Private Imposter Syndrome

[Kaili Talith]

Once the pearl and centerpiece of the entire galaxy, now a cursed rock. Coruscant undoubtedly still held a certain social status to it, but anyone who tried to claim it as their own had met chaos and destruction all too soon afterwards.

Kaili smiled and shook her head.

“Not sure I would recommend living there to begin with. Guess my advice is to stay away from anything that pokes out from the skyline. Not sure how many times we’ve seen the same skyscrapers get rebuilt by now.” The blonde said and put her glass down on the bar. “Maybe get your own personal landing pad and a bigger ship. Allows for mobility and lets you get out of there when things start to blow up.”

That was to assume it would blow up. Perhaps that was one of those questions only time could provide an answer for.

“I don’t blame you for disliking it. It’s hard to look away from the problems that living in such a place brings about.” Kaili motioned for the bartender to provide another round of drinks, except this time something a bit sweeter and less impactful. Around them there seemed to be a crowd gathering for the karaoke night. There was a worse ambience to be had. “I haven’t had my own apartment since Borleias either. Lived my life on the go for the last few years, haven’t really felt a need for roots. At least not since, well, we’ve already talked about it.”

“How has training been going so far?”

[member="Loske Matson"]

 

[Loske Treicolt]

Loske wasn't sure she agreed with [member="Kaili Talith"]'s property recommendation. She'd spent weeks in her own little ship, and it got mighty stuffy. Even if something was bigger, it wouldn't feel permanent. If there was anything Loske craved, it was some sort of lasting space. A home. She'd never truly had one..in fact, she'd never even been to Kiffu, despite being created there.

"On the other hand, it's a constant reminder." She was speaking specifically to the context of living within the squalor. It was grounding, and a type of method motivation that there were all degrees of conflict and joy. Coruscaunt just seemed to compound all those experiences into several thousand layers. "Which can be good or bad." She balanced between the two options, not sure which one she'd land on.

It was tricky to keep the conversation as focused as it had been. The person who held the stage right now was singing an off-key representation of a song she'd only heard once, in a bar. Actually, the Solstice Vine bar! Her light gaze drifted to the stage, and the swaying bodies that were trying to replicate a concert-like experience for the singer.

[member="Kaili Talith"] showed interest in her Jedi training again, and Loske looked rather elevated. "It's exciting." She confessed. She'd wanted to play it cool, coy even, but the reality was she'd been exposed to so much more than before. "I'm used to being in the skies, in the remote safety of a cockpit. Training has been...very immersive."

The bar tender reappeared, handing the slightly muted drinks over to the girls. Loske nodded in thanks. "And I'm meeting so many interesting people, not just pilots." She cracked a grin, looking over at the swaying crowd once again.

"Do you have a go-to song for that?" Thumbing over her shoulder, it was clear she was indicating the karaoke stage.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Loske Matson"]

True enough. Seeing the gap that separated you from those that were worse off had a way of encouraging change when such a change was viable. Kaili knew the amount of power that a person needed and the amount of sway with a population that was required for changes like that to happen. The status quo was a very real thing and it was up to those in charge to tear it down and rebuild it. A sad but undeniably true circumstance of being in a leadership position.

At least Loske was happy to learn! The excitement was contagious and Kaili grinned at the way she seemed to describe her days. Immersive, new people, and not just pilots. In the end it was ironically enough the words that Kaili would use to describe her own work as well, even if at times the new people had been dead for a millenia or less. She specialized in the history lost in the Gulag Plague after all.

And then, Loske naturally asked the one question that Kaili did not want to answer. There was only really one answer, but from the look in Loske’s eyes it was fair to assume that such a song wasn’t on the table.

“Does the latest instrumental release from Yven Karmiciel count?” Electronic beats at their melancholic best, though he was sadly enough — according to Kaili — gaining too much mainstream influences as of late. “I know where that question leads, Miss Matson.” Kaili grinned. “You are not getting me up on that stage.”

