Gravity

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus knew that Kee had his own sense of humour, but the lack of an expression really threw him off. Asmus was about to explain a little more about what he'd been up to during the last years, under the guise of keeping her awake.

Instead the doctor fixed his beady eyes on the readouts and canted his doll-like face to one side.

"Kaileann would you mind just giving me your arm so I can double check your vitals again please?"

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


The grimace would not be hard to miss. Well, there wasn’t anything more to do with it now. Avoiding Asmus’ green eyes, the espion extended out her hand, revealing the biostamp that monitored her vitals and recorded any pertinent information.

It was a slim flat patch with electrical components. The Galactic Alliance used the stamp for their military, to keep a track on all of their soldiers and their whereabouts. As it was, the Wraith Commander would be able to put two and two together that her name actually was Kaileann Vera. She hadn’t lied about ‘Kaile’, even if it had been a different spelling then.

Truth within the lies.

“I would recommend you are not taken by Captain Janes’ charms,” the Polis Massan would joke, which was eerie considering he didn’t have a mouth. He was one of the rare ones who were able to actually talk due to the rare development of vocal cords. Otherwise, they’d be having a telepathic conversation right about now.

“He may mean well, but I hear he is quite the heartbreaker.” Kee teased, unknowing what sort of an awkward situation he was placing them both. Kee meant well, as Asmus did hang around his medbay more often than not and the sociable Captain was never ashamed of his antics. He meant well, but he also wasn’t a saint. Just looking for a good time.

 

[Asmus Janes]

There was no need to avoid his eyes; Asmus was starring intently at his own boots. His cheeks were flushed and lips were tight.

Kaileann Vera, he thought to himself. It was pretty. It suited her. Cobb hadn't.

"Your vitals are just a little elevated," Kee said. Asmus decided it was a good job he wasn't being monitored, the way his heart was thumping.

"Are you certain you got all the right shots before deployment?"

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Why was he asking this now?

BeepBeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep.

It was the worst way to rat out her rising anxiety as Kee inquired about her medical history. Not to mention that whole bit about Asmus and being a heartbreaker. Her mind went back to the Alliance gala a few years back. In her mind she saw him laughing, having a good time and drinking with members from Rogue Squadron. A shaft of jealousy managed to creep its way into her heart. An emotion she knew she had no right to feel to begin with.

"Reckon they should be up to date." Kaile managed to reply out through tight lips, her head falling forward again along with her hair.

"Let me look over your history real quick." Kee began, only to make Kaile's heart rate sky rocket at that notion.

BeepBeepBeepbeepBeepbeep.

"It's okay!" the Lorrdian burst out, head snapping back up and reaching out as if to stop the Polis Massan from investigating further.

"No need to. Really." oh stars please don't, those chocolate brown eyes would plead. Please lets not get into my medical history with him here.

Please.

Kaile couldn't risk it.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The doctor couldn't convey confusion, but the second of silence that followed was telling. He looked from Kaile to Asmus and back. Everything was laid bare before him in flimsiplast.

"Oh, right. I'm not about to go reading your private history out in front of a stranger Miss Vera. One moment. Yes, shots are all up to date."

It hadn't occurred to the doctor to be any more subtle. Drawing attention to her anxiety was exactly what she didn't need. Not as bad as the full revelation, but uncomfortable nonetheless.

Asmus had finally decided that watching his laces was helping no one. He shouldn't have done what he did next, but it happened before he realised.

He looked up from his shoes, ran one hand through his hair and tried to offer Kaile a comforting smile.

That was the deliberate part. Right down to the sweep of the tussled hair.

What wasn't deliberate was the other hand reaching out across the covers and coming to rest lightly on her nearest forearm.

"It's alright," he said quietly, pointedly looking away from the doctor.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


It would be telling, the effect Asmus had on Kaile. Her heart monitor was like an insistent status update for her anxiety. It would be a wonder if the medic would catch what was going on, or even start to wonder if she had a heart condition just by the increase in blood pressure and heart rate.

It didn’t help matters when the Lorrdian felt Asmus’ hand curl over her forearm in an attempt to comfort. The slight bit of tension that would reveal itself in the flex of muscle underneath his palm was another indication. Now her heart rate was going all over the place. Confusion and alarm. Anxiety and longing. It was just a broad spectrum of emotions that even the biostamp couldn't quite keep up.

"Your blood pressure is elevated." Kee stated with concern, "How strange." he began to flip through the filmsiplast for any history of high blood pressure.

"Be right back," he told them both, shuffling back to go make a thorough search.

Leaving Kaile alone with Asmus once more.

