Light of a Weapon

[Liliane]

Lilin took a moment to think before she would answer. She hadn't actually thought about a specific colour before, all that really mattered was that she wanted a weapon that truly belonged to her and nobody else.

"I guess I would like to have something beautiful. I would love orange or yellow or even purple, but if my crystal will end up to be blue or green, I have nothing against it."

The colour of the blade didn't matter much to her. It was just a colour -- she could get used to anything. Even if her crystal would have ended up red, she would have used it proudly, even though his true allegiance was the light side of the Force.

"Did you want to get the green one? Or did you expect to find something different?"

She started to feel a strange disturbance, just as if something had called for her. Just as if had called her name. She was slightly confused.

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

Jacen let out a low, rumbling chuckle. “I’m afraid at that age I was a bit of an arse. I actually tuned the two crystals to make sure the blade was a shade of gold. Just to stand out. Symptomatic of the aforementioned “bit of an arse” condition. Didn’t serve me well, and I ended up leave the Order on bad terms,” Jacen explained. It was still difficult to talk about, but somehow phrasing it as advice for a younger head seemed to make it easier.

With the covenant, he was a bit of a greybeard. Heck, even the Republic Jedi council seemed to be generally barely out of infancy. Poor kids having him for advice, not that they’d listen most of the time. Then again, everyone learned from their mistakes and he had made plenty. Perhaps being a failure who’d clawed his way back onto the path gave him a better perspective for influencing the youngsters than a Jedi Master who had everything go their way in life. “Huh,” he mumbled to himself as they walked. That was an interesting way of looking at things that he’d never considered before.

 

[Liliane]

Lilin nodded while listening to Jacen's speech about his youth, even though she did not pay too much of attention to it. She was more distracted by the voices calling her. What were they? Were they the hallucinations one was supposed to see an hear in these caves? Or were they something real? Was she just going crazy?

She did not understand the situation at all.

Her eyes flickered around the place, trying to find the source of the voice. But she couldn't find it.

"I hear somebody calling my name..." she mumbled a short while later.

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

He accepted the uncomfortable silence as the teenage padawan looked back and forth. There was a change, or a shift in her Force presence. Jacen stayed silent.

"I hear somebody calling my name..." she mumbled a short while later.

The veteran soldier stepped back, moving out of the periphery of her vision. The time for whatever half-baked semblance of sage advice he could offer was over. It was time for her to follow her senses, to experience what she needed to experience as part of this endeavour.

“You’re fine,” he said quietly in a reassuring tone. “Try and follow it,” he whispered. There was a sudden pang of regret, as he realised that whilst he was now responsible for helping to guide some of the younger members of the covenant, his own son was lost to him. With a slow breath through his nose, he dispersed the feeling. There was no time for it now, so he sucked it up, stopped feeling sorry for himself, and concentrated and keeping the girl safe through this.

 

[Liliane]

Lilin followed the man's advice and started going towards where she thought the voice could have been coming. Even though she was not entirely sure where it could have come from.

She tried to follow her senses and the Force, but something distracted her. Something disturbed her and it seemed to come from quite near her. It was an emotion of sadness she felt. Was it the man? In a short moment, the disturbance disappeared, but she did not care to just ignore what she had experienced.

"Jacen, what's wrong?" she turned to him. She couldn't rest until she was sure the man was alright.

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Jacen replied, he couldn’t help but look slightly crestfallen. “I’ve interrupted your thought process haven’t I?” he said sadly. He waved one hand dismissively, “Put it out of your mind, I won’t let that happen again,” he said, not entirely believing himself.

“All of this,” he continued, nodding towards the stunning view of shards of light crossing the tunnel from a thousand different embedded crystals, “is for your endeavour.”

Idiot. Some teacher he was turning out to be. A great role model of a Jedi too. He was supposed to be able to effortlessly let go of the past, to live in the moment serenely. “Please, try to continue.”



OOC/ if pushed he might talk more, his first response was always going to be stoic.

 

[Liliane]

"I will not continue the journey unless I've ensured everything is alright," Lilin said. There was no reasons for him to be afraid to express who he was. If he couldn't have done that in the Jedi Order, then now as a free soul, he could. He didn't have to worry.

