shot down, or cut off during an extraction. An extraction of valuable assets such as Kaile.

He was breathing fast. Ashamed of himself, a little scared. A touch excited actually, mind taken back to that wrestling match back on the Quintessence. He missed that ship. Not like he had missed her.

“Sorry,” he murmured as he stepped back. The kind of people he was sent to pick up would wipe the floor with him if it came to blows. Special operations. Kaile. He was still reeling, struggling to process that. “Go to your debriefing, I shouldn’t have kept you,” he said as he moulded back into the bulkhead. “Find me when you’re done?” he asked, hopefully. She probably wouldn’t. This was a small ship, built for hangar space and stealthy running, not crew space. She couldn’t hide from him the whole trip, especially not with how well he knew the crew.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

I reckon I shouldn’t have been surprised by how quick he moved. Equally so when he stopped. Had he not, all likelyhood things would have turned into something physical, and getting physical was not the sort of thing Kaileann was itching to get reacquainted with. Not when things seemed to set off due to both of their emotions riding high and hot enough to sear the skin.

Red hot ‘nuff to tempt.

That’s all Kaile could think about as she rolled off to the side, his voice a hopeful query in the wind, licking at her wounds and reminding her of all those things that weren’t hers to keep. The shock of seeing him here, on that shuttle, piloting her extraction was still making her reel. Nevermind that this was never the scenario that ran through her mind in the remote chance of seeing him again.


Her boots were heavy as she stormed off, a figure of dyed dark hair and and a blood splattered First Order officer uniform. There was no answer she had for him. Silence and the storm of her footfalls were all she gave. All she could afford. The back of her hand rose, attempting to wipe away the tingle that lingered there. As if the very act could wipe him from her lips, remove his taste from her tongue.

It didn’t.

Foolish boy. That’s what she’d heard the Captain call him once. Nothing but a fool with his heart on his sleeve and that disarming dimpled smile that makes everyone weak at the knees. But a voice in the back of her mind recalls her of that ache that went shooting out of her core a feeling him envelop her again. Of the way his arms had filled her palms. His weight heavier. All of which serves to remind the Lorrdian that he wasn’t a green youth, but a man.

So maybe he wasn’t the foolish one then, she mused as the hiss of a door slid open, her temporary escape from the corridor and her past.

Maybe that’s me.

 

[Asmus Janes]

He watched every stride carefully. With every step he hoped the foot would plant and stay. That she'd turn back to him. His hands twitched, imagining pulling her in close again. Kark, but this all so confusing. As she vanished from sight he frowned, then he smiled.

This was the last place in the verse he'd expected to find Kaile. The waitress who could slice and shoot and travelled around the galaxy. Right. She'd walked away, but she'd kissed him. He'd asked and she'd kissed him. There was nothing to gain by doing that. That look in her eye when she'd first recognised him and the internal struggle that played out across her features suggested this was no act. A spy for the Alliance she might have been, but he'd blindsided. No time to fit a mask. If he gave her too much time, would that change? He wondered. Would she lie to him, push her feelings deep down for the sake of her career. Probably, he decided. The way she'd looked at him, kissed him, she'd been lying to herself for some time. Not a single message in the years since he saw her last.



“I cannot believe you rammed a TIE fighter Janes!” Wilson called over the sound of rushing water.

“He did as well, I saw the state of the shuttle!” Chad added with a chuckle.

“You should have seen the other guy,” Asmus added. He leaned back into the shower, letting the water run through his hair. It had been so much longer then. He missed his long hair, but it really wasn't practical. “Question,” he called out as he leaned forward. The cruiser was built for stealth. Between the engines, sleek profile and hangars there wasn't much room for crew. Low ceilings, awkward spaces and communal showers were the norm.

“Yeah?” Wilson replied.

“The operatives we pick up and drop off, they tend to stay on B deck right?” Asmus grabbed his hair conditioner. Out here in enemy space, he was running out of the good stuff.

“Yeah, rooms twenty to thirty,” Wilson replied.

Chad cackled. “Incorrigible!” he laughed. “Those types will chew you up and spit you out Janes. You watch yourself.”

“Anyway, cards later?” Wilson asked as he turned his shower off.

