Just a Feeling

[Jairdain]

With her eyes closed, Jairdain did not notice either the failing light or the hair color change. All she knew was her journey had accomplished far more than she expected. Instead of it being a partial healing, Solan was returned whole. His mind belonging to himself, yet still remembering everything that had happened. There was now a clear division between himself and those others he had taken in. In fact as that kiss progressed, those other minds with their memories faded. Solan would no longer need to figure out which was his, for the only one there was his.

What was intended as a kiss to his forehead he altered just slightly. Instead of a platonic kiss of sealing the deal, it became much more. That kiss could have lasted two seconds or two days, it mattered little. The end result though was what mattered. Bringing Solan back and that kiss she felt bound them together. Time would tell on both counts, but Jairdain was quite confident this encounter meant something. More than anything random, maybe the Force had brought them together and sealed their fate.

Eventually he broke the kiss and pulled away. Letting out a sigh, she enjoyed being held by him and returned his smile. Her hand still held his and her other was behind his head.

"Not what I was expecting, but certainly something I can get used to. How do you feel?"
​
[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]

"Pretty good, feeling a bit light headed but I don't think that is due to what you did... well mostly." He smiled, not knowing what she would say in that dark space and not sure if she could see his features. By this point the memories had ended and Solan was laying there in that darkness, holding Jairdain close to him. He looked at that space infront of him, imagining her hair resting on her face, eyes looking at him even if not even seeing him fully.

Solan was actually a bit happy laying here like this, not sure how to take it and not sure what to say. It was actually pretty new for him. The times that he had been int his position were few and long ago, leaving him unsure what to say or do. So he just smiled and let the time tick by, wondering what time it was, or if it was day outside. That last thought was probably impossible but his mind couldn't stop for once as he continued to think about things, actually aware of his situation.

He tilted his head down a small bit, leaning his forehead against hers and closing his hand a slight bit tighter on hers, his other hand rubbing the small of her back as he held her close.

"And you, how do you feel?"

 

[Jairdain]

Her breathing leveled out as Solan spoke. Jairdain was wide awake and very tired at the same time. He said he felt light headed, but that it wasn't entirely her fault. At the start of this, he had accepted her offer of help. So it was also partly his fault. Smiling as she thought that, she picked up from him a sense of happiness, but also a bit of confusion.

No not confusion entirely, that was wrong. They shared a comfortable silence and that was fine with her. Having all of his memories in her mind, Jairdain knew just how he had been truly alone. Locked inside of himself and unable to escape. Until she had come along.

There was no need of light for her and she suddenly thought of that for him. However, one of her hands was still up behind his head and her other was intertwined with his. With his arm around her and holding her along with the gentle massage kept her in place. He returned the question and asked how she felt. Their foreheads were touching and another kiss tempted her something fierce. That feeling would be felt by him and Jairdain did not attempt to keep it from him.

"It's just a feeling, but content. Like I said before, something I can get used to."

Knowing of his past, she wasn't sure how he would react to another kiss. However, she felt he would be accepting of it. This kiss was different than the one that had helped draw him out. That was something she had intended to be like the sealing of a deal or bargain. Before she could think any further on her decision, she tipped her chin up and would attempt to give him a very soft kiss on his lips. It wasn't full of passion, but instead a sense of tender caring, sympathy and a deep desire to share with him.

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]

Solan did not stop her and as the soft kiss met its mark, Solan would enjoy the quiet moment. He did not want to disturb this moment, not want to ruin it and not want to change what was happening. Instead he would just enjoy the moment, not wanting it to end and even hoping to keep things like this for as long as possible. He didn't know what to say or do, so he just accepted the kiss and smiled a bit as he enjoyed having her with him.

The kisses would continue on and off throughout the time spent there, the night dragging on and eventually the two would find time passing on. Solan during this time would for once in his life be truthfully happy, before and after falling asleep and the night continuing on. The two would remain in that snowcave until what they would assume to be morning, going off their own internal clocks and the next day coming in seconds.

Solan though, he didn't rush that time, even as he would wake up, he would enjoy things and remain in that spot with Jairdain, not sure what to do now.

 

[Jairdain]

Neither one of them had a clear concept of time and it did not matter. For her, everything was dark, but Solan provided a light for her. He glowed in the Force to her. From their exchanges earlier, it was clear he also knew how to use Force sight and she wondered if he was doing that. Not asking though, it was another detail that did not really matter. What did was what happened.

Her kiss was welcomed and returned. What they shared was real, not just something full of passion without feeling. At least not on her part. When morning came, she opened her eyes and her senses returned to her. Solan was already awake, but hadn't moved. He had decided to stay and just hold her. Smiling, she held him back before moving her head slightly on the chance he hadn't noticed she was awake.