 

[Asmus Janes]

"That's me isn't it?" Asmus asked quietly. His hand stayed where it was, thumb slowly rubbing up and down. Twisting in his seat he leaned closed to the bed so he could meet her gaze and whisper.

"You're not well, I'm so, so sorry. I'm going to make my excuses and go alright?"

Her hair wasn't frizzy strawberry blonde anymore. Sleek and dark and cut quite differently. Wide eyes revealed as much as they always had. They caused Asmus to look quite distressed. He hadn't intended to cause such an upset, but his presence was clearly disconcerting.

"I won't be a bother if you want me to stay though. I've got plenty of new stories," he added as a last ditch hope. Back on that first day he'd told stories. Until she finally smiled through all the hurt.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

What was she supposed to say?

It felt as if Kaile had a knot stuck in her throat. Stars, there he was, holding her arm, his face a map of concern and worry, unsure of what to do save the simple desire to make her feel better. Times like these were the sort that Kaile wished she wasn't able to read him so well, that her Lorrdian nature wouldn't pick up the subtle nuances of distress in those goldflrcked green eyes.

Asmus still didn't hide his emotions. No he wore them on his sleeve.

Lashes fell, and the espion swallowed hard. It was a confounding thing really. She hated feeling this way. It was further complicated by the constant reminder of the sickly sweet scent of bacta. It made her remember. It made her recall when she had so desperately wanted Asmus to be at her side as he was now. When her entire 'verse seemed to be imploding and all she could do was curl into a little ball hoping to die.

A part of her had then.

Kaile had no time to answer. Kee was back with another dermaneedle.

"Going to give you a dose acenmdaphine; it should lower your blood pressure." He stated, however despite the stoic doll like countenance he had, it was clear he was being serious. He came up beside the cot, where four fingers went reaching out for Kaile's arm.

"Unfortunately, it could potentially increase your chances of becoming sleepy, so I'll have to ask Captsin Asmus to sit with you a big longer." he turned to Asmus then, "Unless you have other responsibilities Captain?"

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"I do have some things to do, but give me a minute to think about it. I might be able to spare some more time," Asmus replied. He looked to Kaile, looking for some sign that she wanted him to stay or go.

As times he could read her. At times he couldn't, but his body could. Others she was so torn he couldn't get a read. Brows lowered as he watched her carefully. What he would give to get inside that head of hers. She hadn't seemed to distressed before, not nearly as much.

Kark, if he was the cause of the blood pressure would the drugs be dangerous to her? No, probably not. Then again he wasn't even certain it was him. She'd taken a knock that bad she'd ended up her after all. Oh dear, that...motion from the previous night couldn't have helped her condition. Asmus looked even more guilty.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

What Kaile said next was but a hoarse hush. There was no other way. Her emotions were going in all different directions and truth be told, Kaile had spent years driving herself into wall of self preservation and denial. That faint tremble lingered upon her limbs, and her lower lip gave a quiver.

“Captain Janes should best be on his way.” she couldn’t even meet his eyes when she said it, casting furrowed brows and glimmering eyes down to her hands again. And while she gently pulled back her forearm from his grasp, it was the emotional and mental step back from Asmus’ that likely struck a sharp cord than anything else. For years Kaile had kept herself away. Had remained silent. She’d bogged herself down into putting what she felt for Asmus in a tiny turadium box, chained it all up, snapped the padlock on it and threw away the key. It had been the most difficult decision of her life, but she had to.

Nothing confirmed it as much as what had occurred on a similar med-bay years ago.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"Of course," Asmus replied softly. He didn't meet her eyes either. Not after she slid her forearm from his lightly resting hand. He watched his own hand return to his lap as if it were a stranger.

The Doctor, however, was more pragmatic about such things. "Certainly. Spin her another yarn whilst I get Nurse Spenph to start her shift early, unless there's someone else aboard you'd like to come and talk?" he asked his patient.

Asmus was in his own head already. He knew she needed time to process but what is really that bad that he was here now? What was different? Was she so ashamed of what she had done last night? He recalled the harsh tone she had chastised herself in.

 

[Kaile Vera]

@Asmus Janes

A silent left to right shake of her head was her answer, the sleek black sway of her hair brushing her jaw. A jawline that would barely reveal the slight razor burn of Asmus’ scruff where he had lovingingly defiled her last night. A small red path that led down to the delicate curve of her neck and to the valleys below he had traced.

“Alright then, I forgot that your division keeps to themselves.” he gave her a pat on her leg, “Rest now then. Need to keep that pressure down. Don’t need added pressure with that concussion.”