“I think I might go for a run,” Asmus replied. He smiled a private smile. They just thought he'd found a new distraction to pursue. They didn't know. He could have told them. That he'd found that Kaile. Oh how they would have reacted to that. But this was a small ship. The gossip would have spread quickly, they'd have been under close scrutiny. Neither of them needed that.



http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/actor-ben-barnes-is-photographed-for-interview-magazine-on-december-1-picture-id468164436

He leaned back against the bulkhead, crossing his arms over his chest as she approached. She'd spotted him, he saw the look flash across her face. Small ship, there weren't many corners to hide in. She didn't need to know that the sheen of sweat was because he'd been running these corridors for nearly an hour hoping to catch her out of her cabin. He'd been about to give up as well. He saw the alteration in her stride length as she saw him.

“Hey you,” he called out. Now, had she had enough time to get the mask back on. Was this just setting himself up to fail, he mused. It had hurt last time. Genuine pain like he'd never felt for the absence of another. Would it be worse if she turned away now than the mystery he'd come to half-accept. It didn't matter, once he'd picked a course, Asmus stuck to it.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

​

It was hard to look at him. Standing there, skin slick with sweat and seemingly as casual as ever. That time before barely had enough of a chance to get a good look at him; she’d been too preoccupied trying to leave. Hours later that still hadn’t changed. Meeting his gaze was hard. Registering how good he looked even harder.

Her gaze swept over him, taking him in, each step bringing with it a new revelation. His shoulders were broader than they used to be. There was a hint of stubble on his chiseled face, still all angles, but more defined. The hollows of his cheekbones were deeper than ever. He had a full head of thick, dark hair, cut shorter than before. Where it once nearly brushed his shoulders, it now curled by hid ears. It’s messy; a sexy tousled mop, as if he’d ran his hand through it far too many times. Not to mention that his face had enough of a five o’clock shadow to tell her that either he didn’t care anymore about that straight edge shave, or he’s a man with other priorities. Kaile didn’t know if she wanted to know what those where, who that could very well be.

Leaning all casual there, he didn’t look a lick nervous. And if his heartbeat was beating in his chest as hard as her own, he certainly didn’t seem to show it. Asmus Janes was no longer that twenty year old she met years back; and it only made it all the more difficult to take in.

Dark hair swayed with every slow step. Those brown toffee eyes caught sight of deep green from under that straight slash of thick bangs. It was Kaile he would see; but it also wasn’t. Perhaps taking some time away to let the haze of shock and overflowing emotions would allow him to catch the finer details of the familiar stranger standing in that corridor.

That de-briefing had taken the bulk of the day, with Resistant officers and Admiral Cherak. Needless to say, it was a good thing that she had eidetic memory. Otherwise, she would have made herself more of a fool than she already had.

Questions had been repeated, and more than once she was caught off-guard, as if in a haze. Her mind had gone back to the man she had left in that corridor. To the one who still made her lips tingle and her heart kick in her chest. Why was he here?

She could keep asking the same question, but it was evident by the fact he’d been part of the extraction team that he was part of the Resistance. Last she checked, he had been assigned to a squadron in the Alliance. Clearly that wasn’t the case any more...

Kaile hadn’t had a chance to hit the refresher. Her face was grimy, a smear of dried caked blood along her right cheekbone. In the weathered First Order Officer Uniform, she appeared to be a stranger. A completely different person. That is, until you caught her eyes. There were just some things that could not be changed. Shoulders rose, and she took a breath. One could see her mentally bracing herself, watch the fluidity of her stance take on a much more comfortable stance. At least, that was her attempt to.

The Lorrdian could hide many things, play many roles. Yet being in the same vicinity as Asmus Janes was enough to set her in an uneasy clash of emotions. Her fingers itched, and she curled them against her thumbs to rub against them, needing to keep them busy. She could hardly think when he was standing there, looking at her like that.

“You shouldn’t be here.” she told him plainly. Perhaps that had more than one particular meaning. A step forward, and she mentally told herself to keep her calm. Breathe. Relax. Try not to think of how much you want simply slip into his arms.

I’m an idiot.

Her lids fell in a seemingly half relaxed state, fully intending to walk past him towards the second door to the left. This deck may be for the special agents; but they were not granted any perks beyond what the others on board had. Tiny cabins were exactly that, with a common area for a refresher. Her partner was currently in med-bay, and would be there for a while until he healed from his wounds. They had a month before she transferred out to another objective.

“This is a restricted area.” she added, attempting to keep her voice level and steady. The drawl he’d be familiar with was not there. Perhaps in an attempt of distancing from the Kaile he had once known. Maybe if I could just pretend…

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Didn't even let you get out of that wretched thing before the debrief eh?” he asked rhetorically. “You've been planetside awhile. "Dishonorably discharged" Rogues like me only get level two, but we've got a waiver for third compartment information on a need-to-know basis. Besides, I've always had good luck crossing into zones I'm not supposed to be in.”

