The Force of Fear

[Hadrian Bjormund]

"Well done but still juicy. You always ask the most of me, Kay." Mac laughed again as he turned the steaks over with his tongs. A wonderful aroma of spices wafted up off the stove as the juicy steaks sizzled. What a beautiful sight.

"Sounds like an adventure to me." Mac turned to and looked at [member="Lady Kay"]. The meal was to celebrate their freedom, but he wondered how free she really was. "When was the last time you went on an adventure Lady Kay? I can't imagine what it must be like to be cooped up in an office or having to prance around in fancy attire every time you go outside. Having guards around you 24/7. If I didn't know any better, I must just call you a slave myself." Mac decided that the steaks were ready and took them off the stove, placing them on plates that Kay had laid out.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay prepared the tea leaves, crumpling them into the cups while the water boiled. She prepared two cups, just in case [member="Macoda Haberon"] wanted one as well. There were other drinks to have too; water, blue milk, brandy, whiskey. She smirked at Mac's remark on the steaks. "The most? Nah, I only ask for the best."

She poured the water into the cups and carried them over to a small table, placing them on either side while she listened to Mac's point of view on her current position in society. In a way he was right. Kay picked up their utensils and set them beside the plates, all the while thinking of how to answer him before she sat down. "I don't know when I last went out to be adventurous. I go for speederbike rides through the canyons at times, although I always have guards with me. The Sith captured me there. Trouble finds me everywhere. Veiere and Darlyn want to keep me safe. What would happen to Commenor if I died? I haven't prepared plans for everyone yet as to who would take my place....I don't think that I'm a slave, as I'm not being oppressed. I am free to make my own choices.."

She had a sip of her tea and then cut into a steak. It was at the perfect temperature. Kay cut a small piece and ate it before speaking once again. "Delicious, Mac. Thank you."

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac smiled at [member="Lady Kay"]'s compliment. He wasn't necessarily a good cook, or at least he didn't consider himself one. Perhaps he was just used to cooking for himself while on the road. Mac picked up his utensils and carved out a rather large piece of steak which he chewed and swallowed. It was mouth watering, and exactly what Mac needed after a fight. Still, the awe-inspiring steak only distracted Mac for a second as he looked across the table towards Kay, listening to her denial. Her explanation only confirmed his suspicions.

"You don't have to be oppressed to be a slave, Kay. I should know of all people. But whether you like it or not, your royalty shackles you." He pointed at her with his fork. "Slavery is not about poor living conditions or low social status. It's about freedom." Mac paused before he continued. "Darlyn and Veiere want to shelter you. The guards want to keep you safe. The people want you to do their bidding along with everyone else who has a penny to their name. I want to know what Kay wants. What do you fight for?"

The truth was that Mac couldn't care less about fancy titles or important last names or anything like that. He wasn't loyal to Commenor nor any vague sense of justice or truth or whatever the Jedi try and preach. From what he's seen, the Commenori are no different from any other well off society. No, he was loyal to individuals and Kay was his friend.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay ate more of her steak while [member="Macoda Haberon"] spoke, yet her movements were slow as she was listening to him and thinking about what he was saying. Again, a good portion of what he said was correct, from a certain point of view. But was her point of view the wrong one? Was she really shackled down? She felt as though she was free. It was just that she didn't do anything by herself besides sleeping. That will surely change when she's married, but still, most of her time alone was spent curled up with some tea and a mystery holo-novel.

Mac's questions on what she wanted and fought for gave her pause. World peace. That famous two words usually spouted by beauty pageant nominees was a part of it. But even that wasn't focused on herself so much as it was focused on others.

"I guess that I always helped and free people because I wanted to enrich their lives. I don't care if I take the fall for it either. I just want it all to work out right." Was that answer good enough? Or did she still sound like a politician? Only Mac would be able to tell her.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac frowned. He was disappointed, maybe even a little disgusted, by [member="Lady Kay"]'s answer and his face surely showed it. And here Mac thought that they were making some progress, only to have her lie to him. How could she not be lying to Mac? World peace? Fighting to save others and "enrich their lives"? What a load of shit. Surely she couldn't be as naive as that. Perhaps that Jedi fiance has been rubbing off on her. Only a fool wastes their time fighting for an impossible cause, and it takes an even bigger fool to think that they can actually fix the galaxy's problems. Kay's answer was the same one he had heard a thousand times and a thousand times it didn't come true.

Mac had her pegged down as smarter than that. Nobody fights for world peace. People fight for themselves or for money or for their loved ones or for their community or for revenge or for glory. Fighting is personal, willpower is selfish, and those who say otherwise are kidding themselves. But here Kay is, the white knight, trying to tell that him that world peace is supposedly in her very core. That the goal of universal peace was who she was, what keeps her up at night, what pushes her to do things that no one else would even dare? Mac wasn't buying any of it. Either she was lying to him, or she was in denial. He couldn't think of which was worse.

Mac sat his utensils down and stopped eating. He looked at Kay with a small scowl on his face. He shook his head, "If you have to say 'I guess' at the beginning, then its not what you really fight for."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay was in mid chew of another bite of her steak when she saw [member="Macoda Haberon"] frown after she had given her answer. She stared in silence, slowly chewing her food as he didn't speak either. It made her uncomfortable.

