Hollow Bastion

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Kaalia shrugged nonchalantly when [member="Krest"] asked her to keep [member="Darth Lykos"] company. She didn't have much else to do. "I'd rather go home, but sure. If you take too long it's the last time I'm helping you out, though." She had been dragged into the conflict between the two zabraks and she wasn't much of a fan of the situation. In truth the woman really didn't care who 'claimed' [member="Jairdain"], she was here to show her the truth of the Dark side and nothing more. That was her only business here. To say she enjoyed the fact she was cut off from the Force herself would be a lie, but it simply was the situation she had to deal with.

When the door closed the redhead once more sat down on the table, getting as comfortable as possible. At first she was tempted to make a snarky comment about wanting to offer a chair to sit down in but there not being any due to the fact Krest was a horrible host, but after watching Lykos' rage she decided to keep her attitude a bit more tempered. To the Kro Varian there was no reason to turn his anger towards her.

Eventually he would calm down however, at which point he turned his attention to Kaalia. She raised an eyebrow and looked at him inquisitively as the zabrak started speaking, humored by what he said. "He's my teacher, nothing more. He's been very useful in that regard, but I don't trust him one bit beyond that." She chuckled. "So, no. I don't 'swear myself to Krest fully and wholly'. My loyalties lie with nobody but myself, Lykos." This wasn't entirely true. She had loyalties, ones she would never break, but they weren't based on power. They were people she loved, but nobody but them needed to know that. She would do anything for them, put all she had at stake including her life. People called that a weakness, but she simply didn't care. She embraced all of her emotions, and love was one of them.

"Let me guess," Kaalia then continued, "you're plotting something and want me to be involved. Or stay out of the way." She sat up straight with her feet on the ground and her hands in her lap. "Now I don't know what your plan is exactly, but keep in mind what I said about loyalties. I see no reason to help you without something in return of equal value. In the end, I truly don't care who 'claims' her. The moment she sees the Dark side my job is done."

 

[Darth Ferus]

Krest could see the memories, and a smile formed as he felt the emotions. Love, such a strong emotion. One that was easy to manipulate once the strings were found. He continued to speak within her mind, trying to bring those same emotions closer to the surface. Yes, you love your parents as anyone should. A caring family, a loving mother. A protective father. It was a shame what happened to them. Rather then tell the story he wanted her to believe, he poked around, giving questions that a mind in pain and drugged would fill in the blanks for.

After all, Darksiders on your planet were butchered, weren't they?

Another question, another clue. He had to be subtle, make it seem like [member="Jairdain"] had stumbled upon the truth herself, not him simply saying.Their aura of love was subtly twisted to house the dark within them, and if what the Jedi said was true on what happened to darksiders, she would fill in the blanks magnificently.

[member="Darth Lykos"] [member="Kaalia Voldaren"]

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain's people accepted emotions and knew that everybody had them. Those people that allowed their emotions to rule them and cause harm to others were the ones executed.

While Krest was trying to draw up the visions of what the Jedi remembered and fill them with his own, her own personal and not Force related defenses kicked in. These were set up by her years ago in her youth. Back when she was first at her school and the older kids there made fun of her for being blind and different from them. Something she had built up since her childhood and not known it until she got older. As she aged, she had perfected her defense. In time, the children had learned not to mess with the little blind girl.

When the attack went off and if it worked, Krest's vision would be gone and he would "see" like Jairdain saw. Through the Force only, his actual vision disrupted for a few minutes. In times past, this had caused the students to blunder around aimlessly until the effect wore off and their eye sight returned.

One thing his actions did was cause her memory to recall the times her parents did argue and fight, the feelings of their anger at each other.

[member="Krest"] [member="Kaalia Voldaren"] [member="Darth Lykos"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

All at once the world went dark, and in his younger days this would have drawn out more than just the alarm he felt now. Before, anger would have flooded his thoughts, anger and fear. But now in his age those emotions were rarely stirred within him. There was no whisper of danger in what had happened, and as he saw the aura of [member="Jairdain"] laid out before him his alarm faded and turned to curiosity. He listened to the Force in a way few did, but he had never seen the way he was shown now.

