Whiskey for Two

[Joza Perl]

“I can’t, actually.” Her smirk faded a bit, becoming more lopsided. “I think you were born a devilish rogue, Connor Harrison. I refuse to believe anything else.” With a dramatic sigh, Joza allowed herself to fall back to the ground, curling a tendril of red hair around her finger. When she took care of her hair, the thick red waves looked nice and served as a source of aesthetic pride for the Zeltron. But they were difficult to maintain, and some days she just swept her unruly hair up into a bun.

She exhaled in a noiseless laugh, but her head tilted in appreciation. “I know. I just never liked the term ‘Jedi’ applied to myself. I feel like it carries too much…weight, or something. I prefer Joza Perl…Master…I don’t know, Space Wizard?” Her thoughts spilled out, messy and unorganized, and for that she had to chuckle. He’d already seen her at two very low points, so composure wasn’t her highest priority right now.

Them. Her fingers twined in the fabric tighter and she gnawed at her lower lip. It didn’t feel like she was pregnant, but that was only because she’d just found out and her stomach was still relatively flat. In the coming weeks, she’d certainly feel it a lot more. The lack of control scared her, and she turned her head to face Connor fully, green eyes softening in earnest. “Thank you,” She spoke quietly, letting a few moments of silence fall between them while she gathered her thoughts. “My mother was always alone in raising me. I promised myself that I’d never put myself in her position, but now I guess…I’m not alone as I initially thought.” Her eyes began to glass over, but she held herself back and gave him a grateful smile. “And a Krayt Dragon? Seriously? That’s too dangerous.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor fought that boyish smile after such a compliment and her playful nature. He'd never been anything but a rogue, but one of rules and tradition rather than...anything else.

Watching her become more relaxed, but also more thoughtful, he shuffled over and knelt up, taking her hand for the first time in both of his.

"I may be a fool, but you wanted my help and so I'm giving it to you. I want to help you. You have an entire Order behind you, and you won't be alone during this. Any of it. I assure you that, ok?" He brought up her hand and kissed the knuckles, before patting is reassuringly. "Joza Perl, Space Wizard, will be safe and sound around here."

He sat up beside Joza, absently stoking her hand to make her feel comforted and safe.

"And yes, a Krayt Dragon. Crovus Raaf and I had to deal with on on Tatooine helping out a local Tusken Raider clan. I even rode it through a canyon before I managed to end it swiftly. It wasn't too hard actually, once you know what you're doing and you've got someone watching your back. All in a days work for this rogue."

The boyish smile crept out after that.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

At the feeling of his hands on her own, Joza’s eyes widened a notch but she didn’t interrupt him. This wasn’t the outcome she’d expected—the Zeltron assumed that after being lectured, she’d be shut away somewhere if not expelled from the Order. If not cast out, then she’d be made an example of for what happens when you flirt (literally) too much with the Dark.

But she was still here, and that had to count for something. With the support of Connor and the Order, she could hold her head high and raise her child in the Light. And when his lips brushed her knuckles, Joza found herself blushing despite herself.

Yep, certainly never imagined she’d be here.

“I’m glad, Connor.” Her smile softened as the naturally dark flush of her cheeks faded rapidly. She was a Zeltron for Force’s sake—and yet, her hand tingled pleasantly as the handsome Rogue stroked her hand. She squeezed back in response. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Joza.

A part of her wanted to protest at safe and sound. Joza wasn’t one to hang back or choose safer—and sometimes smarter—options when it came to trouble. Perhaps it was the paternal half of her blood, but she reveled in action, even if it meant being ragdolled at high speeds. Such adrenaline! But, probably not the best with a baby inside her. Reluctantly, she didn’t argue the point and instead turned to a different conversation piece.

“You know, that actually doesn’t sound like a bad time,” Murmuring, she shook her head and cocked a brow at his smile. It seemed to be a good memory. “What was Corvus like?” Her voice was light and inquiring, having been struck by a spark of curiosity. She’d heard many things about the Jedi Master, but never spoke to someone who really seemed to know her.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Her hand stayed in his, and he certainly didn't mind. He felt she had accepted him; she felt he was going to protect her. Fair trade.

The question was asked. Joza was the first to ask Connor about Corvus since leaving. None of the Silvers talked about her, only through memories he shared, and none of the Republic Jedi had contacted him bar her sister. It felt like another lifetime ago when Corvus was in Connor's life. It was a different time indeed; a different chapter. He took a moment to think, his face solemn but not sad. Thoughtful.

"If they ever write a book about a near perfect Jedi, Corvus Raaf would be the one they base it on. She was the most righteous, honest, selfless and compassionate person I ever had the pleasure of knowing. She actually crashed her ship outside the Temple grounds a good...five, six years ago. That's how I met her. We struck off a good friendship from there and numerous times our paths would cross, brought together by Silver and Republic Jedi co-operative missions or sometimes by chance. Or by the Force, as she said."