 

[Loske Treicolt]

"No. It does not count." She deadpanned immediately to [member="Kaili Talith"]'s ridiculous suggestion of humming along to an instrumental. "The crowds will not have it."

The woman suggested that she would not be going up on that stage, but the enthusiastic Kiffar had other ideas. This was supposed to be an experience when they got everything off their chest, right? What better way to liberate the soul other than a terrible performance in front of strangers?

"Oh come onn," Loske leaned forward, excitedly drumming on Kaili's knees to get her amped up. "Here, I'll start." A true leader forged the way, not just expecting others to do it on their own volition! Quickly, she dislodged herself from her knotted position on the seat and crossed to speak with the person in control of the songs. From Kaili's vantage point, she'd see Loske turning and pointing in her direction and then nodding, and receiving two microphones. As miraculous timing would have it, the current performer was just bleating out their final note.

The girl stepped up to the stage, and soon tropical sounding notes filtered through the sound system. Loske swayed, surprisingly in rhythm, and then all bad broke loose. It was one of her favourite songs when jumping through lightspeed.

I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of meeEE!

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Loske Matson"]

Oh crap. Loske played the guilt card. Oh it wasn’t actual guilt, but it granted her the ability to play it once she came off that stage. It was by all accounts a good performance, by karaoke standards. An exotic choice, but a common one regardless. As the friend came off the stage, Kaili gave her a mock glare. She hated the spotlight, she hated everything about having attention put upon her, yet in this very moment being about as drunk as she could get and still walk in a straight line, Kaili found herself with no other choice but to go.

As Loske took her seat, Kaili turned on her heel to provide her with just a few more seconds of glare before she stepped up on the stage. The host approached, Kaili gave her a song. They didn’t have it. The curse of having a very specific taste in music. She had to come up with another song. There was an up and coming rock band with a female lead. A band that they had the instrumental and lyrics for.

The intro started, a guitar riff over a weak drumline. It kicked into something heavier.

Kaili’s heart beat against her throat. It was time to expose her guilty pleasure: song. The vocals kicked in and her eyes set on the only person she knew in the room. The intro continued before erupting into a lively chorus and with it the scene became her space. In key, in tempo, perfectly livid as if no-one was watching, not too unlike what she would have wanted to do alone in her room all those times she had heard the song.

The performance lasted until the song finally died out. Her shoulders rose, and sunk, and then rose, and then sunk again before Kaili put the mic back with a timid. “Thank you.”

With a wipe off her brow she took a seat by her friend to catch her breath again.

“Let’s not do that again.” Kaili chuckled as the last of the adrenaline died off. “That was… Horribly thrilling.”

 

[Loske Treicolt]

The resistance Kaili'd had to participating on the stage seemed to melt away, and a new persona exhibited with lively rhythm. She even hit all the OoooOOO's just right. When she was done, the crowd cheered and jostled around. Not for too long though, before a new singer tried to squirm their way back up to the stage.

"Right?!" Loske beamed enthusiastically, throwing her arms around her friend with exuberant jubilation. "I dunno Kaimea, you could have a new career on your hands. Perhaps a third identity." It was a joke that was perhaps poor in taste, given the qualms [member="Kaili Talith"] had with having two persons as herself.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Loske Matson"]

Kai… Mea. Kaili squirmed under the pressure of the hug and gave her friend an unamused grimace as they separated. She threw her attention at the man who stumbled onto the scene. He seemed uncertain how to take the plate after what Kaili had done, and she turned back towards Loske with a satisfied smile.

“A triple cover is more of a Corine La’toya brand of story.” Kaili said and shook her head at Loske. “The ditzy college girl, the part-time maid, part-time intergalactic super spy with Alpha-Delta clearance. License to kill.”

Kaili cleared her throat with a chuckle.

“Have you… seen any of her movies? They’re positively some of the worst writing I have ever seen, but the uh… Visuals aren’t unappealing.” Actors, Kaili meant the actors. “Not that I’d ever- uh, you know. I wouldn’t know. Ever.”