"I think it would be best to search the wreckage and see if there is any food or something to use while we are stranded here."

Not sitting up or really moving, she too did not really want this moment to end. Knowing it had to though, she was prepared to get a start on the day.

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]

Solan nodded when she brought up the food, he also wanted to try and finish the snowcave to a better size, though he did enjoy having her next to him. His eyes looked towards her and he thought on the situation, his fingers finally snapping to produce small flame that hovered in the cave. It was hard for him to see with force sight, the area nondiscript and without the force to help him. And it was only then that he seemed to pause, Kira seeing the change in Solan.

"What do you mean my hair?" He looked at the wolf and sacrificed his eyes to see what Kira might be looking at, or atleast an idea of how to see that and he blinked, reaching up with his own hand and running a hand through his hair, pulling a strand free and looking at it before blinking.

"Huh... so Jair, you may have to update your mental picture of me... my hair doesn't appear to have much color left.." Solan knew how the force could kill a body or sustain it, and reasoned this was one such time.

He shrugged and smiled though, looking her in the eyes again and speaking.

"Though, what happened to cause this is certainly worth it."

 

[Jairdain]

She was just as curious as to what he was talking about when he spoke to Kira about his hair. Her own vision and version of color was probably way off of what everybody else thought they were. While Jairdain had been granted vision a few times and common conversation had told her the sky was blue and the grass green. Many others were mislabeled in her mind.

He pulled his hand away with a snap he produced a light for himself and Kira. When he did that, he mentioned his hair and told her to changed her mental image of him. Having seen him quite clearly the night before, she knew exactly what he looked like.

"What color is no color?"

What he said after gave her a sense of warmth she had no logical reason for.

"I think you would have tried the same, even knowing what it did to you."
​
[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]

Solan realized he was trying to talk colors with a blind person and tried to think of something she might have seen, if only for a few minutes that would be an example he could use. It was then that he realized a simple answer, it was something she should have seen in his memory, or around them as it was.

"Clouds or Snow, that color that those two things are. Its Called white, and its not actually a color... rather the absence of such. My hair is now that color." He smiled and thought on how he was explaining colors to a grown woman that he was close to, both in proximity and after last night, a bit more mentally so. He still remained still though, not moving or worried about the change as he could feel something else and that was his body being stable for once.

It had been a long time since he had not needed to apply the force to keep his body from eating away at itself, and for some reason he was not feeling that anymore. He needed to get looked at by Alexandra after all this was done but if his place in the force changed that much because of the elimination of the other memories and minds that had twisted him... it meant he might be able to live a full life.

A thought that made him even more happy when his eyes found Jairdain again and he leaned his head in to give her an almost random kiss.

"I wouldn't have succeeded without you."

 

[Jairdain]

Education and life had told her what snow was and its color now had a name. When it came to snow, through the Force it was colorless, but since her world was dark, that lack of color did not really apply. However, she did understand what he meant. Smiling at the brief bit of education, Jairdain knew she had much to learn. Even if it was only color.

That change in color meant nothing to her since it did not change the man in front of her. It was an unexpected side effect. There was an additional one and that he would no longer need to use the Force to stay alive. She sensed the joy in him, but not the why.

The additional kiss was unexpected as well, but certainly not unwelcome. It was quick, but she had the chance to react and returned the peck. Smiling at his words, she nodded just slightly and shared in the happiness he felt.

"There is much more where that came from. Again, just a feeling Solan. I cant explain it, but I know it here and here."

Her free hand moved from​ her head to her heart and rested again between them when she was done.

"What now?"

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]


Solan leaned back and sighed, knowing that they had to get moving and get some supplies if they could from the ship, as well as he would need to get some kind of signal in operation that would tell where they were. There was alot he could do and they might be able to even seal of a portion of the ship, power it using the generator if the ship wasn't too significantly damaged. The fact they weren't consumed by an explosion was hint enough to him that they had a chance.

He was not engineer like Alexandra, the woman being far more suited for this situation but he certainly knew that he could try with what he knew. His eyes looking to the entrance and wondering if there was some way he could help Jairdain out, knowing she might go stir crazy if she were stuck in here.

"If you got back to the ship, would you be able to differentiate your world around you inside there. There might be a chance some of the ship and even a few of the generators survived, and if so it means we would be able to have a far more comfortable and warm shelter, one that wasn't hiddent from rescue." Their best option was staying near the wreckage, uncertain who or when someone would pick them up, but he knew a good nuber of hours had passed, at this point they needed to survive.