He swallowed, shifted and continued.

"She was very pretty, but it was a natural look that suited her - plain, no frills and just what you saw was what you got. Goodness knows how many young Jedi she trained during her time, and how many hearts she broke in the process with the idea of love something foreign to her!" He chuckled a little. "That was her downside though. She put her duty before anything else, at least, before it was too late. She knew nothing except the Code, and lived her life by it. She knew little about love, and I think when I first met her she'd never been in a relationship or kissed someone. She wanted nothing except to protect the galaxy and uphold the Jedi way like nothing I've seen before. She would die serving the Jedi and give her life for it in a heartbeat."

Connor wanted to be sure Joza knew how it had ended for them. There was so much to tell, and one day he would continue to drip feed exploits in if the need was there, but as she had asked, it was right she knew everything.

"I don't know how, when or why, but one of the last times I saw her - in fact the second to last time - we were on Naboo and she told me she had fallen in love. Bear in mind this was months after gently rejecting my offer to court her for she knew not about love or how to be around someone she saw as a close friend. I accepted that. It was hard, but it made sense. Anyway, this person she had suddenly fallen for was the physical spirit of a Sith Priestess or something whom we both fought together before in a tomb. Ironic really." He gave a 'never mind' shrug - regardless how much it still ate him up. "We fell out when she told me, as I thought she didn't even grasp love, never mind finding it with a Sith, or reformed Sith, or whatever. From that day my opinon was tainted; I didn't understand her logic and felt her preaching was tainted. So much about the Jedi way and then she claims a Sith stole her heart. I didn't see her much after. I saw her once, in Wild Space, investigating a criminal gang that our Orders sent us out on. We made a fragile peace, and invited me to her farm on Tatooine to meet her and her lover. I accepted."

There was silence all around the pair as he concluded his story.

"I never saw or heard from her again."

Connor chewed his lower lip for a few seconds, and pushed out a smile to end it. It had been the first time since she left he'd talked about her.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Joza’s head tilted towards Connor, eyes on him as he spoke. She took in not only his words, but his body language and the way his feelings radiated from him. Joza had an inkling that they’d been involved to some degree, and it appeared that she’d been correct in that assumption. Zeltron senses? Perhaps.

She shifted on the stone tile as a picture of Corvus formed in her mind from memory and from how Connor described her. Pretty, dark-haired Corvus who taught her and others Soresu in a group lesson. One of the first Jedi Masters the skittish Zeltron had met and looked up to in awe. She hadn’t cared for titles.

Joza’s thumb brushed back and forth along Connor’s hand in a slow rhythm. He spoke fondly of her, and it made the redhead smile for a brief moment, before the mention of a Sith spirit. She said nothing, listening, and squeezed Connor’s hand in her own as the story came to an end.

“That’s certainly more than I had expected. I didn’t realize how close you’d been to her.” Closing her eyes, Joza conjured up the image she’d had of Corvus again. “Like I said, I only met her once. I was a relatively new Padawan, still nervous and homesick. I was in awe when she spoke to me directly—so humble and kind. And eager to teach.” A faint smile tilted her lips as she thought about how silly that sounded.

“It’s sometimes unfortunate that we don’t get to choose who we fall for but it’s just…the way it is.” It was all she could say, earnest but out of place. Like her and Haytham, Connor and Corvus were more complicated than a simple explanation. “I’m sorry that it turned out that way. Feelings suck, huh?” She gave his hand another squeeze, and an encouraging smile. “How are you doing now, Connor?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor didn't even feel Joza's comforting thumb on his hand, he was sort of in a trance. All those memories, faces and events from the past brought to the forefront.

"She thrived on training others. I can guarantee that you would have fueled her with a passion to give you as much knowledge as possible; to make you the future of what she believed in. And although we had a blip, born out of my own childish immaturity, and worry for her of course making a terrible mistake cohabiting with a Sith, we were still friends. Well, I thought we were. She didn't even give me a clue she was going, or she had problems. Hell I don't even know if she's alive."

He scratched his left eye, wincing at the pain with him going in too hard. He was trying to find an itch; a distraction. Looking down, he composed himself for a second, and looked to Joza. She was so much more than what she portrayed on the outside. So much more.

"I'm doing ok Joza, thank you. I'm doing ok." It felt good to give a simple answer. "Thank you."

And the annoying thing out of all of this. Out of all of this conversation and stupid emotion, was that Connor felt he was starting to fall for her. And he hated himself for it.

"If I can ask the question to you, but please, PLEASE do not answer if it's too raw a memory, but how...how did Haytham get a hold on you?"

