Gravity

[Asmus Janes]

“Yeah, let's. And it's alright,” he said as he stepped back, pushing off the doorframe to let her through. “I was more impressed than anything else, that's a neat trick. Caught my ithorian partner in crime off guard. He won't be crossing your path any time soon, but we'll say no more,” he spoke, catching sight of a pair coming towards them.

He wondered how much of her life was like this. Meandering from one sensitive conversation to the next, hushed whispers - or silence - in between. The infiltration would take up a lot of her time. Wearing masks. It all felt a bit lonely when he considered it.

But I'm here now.

“I'm sorry for the quality of caf, to pick something mundane for an apology. I did try and get better but the animals ruined the cafetiere and milk frother with a combo of neglect and mould.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

“I’ve had worse,” she managed to say with a half smile and a shrug of her right shoulder. Thankfully he was no longer leaning against her doorframe. The way he had seemed to dwarf her small doorframe, regardless on how lean he was. He was no longer the lanky, wiry boy she’d met years ago. A bit of bulk had settled in with the tone.

Hands free and needing something to keep them busy, they came up to tuck strands of dark hair behind her ears. This brought her face back into view despite the slash of bangs that hung over her eyes. The blue of her blouse almost making her honey coloured skin pop with vibrancy.

“Caf is caf. “ she shut the door closed behind her, watching it slid shut then beep with the security lock. “As long as I have something sweet with it, it’s fine.”

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Hmm, but on the Rebels Hope we got good caf,” he bemoaned. She'd see that spark on the gold flecks of his eyes. Thinking of the sensation of her hair running between his fingers, he took in a deep breath and turned towards the small kitchen.

She would let him wrap her in his arms later, he hoped. Let him pull her in tight and bring all those vivid memories rushing forth.

“I hear the First Order only drink tea, with sugar cubes made of condensed xenophobic tears?”

As they walked towards their destination she might note the fingers of his hands danced at his sides. The treacherous digits needed to be kept busy.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“Which is why they never run out of sugar cubes,” she managed to easily quip back, antsy hands finding their way into her pockets to prevent them from gesturing wildly. A faint smile and a nod was given at the pair walking in their direction. It was mirrored, but the pair knew Asmus. There was a quizzical glance at his presence, but it wasn’t enough to prompt them to stop and check. Those who were here were allowed for a reason; few would dare come into the restricted area unless they were looking to get a dressing down from the Captain…as Asmus had found out.

“ The tea is grand though!” she admitted with an honest tone. While Kaile enjoyed her caf, she also had a penchant for tea. There isn’t anything one could do wrong with tea, which is why she always had a tin of her favorite with her.
Coming up to the stairwell, Kaile gave a gesture for him to take it or head towards the lift.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus turned into the narrow stairwell. In a cramped stealth ship like this one they didn't spare much room for moving between decks.

“Think they usually serve some tea during the afternoon,” Asmus said, furrowing his brow as he tried to recall if this was actually the case.

“Amazing people don't go for a jog down these halls more. So few long straight corridors on this ship. Especially without things coming down from the ceiling that tall people can crack their heads on,” he said, speaking with the voice of experience.

It occurred to him that even with occasional brain stumbles this was the longest they'd just talked. They hadn't really talked about the past, or what they were going to do about them. He didn't know she was still trying to decide whether to flee at the first opportunity

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Kaile tucked her hands back into her pockets. Tiny stairwells had the tendency to be cramped already, and the last thing they needed were to bump into each other on the way to Deck C. Kaile kept a low jog pace as she took the stairs one step at a time, hair swaying with each descending step.

“Sounds like your head had some personal experience with those bulkheads,” the quip was lightning fast, falling in pace with her movement. One more round of the stair well and they’d reach the exit.

“I reckon folk do -- at least, in other stairwells.” Deck B was still off limits after all. It was relatively quiet in the stairwell save for the hum of the air recycler. Automatic lights would sense movement and flicker on, a way to still save power on the ship.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Yup. Nearly knocked myself clean out.” Admittedly he'd been looking at a group of junior officers at the time and smiling at them. The embarrassment had been far worse than the pain of the injury, even if he'd stumbled back to the med bar slowly.

“You know I never got to serve on one of the big destroyers. I hear those things have high ceilings and wide corridors…”

He turned out of the stairwell towards the little kitchen space. He opened the pair of cabinets opposite them and went up on tiptoes, bringing his arms up over his head to sort through the top shelf and look for tea. His shirt was right around shoulder muscles he hadn't owned back on the Quin.

“Aha,” he called triumphantly, bringing down a plastic tub if tea bags.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


Whatever Kaile was going to say seemed to get stuck in her throat. Watching him reach up and seeing the flex of sinew and muscles under the casual dress uniform was, well, distracting. Her mind went back to when her hands had surveyed the differences in the brawn he’d developed in the years past. Fingers began to twitch again and her mouth went dry.

