Location: Ice Cathedral of the Crystal Caves, Ilum
Sitting on the icy floor of the cathedral-like cavern bothered Desbre little. Her robes were thicker, environmentally adjusting, and her homeworld was just as cold. A little bit of Tapas went a long way to keeping her warm. This place was no threat to her currently. Instead, it felt like home. The good parts. It was amniotic in a way, like being back in the womb. Quiet, dim, safe. She felt encouraged, despite the isolation. There was solace and solitude here, rather than abandonment. In some ways, it soothed her very soul, like a cool cloth placed on a feverish forehead.
Through the Force, and her own ears she became aware of the crystals all around. Not just as focal points of light, life, and energy, but a soft chorus of thousands of voices or strings, all singing and vibrating. Shifting tones of music minimal and complex, creating a subtle weaving melody all throughout. It was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever witnessed, and for a time she merely sat, listening. But more than that she was struck by it all, and the impossible symphony each point helped create. By themselves, each crystal had its own harmonic, but not particularly remarkable in its own right. Each had a part to play and moments to sing and shine. It was an incredible tapestry that made up something much larger. And none of those pieces were inherently good, or bad. Each had a role to play. Everyone had their part.
Her mind rolled back to home. Her Grams and the night Des lost her. She never meant for that to happen, had no idea that it would. If she could change it, she would. "
I know, child," an achingly familiar voice said in the frigid air. Des opened her eyes to see a figure she never thought she'd see again. Her grandmother, Karlise. Her White hair was worked into a classic and elegant style, twisted and braided in a way Des had never seen, like something out of an older holo. She was younger too, closer to her prime, with bright eyes. Gone were most of the wrinkles of age, save for the small crow's feet at the corner of her eyes, and strong laugh lines.
But more importantly, she wore a Jedi uniform, not unlike Desbre's, complete with the lightsaber that Des left with Caltin. The air around her was ionized and she seemed partially translucent. And missing from Desbre's vision was the thermal component most species gave off.
Des flew to her feet, eyes wide. Before she could ask, the apparition smiled broadly. "
No, you're not hallucinating," she said and stepped forward, arms outstretched, offering an embrace.
While the image before her showed zero signs of actual life, Des could feel her grandmother's presence, even emotional overtones. Hesitantly she reached out only to find the image seemed quite solid. "
Grams," she asked, her voice breaking, even as tears started to well up. Karlize nodded, affirming aloud it was her. Des latched onto her hard and began to sob uncontrollably. Des felt overjoyed to see her again, even if it was just a hallucination. But also buried under waves of guilt, remorse, and shame. She babbled over and over how sorry she was.
The spirit held onto her, rubbing her back and running fingers through her hair. "
I know. I know," she said soothingly. "
I've known all this time. You were just so far away. But I come to you now to do what I can." Karlize gently pushed her granddaughter away. Reaching out she wiped away the girl's tears, making her skin tingle some, and flicked the salty water away. It froze before it hit the ground. "
Let's have a look at you," she said, stepping back just a little more.
Hands reached up to touch Desbre's face, cupping her cheeks, then peering into her eyes, turning her head side to side, then braced her arms, and then inspected her hands. "
Mmmhmm. Well... Look at you." Des raised an eyebrow and looked down at herself, wondering if she'd spilled something on herself or what. She looked back up to find Karlize smiling at her. "
You've done it alright. You've put in the time, blood, sweat, and tears. And I can see it's been a terribly rough road." She poked Des just over her heart. "
Especially in there. But you have come such a long way, babygirl. I'm proud of you. I tried to offer what comfort I can over the years. I've ached to help you and did what I could. I had to wait though."
Des listened, nodding some as she wiped her face with one hand. "
I never got to say goodbye. Or tell you how much I loved you. Or... anything."
"
Such is the nature of things. We don't always get to choose the end. And the end is not always what it seems. And is there ever really an end," Karlize said quietly. "
I'm so proud of you, Des. I always knew you were going to be somebody. You always danced to a different beat. You didn't just keep your head down and fall in line. You always stood up for people. I knew you were strong in the Force, but I still worried about you. I remember the days before the Purges. I had hoped that life wouldn't come to you. Your grandfather and I fought over it. But after I crossed over, it seemed like a clear path."