So this is how you see. In a way, you see more than anyone with sight could. You saw the darkness in your parents where a child with eyes would have seen fake smiles and peace. In the world of darkness you were born into, you see through the lies the light of day would tell you. Show me more of your parents. Of their darkness. Of how your people treated them when they were found out.

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain had known about the emotions of her parents and her people on a deeper level than probably even they did themselves. Taking all of them in stride at the time, she had noted how there were variations of strength in them. Varying shades of "color" to her. This did not just apply to her parents, but with everybody she met. The girl instinctively knew what a person was just by looking at them.

Through her mind clogged with the fire burning through her, her mind heard the words of Krest. The inferno did not allow her to fight against him as much as she would have liked. However, through the storm, she felt anger. It was a controlled anger and one even she in her debilitated state was able to set into her little box, not allowing it to control her.

If she could think back to him and reply to his statement, she would have. However, most of her concentration was on the pain. Her mind rebelled on its own however and when he mentioned her parents and being found to be dark, it would not accept what he was trying to do.

The memories it showed were that her parents couldn't go dark like those that could use the Force. They were unable to use it. The image he would see were of how happy they felt for Jairdain when it was learned she could. How pleased they were to see her progress in school, how well she adapted to her new found skill. It would also show that they maybe even felt a little jealousy of her, but not enough to make them treat her any different than before.

[member="Krest"] [member="Kaalia Voldaren"] [member="Darth Lykos"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

Krest nodded slowly at the images and his voice would ring out again. So that is what the light would have you believe was true. Once, when I was around your age, I saw my own father as a man who loved me and was tragically taken away by a rouge mercenary. But I was naive. The Light I let fester in my mind tricked me, made what was horrid beautiful, what was wrong right. He paused, making sure he wasn't revealing too much of himself. Regardless of how true it was, his past was secret. He was an abusive man who covered my body with many of the scars that run across my skin now. I killed him to save myself from more pain. When I truly remembered, I realized the folly of the Light. Pain helped me remember.

He raised a hand and lightning crackled from his fingers, surging into the unconscious body of [member="Jairdain"] . With it images of her parents 'darker side' would be dragged out. Perhaps a memory of Jairdain when she was nine and her parents walking down an empty ally only to be robbed at gunpoint. Her parents were more than fine with simply handing over their money, but as soon as one of the thugs laid a hand atop Jairdain's shoulders something happened. The thugs in the area were mercilessly slaughtered, their bones breaking upon themselves. At the center of it all her mother, using the dark side to break and kill them all.

You see? They could use the Dark, and they did to protect you. But your people made it impossible to live with it without persecution and death. Fearing the worst they sent you away to school, didn't they? They wanted you away in case they had been found out from that incident. They wanted to keep it secret from you. While Jairdain could not see, Krest knew she could feel. To emphasize the situation the sensation of blood being splashed on her would fill her mind if the pain stopped her from being able to fight back.

 

[Jairdain]

What words Krest spoke went into the Jedi's ears and then a different, yet apparently true life story was told in her mind. One light and one dark, the dark one being the truth. That wasn't how she was raised. She had loving parents, ones that cared for her.

Her body felt the electricity from his hands and the vision filled her mind. It showed her parents and her walking through an ally between businesses in their town. It was a situation she didn't remember, but did not doubt it could have happened. What the memory showed was a robbery and then the guys dead around them after only touching her. Her mother standing in the middle of the group in shock of what she herself had just done. She could almost feel the sensation of the situation.

If her body could have responded it would have pulled away, instead she could only do it mentally. It couldn't have happened, her parents didn't have the gift she had. Her mind recoiled from the vision, in full denial of what she was seeing.

Through the pain of the poison and the electric coming from Krest, Jairdain could barely think, let alone with any great coherency. Her natural mental defense having gone off, let only what she could come up with herself now. She was in a severely weakened state from the pain, but deep down she was still herself. Gathering up within that piece that was herself, Jairdain clung to the truth that she knew.