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

As he went for his eye, Joza’s free hand instinctively moved to shoo him away by the wrist. “Don’t, you’re going to irritate it.” But she pulled away quickly, a sheepish expression creeping across her face. “Sorry. Force of habit.” It occurred to her how much she sounded like her own mother, who would often scold her for picking at scabs or irritated skin as a child. Or any mother, really. She’d acted the same way around Haytham before, when things had been…okay.

She gave him a bright smile when he answered, but it faded rapidly at the mention of him. “I…” She sorted through her memory bank, over her interactions with Haytham over the years. Some were unpleasant, but some were nice and she occasionally found herself falling back onto the rose-tinted memories in hard times.

“We met in a club on Zeltros when we were teenagers. I was a waitress, and he was…mysterious. Handsome. I didn’t know much about the Force then, but I knew that he and I were the same in that respect. He’d traveled all around the Galaxy, something I’d always wanted to do. We hit it off, there was a spark and we acted on that spark. Spent the night together, and he brought me to Sullust to join the Galactic Alliance as I’d wanted. We met again, maybe a few months after that. On…Bakura.” Joza bit her lip, a little harder than she thought she was going to. “It was nice. Passionate. But I’m an anxious person, and I asked him if…if he would kill me if he had to. I don’t know why I said it, but I did and he wasn’t happy. He never told me what it was he did or who he was learning from, so it made me curious. Suspicious.”

She shifted a little, seemingly uncomfortable but the words flowed easily. “I put aside my doubts in favor of him. He made me feel special, like I was more than just a waitress from Zeltros.” An unstable smile twitched her lips. “But I was young. I didn’t know what I wanted, much less what it meant to love or be loved. They say that no one knows love like Zeltrons do, but that’s a lie. Zeltrons know lust, emotional and physical.” Exhaling slowly, she deflated a little and continued. “Anyway, we didn’t see each other for a while after that. I was busy with my studies, and him with Force knows what. But we met up, by chance, on Bespin—in what I just now realize was probably Darth Orcus’ mansion. I…” Her voice faded and she shook her head, eyes cast out towards the flora.

“I had been unfaithful to him. No one specific, but faceless men and women in the backs of clubs and bars. The antithesis of Jedi behavior.” She arched a brow, but continued. “Foolishly, I didn’t think he would mind. I didn’t know what we were, but I found out pretty quickly that the rest of the Galaxy does not treat a romantic relationship like they do on Zeltros. He beat me, and revealed his allegiance to the Dark. And in all of my carelessness and selfishness, I pushed him further down that path.” Her eyes rolled downwards, and shame was evident in them. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget it. Whore.

“And that’s where it all started to go downhill. A friend of mine—Nikias—saw the bruises on my face. To make a long story short, he tracked down Haytham and confronted him…and that started a vicious spat between the two. Even after that happened, I went to Haytham to apologize for Nik’s actions and he...sought to kill him in revenge.” Her teeth grit together, recalling how he’d dangled that information in front of her on his ship. “And he did.” Her voice lowered to a whisper, and in that moment she recalled her dear friend, the man who’d she treated like a brother and how he’d been taken from her.

Clearing her throat, Joza shook her head to rid some of the stray piece of hair from in front of her face. “Then Ruusan happened, with the Gun of Command. And…then Bakura happened again. I couldn’t help myself. I knew that I’d lost him, that I’d failed him but I just wanted to feel loved again even if I didn’t deserve it.”

As she finished. Joza idly licked her lips before exhaling heavily. “That actually didn’t feel too bad. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone all that.”


[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Hand still entwined with hers, Connor didn't look away from her captivating profile once as she spoke.

A number of things were revealed he didn't yet know - Haytham belong to the Alliance before? He beat her?

Beside him, on the ground, Connor started to knead the ground with his fist, slowly grinding and pushing his knuckles into the soft grit and soil. The thought of that...coward...hitting Joza made his blood boil. The pefect poster boy for Sith cowardice; taking a naive and uneducated girl to break in half and bully. This girl didn't deserve that, and it was the first time he hated the thought of her carrying a child. His[/] child. Pleasure and pain. Connor thrived on it - the harsh ground rubbing into his skin on one hand, and the soft touch of the Zeltron on his other.

It was the final part that confirmed that Haytham would one day pay for his crimes. The death of Nikias. Connor audibly let out a sigh when she told him of the poor Jedi's fate. Nikias was one he had known briefly, but had shown super spirit for his duty. When he had left Voss never to return, Connor hoped he had found a happiness off planet somewhere. Now it all but confirmed the opposite.

He pushed hard into the ground but absorbed the pain, not showing a flicker on his face as he squeezed her hand gently, pulling up his other to pretend like nothing happened.

