Resistance (complete)

[Darth Ren Malgus]

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

​

She had started to let go, but he was holding her too. His arms around her patting her trying to find a way to give her the comfort and encouragement she needed for these tasks that lay ahead. If they only knew a this moment all that truly lay ahead would either of them do something different at this moment. The trouble with time was it was fluid every changing.

She was relaxing too focused on that he was actually holding her back, she listened to his voice rather than the fluctuations of the force. I did not know. But then her mind started working again on the Sith from Velusia and all that was on the data pad, then there were the tablets from Shri-Tal that she needed to decipher for them, and the plant life of Felusia, oh her mind was rushing around multitasking events and looking for connections and reasons.

Why did you leave there Connor? There was a sway she had a single thought I am a leaf on the wind watch me soar.........she loved him so much. She took a deep breath again. The tablets that she still associated with this empathy, and the dark dreams that had followed. Connor's dreams...why had she ..oh yes..two paths brought together for a purpose...had they found that purpose?

She felt a pang of hurt the thought of her father had crept in all his dreams for her, she squeezed her eyes tight and fought for emotional control. She prayed for a moment that she had not disappointed him in life. The ache was there the emptiness of loss she did not want to open her eyes, reality was there reminders were there of everything.

It was pain that waited when she would open her eyes.

 

[Connor Harrison]

”Why did I leave? Well – there’s a story.”

Connor looked up to the trees, squinting his eyes a little as he quickly pieced it all back together to explain to Serena, to soothe her interest in him.

”I left because I felt a failure. I pushed myself too hard to impress the Masters of the Jedi Order and to prove myself, but in doing so nearly killed myself on Rhen Var. I came upon the Sith Amulet of Ulic Qel-Droma and, in my state as a young Padawan, I wasn’t able to contain the Force power within and when I touched it, my body shut down and I just…fell.”

He gave her a feeble smile and shrugged.

”Fell off a mountain, landed in a frozen lake and was taken back to Coruscant to recover and survive. But when I was fit again, I lost my confidence, lost my ability to do simple things and basically just felt a failure, and so I left the Order to wander alone to try and re-discover myself.”

The two walked under thick trees and through rays of sun.

”It was a good few years before I was found by Grandmaster E’ron. Totally by chance, but I think the Force brought our paths together and I started my journey with the Silver Jedi. Between that and me leaving I walked the line between self-destruction and redemption but never found it.”

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

He was holding her and walking with her it was a dream for certain she must be sleeping she must be lost within a vision. She could not help herself but to listen intently. The sounds of the jungle were fading away become the soft music of the background, and his voice the focal point.

She understood failure, and the sensation that went with it. That empty feeling that seemed to touch upon everything you could touch, it permeated everything until you found it so over whelming that you had to walk away or be consumed by it. Yes she understood that feeling of failure, she had felt the feeling of failure.

Rhen Var no wonder he knew so much about it she was beginning to forget why they were walking and what she had asked. She liked that he would share this with her not keep it hid like some, dark secret. This felt more like friends than co-workers and too often that was how he made her feel. A Co-worker get so close but not closer.

The mind that needed to be doing so many things at once was taking a pause because he mentioned how he was hurt, she hurt because he said he had. She squeezed him tight for a moment, though it was in the past she was sorry that it had happened to him, sorry that some lessons are so painful.

She sighed and did not know why. He truly had seen a great deal since his walk with the Jedi began. "What did the amulet feel like, in your mind you must have been able to remember a sensation? Did it give an emotion?" There were Jedi who could feel emotions and get images when touching objects.

Her mind switched over to listening what he would say that would trigger what tasks she did next.. If he was trying to slip into her mind she might not realize it at this moment.

 

[Connor Harrison]

As he spoke of his ordeal, he began to use the Force to twist her mind. Distraction was always present, and could she syphon away his distraction to resist the toying with her mind. His pace was casual and slow, linking arms with her and talking as if they had all the time in the world.

”The amulet?”

He hummed quietly.

You are weak, Serena. Don’t embarrass yourself in front of me, because I know what you’re trying to do.

”Not that I can remember – I didn’t really feel it, I was too busy trying to impress my Master!” He laughed slightly and shook his head.

Why are you here? You are doing nothing but holding me back.