She did not move a step while the two walked. Even though it was going to be her adventure, she did not want to focus on only herself. Jacen was important like everybody else and if he had problems, Lilin would do anything to help him.

"Is something troubling you?"

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

Well, she was perhaps even more stubborn than he'd been at that age. Almost impressive. Her sudden insistence brought about a very abrupt response. "Look you've got enough to worry about, and I've got grown up problems to work out..." he started. Then he grimaced, reaching behind his head to scratch the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry, that was rude and condescending. Ahh..." he said, far more quietly than before. He looked back and forth for a perch, but found none. Instead, he crouched down on his haunches.

"I've got a son... And I've not seen him in a while that's all. Probably a few years younger than you, I'd imagine."

 

[Liliane]

That was... sad. To never see your own child was something she would not want to happen to her. She didn't know if the while was a few months, a few years or perhaps the whole lifetime of the son, but she did know how difficult it was not to see family members for a long time. After all, they seemed to be the only ones you could rely on in the end of the day. Losing somebody so important definitely wrecked one's heart.

But she turned around while releasing a long sigh. She didn't want to continue her adventure without hearing more details, but she had to. The man didn't want to talk about the past and that was quite understandable. Nor did she want to do that.

She stood for another moment before her heard turned straight ahead and she started walking again, letting go of the emotions of angst, despair and sadness, and focused on the present. She had a crystal to find.

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

He really hoped he hadn’t just soured the whole affair for the young padawan. She’d started out so enthusiastic, and he was certain he’d ruined the whole affair. “Try and relax, get your mind back to a meditative state if you can,” he instructed.

“The Force will guide you, try to ignore any distractions – myself included!” he added, before falling into silence. He fell into pace behind her, but gave her plenty of space to start exploring on her own. However, he kept her in his line of sight at all times.

 

[Liliane]

Lilin focused on the Force. She could sense they were getting closer, she heard her name being called even clearer and louder as she moved on. But she also felt like they were really far from the crystal. Her senses were also slightly deluded, being influenced by the emotions all around. The sadness was just too distracting and she couldn't feel easier if she didn't get more details.

She truly hoped she would get to talk more openly about it with Jacen during the exploration.

She kept her eyes closed while walking for a few metres to remove all distractions she could. It did work, but not so greatly -- I bet everybody knows what walking blindly in a cave ends up with. Force Sense was a power she couldn't use all that well; she was no consular-wannabe, she wanted to be a warrior and fight, not just sense the Force.

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

“He’s on Coruscant,” Jacen blurted out. The tension was palpable, and even without the Force he knew that leaving the conversation hanging in the air was not conducive to the Padawan’s trial. “But that’s not why I haven’t seen him in years. His mother moved in with a recruitment consultant, whilst I was serving with a private military organisation,” the emphasis on the occupation managed to effortlessly convey his loathing of the other man.

“My fault,” he said with a shrug. “I had a child too young, wasn’t there for them, dreadful father and husband really. It’s just…I find myself wondering. If he’s force sensitive like me, could he be being brainwashed into a Sith Acolyte right now. Is there some black-robed sith stood over his shoulder right now as he forges his first lightsabre crystal?”

 

[Liliane]

Sith.

Her eyes opened immediately and her face turned to the man carefully, yet rather swiftly. She stopped moving so that she could turn her whole body towards Jacen.

"I feel sorry for you. Your sadness troubles me. There may be one day you have to face him on the battlefield. I wouldn't manage to live with such depression," she muttered.

Kark, that was not the most comforting.

"I... would like to help you. We, the Covenant, must stay together. One day, I promise we'll find him so that you could live in peace."

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

"That actually...that actually means a lot to me," he said quietly. One hand came up slightly, as he briefly considered placing a hand on her shoulder. Instead he folded his arms across his chest. "Thank you Lilin. At the very least, if you meet a Sith mini-me, try not to skewer him!"

"Anyway, in the interests of not freezing to death, we should probably keep going. I can only apologise for being such a distraction so far!" The weight lifted for now, he gave the padawan a warm smile. "Let's get back to that crystal!"

