Resistance (complete)

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Serena laughed "yes yes master sexy a new greatcoat" Velusia a gentle reminder. "You owe me a trip you said you'd take me when you made master" Did he remember what he said?

She closed her eyes. "Think of nothing, let it wrap around me blend with me, breath, feel" she was a bit apprehensive submerging herself in the force often opened her up to be assaulted by emotions and images. She flexed her fingers she knew Connor was near. She could hear him walking for a moment she wondered if he still had the dream of hurting her and the others.

"What if my empathy overwhelms me?" She didn't open her eyes she wanted to do what Connor instructed but she remembered the endless nights of pacing. The headaches. The assault on her senses.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

As he behind her back and forward quietly, Connor racked his brains as to the trip he promised – did her promise her? He couldn’t remember.

”Focus. Take your time.”

Of course, he would make good on his word, it’d be something he would need to ask.

Greatcoats are not sexy, Serena. And I have no idea about owing you a trip. Are you trying to use the Force to convince me otherwise?”

”Remember, Padawan – no distractions. Clear your mind and let the Force enhance your senses, your muscles, your very being.”

Rogue, he was that for a reason. He didn’t get results by being careful – pushing people to the edge was when they shone best. He paced around her now, dictating with his hand and making sure her eyes stayed closed.

”You cannot let your empathic nature overwhelm you. It is your gift; your ability to serve the Force and you must control it. You must be the one who controls your own power, for if you can’t, then you leave yourself open for others who will – the Sith. The more you learn to find your inner self, your confidence and your focus, you will then be able to silence the voices you hear because you will choose NOT to hear them. YOU will be in control of what you hear and when you hear it, leaving your mind free to block to outside forces.”

Connor worked his way behind her.

”No distractions. It is just you, and the Force. My voice is simply floating on air. Focus, Padawan. Focus.”

He stood a little off to her left and folded his arms, waiting a moment as she remained sat with her eyes closed.

Greatcoats aren’t sexy, so does that mean you wouldn't find me sexy, Serena?

Push them to the edge.

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Oh he did it again she called him sexy and he diverted to the coat. She focused on her breathing she wanted to achieve a point where she did not hear or feel it.

you said you'd take me to Rhen Var to see the citadel. Did you make all those promises just to get me to stay? And no Connor I called you master Sexy. And then sarcastic about the coat. I find you sexy. And. Other things

Serena went deeper into her meditation. She could not feel her hands or her legs. She was trying to forget she was empathic she wanted her other senses to be more prominent. A deeper breath. She heard his words as they provided the guidance to where she wanted to be.

The force shimmered around her. Then the emotions started to float in on the force Serena whimpered the members of the order even in their most calm states rippled with emotion. Serena began to fight to keep them out so many. Her breathing became more rapid, her lips parted to allow more air.

She whispered again. they're coming Connor

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor rubbed his hands over his face listening to Serena’s reply inside his own head. Turning away to look out through the trees into Voss, he exhaled slightly.

He hadn’t expected her to be so blunt in response…and Connor felt a pang of arrogance that someone had admitted something like that. He never had heard that before, and didn’t really understand what, why or how another could.

He was a man with faults and had done questionable things, and previously he had lied and manipulated the thought of love to Nima Tann, although that was all part of the Taung possession…wasn’t it?

”I will take you to the Citadel, of course. Rhen Var is full of history, for all of us, and I will share it with you one day.”

Rubbing the back of his head, Connor turned and didn’t know what to say

”Concentrate. Listen to nothing but the Force – go inwards, build up your wall slowly.”

He stayed quiet, and walked around slowly to now be in front of her, and it was then he stopped at her breathless exclamation. For a moment, he just looked at her. He felt a tremor.

Who is coming, Serena.

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Connor I always answer honestly it is not meant to embarrass you, or make you feel odd. It is a compliment please relax when you tense I feel it.

Always so non committal everything had become one day. She couldn't allow herself the distraction she had to focus on this. The task at hand that was seeming to be invaded by something, someone?

Serena was beginning to calm within the force but she did not believe she was where Connor would say was the state of emptiness. Who was coming, Serena was trying to find out who, what. She tried to push. Her brow began to furrow, she squeezed her eyes tightly with effort.

A flash of an image, Serena shrunk back from it as it reached out towards her. No NO NO!!! She went rigid only her fingers curled into her palms that lay resting on her knees. She bowed her head pushing the image away as she slowly backed away from it.