”I think as I touched it, from what I can remember I just felt warm and everything really just went black, like my mind and body shut off along with the Force. Immediate peace and calm. And I fell.”

He shrugged gently and turned to look at her.

You know you want to. Give in to your desire. Show why I shouldn’t give up on you because you’ve done nothing but disappoint me.

Connor turned his head slightly.

”Serena, are you ok?”

You are wasting my time!

His face fell slightly. ”What’s wrong…?”

I will kill again, as I tried to kill before, Padawan.

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Serena was smiling listening then the icy pricks of harsh words slipped into the flow of the conversation. Words that were painful, as if he truly had looked into the recesses of her mind to bring forth the soft spots that he was now stabbing at.

She looked at him he seemed fine, himself.

I am not as weak as you may think She had grown stronger over time, there was a time and a place for all things the force is an ally it is not the enemy.

Her breathing picked up.

"You Connor, I don't see you as someone with such insecurities" She didn't she at times had him on a pedestal that would inevitably crack and fall.

holding you back? She clenched her teeth berating herself do not give in to such words.

She felt sweat beading on her lip and at the nape of her neck, the ice that was slipping into her mind though playing with her emotions twisting the words and thoughts that she had entrusted to him. Her eyes were stinging, she would not cry no SHE would NOT.

"That sounds I don't know how it sounds, there's nothing I can say to such an experience but once again I am glad that you were not harmed, that it seemed to have helped rather than drive you another direction" It sounded like a key incident, a key moment in his path as a Jedi.

Disappoint? She stopped now, she took a breath resisting now the temptations to give in to emotions that had no basis except for the taunts that poked at her insecurities, her wants, and force forgive her her desires.

Because I am like you the more you test me, the stronger I grow. If you are disappointed it is because you do not look at me closely enough to see my strength. As much as the words hurt her she knew within her was a strength that could move mountains.

"I'm ok" she whispered looking over at him, tiny blood vessels having burst in her eyes at such concentration to keep him from overwhelming her she half smiled through it. She found her link to the force the shimmering light around her that only waited for her to trust in it enough to ask, to invite, and to trust.

She spread her fingers and slowly turned her hand over and whispered please She licked her dry lips.

No time is wasted Connor, no time is ever without a merit Serena was breathing slower now.

No Connor you will not kill. I will stop you from it A vision just then hit Serena and she quickly let it go.

"Nothing is wrong Connor, the path is lit always" She did not let down her guard now, now she listened to the force

She stopped she did not share what she saw, the woman with violet eyes. Something about her would affect Serena. She did not know who she was, or why she would affect her but it was a matter of time.

She blinked, "Are you ok?" She wavered only a little standing there with her half smile.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor watched Serena and noted all her reactions; small expressions and movements. He smiled gently.

”I’m fine, Serena…are you?”

Stay out of my head. You won’t like what you find.

He cocked his head gently and reached out to take her shoulder.

”Do you feel your wall building?”

You know I’m going to knock it down.

[member="Serena Bouie"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Serena looked at Connor nodding for the moment as she fought her own demons and for control of her emotions. It was so tempting to say something to fight back with words that she hoped would be has hurtful as what he said to her.

The problem.

They both had darkness within them and it was hard to know whether the darkness was talking or if this test came from the light. She could feel the darkness growling and inching up her spine, it tingled when it moved. It poked at her tender spots waiting for gratification that she had given in.

But it is so interesting there the words were not hers this time. Serena reached out to the light, reached into the fortress of her mind where her secrets were kept where no one should ever begin to look.

The memories of Kessel, Kelada, Bastian, and Tattoine would blossom and she wanted no one to see them. NO ONE.

She was building a wall reinforcing it and then he touched her and the wall shattered into a million particles. She clenched her teeth and looked over at him, a test , and a test she had asked for. FOOL!

That wasn't Connor.

"I'm fine" she whispered, "I'm fine" again she inhaled, "I'm fine" each time more forceful than the last as she convinced herself, and him.

It was twisting, but she was...she was.........winning. Calm.

A deep breath. Followed by another. She whimpered only slightly this time.

She stood there finally. It was Silent. There was quiet.

She looked at him. Waiting. Was there more?

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor sighed and looked up at the branches, dancing in the trees above, the green leaves letting the light from the sun filter through.

”No more resistance now, Serena.”