“Umm..” she could remember the heat of his skin, how he had flexed with every --

“That’s great,” Kaile barely managed to croak out, bringing her hand up to her mouth to clear her throat with a cough. Immediately those chocolate brown eyes went panning around the kitchenette towards the sonic washer. By now the cups she’d placed their earlier would be clean. Finding a mighty fierce need to keep her hands busy, the Lorrdian took to gathering fresh mugs for them both.
“Reckon tea for me this time.” every motion was an extension of the young agent. From the way she bent to take fresh cups to the stretch on tippy toe to gather more sugar packets. Setting them down in front of her, she turned towards the caf machine to make a fresh cup.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus poured a dash of cold water into a mug and added a teabag. The kitchen had one if those water heaters that seemed to keep water hot enough to melt durasteel. He wasn't really a tea person, but he knew not to burn it.

Leaning back against the counter he waited for the tea to brew and the caf to pour.

“You know, I don't think we even talked about this ship. You ever been in her before? What other Alliance ships have you been on recently?” It seemed a fairly innocuous question to Asmus, nothing too sensitive. Hard to find something to say when he wanted to shout that he'd always looked back to those days despite every attempt to look forwards. To ask if she did the same.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“Once prior.” Kaile replied, watching the putter of the dark brew fill Asmus’ cup. “A few carriers, but that was years ago.” with going deep into First Order territory, it meant that she saw more of the smaller vessels than the larger flagships of the Alliance or the Resistance.

“Reckon my path rarely crosses anything larger than this nowadays.” a little bit more information about the Lorrdian and her lifestyle. What she typically saw and where it took her. Wasn’t much, but it was a start.

“It’s less the ships and more the people I see--- like Captain Amadgener and Lieutenant Vo,” A small shake of the packets of sugar gave a slight flapping sound. Then came the rip of the protective cellophane and she poured in the sugar.

 

[Asmus Janes]

He nodded as she spoke, a visible twitch of his lips at the Captain's name. How unfortunate he seemed to imply. When she turned away he studied to lines if her body. She had slightly more muscle tone on her than before. The difference was more subtle than the way he'd changed. Perhaps her shape was less for the Yum Bunnies patron and more for physical training.

As he stepped around her to get some milk his hand brushed the small of her back. Treacherous thing. She would hear a stuttered, sharp breath out.

Feth, I just want to touch her again.

“So Jarrick has the Quin now. Mal and Kairon have… five ships between them now? They're doing good business moving weapons where the Alliance needs them, as well as a remarkable amount of legitimate trade. How white do you have your tea? Sugar?”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

His stuttered exhale mirrored the sharp inhale of her own. Kaile half froze, chest rising as cool air filled her lungs. It was but a graze yet the brunette could feel how her skin seemed to tingle right where he'd brushed it.

“Sugar is fine.” She managed to say, trembling fingers hiding by tightening around the hot cup of caf she’d been pouring for him. “Not as much as in caf.” Kaile added, gathering her bearings while she tried to push back the thought of how easy it would be to be plopped on top of the counter. Sonic washers came to mind--

“Trade you,” she quickly offered, sliding his caf over to him so she could take her own cup of tea. It reminded her a bit of the Messa, and a far more sobering thought wondered how her pilot was doing.

“Sounds like things are goin’ well for your uncle.” Although Kaile had known about the expansion of Kairon’s business. Checking in over the years had given her that much.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The scoundrel took the offered mug. Their eyes met and he held her gaze for a fraction of a second before his darted down into the depths of his drink. A small, almost embarrassed smile formed on his lips.

She might wonder why. It was, once again, just the dawning realisation that she was truly here. Back for a time. Not long, not if she ran, but even then it was more than four days. Planning out a mission felt in many ways the same as checking the secondary power couplings for micro fractures.

“I've missed you.”​

“...I didn’t expect you to.” ​

“I did miss you,” he admitted suddenly. There was no one nearby to hear his sudden confession, to hear how the tone of his voice conveyed just how much he had. Asmus looked up at her. He didn’t know if he said it because he wanted her to tell him the same, or simply to reiterate the statement because of how she had reacted last time. As if she couldn’t believe him. Or if she had simply convinced herself that he couldn’t miss her.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Her knuckles became white with how tightly she held her tea cup. That nervous flutter went washing from head to toe, bathing her in that stinging hot sensation of trepidation, anxiety, and the conflicting crash of emotions. Asmus had turned away when he’d confessed anew how much he had missed her, but it was Kaile who couldn’t seem to glance away once he had.