“Obviously.”

 

[Loske Treicolt]

An over exaggerated gasp manifested from Loske's lungs at [member="Kaili Talith"]'s uncanny reference to the pink-haired holostar. "Yes!" She confirmed, all-too-enthusiastically, still riding the hype train of the concert the pair had just put on. And the effects of the alcohol made the naturally giddy girl all all the more positive.

"I watched her movies to learn a Corellian accent! Like you told me to. I was also at that party at Solstice Vine, and I had people mistake me for her." She bit her lip, excitedly and pat the top of her head "I was wearing a pink wig, with a fringe. It was hilarious, but I also hope I didn't get her into trouble. I'm not sure poor Corine would go to McYoda's at two-thirty in the ay-em." She hadn't seen any tabloids about her exploits, so that was a positive.

She nodded along to the plot lines not being the best, but she could see the value in the distracting entertainment. When Kaili stammered about her aesthetic preferences, Loske simpered knowingly. "They're paid to look that good. Must be a lot of stress. Couldn't imagine.

Have you met a celebrity before?"

 

[Kaili Talith]

Oh Kaili was very familiar with the darker sides of fame and fortune. People getting stressed pushed to their limits, given drugs to expand the limit, and then thrown in rehab twenty years later when it was all for nothing but fleeting fame. But this was not the place and time to dwell on the all too bitter reality. They were drunk, and moreover they shared an appreciation for people that put the effort into looking as good as they could, and most certainly did.

“It takes more than some seem to think in order to maintain this.” Kaili said and swept a hand along her sides, the otherwise loose fabrics getting pulled ever so gently against her skin as they went. “Today’s cheat day.”

Well, in reality a lot of days lately had been a cheat day, but when your income depended on you being in top shape, not too unlike these actors, it wasn’t all that hard to find the motivation needed to get back into the flow again.

“I met Astrid Gray once, the news anchor at Sith Imperial News. That was… She was, uh…” Attractive. Pretty. The usual words one would use to describe someone such as her. “A unique experience. There were pirates involved, and despite what one could think about a person of her — uh, allegiance — she wasn’t involved with their strike on the station.”

“We crawled in a ventilation shaft together. That was…” Awkward, intense, though mostly for Kaili. “Interesting.”

Kaili bit her lower lip and tried to think of a new topic to swap to.

“Alright, favorite Cora movie. Go.”

 

[Loske Treicolt]

Kaili Talith ’s gesture to her curves was met with an appreciative nod from Loske, who had picked up the remaining contents of her drink again and was schlucking between the ice with a straw. “Like I said, you look great.”

“A ventilation shaft? To get away from the pirates? Wow, that’s.. that must have been conflicting. Goes to prove people are and the end of the day, human after all. Did she report the story after?”

Favourite Cora movie! Well! There were so many she’d seen, and so few variances in the plot line between each one that it was tricky to keep track of which movie was which. “Uhmmm..” she thrummed her lower lip with her pointer in thought. “That one where she’s an undercover spy..” which was all of them “... and finds out she’s sleeping with the bad guy.” In the end, Cora and her two best friends, guised as angels, had taken the bad dude and his legions out. Of course. But Loske still had to admit she had a bit of a bad boy curiosity, the romanticism of it on the silver screen didn’t help.

“What about you?”

 

[Kaili Talith]

Loske Treicolt

It was hard not to smile at the compliments, really. Kaili enjoyed being herself, and technically a compliment to the body she had was also a compliment to Amea’s body, so there was literally no losing when it came to those. However, what said body did when stuck in a ventilation shaft with someone you were starting to develop crush on…

Yeah, no, that wasn’t awkward at all. Except it was. A hot, uncomfortable mess, but she had survived. Somehow.

