Space for Two

[Dante Sotari]

The day after they let her out of the hospital, she'd found herself at Morgan's. The discussion had been difficult, heated, more emotional than either of them usually let themselves get. It had been.... a long time coming. Ultimately, it came down to a choice.

Stay.

Or let him go.

That wasn't the choice he was presenting, but that was how it boiled down. This, what they had been doing, was a lie. No, not they.

Her.

She had been lying. To herself. To him. She didn't want to care, didn't want to do this all over again.

But the idea of leaving hurt too much to bear. It was too late, it seemed.

She already loved him.

Dante woke up before Morgan did that morning- the opposite of how things usually went for them. She lay beside him, watching him. Why was this so hard? Why hadn't she walked away the second time. The third. The tenth? Moment by moment he'd become important to her, despite all of her attempts to keep him at a distance. She didn't want him here. She couldn't imagine him being anywhere else.

After Bea had died, she didn't think she'd ever find someone else. She hadn't wanted to find someone else.

Slowly she reached out, then stopped, fingers not touching his face before pulling them back. Sighing inwardly, she carefully, so as not to disturb him, rolled out of bed.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

Vance was exhausted.

Tired beyond belief.

From the moment of Rimcee until tonight he had hardly slept at all. It felt wrong, had felt wrong not to take care of himself (as if there were integral components to him that had been trying to force him to sleep), but until the day that they discharged Dante completely? Morgan had been worried and fretting. So, it wasn't surprising that he slept through and didn't wake up at the early creek of time. Nor was it surprising that her wakening and rolling out of the bed didn't disturb him either.

It was only later- maybe about five to ten minutes, before something felt off and Morgan's eyes jumped open.

Empty.

But where his hand touched there was still warmth. Not a dream. Not a dream. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes before slowly crawling out himself. Every bone hurt. How was it that finally finding some rest after these weeks that waking up made him feel worse?

"Dan?" He called out, while putting on some pants. Shirt. Stumbling in and out of the bathroom, before looking for her further. "You alright? Feeling okay?"

 

[Dante Sotari]

"In the kitchen," she called out when she heard her name.

There at the table, she had settled with her data pad. Last night, Morgan had said two names. Told her for the first time about his dead wife and child. How difficult it was even for him to remember them. How some days he couldn't remember their faces..... some days he couldn't remember their names.

She hadn't shared her own loss. The death of her husband. It hadn't been the right time, of course. Maybe another time she'd tell him. Last night it had been his pain, and their own shared frustrations, she told herself.

In some things, she was still lying to herself.

When he'd said their names last night.... and said that he couldn't always remember them, or their faces..... Dante had remembered. Repeated them in her head.

She had expected more time this morning. She'd had just enough time to put on a pot of caf and pull up public records. Not enough time to start looking.

Not for information. Not for her anyway. For Morgan. Later, she said to herself, putting the datapad away and returning to pour the caf by the time he came into the kitchen. She looked up, offering him a tired, slightly tight, smile. Dark circles under her eyes. They hadn't slept much last night, and she'd spent no small amount of it crying. They had.

"Feel like I got hit by a speeder but hangin' in," she said, offering him one of the mugs of caf.

She was subdued. Usually she was brisk and hustled out in the mornings, on the occasions she slept over. Or else drowsy and grumpy. But either way, she didn't linger. Certainly didn't make caf.

They hadn't had anything to drink last night, and she had a vague headache. Probably from not sleeping all that well. Even Dante knew she should probably hold off on tipping some whiskey into her mug.

"How about you?" She asked quietly.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

He settled next to her.

No doubt or confusion in his mind as hip checked hip while accepting the mug of caf. "Bones hurt, body, first night of proper sleep in weeks." Morgan shared with her softly as he took a sip. Then another one and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Is good." It did feel better once the heat started flowing through and warming him up. A few more moments of silence before he put the cup down and leaned against her.

Arms tentatively wrapping around her waist and pulling her an inch in.

"I need to know, Dan." Murmuring softly against her- oh, the fact that she was still here already told him things? But they had operated for so many months upon months in this space of ambiguity.

He couldn't do that.

Not anymore.

"Did anything change between last night and now?"

 

[Dante Sotari]

"Weeks? Geez Mor."

The time she'd been in the hospital. She didn't turn into him, but she settled her shoulder against his chest, tipping her head against his shoulder in turn. She held onto the caf for now, but her free hand settled lightly on his arm, fingers sliding across his where they slid around her waist.

"Should have them get you a script for sleeping pills or something."