He thought back to becoming his younger self. The swell of pride when the maintenance hatch to the restricted area opened up before him. It was hard to recall how he must have thought and felt when he first saw her at the bar in the quarantine zone. It was buried beneath the way he'd come to look upon her during that trip, the surge of emotions at their parting. Once you came to look at someone a certain way there was a quality, a timbre to the memory of them. No matter what memory you looked at, it was put through the filter of the emotional tie. Not just memories, he felt it so acutely as he laid his eyes upon her now.

The change in accent wasn't lost on him either, but it was no deterrent. Kaile, if that was her real name, could try and act the part all she wanted to. Her body had spoken to him of its own volition. It didn’t matter which accent was real or what part of her was act or not to him. It mattered that she’d let him kiss her. And that she was here. Right here. Walking past him and trying so hard not to look at him as she went. The black hair dye was a little strange to reconcile. Actually the cut quite suited the shape of her face and those wide, brown eyes.

His heart fluttered a little as he realised she was going to walk right past him. With a quick jerk he pushed himself off the bulkhead, uncrossing his arms and running one hand through his tousled hair as he fell into step beside her. He could feel her react to that, perhaps a slightly stiffer gait followed.

He was grinning. For all the pain that had followed her departure seemed to fade into the murky past now he’d found her again. “You can smile you know. I never thought I’d see you again. Makes sense now I guess,” he said. It occurred to him that he’d just put more words together than she’d managed to offer him since they’d run into each other, literally, on his shuttle.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Yup. Casual conversation. Right. Okay, I can work with this, Kaile mused, although there was no missing the slight stiffness of her stride when he fell in step beside her. All she had to do was get into her cabin, close the door, and that would hopefully be the end of it.

Unlikely, a voice in her head warned her. Especially when he continued with the bit about how he thought he’d never see her again. That was the point, she mused, yet that did not stop the slight ache in her heart when he so casually said it. There was a buzz in him, that excitement he typically carried. That easy going, jovial manner that radiated from back then. Granted, there was nothing laissez faire about Asmus with what he was doing now.

Interfering.

“This isn’t the place.” she told him curtly, avoiding turning to him as she came to a stop in front of her cabin. Darek was stabilized, but would require medical surveillance until he was fit for duty again. Her hand came up, tapping a quick key combo. Something to keep her mind off the brief glance at his heart-stopping grin and the way he was not so subtly studying her. As if trying to reconcile an image of the past with the present, but still delighted none the less.
‘Makes sense now I guess’

Her finger half froze for a second. Makes sense now. For a moment she was taken back to the countless times she hovered over the contact requests, the messages half written only to be deleted. The times she sank in her emotional rollercoaster to skim over his social media pages, click on every hole picture, watch him live his life.

He was happy.

Nothing there said otherwise. His time in the academy had been filled with adventure, a few bits of mischief, but otherwise he was as brilliant as she had thought he would be. Following that, his tenure in the Alliance as a starfighter pilot brought him many decorations; granted, more than a few of those had been the result of something reckless. Foolish, but brave.

Every matter of evidence told her that he was doing great. From holo pictures to the rather flirty back and forth public banter, and everything else in between. Kaile wasn’t an idiot.

Asmus was doing more than alright. I made the right choice.

Swallowing hard, her hair gave a slight sway as she completed the key code. The door slid open with a hiss, revealing a similar tiny floor plan much like Asmus’ own.

“I am sure you have your own de-brief to report to, Captain.” A tell perhaps, in what she knew about him. Brace yourself, Kaile. She finally tipped back her head and caught his gaze. It hits her as her eyes lock into his just how much she missed him.

It took all she had to say the following.

“This is the first time in months I am on a Resistance ship.” her voice attempted to remove the subtle quiver it contained, but not quite hiding it. Goodness, he was so close. Her fingers curled tighter, and she swiveled her dark head to step inside.

“I just want to be left alone.”

Something she told herself so many times that she almost believed it.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus’ expression darkened as he stepped into the room behind her. He didn’t even think about crossing that threshold, his mind was too busy trying to keep up. “Debrief is already done,” Asmus murmured without thinking. It was clear from his tone that it was an autonomic response.

It hurt a little, the way she tried to brush him off so curtly. It took a moment for Asmus to stop reeling and to realise that she was fighting herself as much as she was attempting to put some distance between them. She was always so guarded, why couldn’t she just open up for a few minutes?