It is those that we found on Velusia.

Serena slowly opened her eyes looking over at Connor . "I don't think we got them all, and I'm afraid I'm the conduit for them to find us. I need to block them out"


[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Watching Serena, Connor could see the unstable side to her Force power coming through again – she was letting her empathic nature get the better of her.

”Padawan – calm down. Think. You are safe here, and what happened on Velusia stays on Velusia. We left no trace, no track.”

He rubbed his fingers along his chin for a second; would she really be acting as a beacon for those to pry apart her head to find the Silver Jedi?

”Build your wall. Don’t let the voices in – they are trying to frighten you, and I think you are letting them. If you don’t build that wall to block them now, you’re putting yourself in danger. You’re putting me in danger. Do you want to put my life in danger, Serena?”

It was a dangerous move, using the emotions as a tool, but it was also important that she knew what was at stake and how much she could turn the tide of a situation by focusing, by being calm and by acting on her ability.

He knelt down and didn’t move, nor did he dare pry in her mind to see just what she saw.

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Connor I don't want to put anyone in danger ever...she held her eyes tightly closed especially you. but I think I can trace them I think I can find where they are..but...it goes both ways.

She nodded to him though to show she was listening but it was hard to fight the instinct to know more and yet build the defenses she needed. I'm calm, I'm safe. Velusia they had me captive they know what I look like.

Build the wall but find them there had to be a way to do both. She could see in her mind the defense she needed, but she could also the presence within the force the one the turned looking at them pointing. Then she got an idea a false thought she concentrated on her birth planet of Kelada the prison world she could see it feel the cold of the cells, the dampness to the walls the prisoners groaning. Her parents fussing to be done quickly. Then Serena looked back to the place. Could she find his emotions Sith were emotions, they used them, they reveled in them. Focus on the emotions but keep thinking of kelada, and close the gap. It was exhausting.

Connor was closer she could feel heat radiate from his presence telling her of his closeness. Part of her wanted to reach over and touch him to reassure herself he was ok, but she knew that there were things she had to do under her own strength with her own convictions.

She wasn't afraid, she wasn't afraid. But she could feel the cold darkness reaching out.

I can do it I can do it. she whispered over and over to give herself courage and to let Connor know she was trying.

KELADA the Prison world where Sith could be locked away for a hundred years. KELADA dark dinginess.

Serena was drawing short breaths closing the gap at the pace of an earth turtle, She tipped her head down concentrating. Her hands slowly began to open her fingers unfolded and gently rested on her knees. If the force wanted her to use the gifts it gave her then she had to learn to accept the gift. That was the problem.

Emptiness with the blocks falling slowly into place to rid her mind of everything now so that there was nothing for them to find her on. To melt her presence into the force as she relaxed knowing she had an idea of where they were, of what they felt. She wanted to disappear her breathing became deeper more relaxed. Her mind began to settle as the last of the blocks went into place perhaps not as strong as it could be, but it was there and with more practice it would stay in place only to open when she wanted it to.

But this was one time she needed to do it over and over. She wanted it to be there without her thinking so hard to get it there otherwise all of her energy is always on the wall, and not on learning other things.

Serena picked her head up, her eyes till closed but her face was passive for now she was in control.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor knelt and did nothing, or said anything. It was something all Jedi had to do; to face their fear, to conquer the unconquerable to discover their true resolve.

Whilst her Force aura was strong, her mind was calm, but raging with thoughts and worries, concerns and solutions. Serena was gifted, but still hadn’t been able to accept that herself and saw what she was as a threat rather than a servant of the Force.

”Calm, Serena. Be calm – focus. You are safe, we are safe. Build you wall, but do not fall from it, stay in control.”

He cupped his chin in his hand and watched, hearing her internal thoughts and her external ones as she convinced herself she was in control. There was no danger from what she was doing, and Connor would make sure of that.

The early afternoon on Voss broke in the clearing, soft sunlight bathing down through the trees and nature bristling around them feeding the Force with life and peace.

”You can do this. When you silence them, you will have built your wall. You will have resisted.”

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

She wanted to build the wall quickly she wanted this to be done. She kept touching the force bringing it over in her mind seeing what she needed, but she could not help but see the blip that moved and weaved, coming toward them. It was coming. Danger.