 

[Jairdain]

There was silence between them as Solan was thinking. Not disturbing him, but also thinking on things, Jairdain realized that even in helping him, her own mind was still a mess. While she felt a little better and had a sense of accomplishment, she could tell she wasn't healed. Not as far gone in things as he had been, she was falling to pieces and had no way to put herself back together this time.

His words brought her out of her reflective thoughts and she nodded before speaking.

"Yes, I can do well enough. There is life of sorts in pretty much everything. I may not be able to read what something says, but I can usually tell what an item is."

Not at all sure if that ​was the answer he was hoping for, it was the best she could do.

"Admittidly this shelter is actually quite warm considering it's in the snow. I would just need help getting out, but even then my hands have feeling so could do it on my own if needed."

Hesitant to end this she knew it had to, he would have to move first though to make room for her to get up.

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]


"I would suggest not touching the snow too much, frostbite is a very real danger and I would be saddened to see you hurt like that..." He said it without thinking and looked off to the side after, trying to think of what to say now. In the end he just sighed and smiled, looking at her face and keeping a bit of a grin on it. The reason becoming apparent soon enough when he spoke.

"True, it is warm, but I think you and I would both prefer a bed... as for you avoiding harm till we get to the ship, I could always carry you." He was still a bit awkward in how he said that, how he even looked. But he was atleast giving a half smile and trying to make it look confident. With her having his emotions and the other personalities gone from his head for the most part, Solan was a bit lost on how best to react to her.

With that, he pulled himself off the platform, slowly getting to his feet in the small area and working his way to the exit. The block of snow kept there had sealed in the heat and he had needed it to as that would have been dangerious for them had they not been careful with the situation.

 

[Jairdain]

Frostbite wasn't something Jairdain had given any thought to, but knew it was true and a danger. She didn't think it would be an issue though. He would be to tell far earlier than she could if that was a concern of his. When he made the comment though it made her feel warm inside and she smiled. Unaware Solan also wore a smile, they probably would look like a happy couple if somebody was looking at them.

Her eyes glittered a little when she spoke after he finished and that smile remained on her face to be heard in her voice.

"You would do that? I can walk fine though. Just a guiding hand and your presence are enough, Solan."

Focusing on him as he got up, she would do the same once room was made for her. Stretching slightly, she let out a small sigh as feeling returned to some areas and the muscles relaxed.

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]

Solan smiled as she said all she needed was a guiding hand and that he would not need to do that, but he had no intention of letting her wander off. He was enjoying her company and something made him happy and smile as he continued to clear out the entrance. Finally though it would be clear and he would look out of the opening, seeing light filter through the branches of the tree that he had constructed the snow cave under. Slowly he would pull himself out and then bend down poking his head through again and speaking to her as his hands reached out to give her something to hold onto as she would be forced to crawl through the small opening.

It was then that he would continue with what he had said. As she was helped out of the hole, he would move and pick her up, holding her by her back and her legs while wearing that same smile still. His voice would hold a joking and soft tone, one that told her he had no problem doing this and even enjoyed the moment. He would hold her like that unless she objected, jumping with grace out of the hole and landing on the snow above, sinking a few inches, but using the force to make the snow more compact and solid.

"I think Ill carry you, otherwise you might sink down into the snow and get your clothes wet... and we cant have that out here, that would just make you sick if you continued to wear them after." He knew the implication would reach the woman, or thought that it might, and continued walking now towards the wreckage, holding onto her as long as she would allow him, and if so, all the way to the ship's skeleton.

 

[Jairdain]

One thing Jairdain had was patience. It might have just been her nature or maybe because she was blind. Living in a world of dark, time meant little to her. So no matter how long it took Solan to break the block away, it didn't matter to her. She did watch him as he worked though and that attention might be felt by him. When he motioned the path was clear, she got down and accepted the help he offered like he had the night before.

He had gotten her down the hole he built in the first place, so allowed him to get her out at all. Granted yesterday she had been out cold and didn't know how he had done it. The difference today is she wasn't going to be a dead weight for him to move around. Once they were out, he kept his hold on her and said he felt she would get her clothes wet as well as what would happen to her if they did. Her own quick thinking brought a question to her mind and voice it.

"What of your own clothes then?"

However, she did not object to being carried. As for the other implications...she didn't actually think of them.

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]

"Like I said, I can see where the snow is thicker and easier to walk on, so it wont be that bad." He shrugged while holding onto her, already starting out across the white plains to reach what they were looking for. Seeing the skeleton of the ship now dashed his hopes a small bit, as he knew something like that would never fly again but he noticed the forward bulkhead looked to be mostly intact. If they could restore power to that part of the ship, it would mean that they would be able use that as a far better shelter, one that would keep them in the open.