It was etched across his face how much he had. In the slight hitch of his voice, the certainty and emotionally saturated tone. It was as if he wanted it to be clear, to have Kaile understand. The conversation days past when he’d told her the same bloomed in her mind. How her response to that had been that she didn’t expect him to.

It had been what the Lorrdian had told himself time and time again.

“I..” her throat felt tight and her lips suddenly dry. Swallowing hard, the brunette let her eyes fall to her tea. Despite this, she could still picture in her mind the swarthy profile of the man who stood beside her. This close, she could almost feel the warmth of his body. Or maybe that was just play in her imagination, feeding off the desire to cross the distance and hold him close.

[SIZE=10.6667px]“I missed you too.” [/SIZE] it was a hoarse confession. Barely above a whisper and it visibly cost her to admit it aloud, much the less to Asmus himself. Her shoulders rose with the deep breath she took. The kitchenette walls were suddenly smothering.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The lump in his throat refused to budge when he tried to swallow it. Bringing his mug up to his lips, he held it there longer than necessary, hiding behind the ivory shield. Why had he asked this here?

“Thank you,” he replied, voice wavering. “I didn’t… didn’t think that it would be so easy to say it but to hear it back…” Not so easy to take in my stride...

With a sigh he stopped hiding and placed the mug down on the surface next to him and met her gaze. Hearing her admit that - not matter how quietly - it shook him to the core. It changed everything. Made it all real, tangible, that she might have stayed, would have wanted to see him again. His eyes glistened as he tried to imagine these last few days from her perspective and his dogged resolve to be with her.

“Sorry. I talk easy. Always have done. If you need me to give you space, or just to shut up, I will.” He smiled that boyish smile she had come to know so well. “But I’m glad you missed me.”

His eyes darted for the door again, he listened for anyone nearby. His feet took half a step in her direction before he’d even noticed.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

There was such vulnerability in his voice among that little boy smile, as if attempting to reassure and apologize all at once. The emotion that spilled out from eyes was too much, and Kaile once again focused on her tea. It would have been a very good time to tell him that as long as they kept on going how they’d been, it was okay. She could work with this; I can handle this. If they vacillated between professional courtesy and casual conversation, Kaile would be able to maintain that paper thin wall up that separated her heart’s desires and her mental reminders of responsibility.

Too much had come to pass the last few years to ever actually go back. To think of what-ifs and maybes’ and imagine anything other than where they were right now. Too much heartache. For the past day, the Lorrdian had been attempting to fool herself into thinking she could keep up the charade. What she didn’t realize is that little bit little, she was finding herself quickly relaxing and craving his presence. Like two satellites passing on by and feeling each other’s gravity pull each other in. Omar’s revelation about the state Asmus’ would be when she came to his mind didn’t help matters. Instead, Kaile’s emotions seemed to travel up and down, going back and forth between what percolated in her head and heart.

If her grip could get any tighter on that mug, it did. She didn’t even register the heat, eyes skimming over the increasingly darkening surface of the slowly tanning water. Kaile opened her mouth but shut it fast. Funny, how everything felt like a dream -- how close they stood, but how far away one still felt.

I missed you. I missed you soo much.
“It’s fine.” Kaile finally managed to murmur, looking down at her slightly trembling hands, her mind jumbled. Her throat worked again, bobbing a bit. Closer, and closer still. Kaile could feel him take a step closer. Move away, Kaile, her mind warned her. But she didn’t. Couldn’t. Her heart seemed to quicken, and for a moment, her lids fell shut. Take away sight and one can focus on the rest of the senses; every sound, sensation, and scent magnified tenfold. The bitterness of the caf, the sweetness of the tea, the slight pressure of another step drawing closer. Then most importantly, that unique aroma of a man that had haunted her days and engulfed her nights.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Shouldn’t do this, he told himself. Not here, not now.

But it made his heart ache to see her wilting at his simple admission. He had missed her. She hadn’t come back, but could have done. It had been her choice. She hadn’t expected him to miss her. Simple facts, just a few words exchanged. But they painted a much, much larger picture. It gave Asmus a closure he’d craved, but not as much as he’d just wanted to see her again. The picture wasn’t complete, but it was a vast change from that blank canvas he’d lost himself in with whiskey glass in hand so many times.

He hands came up, cupping the base of her mug and covering the top. If she would let him he would carefully prise it from her and place it on the counter beside them.

“I’m glad you missed me, but now we’re here,” he said softly as he loomed over her. His voice threatened to break with every syllable as he looked down at her. This was so much to try and take in for him, it seemed even more for her. Everything was confusing, old and new. Similarities that mapped out a path from then to now and the stark changes that could make that link seem tenuous in an instant.