As much as she convinced herself it would go both ways each time she tried to find them she found herself blocked the Sith knew what they were doing. She felt her fingers tense again curling as she went to make a fist. Serena tensed again the wall would not stay in place it would go so high and then leave small spaces above her head, the openings glaring down at her like a pair of eyes that accused her of failure, and ruin. You will be the cause of their demise it is only time

Serena shook her head her fears had to be conquered, sweat beaded up, and slowly trickled down the sides of her face. Ringlets of dark blonde hair clung to her neck.

Connor are you still here? she whispered through her mind. Slowly she was pulling away slowly she knew that even though the wall was there, it had cracks. She would have to work on the cracks. But had she resisted she wasn't sure, she felt no sense of accomplishment.

She felt there was so much more to learn about this skill, "Will the wall stay in place once it is built, or will I have to rebuild each day?" She was going to open her eyes, she hestitated though, she could now feel her nails digging into the palms of her hands.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Seeing the pain and panic on Serena's face, Connor reached out and gently took her wrists in his hands.

”Padawan, come back. Let it go.”

There would be another time to focus on this technique - not when she was feeling such evident feelings again. He shook her gently.

”Serena. I'm here. We will stop this for a while - your visions are holding you back, and they are not right.”

His voice was stern and forceful to snap her out of the trance she was putting herself in.

”You will need to do this each time you want your wall there - but when you do it, it will remain for as long as you feel you can keep it there during a conflict. It may only be seconds or minutes, but it may be enough to save you.”

Concern ate away at him, and he would wait until she opened her eyes and acknowledged him.

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Serena heard Connor acknowledging what he said, slowly and with great hesitation she let go. Her fingers uncurled as she drew a slowly breath, her eyes fluttered open and looked over at him.

"Why are they not right?" The sweat suddenly turned cold upon her but she did not let it show to him, not at this moment. She wanted to know what he meant, she felt...his concern. Concern that she had failed again, concern that she focused too long on it, what was it that had him concerned.

She gazed at him studying his face trying to guess without letting him speak. A terrible habit to try and have the answer before the question was asked.

 

[Connor Harrison]

He held onto her wrists, this time talking softer and more calmer, seeing the worry on her face.

”Your empathic nature; it's still not under control. These voices - these figures you're feeling from Veusia? I don't feel them, but you do - and it's behind the wall you're trying to build. If you build it, you're going to trap them inside your head and drive yourself insane.”

Giving her a soft smile, he brought her hands together under his.

”Do you want to go for a little walk, and maybe try some meditation to really clear your mind with me?”

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

She nodded yes, "It takes a lot to have that under control Connor most seem to have their skills just as a beck and call" Serena held onto Connor's hand to help her up, she rose slowly though her energy felt weak. "I feel like I'm working at control always, do you work at something like this all the time?"

This wasn't like running faster, or seeing the future, or even doing something diplomatically. This was a constant keep them out of your head to not hear them. Truth was it wasn't the loud voices booming that she heard so clearly that bothered her, it was the small whispers that she strained to hear what did they need.

"Connor I'm sorry I'm such a trouble ridden padawan" Why did it seem the others just went through training with such ease?

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor gently patted her on the shoulder and let her get her bearings while he walked around the clearing slowly.

”I work harder than most to keep things out. I think we all do, but I know if I let them in…well, the walls will come crashing down. It keeps me alert; prepared and aware.”

He looked at his feet crunching over the short grass.

”Don’t apologise to me Serena, we all have troubles. I just know many don’t admit them and let it out when it’s too late. If you address them sooner rather than later, you still have hope.”

Giving advice was far easier than taking it; but he was a Master, and so he would sort his own troubles himself and not let anyone else in – it was far too dangerous to do that.