In truth, the directness of his question made her uncomfortable. She was here, wasn't she? She'd made caf and everything.

"I dunno, does four hours of sleep count as change?"

It wasn't the time for snark. She knew that. But it just kind of came out. She bit the inside of her cheek and sighed.

"No. Just. I'm not.... look."

She turned around in his arms so she could look up at him.

"I'm not good at this. This isn't going to magically make me good at it. Make everything okay. But I'm going to do my best, okay? My best is pretty chitty though, so I dunno, don't get your hopes up on me maybe." She mumbled the last part, looking away again.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

First the snark.

He wasn't sure what to do with that.

Luckily for the both of them she pressed on in spite of her discomfort and was real with him. That was what Morgan had wanted- the touch of real and acknowledgement that things had changed for the both of them since the last night. His hand softly touched the tip of her jaw, coaxing her back to look at him, then tipping it up just a bit so Mor could lean in and press a soft kiss against her lips. "Neither am I, Dan, but we will try together and that is all we can do."

Murmuring softly against her before nuzzling her.

"Thank you for being real, it is what I needed and I appreciate it."

Didn't let go of her tho- instead pulling the caf to him and taking another sip while staying there. "I uh." A cough there. He felt all awkward either way. Even though they had shared and embraced one another in more than just the physical level.

"Do you- don't need to, of course, just- do you want to move in with me?"

 

[Dante Sotari]

She kissed him back briefly, taking the space he gave for his own caf to bring hers back up. She didn't step away, though that was her first inclination, instead staying there.

This was all so different than it had been with Bea. That had been easy. A swift, hard fall. Married two months later. Six months after that.... Dante blinked as she realized that she and Morgan had been together in their own weird way far longer than she had known Bea from start to finish.

It had been easy because they had never reached the point where problems might have come up.

She was chewing on that when he launched into the last part- Dante choked on her caf, trying not to cough it right onto Morgan's shirt.

"Whoa, whoa," she finally sputtered, eyes watering.

"Look that..... one thing at a time..... okay Mor? Like. Maybe let's start with breakfast together or something. I dunno, me leaving a toothbrush."

Space. Time.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

Petting her back as she sputtered against him a little bit.

Too much?

Certainly. Morgan realized his mistake about a second into the coughing fit that left her gasping, the caf almost spilling. In truth... he didn't remember how he had started his relationship with his wife. How it happened, why it happened, the high points... the low points. This was all new territory for him. Even when he knew that logically speaking he should know how to handle this.

"Hey, it's okay." Not leaning in, even if he wanted to. "I am... I am bad at this." That was the safest way to describe it.

She already knew too much about his memory problems.

Their faces, their names.

Dante didn't need to know that the whole experience was slowly fading away from him. "I just don't want to mess th-" His stomach rumbled loudly. Morgan looked down with a frown. "I think breakfast together sounds perfect right about now."

 

[Dante Sotari]

Her first reaction to his 'I'm bad at this' was almost 'ya think?'

She managed to keep that back because it wasn't fair and he didn't really deserve it. In the past she would have just let it out there. She was trying, and maybe the worst part about trying like this was that the only times he would notice would be when she failed.

Dante nodded, pushed up to give him a swift but firm kiss on the lips, and then they parted, scrounging up something to eat. Well, less scrounging and more putting together. For a dude that lived by himself, he had a lot more options in his kitchen than Dante was expecting. Especially considering if the situation were reversed he'd be looking at a fridge with nothing more than beer and milk in it.

Of course, that was one of the reasons Dante was perfectly happy living on base. No need to worry about any of that.

They were just sitting down with toast (she'd teased him about that) and eggs when her communicator beeped from the bedroom. She got back up, waved him off when he offered to wait ("Food's hot now Mor") and padded into the room to fish around and find her pants.

A minute later an unclear string of expletives came from the bedroom. The clearest of which sounded remarkable like 'that son of a batch'.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

He was halfway through the eggs (starving) when the cursing began.

Morgan frowned.

It continued.

He sighed, pushed the plate away and standing up. "Dan, you alright in there?" That moment Morgan didn't enter the bedroom. Door was closed, after all, and that meant privacy right now. Instead he just leaned against the wall next to the door and waited to hear something from her. "If you stopped your toe or something just let me know and I will get back to those eggs."

A tease there.

But part of him was at least a bit concerned.

Seemed weird?

 

[Dante Sotari]

She hadn't closed the door on purpose, just habit. She looked up from where she was settled on the edge of the bed, the message blinking on the communicator balefully. She was surprised he didn't come in- it was his room after all. Pushing back up, she padded over to the door.

