Tell Me I'm Pretty

[Kay-Larr]

[member="James Justice"]

*folds her arms across her chest*

And you know that I'm too stubborn to back down from you.

 

[Joza Perl]

I apologize in advance for all of the quotes and tags some of you are probably getting

Thank you to those who called me pretty; your comments/critiques are greatly appreciated and have been taken to heart. To those of you who didn’t call me pretty, your comments will subsequently be ignored. Seriously though, thank you everyone for taking the time to share your thoughts. I really appreciate seeing what you all have to say!

No but seriously love your character, for me just the right mix of sass and heart. She is a serious character who is great at comic relief or serious stuff. The only issue I have is the lack of zethron hotties she has sent my way, but I'm sure we can fix that I'm future posts.

I’m glad to hear that you like silly Joza! I try not to take her too seriously, especially in threads that are meant to be more adventurous and less heavy. But I’m also glad that you think she can play a serious role as well. Regardless, I try to keep things feeling natural with her…and I’ll hook you up with a few of my friends soon Might I suggest the lovely Zeltron @Elena?

She's really well-fleshed out with an interesting and complex personality, and even with her at Master rank she makes mistakes and gets confused, so she's realistic too.

Real. Wonderful amount of humanity to her behind the facade of her Zeltron sass. Like a flower; when it blooms, there's beauty on the inside as powerful as what's outside and that's what's exciting to try and discover when interacting with her because there's lots more to her than just what we see and oogle.

Injecting realism into a character is always a must for me. Maybe that’s also a roadblock in a way—that I don’t like touching upon anything more out-of-this-world in personality—but it’s something that’s important to me and makes me happy to hear that others feel this way. I’ve put a lot of work into her reactions and decisions to try and give them an organic feel.

-if I had one thing to say, it's that all her important storylines seem to have been brought about by or revolve around romance/sex, which is completely fine but is getting predictable. Obviously though, surprising your readers isn't the main goal here until you turn her story into a novel, and I know she's a Zeltron and such, so you do you.

-Agreed with Aria Vale, her key storylines mostly include romance. Romance is a good thing, sure but it makes Joza dependent in my opinion especially since her most important storylines involves one another person she is romantically involved with, and they revolve around intimacy/romance mostly. Joza needs to get out of the "Zeltron you can sleep with, and/or always depends on what you think" status.

This is something that I’ve thought about and wondered if I was just being paranoid—but hearing it from two separate people (as well as a few others that have touched on it) confirms that I’m not just being crazy and that it’s something that others are seeing as well! Most of Joza’s romantic entanglements eventually go sour or are simple one-night stands. One of Joza’s driving forces behind her character is her on/off relationship with Sith Lord [member="Haytham Kaze"]. It started off as a typical romance when they were younger, but quickly became complicated and violent at times due to conflicting alignments, feelings and morals.

One of Joza’s fatal flaws is that she has trouble letting people go once she’s attached. Haytham was her first love, and consequently her first link to the outside Galaxy given that she’d spent her entire life on Zeltros. Despite the fact that he’s technically her enemy, she went back to him time and time again to feel loved and wanted—and in the end, that bit her in the butt. Her emotional dependency on others to give her worth is an aspect that I’ve always loved playing, and is something that I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to grow out of. Her self-esteem issues were exacerbated by her time as a slave, which I admittedly could have put more work towards portraying, especially where the fallout is concerned. But she’s always had that undertow of “Is this really what I want/who I am?” that she’s tapped into before to give herself strength, and I’d like to think that she’s been gradually finding her way out of the pit of self-despair and growing into her role as a protector.

Yeesh. I’m making her sound like a broken flower who needs to be saved. In going forward, I think that motherhood will certainly change her. She’d realize that she can’t go run around and test her limits with the Dark Side/Sith as she used to, and put her focus into doing what’s best for the child. I don’t want to say that I’m going to use her baby as a plot device to responsible her up a bit, but that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Confused. I hope she finds a path going forward. Again, this is probably part of your plan, but I have see Joza tip to the Dark with lots of dark friends and liasons with Sith. I've also seen her tip to the Light with lightside allies, and even those in between. It can be wary when it's unclear where Joza stands in the greater scheme of things and if you think she's one thing...boom...she'll flit to be the other. As I say, it's not a criticism, it may be part of her overall mystery (as said above) but if not, I'd love to see her focused in one direction at a time rather than many directions at many times that includes her sleeping with all men and women to get somewhere.

Another of Joza’s big flaws is her indecision. Given that she’s now a Master, I’d imagine that she has some important decisions to make in regards to alignment and who is her enemy. Problem is, she often tries to see all sides to every situation and sometimes tries too hard to please everyone and be everyone’s friend. That sort of thing won’t be feasible for long, and I can see her either having to make some hard choices or self-destructing in some way.

Giving Joza a solid alignment is something I’ve been struggling with ever since her first slavery story arc. Part of me doesn’t want to give her one, to have her waver between dark and light and deal with the consequences because I think it would be neat, but it could also end very poorly. She is staunchly against Sith and slavery though, so she’s got that going for her I guess?