Bringing his head down, he put his arm around her and started to walk, gently rubbing his hand on her shoulder.

”You did well, but you still are finding it hard to focus on the outside as you try to defend the inside. I could see you really trying, but because of that, I could see your weaknesses and your doubt.”

This girl really was an interesting Jedi to have.

”What bothers you, Serena. What are you trying to keep hidden away and prevent it coming out, because I get the feeling the Force Resistance is being used for both for you.”

[member="Wren"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

[SIZE=12pt]When she had first come to Voss all she had seen so much. An opportunity to take on a challenge that had been slipping away each year that she had decided not to pursue it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]She had met Connor who offered her hope and his word. His word to a stranger that he knew nothing about. Even on that day she had felt the darkness within her creeping up her spine she had always seen it as doubt.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Then what happen. Shri-Tal and the tablets, and the opening of her mind fully to the force. As a scientist her mind worked in so many ways and yet she had been able to hang on to the wonder that was seen within the force.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]The connections between everyone, the delicate elegance of life.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Where was she today, fighting to keep her sanity at all times. Before the force she could multitask in her mind to keep herself busy and calm, there were moments even now that she could but they were growing fleeting.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]It bothered her that she felt part of herself drifting away. The force was changing her and it bothered her.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]“My father’s journal was given to each of us to read when we were home, paying our respects. There’s a passage in one talks about me. About how when I was 15 came into his work room and picked up a shard of something slick black and oily with my bare hand” Serena made a face, “I knew better than to touch anything with my bare hands” I never thought twice about it not once, but it turns out the piece is a piece of a much larger object that use be part of the Temple of the Blue leaf Cluster.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]She let that sink in some, “I’m wondering if every time I am that much closer to succeeding if” she pursed her lips together knowing the last time she had this conversation they looked at her like she had two heads, “I wonder if the issues I’m having are coming from my having touched the shard. I don’t remember having all these problems until I started force training.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]“My issue with multi-tasking having my mind in three sometimes four places at once, and then the incredible focus I find in specific tasks.” She arched a brow, “and…why..I seem to struggle more than the others. I want to be the same person who showed up here on Voss day one”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Serena was not upset she was concerned she tried with such great effort in all things why was she not more calm now? She shook her head.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]“Every promise spoken to me now feels like mission that I’m waiting on the edge of my seat for” She shook her head again and began to laugh, “I want to feel like me Connor”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt][member="Connor Harrison"][/SIZE]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Rubbing his chin with his fingers, working out a puzzle like Serena Bouie, Connor thought and felt her issue nearly mapped his own. Struggling to find your balance with the Force after coming into contact with an item that holds great power; mentally or physically. Or even emotionally.

”I don’t have the answers, Serena. I wish I did, I really do.”

He chewed his bottom lip and looked at her, as if trying to weigh up her current and future potential with the Order and what she could do to challenge this subconscious trauma she was dealing with.

”Maybe you should do what I did – face the past, return to the place your experience with this issue began, and find the answers you seek.”

He turned from her slightly, looking out to the fields beyond the trees.

”Should I go with you? Probably. Will I go with you? No. This is one of those things you should do alone. It will test you both as a Jedi and as a person, and if you are truly strong enough, you will return her complete.”

Connor turned slightly to her with a smile.

”I know my methods aren’t the most practical, but I wouldn’t say something like this if I didn’t believe in you, Serena, and didn’t want you back here as a strong, confident and happy person to stand beside.”

[member="Wren"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Serena watched Connor he was thinking again it was in the way he rubbed his chin, the way his eyes seemed to focus on some far off spot on the horizon as he worked things out.

While she waited she looked once again to what was around them. I've come a long way since that first day walking in the ruins with Connor. There was so much beauty to see that day.

She nodded when he said he didn't have the answers, "You know something I think if you had the answers to everything I wouldn't trust you. It's good to know that you're still Connor who doesn't mind admitting that he doesn't know" She smiled at him then.

Did that mean going home, "It's unnerving to go there. That means entering my father's study again, and with him." She paused a moment thinking of her father sitting at his desk making notes on some new artifact, "him not there it's hard."

They were standing on the same path they had the day he convinced her to stay.

"Promise me one day you will take me to Rhen Var, like you did the first day we met" She kept this little smile on her face while he contemplated giving his word.