If Krest saw like she did still, then he would know this. He would also see she was angry and while she was controlling it, it was a tremulous hold at best. She knew this well and fear was in that core for what would happen when she lost what control she had. While still maintaining what control she had, Jairdain made a mental push against the sith in her head. The message unspoken would be all too clear.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

[member="Krest"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

Mentalism was never Krest's strength. In fact, the only reason he was in [member="Jairdain"] 's head now was because of both the drugs and the pain. So when she pushed, he was pushed. All of a sudden he was no longer in her mind, though still limited by her earlier defense shutting off his sight. So he stood in the room blinking. The lightning from his hand ceased, and a frown settled on his lips.

It would so much easier if he could just beat the dark into her.

But, that wasn't going to work. Not with someone like this Jedi. So once again he dove back into her mind, lightning sparking across even more as his voice whispered. The light has truly blinded you. You still refuse the truth. The truth of your parents hiding their connection to the Force from you. How they sent you to that school to keep you from following them. If you used the dark, your parents would be found out. They feared your death as much as their own. You know this to be true, but the Jedi warped your mind. Blocked the memories, the thoughts. Do you know why?

 

[Jairdain]

The push worked and for a few moments Jairdain was able to almost breathe with relief. The burning from the poison going through her veins was still present and kept her from fully being herself. She still maintained her hold deep within her mind and took these precious moments to gather within herself. It only lasted a few moments though and his assault began with renewed vigor.

Krest went back into her mind probing at her memory, telling her the Jedi had warped her memory. He was so wrong in his thinking. Jairdain clung to her memory of truth about her early life. Her parents didn't send her away as he thought. The school was set up for the small number of children that could use the Force and it was for the whole planet and some of her system. The students were kept there for the school year and then on break they could return home.

As she fell back to her memories, even through the renewed pain Krest was bringing to her, Jairdain remembered her last parting with her parents. A few months later a plague started to affect though that couldn't use the Force and the kids at the school were blamed for it. They rounded up everybody, banished them and then the planet was destroyed. She had always thought it due to those students that had gone dark and remembered how she felt at the time.

The then fifteen year old had felt sorrow at the loss of her family, people and home, anger at those she blamed. The young, not yet Jedi had wanted to lash out and hurt them, but had nobody to direct her anger at. With these memories, thoughts and emotions being drug up again, that desire to lash out returned.

While holding onto her memories, she used that to fight against Krest. While in the pain from both the poison and his shocking, she had no mind left to argue against him with words, only actions. Her push which she thought was going to be her last, wasn't though. With the help of those old emotions, she did it again. This time it wasn't with just the light within her, but with that anger as well. It gave her the strength to fight back for at least a little while longer.

[member="Krest"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

Once again [member="Jairdain"] pushed, and once again Krest was pushed out. Slowly the Zabrak flexed his fingers, glaring down at her unconscious form. Why didn't she just accept it? Accept her fate? He growled under his breath, but after a moment he calmed himself. He was going about it wrong. She knew her parents couldn't use the Force, so what if.. The idea hit him and he once again reached into her mind, his hand now resting atop her head as he let loose another small jolt of lightning.

It wasn't your parents, was it. You feel that anger, you use it. I was wrong in what I saw. It was you. You killed those thieves. You ripped them apart and your parents sent you away, afraid your people would kill you otherwise.

 

[Jairdain]

Krest was once again pushed away and she took the moments to try and push that anger into her little box. The fact she had used it at all was a bad sign, a sign to her she was losing this fight with him. Falling into his trap and his desire to turn her. If she could have cried she would have. Perhaps externally there would be tears coming, but that was not something she could know.

The moment of respite from his attack was over and his words filled her mind and thoughts. The additional pain from his assault compounded with the poison was weakening her, then the words and vision he wanted her to see basically overwrote what she knew was true. She found it believable that the attack could have been done by her. It would have triggered her being tested and sent to the school. There to learn how to use her gift and not use it destructively.