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

​

[SIZE=12pt]He was pacing as he went around in a circle she on the other hand was standing still clearing her mind of thoughts that made her feel weighed down.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]He sounded almost like Dear Abigail from the holo news, would he next become Ms. Post and teach her how to stretch out her pinky when drinking tea. Sarcasm moved around in her thoughts, part of her felt like saying things that meant nothing and were for her own protection, she thought of driving wedges between herself and Connor. But she would miss his attitude of I can do it all by myself, and it's for your own protection.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]But then this was Connor, and she had never done that with him. She had always maintained who she was, and what she was. While she had grown stronger on many fronts she at times felt a small child within herself frustrated.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]“I feel I must work at keeping the emotions of others out” She watched Connor now. “It feels exhausting, I try to draw on the force for strength, energy but after a while I need meditation to regain what I’ve lost”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Serena took a breath. Taking advice was difficult when one thought they should be able to solve it and be self-sufficient. “Can we walk some Connor, please” She couldn’t stand still right now. They had not blown up the facility and it was possible that the Sith were coming but right now perhaps it was better to focus on something else before returning to that.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]She looked at Connor he was a bit complicated shifting in his stances trying to make sure she knew what she needed to know. That was his dedication. But there was more. He was very caring she had seen him with Coci on Velusia, he had great strength within him, he wanted to always do the right thing, and protect those around him. He had an odd sense of humor at times, and great patience. She was drawn to these traits as would anyone be. She had seen him look far away how serene for those moments his face had been, it was quickly washed away with duty. She wondered would he allow her to be closer to him, to be more than a friend, more than another Jedi. Only time would tell, if he would.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]There was a tired look to his face, the life of a Master Jedi she would assume. “Are you sleeping ok?” She questioned out of concern they shared that secret about their dreams, or their night mares depending upon one’s point of view.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]This jungle so full of life had held such wonder for her. So much had transformed since she got here she had moments of great strength, only followed by moments of great weakness. Serena’s reasons for being on Voss had changed from being here to keep her word to Connor to try, to trying to find that strength, and knowledge that would push her forward.[/SIZE]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Picking up her internal conflict, Connor nodded and gestured with his hand to stand.

”We can walk, talk, whatever you need.”

Bending down to take his greatcoat from the floor, he laid it over his arm and stood waiting for her amongst the clearing. The jungle was alive, but it was pleasant with the exterior of Voss still visible, so they weren’t deep in just yet.

He looked and smiled a little at her question.

”Am I sleeping ok? I am, yes. Well, I don’t get much sleep, but I sleep every night and use that time to unwind, reflect and try to blank everything out. I spend mornings meditating, trying to clear my head for the day which is easier said than done.”

Connor sighed softly and watched her.

”Why do you ask, and you’re not allowed to say you worry about me, because you are a Padawan, and I am a Master – so my job is worry, yours is not.”

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Serena always dealt with his last question first, and always felt this need to Gibbs slap him to make him understand that they were Jedi, but they were also friends. She shook her head at him and laughed.

"Connor when will you learn that I will always fret and worry over you" She smiled brightly at him, "After all who else is going to refer to you as Master Sexy hmm?" She was teasing him it helped to ease both their tensions.

She looked ahead, "I like to walk, as you know, I like the jungle and the ruins" Lately though she was beginning to wonder if the ruins were playing with her senses, researcher and Jedi.

She would let him digest that for a few moments, "I keep thinking all of this is happening for a reason. That the force knows something, of course it does right?" She looked at him questioning, but not sure he would have an answer.

"I will not be a padawan forever one day I will be knight" then she laughed again, nerves shaking her slightly.

"Tell me more on resistance, can I use it to protect just my mind if my body is being harmed?" He really was her closest friend, and yes she did have feelings of attraction for him. The loss of her father had indeed heightened her need for friends, and to feel close to someone.

If she tried explaining it she would sound silly.

She would wait to ask him the next question that had snuck into her mind.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a small, shy smile and a shake of his head at her comment, Connor indicated with his hands the path before them.

”Just…come on you, stop distracting yourself.”

This had tailed off from simple teaching now, it was the exploration of Serena’s mind and personality again, as there as so much more to discover about her and the Force empathy she used so well, but so dangerously. He nodded to himself as he listened to her speak.

”You’re right about both,” he interjected, ”because the Force is guiding us here for a reason. For what, I’m not sure as yet but I knew things happen for a reason; I am sure the future holds many more surprises for us. And second, yes, I have faith you will not be a Padawan forever. Just keep up your training and studies and you will go far.”

Connor could also have said she had lots of inner exploration to do; answers to find and fears to settle, but it was not his place. She would find her own way, and Master E’ron would know if ascension to Knight was the right thing for her.

They moved through the thin trees away from the clearing.