He looked down at Jairdain for a moment, staring and blinking as he drew his focus away and back to the task at hand. He felt far younger like this and he couldn't help his mind running rampant as he continued on. It felt strange to be constantly thinking about something like this without it being that important. It wasn't a battle, it wasn't work he had to get done or a project he had found himself absorbed into. Actually, it felt very familiar and as he reached the door, his mind trailed off to when he had actually felt like this last and he nearly stumbled over himself as he stopped watching where he was going. He couldn't catch himself though.

The two fell forward and into the snow, a few feet before the wreckage and Solan blinked as the world turned white and the air grew even colder on his skin. He had been able to turn though, keeping from landing on Jair but that meant while he when down first, she came down on top of him. His eyes widened as the two of them were sprayed with snow, covering both and the two sinking into it quite a bit as he stared at her after the fact.

"So much for the two of us keeping dry..."

 

[Jairdain]

His points were valid and she did not object. If she became too much weight or if he started to sink through the snow too much, she could always hold onto him for guidance. However that never happened and while she did not know how far they had to travel, she rested in his arms quite comfortably.

This gave her a chance to think on somethings. Even in her emotionally torn state, Jairdain could think clearly on some things.For whatever reason, she was thinking about her past captures and while Solan hadn't done any such thing, she got slightly fearful. Not even about the situation they were in so much as not being free. They were trapped in this winter land as much as she had been trapped in captivity.

While she knew pretty much everything about Solan, he knew almost nothing about her. He could pick up on her emotions and feelings easily, but he wouldn't know why. Being in as shattered of a state that she was, she assumed that maybe his stumble was due to her spike of fear and not him being lost in his own musings.

"I'm sorry!"

Blaming herself, it did not bother her that she was wet and there was guilt almost dripping off of her. Realizing after about two seconds that she was sitting squarely on top of him, she moved to climb off unless he stopped her.

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

He watched her look guilty after the tumble and blinked as she apologized. He was confused for a few moments but soon figured out what was going on in Jairdain's mind. His hands moved and held her where she was on top of him, smiling at her and thinking on the moment for a a short time before instead of speaking he just leaned forward. A quick, chaste, kiss was all he did while laying there with white powder coating his hair and clothing, making his new appearance even more apparent had Jair been able to see them.

"Why are you apologizing... atleast this way, we both share in the situation, no?"

He did not explain or say anything more, letting her reply or act before the two would move to stand up and get through the last few feet of snow to the door. Solan continued to brush himself off with his freehand, the other holding onto Jair and helping guide her to the door. It would be there that the force came in handy, prying open the metal and giving them a way into the ship before once more using it to seal the entrance behind them.

"Well, now that we are in a dark corridor with nothing around, I think its about time we start walking. And this is probably where you will shine a bit brighter, like the blind beauty you are."

 

[Jairdain]

As soon as Solan reached out his hands to stop her, Jairdain did not continue to move to climb off him. Though he did not say anything, he did lean forward to plant a kiss on her forehead and asked why she was apologizing and mentioned maybe they could shared in the blame.

It was probably a good thing she was blind because right now she didn't feel like she could meet his gaze. As it was through the Force, he might even be able to sense her hesitation. It was probably quite similar to how he had been feeling the night before when she offered to help him.

"I am scared."

Admitting that much was a milestone, but it wasn't the whole race. A start only. It was all she said for now, but she knew they had to get moving. Taking care to stand up and actually offer to help him, when Solan did get the ship open, she took the lead.

Thankfully, the darkness around them hid her face, but she wore a smile along with bright pink cheeks from the blush as his comment.

"Do you need a light? I have my saber or a flame."

[member="Solan Charr"]

 

[Solan Charr]

[member="Jairdain"]

He listened to her say she was scared, and the question about a light came soon after. If he wanted to see he could just use his own abilities pertaining to Force sight but instead, he wanted to do something else.

His hands came around her and hugged her tight, forcing the two to stop and he held her like that as they stood in the complete darkness of the hall. His had leaned forward and he spoke, his words soft and barely carrying on the air.

"Nothing to be scared about, I trust you to be able to lead me through the halls without a saber or a flame Jair. And I am here if you need a guiding hand too for anything that is on your mind. Just say the words and I will drop everything."

His hands remained on her back as long as the hug continued and when it was over he took her arm, letting her lead him through the halls without any aids for himself to use. He was telling the truth, and believed in Jairdain to lead him through these dark halls just as he had gotten her through the snow that had covered the ground outside. He was sure she could have figured out a way to get through it on her own, but that wasn't the point.