 

[Darth Carnifex]

She is staunchly against Sith

>;0

 

[Joza Perl]

gud

Screenshotting this because I'm sure it's the only time you'll ever say something nice about me

One word, and I quote.

"Ew."

Aww, I thought that Three and I were good? SJ is the one I have beef with!

Damaged. Good and bad; good for the drama and complexity it gives her and defines her path, and bad because at times I worry she's been damaged TOO much at times it's restricting her. I may be wrong, and maybe that's the tragedy of her; she's broken beyond repair?

I, for one, think that she is not too damaged. She is a survivor. She has lived many bad things, sure. But it developed her into who she is now, she is Joza Perl, the saviour of many slaves, and a Jedi Master. She is not the same scared, damaged girl from before. She just needs to develop a stronger sense of self respect for herself and recognize the strength she has in herself. She needs to take control of her life, and not let anyone tell her who she needs to become or what she needs to do.

Ahh, damaged. One of my favorite aspects to deal with. I agree largely with what Nima has to say on that—she’s been through quite a bit but has drawn strength from her experiences and grown a thicker skin. At the same time, there are some scars that won’t every go away and she’s quietly accepted what has been done to her. She’ll always have inklings of doubt where her self-worth is concerned regardless of how much she heals. While this is an exploitable part of her character, it would only really get to her if someone close tried to use it against her.

What I'd like to see:

1) Possibly a little more emotional connection.Maybe its just me, but does Joza have anyone she considers family?People she considers as more than just "friends with benefits"? For James thats' Lady Kay, Ryn'Dhal, and his daughters (obviously).Making that dynamic lets us see a new side of the character and opens up a world of opportunity that'd be great to see with Joza.

2) More "G" in GOTE.I love romance threads as much as anyone (points to James' string of romantic associates), and you do great on them. And I 100% get #ZeltronLyfe bby.But maybe consider giving her a few more Goals for her?

3) Romance James, you will never be complete until you romance James

Actually, Joza used to be really close with a character called Nikias. They were like siblings, then he died. And she doesn’t have too many FWB (only like one or two are still here on Chaos) but I would like for her to have more platonic relationships. Joza and Nikias loved each other fiercely, but it was a familial love and sadly I haven’t been able to recreate anything like that with another character. She is developing different types of relationships with a few other characters—[member="Alkor Centaris"] comes to mind (her surprise husband who she barely knows). Though, forming platonic relationships is a bit tricky when people see you mainly as a sexual conquest.

What’s all this I keep hearing about romance? It’s sex, people! Get it right!

I’d like to think that I’ve done a pretty good job of defining her goals actually—but please let me know if you don’t feel the same way! She’s a pretty hard-line abolitionist, and more than a few of her threads deal with her freeing slaves or kicking slaver teeth in. I’ve been working her towards doing more to rehabilitate slaves after they’ve been liberated as well, given that she knows what life is like after slavery. And she’s got Heartbeat House to deal with. I’m not going to say that I’m going to give her any more goals right now simply because I don’t want to force it. I’d much rather have her goals grow organically from the story.

And in your dreams, old man Weren’t you just telling me to ease up on the romance?

As surely as I have limitations as a writer, you do too. (e.g. I tend not to give characters any more trouble than absolutely necessary, and I also tend to write about the more mundane activities that go into my characters' actions) One last thing: are there things you know you cannot write about? (Therapy is one of my many kryptonites as a writer, I realized that the hard way)

I love trying new character concepts, but I’ve also got my comfort zone. In regards to trouble, I absolutely love creating tough situations for my characters. If I didn’t, Joza wouldn’t be married to a Dark Jedi Mando she barely knows and pregnant with her on/off Sith Lord lover’s child. As for things I can’t write about, I certainly can’t do ships/flying/fleeting of any kind. I also don’t have solid knowledge of Star Wars lore, so there’s a lot that I want to try (mostly Sith stuff) that I just don’t have a good grasp of yet.

Mundane, every-day life situations are something I absolutely love slipping into roleplay, especially in serious situations. I’ve had Joza encounter people in her studio after she got finished buying groceries, and I’ve had her putting on eyeliner before battle. She’s had bad hair days that put her in a sour mood, and she bickers like a child sometimes with her snarky pilot. Little things that make the roleplay seem more like real life.

On a more serious note there for awhile I was considered and in a little worried that Joza was never going to stabilize from the always on the move chaos that was her late Padawan/Early Knight days. Now it seems like she has finally put down roots, has a successful business, and is now starting a family.

Yup, decided to make her less of a brat. Well, she' still a brat. She's just got other things to do now

 

[Nami Perl]

Joza: Tell me I am pretty
Nami: My sister is very pretty
*takes credits from [member="Connor Harrison"] to make Joza happy*

 

[James Justice]

Weren’t you just telling me to ease up on the romance?

That would be after............

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Joza Perl"]


Joza is very pretty and has a lovely bosom. Err...wait, this is supposed to be a serious review.


Anyhow, [member="Nima Tann"] has pretty much summed up my opinion re IC. On an ooc level, you're pleasant to write with, can separate IC from OOC and don't take offence when someone says they disagree with your character's actions or someone criticises her IC. You're fun to talk and write with.