Kaile gave a mute nod, curling her arms up and around herself. Such a defensive posture, as if the Lorrdian were curling herself up in a sitting position.

Of all that Asmus feared Kaile could be thinking, the reasons behind it, nothing could compare to the reality.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"Alright... I'll... I guess I'll see you around," Asmus said. Not often that he was knocked off his stride so completely. As he looked to Kaile he tried to offer a smile, but it wasn't easy. How could he fix this if he didn't know what was wrong?

She's not yours to fix. Just find a time to talk to her tomorrow.

He couldn't know how the combination of medical surroundings and his sudden appearance were dredging up memories and nightmares all in one mix.

He paused at the doorway, conjured his most reassuring smile, turned and gave her a mock salute before departing for the mess.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The renowned pilot was unusually sombre in the mess. He sat alone, apart from all other groups of officers, and poked at his food. He wasn't known to have a small appetite either.

He felt utterly wretched. He kept hearing her say 'Idiot' over and over. That tone of self loathing. She been caught off guard, but wouldnt be again.

Picturing how she had looked, he tried to fathom how he could make her feel that way. Damnit but even her vitals had gone South just at the sight of him.

It hurt.

His bubbly, unbridled joy at seeing her again felt like a distant memory.

"I need to work this all out. He could connect the dots and work it all out if he had a little more time.

Time he had in spades. Comprehension of what aimed Kaile, he had little.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

BeepBeepBeepBeep

There it was. Asmus’ attempt at joviality. He failed at it.

Not matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fool the Lorrdian. That was the curse at knowing what she did. At having a specific set of skills that would reveal the truth behind even the tiniest of nuances.

BeepBeep. BeepBeep. BeepBeep.

He was confused. Hurt. It reflected in his eyes in a manner that only drove the vibroshiv deeper in her heart. Blanching further, Kaile ducked her head, hiding behind the fringe of her hair.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

But It was too late for that you see.

The tears were already falling

 

[Asmus Janes]

Nurse Spenph was a reasonably affable person, though tended to act on the more formal side whilst working in the med bay. She'd signed right up to the nurses corps from school. Born in Alliance space she'd only recently made a trio back to Bothawui for a holiday with the collapse of the Techno Union and it's Spynet.

That was what she had been going to talk to their concussion patient about.

"Hey, hey...its alright. What's wrong?" she called softly as she stepped up to her bedside.

---

Asmus was blowing off steam in the gym, hanging around the weights bench with the other pilots. They weren't even quizzing him further, such was his demeanor.

They tended to hog the weights benches together. That was, unless there were marines on board. Then they tended to retreat to the cardio.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Nurse Spenph was kind, but Kaile wasn't in any condition to talk, much the less do anything else other than curl up on her side. A wobbly smile and a small back and forth shake of her hand relayed that she was fine. The nurse wasn't too sure about it, but with Kaile being insistent, she let the espion be.

So there Kaileann lay, arms curling her pillow close to her by her cheek. Silence came easy to her when she wanted it. After all, Lorrdian culture was created out of necessity. Crying in silence is what she did best.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"Alright sweetie." A pair of lightly furred hands gave her a reassuring touch. "Can you just sit up for me please Kaile? I'm so sorry, but we need to keep you awake a while longer."

If Kaile would start to move, the bothan would help her sit up and rearrange the pillows.

"Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It would be her lot that she couldn't just simply lie here and fall asleep. Kee had been right, the additional medicine was making her sleepy. However, it likely didn't help that she felt emotionally and physically strung out. Right now she just wanted to be alone-- and at the same time she didn't. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"Water is fine." She finally replied, giving a wobbly smile. I have to figure things out, Kaile thought to herself. Fast.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The bothan fluffed up Kaile's pillows so she could sit up more comfortably before going to get a glass of water.

"There you go," she said politely. "I don't know what the doctor was thinking bringing Janes in to keep you company. Not everyone likes being regaled with his tall tales."

The bothan moved over to Kaile's notes, checking the medication schedule she was on. "Oh that's interesting. Have you ever tried to learn bothan body language?" she asked, trying to find a topic of conversation. She wasn't all that aware of just how upset Kaile was.



Asmus had found a patch of ceiling to focus on. It occured to him that her room had been larger. He knew the rooms on the ship were small, but he'd always assumed that as a hero of the Alliance navy he'd have one of the larger cabins.

He had slowly come to the conclusion that he could make things better. But first he needed to understand. That meant she needed to talk back to him so he could try and find out why she was getting so upset.

Was it guilt? Did she feel bad for never contacting him? Asmus decided to put some quiet music on and try to rest. He dredged up a playlist he'd listened to more than a few times over the years.