“Oh I was, uh, conflicted alright.” Kaili rubbed at the back of her neck as the color on her cheeks brightened. “I didn’t pay attention to any reports.” Kaili admitted and looked into her glass to hide her fluster. “She, uh... Have you seen her?” Kaili brought out her holo-device to display a picture. “She didn’t have the elaborate get-up. She was just like anyone else in a crowd at the time, and she was just… Yeahhh…”

It was clear that in the end Kaili had come out of it with at least the smallest ‘appreciation’ for the news anchor’s existence. Luckily though Loske brought the conversation away from awkward interactions with stars and back to the amazing Cora and her movies. Amazing still being a relative term, it was usually followed by -ly horrible, but the cult following that they had garnered were hard to deny, and the fact that she kept doing them despite the opinion of pretentious critics really just spoke of someone who did what they do because they enjoyed it. There was a valuable lesson and message in that as well, Kaili figured.

“I think my favorite is the one where she and the bad guy accidentally ends up swapping bodies through the force.” Kaili said and patted her index finger at her chin trying to remember it. “The sheer sense of power and control she managed to portray in that role as not her usual self but the bad guy that was her rival in her body…”

A small chuckle blew threw Amea’s nose as her teeth began to suck into her lower lip with an appreciative nod.

“I think to some extent Amea is based on her, the bad guy. A badass archaeologist who couldn’t keep herself from touching the big shiny artifact and as a result was granted powers beyond her control. Yet despite getting warped into this amazing amalgamation, a creature of evil, she never lost her sense of self. She was one with evil, but she wasn’t defined by it. There was, uh...” Kaili struggled to find the word. “Substance to the character, and more than anything a hope for redemption.”

“It makes me hopeful for-...” Micah. The smile faltered for a second before Kaili decidedly shook the bad mood off. A quiet moment passed as she considered what to say. “Maybe that’s why Cora’s movies are so great. The original following was ironic, but the movies always hold clear messages of hope and love. I can get behind that. Why wouldn’t someone get behind that?”

 

[Loske Treicolt]

“Ah Cora, finding a way to influence our lives every day.” She sing-hummed when the parallel was drawn between the actress’ pattern with character portrayal and Amea.

Hope and love was a far more profound review than Loske’s hidden bad boy fetish. “If archeology and tech don’t work out for you, and karaoke performances fall flat, you have a fourth option. Movie critic.”

It went without saying why Kaili had faltered for a moment in her recollection of the fabled Freaky Forceday film. Micah was still a leering unknown, bouncing from the back of the mind to the fore. As much as Loske had a crush on him, and appreciated her company, she’d forced herself to move on. It was easier for her to do than Kaili. Obviously. And in that moment, Loske squinted at her friend. Could Kaili feel the former alchemist’s pain now? His internal conflict on the daily?

“Because people tend to look at the obvious, and not get that meta?” She suggested. Morales of the story always existed, but it took a certain level of self awareness to appreciate and apply them.

Behind them, someone started singing particularly off key and Loske’s expression changed to something dismal. “Oh no.. this used to be my favourite song.” She moseyed back to her seat, wiggling to get comfortable on the stool.

“So the cute news anchor. Where’d that end up? You in touch?”

 

[Kaili Talith]

It wasn’t as bad anymore, but Kaili had to undergo the act of cutting her brother off just a little to not feel overwhelmed by the reality she was stuck with. She felt his struggle, but not much more than beyond the fact that he had to deal with it at this point. It was manageable, but few things would ever compare to the memory of the first time she had experienced it. That was the part that stuck around.

Regardless of that, well, she would laugh. She would not really love but she would endeavour to reach for it. It more often than not led to confusion and nights spent hiding from the world under the covers, alone, in her bunk. But, yeah, she was making more efforts to step ‘back out’ so to speak.

“We parted on amicable terms, I’d like to think.” Kaili couldn’t help but smile again. “We are both pretty busy people, our lifestyles would not mesh at all. Besides that, I mean… She is still one of Carnifex’s biggest mouthpieces and I am one of the agents acting against Carnifex when I can.”