“I can go,” he offered, not even noticing the door slide shut behind him. “Look we’re going to be on this ship a few weeks at least, on the go slow in deep space. Please, do me the courtesy of just answering some questions. Or even, just talk to me for a while. If not now, later. I’m sorry I should have given you a bit of space to work this out. My head’s just...well it’s all over the place right now.”

Yet he didn’t give her much space. Less than a meter between them. Standing side on to her, he could just see her profile through her hair. His own hands flinched, they wanted to touch her again, draw her own hands to him and see if she would draw little doodles over his skin like she used to. His expression was constantly shifting, his breathing erratic and he barely stood still as he watched her intently.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Her sharp inhale of breath was audible as she felt herself get antsy. Her head dipped, profile to him as she felt as if the cabin suddenly jumped a few degrees in Celsius. She was trying hard to not look at him, to keep her bearing, to stick with the little plan she half concocted out of her ass in the middle of her de-brief. Just play it cool, tell him to go and leave her be, and do her damnedest to avoid him.

It pained her, hearing him ask for the courtesy of answers to his questions. Kaile knew he deserved them, but that only opened up a can of mynocks. It was another kettle of Giju she wasn’t willing to dive into. It hurt.

“It’s been years,” she began, dropping her gaze to start unbuttoning the double breasted jacket. Had to because they were starting to tremble again. She had to hide it. The accent shifted, contractions were being used again. A half spin on the sole of her boot and she began to walk away, setting as much space between them as she could. As if that were possible in the tiny cabin they were in.
“There ain’t much to go over.” a lie.

 

[Asmus Janes]

With pursed lips Asmus looked down at his feet. One started to move and he followed just one step before bringing himself to a halt. There was a battle. He couldn’t just go and offer to give her space and then follow her like a lost bantha calf. He felt drawn to her, even knowing that she might just burn him.

“If you think the answers are easy, then let’s just get to them. Now or another time,” he said. The second sentence was barely above a whisper. He was starting to worry that she would say whatever it took to get him to leave her alone. Would she do that? Would she hurt him that way? She already had, he realised. He needed to know that it hadn’t been easy for her. This clearly wasn’t, so it couldn’t have been when she didn’t contact him. She’d asked him to love her...and he had.

Damnit, he reprimanded himself as he realised he’d shuffled even closed again. Once more back to less than a metre between them. This was unfair of him, some part of him knew. Yet he couldn’t let her go, not again. If she’d made the conscious decision to avoid him before, she would likely do the same again if left to her own devices.

“I’m going to be here, fighting for the resistance,” he whispered. “And so are you. It was hard...to try and convince myself, lie to myself that I hadn’t fallen in love with you. To try and make it hurt less. It was almost possible. The reality of that lie went away about two femtoseconds after I recognised you.”

Asmus wasn’t looking down any more. He didn’t move in front of her so he couldn’t see the expression she was keeping from him, but he could try and read her body language for her reaction.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“Why does it even --” the low hush of her question was cut off by what Asmus said next. Tension grew tight along her limbs, and her hands shook as they curled around the halves of her double breasted jacket. It lay half open, white undershirt underneath. Time seem to slow for her again, his voice closer than before; pained in its confession.

Why did he have to say that? Why? A fine trembling shook her, and she dipped her head again. Eyes would squeeze tight, and she struggled to breathe, to control the kicking of her heart as it seemed to thunder in her head. She had everything planned. She was going to keep her cool. Tell him to go. Leave it at that. She could do it. She’d played hundreds of roles in her lifetime, acted the part and made it believable.

With Asmus she found herself failing. Unraveling, as if every word he spoke just went crashing against her defenses. He had done it back then, still could now.

“It was just four days…” maybe, maybe if she just focused on the facts. But her voice cracked, she was struggling. Trying to reason what she had told herself countless of times before.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Just four days and I’ve never stopped thinking about them.” He was close. He saw loose strands of her hair sway with his breath. “The first and last times I ever made love to someone,” he confessed. “Do you ever find yourself going back to those four days, or was it easier for you try and try and convince yourself that you hadn’t loved me?”

He could see her hands shake. Before he knew it one of his was reaching out, but it stopped just a few inches away. Once more their bodies tried to communicate whilst all their brains and mouths did was get wrapped up and waste air. His hand knew that it could hold hers and calm that trembling.