Her people would not have killed her or anybody else for a first infraction like that, only the continued use or mass destruction of using the Dark.

For the moment, Jairdain did not try to push Krest out. The pain from the poison still kept her from being able to think thoughts to him, but he would know she wasn't fighting him now.

[member="Krest"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

Yes, there it is. That's not the last time you've done it either. Storing your emotions away in a box is bound to overflow at some point. You failed at some point. You.. Krest would pause as if he was searching through [member="Jairdain"] 's memories, then he would pull forward one of his own creation. You're the reason the plague exists. You lost control and was released. You killed your parents when you visited them that last time. Chemistry gone wrong, exiled, right? Tell me, what happened in that lab? What did you do? For the first time since he started the Zabrak stopped the stream of lightning so she could speak, though the poison would still twist her mind. Perhaps this would be enough.

 

[Jairdain]

She didn't keep those emotions locked away forever though. After whatever situation had brought them up passed, Jairdain would then open that box and figure out what had caused them to come up. Then she would let them go and her box would be empty again. He did have a point about something though, it wasn't an infinite box and like everybody else there came a point when even she could be pushed. She had reached that point with him now and had used her anger to push him away that last time.

In her school, she had not done chemistry like what he suggested. There may have been upperclassmen that had. An accident may have happened at some point, but it was not caused by her since she had never been there. If the plague was created in the lab, it wasn't by her hand.

There had been an unexplained plague that originated and radiated out from the school. So the students were blamed and since nobody was found guilty personally, they were all banished. It was then that her people died.

"No, the plague was not mine and I didn't do anything."

Standing in her knowledge of this, Jairdain remained strong. The pain had lessoned and she was able to think a little more clearly, but the burning was still there.

[member="Krest"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

Was it not your fault? All it takes is an angry person with no control to do something terrible. You were there, in that lab. You caused it all. Krest applied the idea on thick this time, a sick grin forming on his lips. This was a tipping point now for [member="Jairdain"] , and he would apply all the pressure needed. You can lie to yourself, to your parents memory, but you can't lie to me young Jedi. I thought it was a Jedi's duty to accept the wrongs they've done?

 

[Jairdain]

A sense of stubbornness rose in the girl under his pressure. He basically called her a liar and she wasn't one. There was also that anger she had been holding onto there and now irritation came into the mix.

Jairdain knew all she had to do was push and he would go away for a few moments, but he would be back and the pain with it. Right now, he was not using anything other than the poison in her veins to cause that. It allowed her to think only slightly though.

"I'm not lying. You also seem to forget I did not grow up Jedi. Nor do I fully follow their code."

While it was bad to lie in general or deny when it was your fault, she didn't have anything to do with the plague.

A single thought crossed her mind, undirected at Krest. Since he was in there playing around, he may pick it up though.

If it served a purpose to benefit me, I could lie.
​
[member="Krest"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

"You can lie. We all can lie. But why must you lie to yourself? Are you not prepared to face the truth?" Krest fell silent in this room within [member="Jairdain"] 's mind. All at once the blackness of pain was changed to a room of white with a table in the center. There Krest sat at one end, motioning for the blind Jedi to do the same. "Then we shall remove the other lies first. Peel back the layers that have flooded your mind. Those the Jedi made," On the table formed a holoprojector, and on it a memory very personal to Jairdain. Karl. "And those you made for yourself. What do you remember of this night?"

 

[Jairdain]

"Of course anybody can lie."

That much Jairdain would admit to. As she answered, the darkness she had grown used to living in changed. Once again being granted the gift to see, they were in a white room and for the first time, she saw Krest. It was a white room with a couple of chairs, table between them and hologram display in the middle of the table.

He was zabrak like Lykos, with red skin. He wore reds and blues, his eyes were blue and that surprised the Jedi. Wearing a blue scarf, he sat there and motioned for her to sit at the table with him. His face was scarred and he was older than she expected.

