Private Not By Chance

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

Avalore got an approving smile. Test passed. Both of them.

Ashin picked up her file and chunk of icetromper ivory. She shook snow off them and resumed working on an old Sith symbol.

"This is Naga Sadow's second sigil," she said apropos of nothing, happy to irritate both of them. "His first was more complex and heraldic; he took this one when he became Dark Lord of the Sith. Alchemical creatures like scorpions tattooed it into his forehead. The original, personal version had three points on each of the two side elements that surround a central circle. A more stylized version, with four points on each side, adorned Sadow's battlecruisers. The original symbolic meaning is lost to time, but I've always felt it represents either a rising sun or a flaming eye."

She pulled down her collar, revealing the same symbol high on her sternum.

"To me it represents transformation. Becoming someone new. That's what the Force shall free me means, the last line of the Sith code. Freedom from internal limitations, not just external."

 

[Avalore]

Avalore looked up with keen interest. "Does it help you? That tattoo."

She handed Noelle a serving, taking hers and retreating back her bench, snow-carver in tow and still lit. Her attention remained half torn on it, gaze constantly flickering towards the light that she wanted a chance to study, if just for a moment.

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle placed the food to the side, more interested in the ivory in her mother's hands than the story being told. She wasn't artsy like that, which was a shame, given this world. It made her all the more curious, her dour expression lessening slightly despite Ashin's dodge of her question.

"It's just ink," she dismissed back.

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

Avalore Noelle Varanin

"You're both right and both wrong. It's not magic, Avalore - and while it's just ink, Noelle, it's more. It's a mark of commitment, a painful sacrifice that unlocked doors in my mind and helped me overcome limits. It's circular, paradoxical, but sacrificing for something valuable is what makes the thing valuable at all. Sacrifice makes you strong.

"For once I'm trying to not be cryptic. Does it make sense to you?"

 

[Avalore]

Avalore's spine straightened, understanding churning inside of her in an almost inspirational way. The last 48 hours had not been easy. She more sore, frustrated, and confused than she had ever been before. She made the choice to shoulder through it for a reason. Even if she wasn't mature enough to put her own motivations to words, she understood sacrifice. She was sitting in it.

"I want one," came the soft, confident conclusion.

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle on the other hand did not understand her mother's lesson. Her brows pulled inwards, her gut dropping as her mind's eye watched herself grew increasingly more stunted over the moment.

She opened her lips to counter Ashin's point, ready to engage her on the philosophy of it, only to be interrupted by Avalore's sudden declaration.

Her nostrils flared, a rare but tell tail sign of distaste. "You've only been under my mother for a day."

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Noelle's right," said Ashin firmly. "Walk before you run, Avalore . You don't fully understand yet what you'd be committing to. But keep up the rate of progress I've seen, and you'll be ready soon enough."

She put the finishing touches on the ivory carving and set the file aside.

"Let's leave it there for the night. Rest up, both of you."

 

[Noelle Varanin]

"Good night mother," Noelle murmured, standing habit to peck her cheek farewell. Like she would have done with Spencer.

Her breath hitched as she caught herself, completing the motion and saving face. It was only once Ashin had stepped away that her chest loosened enough for her to find her seat again.

As the sith lord stepped off beyond the bushes, one phrase would reach her loud and clear.

"Why do you guys eat in the snow?" Avalore.

 

[Avalore]

The morning was bright and early when Ashin found herself chased down. Insistent knocks rapped on her door, Avalore's nose half in a book as she tried to let herself in.

"Have you read this before?" she started, cryptic yet enthused.

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"The Weakness of Inferiors?" Ashin snorted with disdain and let Avalore into the large, nearly empty room she'd shared with Spencer. Dressed for the day, she was engrossed in putting the finishing touches on the ivory Sith insignia at a small workbench. Ivory dust littered the floor. "It's the second of an incomplete trilogy by a man named Palpatine who died, oh, eight hundred years ago. A few times, actually. Not the best book around: the man was a megalomaniac who had trouble perceiving other people as threats or gamepieces or collectibles. But very useful for understanding how the Dark Side can offer you insight and options when dealing with difficult people. How far along are you?"

 

[Avalore]

Avalore spilled in, a fluster of energy as she scattered through the pages for the chapters she wanted. "All of it," she dismissed, bags under her eyes as she paced. "I finished it-- but I don't understand, it doesn't tell you how to do these things. 'The proper use of the Force can inspire awe and obedience in the weak.' -- do you know what he means?" She pressed, stopping short to face her.

"-- You're still making that?" Came the shocked follow up.

