Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos
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Takes out the Alt list -- Writer Critique
- Thread starter Cira
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- danger arceneau writer
Raziel
Dark Jedi Spymaster
Aright, if I was to write a serious critique, I'd simply echo this!Valiens Nantaris said:[member="Cira"]
I feel your only real flaw as a writer is that you are easily distracted, meaning that you get bursts of inspiration, then leave that alt to go and post elsewhere, only eventually coming back.
So your writing is always of good quality and most of your alts are really unique and characterful, but I think you probably should work on how many RPs you start at once.
Danger Arceneau
The Widow
I just get easily excited for roleplay!Raziel said:
And what's wrong with Danger gifs?!
Cryax Bane
Red-eyed Snake
[member="Danger Arceneau"] Since you said to poke you...This is me poking you to respond to your meeting thread with Cryax
Although we've talked OOC, I have yet to actually thread with your characters, but from what I've read of your writing, they are all top-notch. I especially like Danger, who my character doesn't trust as far as he can throw. (Which isn't very far).
I feel like I should come back and give you proper feedback once I've threaded with you more.
Although we've talked OOC, I have yet to actually thread with your characters, but from what I've read of your writing, they are all top-notch. I especially like Danger, who my character doesn't trust as far as he can throw. (Which isn't very far).
I feel like I should come back and give you proper feedback once I've threaded with you more.
nihil
I just wish [member="Darth Isolda"] would like Rev
In all seriousness, I think you spread yourself thin. Ever since I got here and saw a couple of your posts as Cordelia, I thought to myself how inspired the writing was...the brevity of it, yet the picture painted. But I think, with all your alts, it gives me the sense of you running around like a chicken with your head cut off. So...what Val said.
In all seriousness, I think you spread yourself thin. Ever since I got here and saw a couple of your posts as Cordelia, I thought to myself how inspired the writing was...the brevity of it, yet the picture painted. But I think, with all your alts, it gives me the sense of you running around like a chicken with your head cut off. So...what Val said.
Chosen Of Vahl
Cordelia is a fun one to write... She's just so intriguing to me. Thank you for the compliment.Reverance said:I just wish [member="Darth Isolda"] would like Rev
In all seriousness, I think you spread yourself thin. Ever since I got here and saw a couple of your posts as Cordelia, I thought to myself how inspired the writing was...the brevity of it, yet the picture painted. But I think, with all your alts, it gives me the sense of you running around like a chicken with your head cut off. So...what Val said.
But I am trying to focus on a few only.
Jsc
Disney's Princess
If we never talk, it's only because I have no advice to give, no comment to add, and no amount of imagination that even compares to yours. I've never written a guide you needed to read, never had a rant you needed to hear, and never been in anything but awe for the shear amount of creative talent you have.
I've never wanted to be anyone else but me. But? I've always wanted to borrow your brain for a day. The world would be so much cooler.
Thanks for always being an inspiration.
I've never wanted to be anyone else but me. But? I've always wanted to borrow your brain for a day. The world would be so much cooler.
Thanks for always being an inspiration.
Kira Talith
Kinetic Communication at its finest my Chick-e-dee
Jay Scott Clark said:If we never talk, it's only because I have no advice to give, no comment to add, and no amount of imagination that even compares to yours. I've never written a guide you needed to read, never had a rant you needed to hear, and never been in anything but awe for the shear amount of creative talent you have.
I've never wanted to be anyone else but me. But? I've always wanted to borrow your brain for a day. The world would be so much cooler.
Thanks for always being an inspiration.
Thank you very much!
Danger Arceneau
The Widow
Cryax Bane said:[member="Danger Arceneau"] Since you said to poke you...This is me poking you to respond to your meeting thread with Cryax
Although we've talked OOC, I have yet to actually thread with your characters, but from what I've read of your writing, they are all top-notch. I especially like Danger, who my character doesn't trust as far as he can throw. (Which isn't very far).
I feel like I should come back and give you proper feedback once I've threaded with you more.
Please keep poking me! the invasions have made things get a bit hectic but i will post this weekend!
Thank you very much about Danger
She is one of my favs, especially since she got to where she is without the Force.
Sabena Shai
Character
I haven't really roleplayed with Isolda as much as I'd like. With any of my characters.
brb while I think of a new character idea to fix that (you might like this one).
brb while I think of a new character idea to fix that (you might like this one).
Chosen Of Vahl
Sabena Shai said:
Really?
You rp'd her master
But now you have me really intrigued.
Laith Varad*
Active Member
Great rp'er. I'm drunk right now so I don't have a lot of comments.
Choe Blake. Great char.
Wish I had more threads with you!
Choe Blake. Great char.
Wish I had more threads with you!
Warden of the Sky
Ermac Laith said:
Thank you so much! XD
D O M I N U S
I think, therefore I am...
...a [member="Cira"] alt.
...a [member="Cira"] alt.
Cira
Best Onion
Lol
The Wolf
I feel as though that having so many alts limits the directions in which you can take your characters, simply because of time.