Karlize reached out to stroke Desbre's hair for a moment. "
It was never meant to break you, only to help you grow and shape you. Don't forget your roots. Don't forget to do the things that bring you joy. Do not shy away from Ashla's light. What happened to me was not your fault. I should have trusted more both in the Force and you. I should have trained your mother, and you." Karlize bit her lower lip for a moment, a gesture that was all too familiar. It was seen in the mirror so often. "
Nothing I can do about that now. But the Force has it's ways, as do I." She smiled then, glancing off toward where Caltin resided. "
It's time for you to really start healing. But you can't do that without accepting who you are, mistakes and all. And give yourself some love. Let yourself off the hook. Your experiences with the Jedi weren't ideal. But you were always out for self-discovery, not being told what to do all the time. And you had the discipline, strength, and determination to take everything you were shown, everything you were given and put your utmost into it. Most would give up or stagnate; instead, you push ahead and persevere. You have never given up on anything. You have given your all and your best. I couldn't be more proud of you, and proud to call you Jedi."
Des listened, nodding as her grandmother spoke. It felt so surreal, as though they were almost transported to another place and time. or stood just outside of the space-time continuum. But as she did the stormy clouds over her heart, her spirit began to burn away as rays of light peeked through. Her grandmother's pride and forgiveness meant so much. The relief was palpable, and she felt almost high. Probably from the chemical concoctions flooding through her brain, but she rode them out for now.
"
Do as Master Vanagor says and trust yourself, Des. He's here for you. He really does care about you and wants to help. Learn as much as you can from him. Even after you pass your Trials. Someday soon, you too will be teaching. Take all that you have learned and teach well, and let Ashla's light shine through you. Never stop learning, though. Never stop investigating, experimenting, and growing. And if you need help... well... you still need to look into the family and our history."
It was then that Des realized that Karlize was fading slowly. "
Wait, wait, wait! Don't go," she said, beginning to tear up, afraid she would never see her grandmother again. "
I.. when will I see you again?"
"
Oh kiddo, I'm always around. You just have to listen. But like this? Who can say? But you will see me again." As she finished, one hand cupped Desbre's left cheek as she faded away. Her cheek felt warm to the touch, as though her Grams had left a living handprint there.
A pair of fresh tears freed themselves, but Des simply wiped them away, determined.
Her eyes snapped open with a gasp as she straightened up. She was sitting on the cavern floor. Her face was wet with tears, and they were freezing. Cleaning her face off, she stood. Was it a dream? The left side of her face still radiated that warmth from that last touch. She could smell a hint of her grandmother's perfume in the air. No, no dream. A vision? Something else. Snuffing a mild bit of snot back up into her head she wiped her nose.
The symphony was quiet now, soft and subtle save for one clear, ringing a resonant note. She found herself almost smiling as she stood before it, resting atop a stalagmite of ice. Drawing close, she saw a crystal growing out from the point. "
Hello, little one," she said aloud. Gently she plucked the shard from its resting place. The crystal seemed to resonate louder for a moment before quieting down.
A cry for help came to her pointy ears then, snapping her out of her reverie. It was hollow and came from the direction of a pit nearby. Scrambling across the ice, she peered down, to see the warm glow of
Tom Kovack at the bottom. Scooting to the edge, she laid down to minimize her chance of slipping or dealing with more crumbling. "
Are you okay," she said projecting her voice down the tunnel. He was on his feet and didn't seem to be too worse for the wear.
As she peered down at him she could see his gear was ripped up. That wasn't good, not for a human. She
probably could have pulled him out. But she noticed the rope next to her, descending into the pit. Probably from a past expedition. She followed it's course back to the stalagmite. It had a solid base and was buried in the ice now. It seemed pretty darn secure. "
Okay, we're gonna get you out. Or rather you're going to get yourself out," Des said.
"
This place is like a focal point in the Force. You don't have any physical tools to break through the ice," she said. None of them did. "
But you have the rope." Pulling him out was easy, quick. But she didn't feel that was the lesson, not for her, not for him. If they were truly pressed for time, she could. But for now, there was still enough time. "
You can get to it though."
"
Do you trust me, Tom," she asked, despite being so far away. She pondered joining him down below, and maybe she should.