“You remember what I talked about before we left? That I would never regret meeting you, that I would always choose that option again if I went back. It’s the same now. No matter what, I’m glad I got to see you again. Because I was always worried that you hadn’t contacted me before…” His breath shuddered to a stop. He couldn’t say it.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

‘Or was it easier to try and convince yourself that you hadn't loved me?’

“Asmus, please…” her voice was hoarse now, barely above a whisper. Memories flooded. Joy. Agony. Sorrow. That horrible sense of falling into the black and unable to see the light of the stars.

Stars, he had no idea. No Clue. It was just so easy for him. The tears she was trying to hold back behind her shut eyes beading at her lashes. Was it easier? No. It was hard. Difficult. It hurt. But she had to. Had to. Kaile had often gone back to those four days and also fought a bitter internal battle to try and forget them. Forget them as Kurt made his new life. As different arms and nameless faces did not come even close to the rapture she had found in Asmus’ arms. As things began to unfurl. As it all came rebounding back from a sharp joy to bitter tears.

He said things so easily but didn't know the truth. Every single step, every day, had been a turbulent affair.

Feth, she could feel the heat radiating from him; and she couldn’t move. Her body wouldn’t let her. Breathing became erratic and Kaileann tried her best to try and find something, anything to get herself back in control. She didn’t have to answer him, her body language said enough to answer his questions.

It hadn’t been easy.

Not for Kaile.

Not for what they lost.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Those last few inches were slowly covered until his fingers reached into her palm. He held her hand so delicately, as if it would break at his touch. He could see the pain in her body language, more than he'd even expected to uncover.

“Sorry. I know I should give you space and time. But you’re here…” as he spoke he squeezed her hand, as if to confirm she wasn’t illusion. The joy was evident in the last few words, the pitch of his voice rising. “You’re here,” he repeated more softly. Even closer now, his breath fell on her neck. The scent of her hair was so intrinsically tied to memory that several came flooding back. “I want to hear you laugh again.” The admission was sudden, triggered in an instant by a memory.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Gravity.

The closer he came, the more Kaile was drawn into his law of gravity. She felt her body intrinsically lean towards his direction with every second that passed. When his hand slipped to hold her own, she froze, her breath catching at her throat. That squeeze bore witness again to the fact that he was here with her, with the same stunned surprise that her own mine was trying cope with.

Goosebumps ran along arms at the sensation of his breath at her neck. Imagination kicked in and memories overlapped against the present. So many memories. Of her. Of him. She couldn’t help the tightening of her own grasp against his. To feel the search of fingers until they slid against the sensitive valleys of her own.

Opening her eyes, Kaile found herself slowly swiveling her head over her shoulder. There, from under that thick fringe of bangs, large brown eyes finally met his. In them Asmus could see her struggle. The longing battling the rationale part of her that knew she should not venture down this path again.

“I--” she tried to talk. To say something again. What she should say. But he was so close. Close enough to touch. Much like she had dreamt about dozens of times before, where his voice still floated by the shell of her ear, husky and low.

Kaile, my Kaile.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“It’s alright Kaile,” he sighed. His right palm met the small of her back and slid around the rest on the curve of her right hip. “I ask too much of you too quickly. This…” he started, looking around them. “This resistance. We’re not fighting a war in the usual way. We don’t know for sure we’ll win. We take chances, we take risks and we keep winning. I want you to take a chance on me. Because I don’t like what I see down the safe path of staying away and pretending that there’s nothing here,” he squeezed her hand, the finger of his right gave a subtle tug, “for either of us.”

His chest felt tight once more, breathing wasn’t easy. He wanted to pull her in, experience the full range of contact again. The tip of his tongue ran across his lips as his eyes traced her whole face. Drawn to those hazel orbs, his pulse raced at what he saw. That struggle. She wanted him, she felt she couldn't have him. Her hands knew, they reacted so easily to his touch. Just a slight movement and his right hand would snake around her waist and pull her tight.

So many times he had imagined this plating out in his mind. When he’d been lonely, down or just needed a fantasy. She would catch his eye from across the diner, dressed in one of those chain outfits they wore. She certainly hadn’t been wearing a first order uniform caked in grime and blood. And why had he gone for a run again? He could smell the musky scent of himself too.

But the truth he’d really imagined over the last few years was Kaile with Kurt a pair of children running around their ankles. That, or that she was dead. He could picture no other eventuality where she chose not to contact him.

Asmus liked the grimy reality

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Tiny tremors consume her body. Little beads of buried emotions all came rupturing to the surface at once. Kaile couldn’t stop them if she tried.