"I'm so sorry. It just confirms what a survivor you are. You're a fighter. You're here. You stood against him and found your way out. You have shown that that Dark does not kill all things beautiful in this world."

This Jedi was fuming. The death of Nikias and the abuse of Joza.

"Please," he said, gently pulling her in for a comforting embrace. A gentle hug to say he was sorry for everything, and a sign she wouldn't face anything like that nightmare again. His eyes burnt out into the Garden with vengeance in his mind, comforted by her hair teasing his face.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Sorry? Survivor? Fighter? Joza blinked, pausing from the brink of tears and emotional exhaustion. No one had ever said anything like that to her, and she didn’t know how to react. “I don’t…I’m not…” Her voice shook despite herself as she scrambled to come up with a way to rebuff his words but came up short. She felt like a failure, going back to him as much as she did. Weak, inept.

She stiffened in his embrace initially, startled and unsure. His reaction was unexpected—where was the I told you so or the You deserved it? Not that she attributed that to Connor himself, but wasn’t that the sort of reaction anyone would have upon hearing how she’d been unfaithful to her lover?

But the hug was gentle, and no uncomfortable embrace or sharp pain followed so she allowed herself to melt into his arms. A hand curled into the fabric of his shirt and she sniffled, resting her head on his shoulder as she felt everything—the ebb and flow of the world around them, the nature, the trickles of sunlight on her hair and the rage inside him. Perhaps unconsciously, her pheromones leaked into the air—it was an attempt to calm him as much it was a natural defense mechanism for herself when distressed. But there was no danger here, and she felt surprisingly cozy and safe right now as she sunk into the reality that he wasn’t angry with her.

“Thank you,” She muttered, muffled against his shoulder. “Connor, I—“ She pulled away, her face a little red and cheeks streaked with tears. “Please, don’t go after him. I can’t lose anyone else.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor knelt on a bended knee and held her. It wasn't what he felt he had to do, it was what he wanted. She had come to him before for guidance, and he gave it. She had suffered at the hands of a Sith and still came back looking for that help, and he was there for her. He had a responsibility as a Master, but he also had a responsibility for her right to be safe.

He brushed her hair gently, and felt her soothing aura comfort his rage. His eyes closed and he relished having someone there to comfort him just as much as he could return the favour. Nobody had asked, nobody had really cared. Joza had. Joza had asked, and she genuinely seemed to care. When she pulled away, his face was cool and collected compared to her tear-streaked features.

"I won't." It was half truth. Half lie. "I have no desire to go hunting for him. Not yet."

Haytham would surface sooner or later. Seeing her so upset and tearful only made his desire to protect her and the child stronger; she didn't deserve this. Nobody deserved this. But she wasn't "nobody". Again, he took her hand and held it up in his before looking at her intently.

"You won't lose me. Come on, you've seen how they've tried to get rid of me but I keep surviving. We're survivors. We're made for this sort of thing."

He put out his index finger and stroked a tear away, drew down to her chin and tipped it up for her to meet his gaze.

"I promise I'll come back in one piece and we'll sort everything out. Ok?"

Connor smiled at her, a warm smile that only meant for her to trust him.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

It was a strange thing, to feel so broken yet uplifted. Joza’s emotions had been running high all day—anxiety, shame, fear, affection—they’d worn her out. And never would she have imagined that she’d find herself in Rogue Connor Harrison’s arms as he touched her gently and spoke to her softly, but she didn’t stop to think too harshly on it. Not right now, at least.

“You’re right. We’re strong. We’re survivors.” She gripped his hand a little tighter, giving him a sad smile through those tears. “But if you don’t come back, I’ll be upset. I want you to meet Baby Perl. He or she is as much my child as his…” Rubbing a hand over her stomach, she smiled nervously. Maybe she was okay with the idea of becoming a mother, when she got past the sheer horror that something was growing inside of her and that she’d actually have to be responsible for it.

At that warm smile, her heart beat a little faster and her brow almost narrowed quizzically. Are heart palpitations a symptom of pregnancy?

Squeezing his hand again, she returned it. “I’m glad you’re here, Connor.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The Rogue Master recoiled in amused shock.

"If I don't come back, you'll be upset? Just upset? Joza Perl, I expect a full planet lock down in my memory and galactic day of mourning if I don't come back. Connor Harrison Day. I like the sound of that."

With a silly chuckle, he returned her squeeze and placed an arm around her to rub her shoulder gently.

"Baby Perl. That's cute. And I'm glad I'm here too. I'm not going anywhere - which means you're stuck with me."

The two were now facing into the garden; the large marble arch creeping with vines, the babbling brook with no solid bank, fauna, plants, trees and rocks. It was wonderfully peaceful.

Unlike the chaos that would be unfurling in the Order's far space in the days to follow.

[member="Joza Perl"]