I think Joza has potential for growth. I've written damaged chars and I don't see her as 'too damaged' or a weak flower who needs someone to save her and hold her hand. She's made a number of bad decisions that came to bite her in the butt, she's scarred and has her issues, such as her dependency on others and difficulty letting go, but at the same time she's still taking a stand, fighting slavers and running her own company. Besides, scars build character. One grows best through adversity.


So what she needs is a better sense of self-respect and to acquire more control over her fate. Per our discussions, this is something you intend to work on anyway. I don't think using her child as a 'plot device' in that regard is a bad thing, as long as it doesn't become a crutch.


Speaking from experience, Siobhan used to be rather irresponsible. Her issues were different, since she always hated and fought Sith. But she kept going off to crusade and would've probably death charged herself into an early grave. In a way, she was very selfish, in that regard. Adopting [member="Galina Kerrigan-Alcori"] was one of the things that made her settle down, become a more responsible and probably likeable person.


As for alignment, to be honest I find the Jedi-Sith dichotomy quite dull, which is probably why most of my characters fall into a grey zone. Given her views and development, I think it would be off if she suddenly mutated into a 'pure' Jedi, for instance (and Sith would be silly). I do agree that her desire to understand every side can and probably will lead to conflict, but that's not a bad thing. It makes characters grow.

She is staunchly against Sith and slavery though, so she’s got that going for her I guess?

To be honest, that suffices to me. She's not an evil maniac, she's not a dyed in the wool Jedi who swallowed the party brochure, she's a woman who made some bad choices in the past and experienced bad things, but wants to do good, fight bad guys and raise her kid.

 

[Nate Phantoms]

[member="Joza Perl"]

I've been holding in my real feelings for about three months now. Damn it feels good to get it out. Okay, I'm gonna be straight with ya; your one of my idols, I mean, if Nate was a woman, she'd be a mirror image of you. Just the way you hold yourself and write is amazing, and its just extremely hilarious when you get that sass about you, and throw out that witty remark. I've been told once or twice that I'm w good author, but God damn you make my stuff look like childsplay.

All in all, you're a great writer, and you character shows the devotion you have to quality posts.

 

[Judah Lesan]

[member="Joza Perl"]

I LOVE TBIS CHARACTER!!

I will be the first to say that romance plots can be awesome, and you have one that is for the ages. The on again off again thing works well, and I love your reasons behind it all. I also love you are doing this with a PC instead of an NPC like I have been doing. Your story is compelling. And you manage to have fun while staying true to the species you play. You're also fun to write with ooc!

 

[John Shepherd]

[member="Joza Perl"]

What if I don't say your pretty?

----------------------------------------------------

From what I've seen from your writing (Which isn't a lot because, Hey I'm new) it looks like you put a lot of time and thought into every post you do with a forward progressive thought process to get the point you want your character to get across is.

 

[Sor-Jan Xantha]

Aww, I thought that Three and I were good? SJ is the one I have beef with!

You're a GIRL.

The Jedi may have ceasefire agreements with the Sith, but there are no such agreements between boys and the forces of evil.

 

[Bryce Bantam]

Might I suggest the lovely Zeltron @Elena?

[member="Joza Perl"] I'm afraid she is to much woman for me, and wait, don't you have like 50 sisters or something?

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

You're a GIRL.

The Jedi may have ceasefire agreements with the Sith, but there are no such agreements between boys and the forces of evil.

This comment wins the Internet.

 

[Sal Katarn]

Pissed because she isn't ride or die for [member="Haytham Kaze"].

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

To be honest, that suffices to me. She's not an evil maniac, she's not a dyed in the wool Jedi who swallowed the party brochure, she's a woman who made some bad choices in the past and experienced bad things, but wants to do good, fight bad guys and raise her kid.

Nail on the friggin head. How is it that you’ve managed to put my own thoughts down so eloquently?

But yes, she’d developed into someone who is wary of codes and chooses to follow her own moral compass which of course may not be in alignment with many others. I wasn’t lying when I called her a dancing idiot with Force powers! I don’t think I’d be able to see her choosing strictly Jedi or Sith for her own path now. She used to be a good little Padawan, but then 9 OOC months of roleplay happened (and probably some other stuff too).

[member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"] and [member="Quint Salis"]

Thanks guys! I’m glad to hear it, and Nate is over here making me blush. You’re a talented writer man, but the best (and admittedly cliché) way to improve yourself is always to keep on experimenting with your writing and to write with as many different people as possible. All in all, you two are giving me a big head

[member="John Shepherd"]
Then we can’t be friends And thank you! Hope to write with you at some point!

[member="Bryce Bantam"]
I’ve got a cousin and a half-sister floating around. Touch them without my approval and suffer the consequences

[member="Sal Katarn"]
Didn’t you almost sleep with her tho

 

[Ben Carlin]

[member="Joza Perl"]

After reading more of your posts and getting a better concept on how your write I retract my statement on not calling you pretty, your not, your god damn gorgeous.

 

[Ryn'Dhal]

but I would like for her to have more platonic relationships.

I volunteer as tribute? =^-^=