Paused, made a face at the communicator. Mulled. Debated.

Let out a quiet ugh.

"Good news and bad news," she muttered a little darkly as she opened the door, comm in hand.

"Actually, mostly just 'this guy is a total arse face' news. Come on, your eggs are getting cold."

She shifted past him, leading the way back to the kitchen and plopping heavily back down into the chair. Once he was sitting down to she slid the communicator across the table at him. A pair of messages, one from their CO. And one from the 'arse face'.

"I'd wonder what it was like to pull rank on you in the bedroom, but this isn't funny at all so I can't even enjoy that," she grumbled.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

He had started eating the moment his body dropped into the chair though.

Good eggs.

But the speed of the meal slowed down substantially once the comm was pushed over his side. Those eyes went through the message slowly, tip of the ring finger brushing against the miniature screen and flicking towards the next part of the message. Then the reaction of what Morgan could only assume was the arse face in question right there and then.

"Realized they neglected to promote you for your valor on Mirial, Rimcee, Thyferra before that. Fixed that. Congratulations, Major Sotari."

Brows furrowed together at that.

There were only a number of people who were capable of fast-tracking a promotion (even if Dante had refused a promotion twice now? Seemed about right). "I assume Starvald knew you were not interested in a promotion... much less two in a row?" Morgan asked confusedly.

 

[Dante Sotari]

"'Realized they neglected' my arse."

Dante focused on the toast, a lot less interested in food than she had been a bit ago. Rethinking adding whiskey to her caf.

"He didn't ask and I didn't mention it," she clarified. "But I know for a fact my files say I declined after Thyferra. And why."

That was the part that made her uncomfortable. Her immediate CO knew, and if Jairus had come in swinging influence it would have been brought to his attention. And the only way it would have happened is if he had insisted anyway.

Dante didn't trust herself to command more than a squad at a time. She knew her strengths in that regard. Small unit tactics she could handle just fine. Of course, it was more than that. She didn't want the responsibility of that many lives on her hands.

She barely wanted the responsibility for more than one other life on her hands.

"So far Starvald hasn't exhibited any particular care about my preferences," she muttered darkly into her caf.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

Morgan frowned.

Pushed around his eggs a little bit as he mulled that little revelations. The Sith Empire was usually better about this- less obvious and in your face about the power a Sith Lord wielded over the regular citizen or even a simple soldier. "Sorry to hear that." Mor finally said, before sighing and leaning back against his seat. Pondering and studying her for a bit.

"Nothing we can do about it?"

He assumed that Dante already had thought of things.

It made little sense to start throwing around suggestions, before finding out what she was thinking specifically. This was her situation after all. That didn't mean that Morgan wasn't considering... his options.

Every single promotion thrown his way had been denied by him.

Maybe it was time to revisit that?

 

[Dante Sotari]

"Well, that was the other message," she grumbled, leaning over to swipe the screen- and then a small pot of jam for her toast on the return.

From their CO- well, her former CO.

~I have been informed that you have changed your mind about the promotions you had previously turned down. I for one am very glad to see that you have finally decided to step up and truly fulfill your duty to the Empire, Major Sotari.~

"What am I going to do?" She asked, spreading jam across the toast in a more angry fashion than toast was typically accustomed. As though the toast itself had offended, or were wearing Starvald's face.

"Tell them 'oh no, the Sith Lord who told you that lied, oh and by the way he and the Dark Lord are buddies but this won't come back to bite us all in the arse later, trust me'?"

She snorted, then bit down on the toast.

"Yeah that'll go over awesome."

She chewed for a moment, then made an irritated noise and dropped the toast back onto the plate, switching back to caf. Another annoyed sound as she got up and headed toward the one cabinet she knew what he kept in there. Yeah, there was nothing else to do but refill the half of the mug she'd already drunk of caf with whiskey.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

It was a complicated situation specifically because of that connection with Zambrano.

Had it been just a separate Sith Lord?

One thing, but Starvald seemed to be operating with the express permission (even encouragement?) of Carnifex. One did not appeal the decision made by the Sith Emperor. That was simply not done and Morgan didn't think even the Thirriken could help them in this regard. Dante and him might work for the Saaraishash more often than not, but they weren't part of the structure. That meant they didn't have the same protection that the Saaraishash agents usually had.

"Not a bit early for that?" Morgan calmly asked while slowly chewing his piece of the toast. Watching her back as she went for the whiskey. It had taken him a while to realize that Dante had a problem and that that problem was problematic for a number of things.

But how do you approach it?