Her body reacted to his touch again with a jolt, her neck careening up to stare at him. A mess of those loose strands of dark hair sticks to her face. She still smells of blaster fire and sweat, much like his musk that tickles her nose. All male. All Asmus.

And all she could think about was how surreal it was to be this close to him again. How wrong it was. How he shouldn’t be here on so many levels, and how she couldn’t seem to step away. He was doing it again. Drowning her senses in that heady manner he had done before. He spoke of the Resistance. Of taking chances. Of not playing it safe.

But playing it safe was all Kaile had known all these years. After everything that had occurred and the aftermath between.

With all her internal musings and struggles, she didn’t register how her torso turned towards him. Or how she seemed to melt again in his embrace. When he drew her tight, she took in a sharp breath, breathing him in, her free hand finding itself perched right over his heart. That thin fabric a meager barrier to the staccato underneath. Another flashback, his hand over hers. The length of his hair falling close to her face, tickling her cheeks, the way he’d asked her if she ever felt this way before.

She hadn’t then. Hadn’t again since. Not until today. But things are rarely that simple.

Or were they?

 

[Asmus Janes]

His eyebrows drew up and together as he looked down at her hand. Asmus froze as her regarded where it lay. He pulled his hand back from hers and it crossed the space between them. Her jacket was open, his hand fell between her breasts to feel her pulse. It raced as his did.

He looked up slowly, until he met her eyes once more. A smiled crept onto his face. His chest rose and fell beneath her hand as moisture welled in his eyes. This memory stood out as much as any other. He knew what followed. Their hands stayed in place as he tugged her closer, until he could feel her breath on his lips.

The black hair, the First Order uniform, it all faded into the background. There was only Kaile. Nothing else mattered, not the separation in time not those last inches of space between them.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Everything was a haze again.

It was the look in those verdant eyes; eyes that were the color of a forest under the summer sky. and as fathomless as either. Words rose from the past, drifting across the black to take her to another time where she’d said she’d do anything if he kept looking at her like that. Truth be told, that no longer applied. She’d do anything just by simply having him near.

Kaile’s eyes closed, as if Asmus’ regard was sinking into every open wound. Her tongue went raking across her bottom lip, and she couldn’t help but breathe him in. Just having his body pressed to hers was eating away at her self control. The only thing she ever wanted, his lips just inches from hers.

Before she knew it, both of their arms folded, caught between their chests. Her face went tilting upwards, and that distance was cut short. The press of her forehead against his, a soft caress that bridged what came next. Tentative, as if he would disappear. As if it was all a dream. Maybe that was the reality of it. Maybe she was dreaming all of this, cooked up in the chaos of the extraction from First Order space. Maybe she was unconscious, and all of this was just a figment of her imagination. A cruel, cruel twist of her imagination.

That desperation came out in a half whimper against Asmus’ lips, her fingers curling into a tight fist against his chest. A tear came rolling down the corner of her eye and carved a path into her temple. All the while her heart raced, thumping out to the cadence of his name.

Asmus.

Asmus.

Asmus.

 

[Asmus Janes]

His eyes followed suit. One sense removed and the others heightened. Perhaps, he thought, that was simply the build of expectation and nothing to do with closing his eyes. He felt the hairs down his arms and across the back of his neck stand on end.

Ever so cautiously he closed the distance. He felt the cool press of her forehead against his, their lips still apart by a hair’s breadth. The particles of dust across her skin felt rough, her breath was not steady. He slipped his hand down from her shirt to join the other on her waist. For nearly a whole second he just held there, revelling in the feel of her pressed against him, breathing her in.

“Kaile,” he whispered. He still didn’t know if that was her real name. A slight cant of his head and she broke first. A tentative kiss, barely a brush of the lips. Yet he felt some of the tension leave him. For all her attempts to make him leave and each time she’d turned her back on him, they’d ended up here. In such proximity they could do nothing but fall together.

It seemed as if his heart skipped a few beats and then raced to catch up. Little tingling sparks danced across his lips where she had touched so briefly. He’d come to talk, but the endeavour was forgotten as she accepted him again. Self control faded and soft moan escaped his lips before her drew her back. There was nothing tentative about the second collision. Arms, much thicker than when Kaile had been wrapped in them on the Quintessence, held her tight. The flat of his tongue drew across hers as he pulled her whole body against his. One foot pushed between hers, the left sliding up outside hers as he tilted her back at the waist. Years of barely repressed emotion swelled to the surface and those long burning embers stoked again as he kissed her with a fiery passion.