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"In the harsh light of day, I saw plenty of details to fix, so I'm fixing them." Ashin glanced back over her shoulder at Avalore . "Palpatine believed that clearly and precisely demonstrated power breeds loyalty, or at least allegiance. I'd submit that loyalty comes from being able to trust not just someone's strength and skill, but also their judgment and character. Strength, skill, judgment, character: develop those and you'll never lack for friends and allies. Palpatine, needless to say, had very few actual friends - Kinman Doriana, possibly Sate Pestage - all of whom were his servants first and foremost."

 

[Avalore]

Avalore snapped the book shut, frustrated with its lack of applicable guidance. "So there's no one skill, nothing I can-...learn? How is it 'the Force' at all if its all your own- merit or... choices. Isn't this stuff suppose to make me better than them?" Her ability to express her mind was choppy at best, but she was trying. Even if her lack of experience with the topic got in the way.


"How did you do it?"

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

The book shot out of Avalore's hands to settle gently on Ashin's workbench.

"Better than whom? Better than other people? Of course not. Of the ten most worthless people I've ever met, all were Force-users. You'll learn power and skill in time, but without judgment and character, you'll be...indistinguishable from the masses and the hordes.

"If you're hungering for a specific talent to learn, though, now's an excellent time for one of my perpetual favorites: enhancing your own short-term memory. I once flipped through a major book in an enemy's library, right in front if him, and transcribed it afterward."

She spent ten minutes explaining the technique.

"Now give it a try. Tell me what you read on page...forty-six."

 

[Avalore]

It wasn't what she wanted to learn, it didn't even answer her question, but it was something.

She sat on the edge of the bed, brows furrowed as she reached out and let the force flow through her. Like tapas, but not, she pulled its heat into her mind tried to not think about it frying her brain.

'Please don't overheat yourself from the inside, that really isn't ideal.' Ashin's initial warning.

Last lesson's fears found its way into this moment, an instant barrier to her focus as she sat tense on the mattress.

"I-" was her initial answer, her face pinching as she tucked her head to the side, mentally recoiling from it all. She opened her eyes, unspeaking, her struggle catching on her tongue.

"Can this backfire?"

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

Avalore

"Using the Dark Side is always like waving that stick on fire. You can always burn yourself. But no, this technique is remarkably safe. You're just walking back through your own recent memories and picking up on details you didn't fully or consciously process. This is a time when it's quite alright not to put much pressure on yourself; in fact, it's best if you don't. Relax."

 

[Avalore]

Avalore gave a small nod, trying to take Ashin's words to heart. She closed her eyes bringing the force back to her. Her heart spiked and stuttered as the initial fears spiked through. She took a deep breath in, willing it to wash over her.

She was not playing with fire.

Ashin would not let them die.

Her shoulders slowly dropped, her throat bobbing as she swallowed back a lump. She existed like that for a moment longer before finally... thinking backwards. 6am, 3am, 1am, noon. The page flickered to life inside her mind's eye, the number 46 written on the bottom.

Huh. She didn't realize they did that.

Her forhead pinched as she corrected her focus, willing her memory to look back up to the page. It sat blurred before her, like a dream after you wake. She pushed at it with no success, frustrated.

Relax.

She let out another long breath, the lines around her brows smoothing.

"The weak have never been known to believe in themselves or in their ability to wield power." She murmured, reading the first line of the page. Her eyes snapped open, her own memory filling in the blanks. "It talks about how not believing in yourself is the biggest block to growth. Those that think they can't will remain the weakest of them all."

She blinked, finding parallels in that line and her own struggles.

"Oh."

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"My mistake," said Ashin with half a smile. "I'd thought that was the section on political blackmail. Well done."

She gave the chunk of ivory a critical eye. The errors were gone. She slotted the ivory talisman into a bracket on a set of leather straps.

"You put it on the back of your hand and wrist, loop your fingers through like so - like a fingerless glove. It's your first Sith amulet. It'll make the Dark Side just a little easier, a little more intuitive."

 

[Avalore]

“Well I think it goes on to talk about them being the best targets for that,” she commented, preening at her success as Ashin studied her handy work.

She smoothed back her hair, quiet as she watched on. She reached out to take it, growing somber at Ashin’s explanation.

Did this mean she was nearly ready?

She slipped her fingers through it, flexing her wrist as she secured it in place. All at once, she felt the shift. Her nostrils flared, the hair on the back of her neck rising as she noticed something for the first time.

“Is it... everywhere?”

 

[Ashin Cardé Varanin]

"Simple answer? Yes. There's a longer answer involving galaxies, ysalamiri, and the Yuuzhan Vong - another time. You have the ability to feel and control an energy that flows through and between all living things. And more - the snow, the ground, the planet, the sun. With enough discipline and creativity, you can affect all of it in time."