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

 

[Liliane]

Lilin nodded and turned around. The crystal didn't seem too far anymore. Maybe her senses had lied to her before and had made her think the right crystal was far away, even though it was nearby? Perhaps it was the Force which tried to make finding it more difficult so that she'd have to prove herself as a lightsider, as a person?

Yet now... it felt like not being too far away anymore.

She continued walking and, for the first time in the cave, started feeling cold. So she showed the man to follow and then burst into a run. It was easy to move, especially because she felt really confident about the location of the crystal.

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

Jacen trod lightly as he followed the padawan. With long, loping strides he easily kept pace, without risking falling and cracking his skull on one of the crystalline protrusions. He took a moment to enjoy the view. Even as they went deeper into the complex, the light stayed with them. In fact, the increasing contrast between the shadows, and the beams of light that emanated from the crystal shards only made location more beautiful.

He stayed silent now, allowing his thoughts to be subdued by a blanket of serenity. Focussing on the location helped, and his past was out of mind for now. Part of him thought to caution the girl about the dangers of running in the caves. However, he could sense the Force moving about her as she ran. She was immersed in it now, it would guide her through the journey she needed.

 

[Liliane]

Lilin couldn't stop. Even though her legs hurt a little bit and she felt a bit tired now, she did not stop. The man was right -- she was completely immersed in the Force and there was no way she was going to let go of it. Her senses were a lot clearer now and she could feel the Force around her stronger than she had ever felt before. It must have been what Consulars and Sages must have felt every day.

She continued running, at the same time admiring the beauty of the crystals. Perhaps in a matter of minutes or in a worse case, in a matter of hours, one of these crystals would belong to her. And the thought of that warmed her heart every time she thought about it.

After moving a long distance, she did lose control over the Force Sense and had to stop.

"I am a bit tired."

Her senses became a little bit foggy now and she was aimless. Where had she been running to, she thought to herself.

"How did your crystal hunt go when you were a Padawan?"

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

"You know what? No one would ever tell me quite how long I'd been down here. I was never sure if it had been an hour or a week!" Jacen replied, between breaths. He found the least pointy looking outcrop and parked his behind on it. Finger by finger, he loosened his heavy gloves and then pulled them off. Placing them beside him, he undid a few buttons of his coat and reached inside.

"Ah, there you are," he said, before pulling out a shining rectangular slab. Jacen tore the foil from the top, revealing the dark brown sheen of the chocolate inside. It gave a satisfying crack as he pulled off a strip and offered it to the padawan. "It's good stuff," he proclaimed, "if a little cold and brittle. I'd let it melt in your mouth!"

 

[Liliane]

The girl was surprised to see Jacen would give her a piece of chocolate. But she took it with a gentle smile, cheeks slightly blushing, and muttered a 'thank you'. Right after putting it into her mouth, she could feel its coolness, but the brittle chocolate pieces soon started melting in the warmth of her mouth. It was supposed to give her energy, at least that's what she'd heard. And truth to be told, she truly loved chocolate.

"I think we're not too far away anymore, but I am not really sure."

She looked around, at the crystals all around, trying to understand if any of these could have been the right crystals for her. She truly hoped they wouldn't have to go on for a week or so to find the one little thing to put into her lightsaber.

Now that she was thinking about it, she had no idea how long they'd been in the cave. For a few minutes? An hour? A day? Her sense of time had become slightly deluded.

Looked like that happened to absolutely everybody in the caves of Ilum.

[ [member="Jacen Voidstalker"] ]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]

“Not to worry,” Jacen replied jovially. “Take a rest if you need it, and wait til you can pick up the trail again. It’ll come to you. And then we can get out of the cold, find you somewhere quiet and you can focus on building your first blade. Excited?” he asked with a warm smile.

He slipped a single square of the dark chocolate into his mouth. He let the square sit on his tongue until it went soft, before chewing it. Always the best way to get all the flavours out of good dark chocolate like this. Single sources from a renowned plantation. Everyone needed their little treats to spend their wages on. His vices had been significantly worse when he’d been growing up in the army.