"Watch this Connor, something I learned"

Serena stepped away from Connor to stand within a patch of small blue flowers, "the force is a living thing, connecting us all" Serena lifted her hands palm down staring down at the blue flowers, slowly the tips of the flowers glowed with what would look like tiny lights, slowly Serena moved her hand and the lights light up touching everything that surrounded her, the deeper she dived into the force the wider the circle of lights became and soon connections of light were visible everywhere.

The trees to the flowers, the flowers to Serena, and ever widening like ripples until it also connected Serena to Connor. "Force connects us all" she whispered. Then she exhaled and the light disappeared.

"I was practicing illumination, light. And then one night when I was standing out here wanting to know my place in the galaxy, I asked for light and the whole meadow lit up" She looked down. "the silvery petals of that pink flower I touched the day I met you really did have tiny silvery little lights within it, all the force. Just had to look to see it"

She inhaled, "Just like the first day we met"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He chuckled and shrugged slightly at her words.

”Oh trust me, there’s plenty I don’t know. I may like to THINK I know, but I will always be learning and discovering more answers about myself as the years go on.”

Connor didn’t have time to answer Serena as she moved away a warmth in her aura that hadn’t been evident for the last few minutes. She brought about her illumination, and Connor smiled as he looked around at the dazzling display of life – of the Force – in the trees and flowers, stemming from the purity of Serena.

He walked around looking at the lights, something he hadn’t seen before, and lowered his head to the Padawan with great respect.

”I’m in awe. That was wonderful – see, you truly do have a strong connection to the Force and the life around you.”

Connor moved to her and took her hands in his, cupping them and holding them up to his chest.

”And yes, I promise you I will take you to Rhen Var. I give you my word. And if I forget, then remind me. Remind me some more if I forget after that. Just like the day we first met I felt something special in you, and I still do. Don’t ever lose that. Whatever you do, even in the darkest hours when everything looks bleak, don’t lose it.”

[member=Wren]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

"The galaxy is ever changing so how could we possibly know everything, about it and ourselves"

She looked at Connor as he looked at what the force had allowed her to do, "yeah and it happened all by accident." She wasn't sure if it had anything to do with a strong connection to the force.

She wasn't sure what she was ready for she looked around when Connor came over and took her hands, she laughed again. He just had that effect on her, and he mostly likely always would.

She nodded, "I will always remind you [member="Connor Harrison"] cause if I don't you will forget" She looked up a bit choked up about all of this.

Reflection and time.

But she also knew something else, the violet eyed woman and Connor if she had seen it then it was strong. Which meant? Well it meant what it meant and she needed to learn to accept and go on.

She had his promise though.

She knew one thing she needed her assignment desperately, she needed to put her focus into a few rocks, and a fresh place to explore.

"I think I have some things to do so, so I'm going to say our parting here Connor." For a minute she allowed herself to feel his heart beating.

This part of training was over. He had taught her the skill she needed now she needed to practice.

She withdrew her hands from his chest, "Goodbye Connor" she backed up a bit, then had a thought, "IF I get an offer to go explore some ruins on some planet, would you care to go with me?" She shrugged, "I never know what I will find, but I always find something interesting"

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor gave her a reassuring nod, as that was all he could do.

”If I am here, I will go with you. And remember if you need someone, if you feel lost - just contact me, ok?”

He encouraged her to come closer and he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug, closing his eyes and letting the Force of the nature around them belonging to their home world surround them and give them a sense of peace in a dangerous galaxy.

”The Force will be with you, Serena. Always.”

[member="Wren"]

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

She stepped back towards him if he only knew how hard it could be to leave him. She wrapped her arms around him reciprocating the hug. She buried her face into his shoulder then turned her head to rest her cheek on his chest.

"You will never be rid of me. I will call if I need you. You know I will." This could be the last peace either of them knew the galaxy in its ever changing ways could take peace from them all.

She raised her head up looking at him a good look.

She then stepped away and reluctantly let him go.

"The force be with you even in the darkest times. No matter where you go, or how far you go. As long as the force is with you I am with you. You need only reach through it and I will come."

She started down the path stopped and saw him walking towards the temple.

"Connor" he turned. "Just wanted one more good look at master sexy" She laughed and waved goodbye.

Fini

[member="Connor Harrison"]