He brought both arms up, starting to encircle her, to draw her in. Just to hold her for a moment, to tell her everything would work out. She wouldn’t see him squeeze his eyes shut in anticipation of her ducking under his arms, or worse, pushing him away again. If she held him it wouldn’t matter where they were, who they were or what they did. They would simply be. They would be in the same space at the same time.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


… But now we’re here.

His voice went breathing over Kaile, and she didn’t need to open her eyes to know the closeness of his proximity. To hear the shift of the fabric of his shirt when his arms rose, the slight heightening of his voice when he spoke his last. His hands landed on her shoulder before he wrapped her up into his hold. That same familiar heavy weight from a different life, as if brought forward from memory and manifested into reality. Kaile shivered when she felt his fingers spread, sliding across her back as they tugged her close.

Stars, his touch was so warm…

He wasn’t the only one to feel the sting in his eyes. In that moment Kaile felt terribly vulnerable, at the precipice of falling apart. A voice kept telling her to step away, her body starting to shake in the rising tidal wave of emotions kept behind that dam she’d built.

But I want him so much….

Without her mug her fingers had nothing else to cling to. Just quivering slender digits that curled into tiny fists, well aware what she’d do if she left them be. Yet Asmus’ grip held on strong, almost as if refusing to let her go any time soon. By then Kaile’s forehead fell against his chest, the dark drape of her hair hiding her visage from view. It was almost a mirror image from back in the Quin. His arms wrapped tightly around her, that strawberry blonde head pressed against his chest just before her hands had come up to encircle him as well.

 

[Asmus Janes]

His arms crossed over her shoulder blades as he pulled her close. A brief squeeze follow, accompanied by a small content noise. Relaxing his grip to a conformable embrace he gently rested his cheek upon her head.

What now? A nasty little voice in the back of his head asked. Quiet. He told it in return.

She would feel his jaw tremble as he held back a dam of emotion. There was so much he had wanted to tell her over the years, so many moment he would have given a great deal to have shared with her. She had told him he could be a great pilot, if only she could have seen. It had been easy for him to smile and joke and send her silly messages. It was harder to try and come to terms with had come between them, what she's given up.

Asmus forcibly reminded himself that he was supposed to look forwards, not backwards. She was here now. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest against her, drawn in the scent of her. She filled his senses. They had time, they had possibilities.

He didn't want to let go, but they couldn't stay here forever. Asmus wasn't sure how long they had been there, but as quiet as deck C was it wouldn't be too long before someone needed a caf.

Keeping her close, he drew his thumb under each eye. His left leg lead as he loosened his grip and pulled away. He didn't entirely break the link. His hands clasped her shoulders as he stopped at arms length.

His eyes were searching for something. Even when she stayed tight-lipped and kept her hands clasped together, those eyes always held the truth.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It certainly was a tender moment. Perhaps one of the very few Kaile would allow herself. With her head inclined forward, eye contact was an avoidance for the moment. If she looked into his eyes, if he brought his hands up to cup her face, Kaile knew that she'd be lost again. Falling slowly into that degrading orbit until she burned.

Don't think, she told herself, chanting that mantra to try and keep herself together. Yet that didn't stop how her hands found themselves at his waist. Or how her fingers began to flex, curling the fabric of his dress shirt into a tight grip. Warm. He was so warm.

Kaile's heart was thudding madly, thundering in her ears. That irrevocable pull of his gaze seemed to gently tug at her, lifting her chin. Ever so slowly, the honey hue of her heart-shaped face would be revealed to the Wraith Commander.

Long lashes framed slightly red-rimmed eyes, just under that thick slash of her bangs and the straight fall of her hair. Those large chocolate brown eyes stared up at him, revealing within their turbulent depths a reflection of what shone from Asmus' own.

There was a wealth of affection there for the pilot, more so than Kaile could keep locked away and hidden from view. She had missed him, terribly so. Within her eyes was a struggle that would likely only confound Asmus more, serving to only bring more questions but no real answers.

Chad had been in his own little mental confusion the past few hours. Lucy had waved him off earlier, her mind clearly elsewhere. Likely with Janes, he thought with a mild sense of annoyance. He had nothing but respect for the Commander, but at times his pretty boy antics could get rather aggravating. Mainly when it came to Lucy. That Janes had been so oblivious to her while Chad had been trying to talk to her more was irritating, but he knew ultimately it wasn't the Wraith Commander's fault.

It just made it all the harder to try and get Lucy's attention. Maybe now that Janes had to look over his agent then I'll have a better chance to --

The Lieutenant Commander came to an abrupt halt. In his right hand, he held an empty mug, every intention set to refill it. Yet when he turned into the kitchenette, he was struck by the sight of Janes and the Agent in question practically in each other's arms.

"Erm...."