In Umbris Potestas Est
[member="Cira"]
Only criticism at the moment is that we've never had a thread between Cira and Enigma. >_>
Only criticism at the moment is that we've never had a thread between Cira and Enigma. >_>
Cira
Best Onion
Enigma said:
Lol. I'm very much surprised by this desire honestly. Well I mean, cira specifically. What with their history.
Though to be frank, Cira isn't in any fashion fit to interact with anyone right now other than [member="Sarge Potteiger"] and I think now that he has her, he's not gonna let her go out of his sight for the present time.
Guy has been through the Nine Hells and back to get her.
Sarge Potteiger
Emotional Damage
Two years of writing, give or take the however many months you were gone.
Two years OOC, and I think I've gone with about ten IC.
That's how long Sarge and Cira have known each other for me. Why ten? Well, that's simple. The huge amount of skill he's built up, plus his rise through the ranks and - most importantly - the changes he's gone through necessitated a longer timeframe than 'two years.'
And really, I wasn't aware how much [member="Cira"] had changed both herself and him over all this time. Going back and looking at what went down and how they acted, it's almost funny how much they've become alike. In a way, they've almost met in the middle. The first time they met, Cira was so frigid she'd put Hoth to shame. She was pure business, no-nonsense, utterly devoid of any discernible emotion beyond 'get the job done.'
For her, that job was running her company to the best of her ability.
For Sarge, his job was watching her. For his part, he started out a cocky, brash little shite. Immature, somewhat experienced, but overall just a kid.
And then they kind of just... fell together over time. She at her extreme of pure business and he at his of ingratiating himself through annoyance. It worked, though, so I'll give it that.
I've enjoyed watching her go from 'please get this idiot out of my office' to 'what would I do without him there behind me?' Because he's always been right there for her, in some manner or another. Hell, even when he resigned he went to Dagobah to save her people. It wouldn't be a stretch to say he helped build her dreams with his two hands, and although she never really showed it overtly.... her growth as a character more than made up for that.
Because eventually she sort of grew to like having him around, and she seemed genuinely hurt when he came back to her on Eriadu after having been dead. Like his death was a personal affront to her. She'd never admit to it, and I'm heavily reading between the lines on that, but in her own way I think that's an apt descriptor. She's gone from wanting him out of her life to being unsure what would happen were he to leave.
It's been a hell of a ride seeing her change ever so subtly, and her influence on Sarge has been even more profound. Nox had it pegged when he said;
Because she did. She screwed him over bad. But really? He'd have it no other way.
Now, post.
Two years OOC, and I think I've gone with about ten IC.
That's how long Sarge and Cira have known each other for me. Why ten? Well, that's simple. The huge amount of skill he's built up, plus his rise through the ranks and - most importantly - the changes he's gone through necessitated a longer timeframe than 'two years.'
And really, I wasn't aware how much [member="Cira"] had changed both herself and him over all this time. Going back and looking at what went down and how they acted, it's almost funny how much they've become alike. In a way, they've almost met in the middle. The first time they met, Cira was so frigid she'd put Hoth to shame. She was pure business, no-nonsense, utterly devoid of any discernible emotion beyond 'get the job done.'
For her, that job was running her company to the best of her ability.
For Sarge, his job was watching her. For his part, he started out a cocky, brash little shite. Immature, somewhat experienced, but overall just a kid.
And then they kind of just... fell together over time. She at her extreme of pure business and he at his of ingratiating himself through annoyance. It worked, though, so I'll give it that.
I've enjoyed watching her go from 'please get this idiot out of my office' to 'what would I do without him there behind me?' Because he's always been right there for her, in some manner or another. Hell, even when he resigned he went to Dagobah to save her people. It wouldn't be a stretch to say he helped build her dreams with his two hands, and although she never really showed it overtly.... her growth as a character more than made up for that.
Because eventually she sort of grew to like having him around, and she seemed genuinely hurt when he came back to her on Eriadu after having been dead. Like his death was a personal affront to her. She'd never admit to it, and I'm heavily reading between the lines on that, but in her own way I think that's an apt descriptor. She's gone from wanting him out of her life to being unsure what would happen were he to leave.
It's been a hell of a ride seeing her change ever so subtly, and her influence on Sarge has been even more profound. Nox had it pegged when he said;
Because she did. She screwed him over bad. But really? He'd have it no other way.
Now, post.
Cira
Best Onion
[member="Sarge Potteiger"]
Yeah.. it is amazing how in the span of Sarge's and Cira's story things have changed. Where they started to where they are now.
Certainly something i never considered actually happening, and in hindsight, kinda makes one laugh because it gets to the point of... "How could it not have happened?"
Guess only time will tell once we finish our RP on what will happen next!
Yeah.. it is amazing how in the span of Sarge's and Cira's story things have changed. Where they started to where they are now.
Certainly something i never considered actually happening, and in hindsight, kinda makes one laugh because it gets to the point of... "How could it not have happened?"
Guess only time will tell once we finish our RP on what will happen next!