His age made her wonder what his life had been like. She wanted to know what he had been through to make him who he was now. A time would come when she would find out, a time when she would play around in his mind like he was hers. Today, she was his prey though. Fighting back now would be pointless and a waste of power.

Taking a seat at the table, Jairdain would look across the short distance to him. For the moment, she totally ignored the hologram as if she still couldn't see or the images that were there.

"You're in here playing around. You tell me."

Motioning with a hand, she would tap her forehead. Though as she did, the images of the hologram would change and actually display what she remembered.

How she snuck on board his ship, hid there until she was discovered, their conversation on the ship, the lightsaber training he had given her and where that lead. The next phase of memories was a true surrender to passion. What at the time was thought of as love was almost nothing more than the physical and mental need for passion.

[member="Krest"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

"You live in a box you've carefully constructed for yourself. The box you made because of your peoples beliefs, they became you. Defined you. You were afraid, are afraid, to let your emotions show. It is through fear that you keep this box around you. The Jedi didn't help, they won't help. They lie and tell you to surrender them to the Force. But that is not right. You must face your fears to make them yours. This night was not a good night. It was a terrible night where you were used in ways you can't bring yourself to face." Krest paused again, a smile forming on his face as the idea finally came to fruition. How to convince her.

"Just as you refuse to face the idea you are behind the plague that killed your parents. This is where you will stay now, locked in these nightmares. They will torment you until you face your fears and understand them. Only then can you be truly free. And perhaps, you will understand how to free others as I am doing now." Life without purpose was not life. It was subtle, but Krest would plan her goal. Her why to the question of life. For now he would leave her in this state, standing up from the imaginary chair and stepping towards one of the walls. "See you soon." And he would step out of her mind.

For the next several weeks [member="Jairdain"] would no longer be inhibited from the Force, instead locked in nightmare after nightmare. Precious encounters twisted to horrid and unspeakable events, friends turned to enemies. All her fears brought to the forefront. Every now and then Krest would check on her, probing her mind and waiting to see if she had accepted even one fear instead of trying to lock it away.

It was when she finally accepted one that he would return, and the next phase would begin.

 

[Jairdain]

His words struck far closer to the truth than any of his previous ones. Her people had feared when those that could use the Force went dark, so she herself had created her little box. She had thought it was keep her own emotions in check, but in reality it had been her own fear and those of her people that had brought this box into being. It was a perfect allusion to her reality.

He was wrong about something though, the Jedi had never suggested she let them go to the Force. They hadn't questioned what she did with her emotions just that she didn't allow them to control her. Lykos had been the one to discover her box and what she did with her emotions. She held them until she could release them. When she did that, she always figured out what had brought them up and then released them. Maybe it was to the Force, she just knew when she was done her box was empty.

Was it fear that caused her to build this block? It was her fear of losing control of these emotions and that would lead her to fall to the Dark. It had happened to others of her people and she didn't want to bring about the chaotic destruction they had. She feared the pain and suffering she would bring to the people around if she had no control.

In the warped darkness Krest left her behind in, Jairdain saw what he wanted her to see. What her mind remembered of her reality slowly shattered under the onslaught of his twisting. The truth of her memories became lies and the lies fed to her subtlety became her past reality. Along with her memory being shattered, that emotional box did as well.

Very delicately, Jairdain picked up her emotions in her mind. She reached out and felt them fully for the first time. The now broken Jedi knew what she had deprived herself of. As she felt and understood each emotion on an almost intimate level, she would no longer fear them. For the first time since she was a child, Jairdain felt whole and not some half empty husk of a human.

[member="Krest"]

 

[Darth Ferus]

For the first time in weeks Krest re-entered the realm he had left @Jaridain in. With a smile on his face he stepped into the white room, moving over to the table. Casually he sat down across from her and with a wave of his hand two glasses of tea formed in this land of thought. "While not real, you'll at least be able to taste and feel as if you drank it." It was all he said as he pulled up his own cup, sipping as he watched the screen and the memories unfold.