“... They always warned us the devil would be attractive, right?” She laughed it off. “No, I will keep on heading towards… Wherever it is I am going.”

Kaili looked at her glass, thought for a second but then figured why not.

“What about you?” She asked and took a sip from her new drink. “Any cute guy in your life?”

“... Girl?”

“... Other?”

“No judging here.”

 

[Loske Treicolt]

"Sounds like a Cora plot." Loske nodded sagely with her observation, leaning back in her seat and setting the drink (which was now just ice) back on the counter. That truly did sound conflicting, though. In the end, if Kaili Talith and the news anchor were to be any sort of serious, there'd end up being some sort of ultimatum. Something Kaili likely knew, and would have to mentally prepare for. She seemed, although in better spirits now, a delicate state. It went without saying, but she said it anyway, because she was a caring soul. "Be Cora-ful." That was bad. She was trying to make a pun about Cora, and being careful at the same time. The poor delivery slaughtered the would-be sentiment.

"Where is it you want to go?"

Woefully, she had no drink in her hand when she sputter-coughed at the question about her love life. She should have anticipated it, verily it was only fair. If Kaili could move on, sort of, from Micah...couldn't Loske? It only seemed logical. Still, there was a part of her that felt semi-awkward admitting that was the case. She fidgeted, obviously. Not something she'd ever discussed.

"Guy and a half?" She winced, bracing her forehead and resting and elbow against the table. To buy herself some time, she ran her fingers through the front of her hair to loosen her bun, shake her hair out, and then scrape it back again. It was less than ten seconds. "No, that's not fair. I'm trying to sound much more wanted than what's true. Not an accurate representation. Obviously I'm no Astrid and I cannot do PR. I met this guy after Solstice Vine, who was cute, but tricky to keep in touch. I actually felt pretty bad, he thought I was Cora La’Toya. But it was a... too fast and too flirty situation. I felt so bad I fessed up, thought he’d be furious, but we ended up exchanging digits anyway. So, thanks for the skill miss. Talith.
That's the half." She gestured dismissively. "You of all people know what that's like. The oneee...that’s been very me the whole time. It feels more natural." oh man. They were supposed to be keeping it a secret. She'd suggested they keep it a secret. "I mean, we've kissed." The clone smiled at the recollection, it was still new to her. Oh my god she sounded fourteen. But that's okay, since she was never really fourteen. "It's supposed to be hush-hush, I'm not really ready for anything that begets attention, but I really like him.

That was a long winded yes, there's a cute guy in my life."

 

[Kaili Talith]

Loske Treicolt

There was a look of confusion on Kaili’s face at the Cora-ful remark that quickly transitioned into an ugly chuckle. Loske had that tendency to ask the pointed questions, the ones that were hard to provide a good answer for. In reality Kaili didn’t even know where she wanted to go and as such she provided Loske a small shrug and a shake of her head before she moved on to the other topic.

So Loske had not just the one but the two. Well, she said one and a half but the rule dictating that someone needed to be more than half of something to be alive said you always rounded up. Kaili’s attention was set on the other woman with a great amount of interest, figuring Loske’s humility in the face of having not just the one ‘guy’ but two was entirely unnecessary. Loske looked absolutely great and the odds were that had the blonde ace pilot not come to be something like a weird sort of distant sister or cousin to Kaili, this entire conversation would have been a whole lot more disastrous if not even avoided entirely.

Kaili patted Loske on her upper arm to show her support.

“The one, tell me about the one.” She said and scooched in closer as if she was about to hear the greatest secret of all time. “What does he look like? Is he a pilot as well? Jedi? … Sith? How is he? Where is he? For how long?”