She was a grown-up, no? Should be able to figure it out herself. Except that he cared about her and wanted to help. Just difficult to do so without pushing her away. "Why don't we go out later tonight instead?"

 

[Dante Sotari]

"If you'd just gotten news that the Sith Lord that was treating you like a cup of sugar borrowed from the neighbor had gone over your head, *lied* about it, and put you suddenly in charge of potentially hundreds of lives when you aren't certain you are competent to handle string, you'd have a drink too. I'm already having a hard time coping with this morning- I'm tryin' Mor, but this is new territory for us and I'm not going to pretend it's easy."

All good reasons. Well, the string part was an exaggeration but he knew what she meant. After Thyferra she'd been aggressive in her unwillingness to command a larger team. From an objective standpoint, she'd done well on Thyferra. Their losses could have been far worse, and she'd ordered their pull out rather than staying in a dicey situation. But Dante never wanted to be in that position again.

And here she was.

Because some karking Sith didn't understand personal boundaries.

She poured a generous splash of whiskey into her caf.

"Well, let's do that too." 'Instead' was not in her vocabulary in this case. She spoke carefully, like she wasn't sure how he'd react to her suggestion. "I've got a couple of days, I could request a couple for you. If this is happening, could make the most of it."

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

He didn't argue with her.

It wasn't him in the situation, was it?

So Morgan wouldn't know how he would have dealt with it in her shoes. He didn't have an issue with taking command, the only reason why he had postponed his promotions was because she had postponed hers. It somehow hadn't felt right to leave her and move up the ranks. Even if their CO had been frustrated as feth because of it. Part of Mor felt bad about it. Was it shirking his duty in favor of sticking with someone he loved? Did he even deserve to make that choice?

"Fair enough." His brows were still furrowed, but he let her pour. Nomming the toast a bit more before nodding. "Would be good, yeah, might as well enjoy the time." -the time that they had. Because who knew what was going to happen next?

Pushing himself up off his seat and the trajectory took him to her.

His hands wrapped around her waist and he pulled her in, kissing her softly. "Hey, I know you are doing your best, okay? If I ever push too hard just let me know? I want this to work for the both of us."

 

[Dante Sotari]

He was sweet. Why was he so sweet?

If he'd been a jerk, or selfish, or any other number of qualities she could have, would have, left without a second thought a long time ago. But he was thoughtful, kind, generous, so so careful. Part of the last was because of how she had reacted to any number of things in the past, but that was less a conscious understanding than it could have been. Morgan had walked a fine line, and it had ended him up here.

The question was, was that a good thing?

He seemed to think so.

Dante was still fighting the fight/flight response of getting this close to someone again. She had tried so many times to push him away, but he'd always stayed. And now she'd promised to do her best to stop that. To not deliberately inject that distance between them anymore. She wasn't sure if it was the right choice.

But when his arms went around her, when he supported her, gave her that understanding, it felt like maybe it was.

If she could do the same for him in return.

Could she?

If she couldn't, better to end it hard, without hesitation or waffling. They were here because despite everything, she wanted to be there, and she'd never risked going- pushing yes, but going? No. Because she was selfish maybe. Definitely.

"And if I become too much of a queen, well, you know." She said softly, kissing him back.

"Yeah, I'll put in that call. Um. Long weekend?" They'd never spent that much time together alone, just the two of them. "See.... if this is really what you want? Hey, maybe I'm only fun at parties," she joked. "Might not be able to stand me for more than a couple hours at a time."

There was no defensiveness in the tone, but it was a protection of sorts. Joke about it now so if it was true it was easier to laugh off later.

[member="Morgan Vance"]

 

[Kenth Typho]

[member="Dante Sotari"]

"Oh, I think I have figured out what to do when you are being a queen, Dan." Morgan murmured back to her with a smirk before his hand curled around her cup, pulling it in (and if she let him) taking a sip from it himself. His nose wrinkled a bit at the taste, before giving it back.

"Give me a straight scotch, none of that corellian coffee chit, plz."

The nuzzle he gave her next showed it was a joke, before he leaned down and grabbed himself some orange juice. It was too early for that sort of chit - at least for him - but right now Morgan wasn't going to make an issue out of it. This was new to him, new to her and this was their first day... together. There would more other opportunities to try and talk about it. Later. When all of this wasn't strange, weird and ugh. The next thing she said made him blink.

Then he snorted.

"Don't kid yourself, Sotari, I am only here for your ass, dontcha know?" A wink before he got serious again. "We will figure it out, if we end up needing some me-time, either one of us, we will sort it. That is what we do."

"I gotchu an' you got me."