”Resistance will be there to protect your mind if your body is failing, yes. But, ask yourself, if your body is failing, and your mind is protected – what of your body? You need to know when to use the Force for the right reason; healing, strength, foresight, resistance. You don’t want to protect your mind too much if your body is weak, and your enemy can easily slay you if there is a chance you can fight back, or escape. Do you understand?”

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

"I can't help it Connor, I like being around you. Not only do you understand, you are patient with me, kind to me, you let me hug on you, and kiss your cheek. You make me feel comfortable with being just Serena. And just being comfortable with me, makes handling everything else so much easier" She looked at him, why was it he did not understand this.

"I'm a nerdy scientist Connor. I'm the last girl chosen for teams, dances, etc. But ever since I left school and opened myself up to all these other possibilities I feel like" She looked around then smiled stepping ahead of him and touching a single flower bud, "I feel like this flower. I waited so long to burst open and show myself." It was her turn to be shy as she looked away, she couldn't help her attraction to him. But it was so important that he see her with all the flaws, insecurities, and strengths.

She nodded though when he further explained what she felt was a compulsion to know how to do. In the back of her mind she knew she was going to need it.

"If my body is dying Connor I will let go. But if I am not I am going to fight to stay alive." She walked on along the path with him, she breathed deep. "Connor, sometimes in my meditations I feel like I separate from myself. Is this normal?"

She knew he would give her an answer on that, but she was also thinking about resistance and how it was used.

"Tell me something about you that I don't know" She looked at him a bit wide eyed but still smiling. She wanted to know everything.

"And then what I would like to do, is to resist you trying to infiltrate the wall that I've been building while we've talked" that was the key for her to be able to multitask and still keep the wall intact.

Now Connor being a Master and being someone she trusted would know her well enough to know the weaknesses she possessed. Would know what things to do or say that would weaken her, make her vulnerable. If she could practice this with him, then have him be forceful. She would have faith that she was learning what he taught. His encounters with the dark side he would know what methods they would use to break her. That is what she needed him to do to her.

Serena was smart she needed multitasking. It was why she held two degrees, it was why she learned sailing, wind surfing, cave jumping, rocking climbing and anything else that kept her mind in a state of busy peace. Talking with Connor and working on Resistance kept her in a state of calm he may not have noticed that in all their times talking that when she did two things at once was her most focused time.

Connor probably didn't realize this, her mother had said if she shared it that she would be looked at as an oddity. But didn't being a Jedi make her an oddity that everyone could identify ? Maybe she would tell him. It would crush her though if he thought her odd. Right now he thought her confused, maybe even erratic. Truthfully she knew who she was, what she was. Course adding the Jedi part was still a bit difficult, she just didn't feel that special. Not like so many others within the temple that reveled in being a Jedi. Not that being a Jedi wasn't unique, but she felt that they had failed to stop and look at their surroundings, that the galaxy was so much larger and they were so small within it. She smiled. What would he think if she said these things?

Serena was simple perhaps too simple. Maybe that was the problem she wasn't sophisticated enough.

She reveled in morning sunlight, and evening moon glow. She wondered at the stars above, and the history of the galaxy. How could anyone know who they were unless they knew where they came from?

She stopped looked at Connor, almost threw herself at him and just hugged him hard. Then let him go. She loved him, and there are many forms of love. Right now she loved her best friend and whether it grew into something else she did not know. But she wanted to make sure he knew he was special to her. Master or not. She giggled, Master Sexy.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The hug took him by surprise, and he let the wind escape his mouth that she knocked out gently and smiled, holding her in his arms and rubbing her back gently.

”You sure do talk a lot when you’re nervous don’t you – well stop it, there’s no need to be around me, you know that. I found you out there, remember all those months ago? Two paths brought together, and so if there’s ANYONE you can be yourself around, it’s me, ok?”

Resting his chin on the top of her head slightly, going over what she said, Connor swayed gently and let out a few bursts of air from his mouth as he thought about her questions. His blue eyes fixed on the trees ahead and all was quiet for a moment around them.

”Something you don’t know about me? Hm. Well, ” he thought back again as there was so much she didn’t know, but didn’t yet need to know, ”did you know I was a Jedi of the Galactic Republic before I came to the Silver Jedi?”

He had taken on her request to penetrate her mind, and he would do in the moments to follow. There was no gain in letting her know what or when he was doing it, because the enemy wouldn’t be so courteous when trying to kill you either.

[member="Serena Bouie"]