 

[Loske Treicolt]

Someone's karaoke song choice.​

Being two particularly attractive blondes had garnered them an appropriate amount of attention from the bar tender. His job was to supply the catalyst for his guests to have a good time on this cruise, and he'd been particularly diligent with keeping Kaili Talith and Loske's drinks filled, and not just because it was part of his job description, but he was getting a sense of fulfilment from doing good work with the pair. When they'd started out, their body language had been hesitant and somber. He had no idea what they'd been talking about, although he felt like he was supposed to know, given his proximity to them had been well within earshot, but he was at an unexplainable loss. Then they'd started smiling more, and the karaoke had broken the ice -- they'd been chin wagging happily now for several minutes, and it seemed whatever sullen topic they'd addressed at the outset had been resolved and it was back to the type of girl talk he was used to. Although, most of his patrons weren't quite so..properly feminine as these two. Definitely made the job easier.

He slid two more of the partly sweetened drinks in the girl's direction. "On the boat." A joke, because, they were bobbing along the waves rather than a typical bar scene. Funny guy!

Calling it the one made it sound so serious. Loske wasn't sure if she wanted to be completely serious about this, given it was her first foray into any sort of relationship other than friends. Heck, it had been her first kiss and handholding experience altogether! Still, Kaili was curious, and Loske kind of enjoyed talking about it -- especially if it gave her perspective. She'd been spending so much time wrapped up with her Jedi training that a conversation outside of that was welcome. She cracked a crooked grin, and began to indulge Kaili's series of questions in responses that reacted to each of the queries as they came.

"He's tall, dark, and handsome with a really bad haircut." And a laugh, "Terrible pilot. I made him get into a StealthX once, and I controlled it remotely. Horrendeous. A Jedi Master, actually, and this is where I think it might get a bit taboo. It's my Jedi Master. Cedric." She winced, there had to be some sort of joke about that somewhere in the archives, but she wasn't privy to the conversations within a Jedi Academy, given she'd just come to terms with having The Force. It made sense how it could happen, though. Constantly spending time together, all sides of the person exposed. There was a lot of vulnerability in the mentor-mentee relationship, and tension.

She looked somewhat suspicious after that. "What do you mean how is he? He's..fine? I think? Oh! If you're talking about specific performances, uh.. hasn't happened yet." Perhaps a too much information, but Loske was a spiller of details, and she didn't want to misrepresent any aptitude that could have existed by downplaying a faux reality. "On Coruscaunt, for now, and it's been like..." she downturned her lips in thought, flicking her gaze upward at the ceiling which was rising and falling rhythmically with the waves. "Maybe a month?"

​

 

[Kaili Talith]

Okay. Kaili needed to process that. Her eyes blinked at the revelation of just exactly who it was, her own opinion of his cause perhaps burning at the edge of her mind as she tried to comprehend this reality she was struck with. Loske and Cedric Grayson. She had heard of weirder couples, and in reality it was the same way that Kaili had managed to find her one and only girlfriend at one point. To say that the idea of a master falling in love with — or in Kaili’s case, sleeping with — a student was naturally taboo but something she was very much guilty of herself.

Still, she slowly began to nod once more as she fell into the rhythm again. Okay, so Cedric as a potential sort of not-really-brother-in-law in the future? Or was that a thing they considered? Maybe this was just a sort of fling? Naturally the questions began to arise but Kaili kept them down out of respect for Loske who seemed uncertain about what to share or not. It was the kind thing to do, so that’s what Kaili did as well.

… Right?

Hah! No, she was drunk. She very much did not.

“A month? You’ve lasted a month without it?” Kaili leaned back into her seat and raised her brow before she leaned in again. Voiced hushed but laced with a heavy dose of excitement nonetheless. “Wait so, we are talking about the self-proclaimed Jedi Emperor of the Core, right?”

Kaili’s pre-conceptions of the man clearly bled through. The revival of the concept of a Jedi with a title such as ‘Lord’ was absurd to her, but she refrained from judging Loske for it. It was after all not she but her master who held claim to such a thing.

“Okay, but never minding that.” She waved her hand before Loske had the chance to even answer. “Does he make you happy? That’s all that matters. Anything else is… Circumstantial, I’d say.”

Loske Treicolt

 

[Loske Treicolt]

Ah, the proverbial it. Loske blushed deeply, and reached for that drink the bartender had slid over to them. Usually this subject didn't come up, and she didn't particularly care. But for all Loske's encounters with adrenaline-filled interactions with fellow pilots, hotels and beautiful crystal water-filled tombs with Jedi, dance floors with space trash, and other random intimate locations and individuals, there had been no proverbial it. In the end, she was a hopeless romantic and required a level of commitment before any sort of carnal knowledge was exchanged. Especially since she still had some deep-rooted concerns and questions with her own chemistry (although, those were dramatically mitigated when she learned her brother had a hand in a child's conception).

She spoke into the glass, clicking her teeth against the rim. "Uhm, my whole life. I've lasted my whole without life it." To be fair, that lifespan was a whole of five years or so outside of the lab on kiffu, so it wasn't quite so dramatic. She set her glass down and wedged three fingers into her teeth pensively, her elbow on the counter again.

Cedric's reputation preceded him and she nodded slowly, withdrawing her fingertips from being nervously chewed. She'd approached him on the whole governmental thing, and what could go wrong and right, and he'd eased her mind on it. It was part of why she respected him, the freedom of honesty between the pair was refreshing. But quickly, Kaili Talith bounced to the next question and all Loske could have done was nod.

"So far, yes." She nodded, more definitively this time and clasped her hands in her lap. "Quite.

You should meet, one day. I mean, if it goes beyond month two of course." As cavalier as Loske's façade may have been with that statement, she hoped it did. She hadn't had a crush like this since...Micah.

 

[Kaili Talith]

Well now, that was certainly a familiar path. Before everything that had come to re-shape Kaili — well, reshape to some extent — the lack of ‘it’ was all too familiar if not an entirely alien concept back then. Her mind had been pre-occupied with only two things: her company, and her droid. Which naturally wasn’t to mention the deep trauma and post-traumatic stress she was processing at the time, of course, but that was hardly as much fun to remember. In fact it wasn’t fun to remember at all. Kaili noted the way Loske reacted to the question in itself and began to back off. Metaphorically speaking. She remained seated because at this point standing up was just… A really bad idea.

“Well,” She said and grabbed Loske’s hands. “He is lucky to have you. Really.”

“I think Mara would have come up to me at this point and be all ‘but Kaili you always ground yourself so firmly in the ground you can’t see past the roots of the trees’, but I am… I…”

Wait, she was getting ahead of herself.

“Look, I am trying to say…” Kaili let in a deep breath and then exhaled it. “As long as you are happy, that’s good. One person can make all the difference, but things get rough sometimes. Actually, no, things get really rough and in the middle of all that you always need to stop to ask yourself if you are living for each other, or if one of you are living for the other. ”

Kaili had learned that much.

“Love for the sake of love is no love at all.”

Loske Treicolt

 

[Loske Treicolt]

That bit of insight was...incredibly deep and unexpected. Loske's reaction was atrociously undeserving of Kaili Talith 's insight, because she could only blink in surprise at the pivot of seriousness in her friend's tone.

She looked down at her hands, and felt a warmth in her belly, an appreciation for the friendship the two unlikely girls had formed over distances and odds.

"That sounds like it's coming from experience." She murmured, gripping her friend's hand back in some sort of sympathetic hand-hold. "I'll probably try to give you a call if and when I need to check myself. This is, totally new to me, and I want to give it a go because I think we both deserve it." She was speaking on behalf of her...boyfriend? That was such a strange word. Didn't like it...beau? not that either...she'd have to work on labeling. For now she'd just refer to him by his name.

"Thanks, Kaili." She hadn't meant to get her friend's blessing, but it felt nice having it...to an extent.

The ship's ebb and flow started to reduce, and an announcement crackled over the loud speaker system that they were starting to arrive in the port. All passengers should be collecting their things and preparing to offboard within the next forty-five minutes.

"I'm glad you gave me that call, this has been.." she sunk back in her chair, pulling her hands with her. "Really real."