She shifted in her seat, swallowing her bite as Mac set his utensils down and scowled at her. It was almost as though he hated her. Their cheery dispositions from moments earlier had now disappeared. Kay could feel the shift in the air, as though gravity had increased in the spot where she sat. "I...I don't know Mac. I'm a survivor, I always have been. I do what I can to ensure that I continue to do so, but without...without--" She put down her own utensils and got to her feet, excusing herself from the table before heading over to one of the windows. She was at a loss over what to say, even with what to think. Kay couldn't finish what she was saying because what used to be was no longer true. She killed the Elders as she was ordered to in order to claim the throne. They didn't fight back, they just let it happen. Regardless, she wasn't a good person anymore. She didn't know what she was. She had killed to gain a higher position. It was a ruthless move.

"Bad things happen to good people. If I can fix that, then it can help me to feel better about myself. I was laughed at in the Senate and by the Cartel for my slave rescue missions, all of them believing that it was a waste as I could never end slavery. But to those people that I rescued, slavery was over for them. The Galaxy wasn't such a dark place anymore." Kay folded her arms across her chest and swallowed down a lump in her throat. She had to contain her emotions. There was no need for her to let her tears flow in front of him. That was better done when she was alone.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

As [member="Lady Kay"] excused herself from the table, Mac realized that he had been too harsh on her. He scooted his chair back and stood up from the table as Kay went over to reflect in the window. From what Kay was saying, it sounded like that she wasn't fighting for world peace but rather for redemption. Mac found that to be more believable, but redemption from what? He followed her to the window and gently placed a hand on her shoulder like he did on the Free Lady when he urged her to go back to the cockpit.

Mac could tell that Lady Kay was clearly upset. But was she upset with him or with herself? Mac tried his best to comfort her. "Hey hey Kay. Listen to me alright? The world isn't split into good people and bad people. We all have a little bit of both inside." Mac turned her around and look into her eyes. "Now I wasn't here when you escaped from the Sith, I don't know what happened there. But I do know that you're someone who is forth fighting for." Mac had fought for a lot of things, for money, for freedom, for revenge, but now he was fighting for Kay.

Mac's thoughts went back to what Kay was saying earlier. She was a survivor, but without what? "Is something wrong Kay?"

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay closed her eyes for a moment as [member="Macoda Haberon"] placed his hand on her shoulder. She had heard his chair move earlier, but for all she knew, he could have been walking out.

We all have a little bit of both. It was true. She had always found the good in others, just as she had found the good in Mac and in Darlyn. But through her captivity, she was shown that that was a weakness, was told how vulnerable it made her. Maybe that was why she always found trouble?

It was easier to reflect on others than it was to reflect on herself. Kay hated talking about herself, or answering questions about herself when she didn't know the answers. She used her duties to hide from the circumstances that led to her gaining the crown. That's what she was good at; hiding and running away.

Kay opened her eyes as Mac turned her around and looked up to meet his. "If people knew what I did, if Veiere knew, I'd be locked in a cell or executed and certainly not getting married. It's an unforgiveable crime to Commenor. I became the kind of politician that everyone hates. So I hate myself for not being strong enough to prevent it. Others view me as weak and frail too. That's why I'm always guarded. They have no faith in me being able to protect myself."

She shook her head a little. "We should go back to our steaks before they get cold."

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

"Kay I have done some terrible things too. Hell, if anyone should be locked up and executed it should be me." Mac laughed, he wasn't sure what Kay did, but surely it couldn't have been that bad. "If Veiere wanted to execute you if he ever found out, then you shouldn't be marrying him. Now I know little about love, but if his love for you can be defeated by your past actions, then it wasn't very strong to begin with. Besides, if anyone wanted to execute you, then they'd have to get through me first."

Mac grinned, completely serious about that last part. He put his arm around Kay and lead her back to the table. Once seated, he took another bite of his steak and looked across the table. Mac certainly didn't loose his appetite but [member="Lady Kay"] might have. Concerned, Mac asked, "Do you want to talk about what you did? I won't tell anyone. I'm loyal to you after all, not Commenor."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay smiled a little as [member="Macoda Haberon"] tried to lighten her mood with his laughter. In some places, he probably would be executed or at least arrested for his crimes on Commenor, but she wouldn't allow it. She forgave him and sought the root cause of why he did what he did.

So why couldn't she do the same for herself?

On the topic of Veiere and his love for her, she had to interject. "Veiere wouldn't have me executed, but others would, the Loyalists. Veiere would be greatly disappointed and that could be enough to change his mind. He's devoted to me as I am to him, I just couldn't bear to see the look on his face if he ever found out. He'd never see me in the same way again." Whenever people found out her secrets, like about being a Force user and such, they always got angry. This would be worse.

She let Mac lead her back to the table, where she sat back down and had a sip of her tea before cutting into her steak as well. She might not be as hungry, but she needed to eat. Kay looked over to him as he asked for her to reveal her secret. "I don't think that I can. I don't want you to be disappointed, or to have fear of me." It involved the Force and she knew of his distrust for it. They broke a barrier today of him allowing her to heal him. The last thing that she wanted was for him to lose his trust in her.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac couldn't help but chuckle at Kay's reasoning for keeping her secret to herself. "Disappointed?? I'm not some estranged father or self-righteous Jedi, Kay." Mac continued to laugh, but he decided not to press on the issue. If Kay wanted to tell him, she would. "Sometimes I don't think you realize what kind of person you are talking to." Mac grinned at her before taking another bite of steak. In truth, [member="Lady Kay"] really didn't know much about Mac. All the information that Mac had revealed was piecemeal. Sure, she probably got the general picture, but by no means has Mac ever told a life story. He wondered what Kay thinks of him.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay gave him a side nod as she chewed her food. [member="Macoda Haberon"] was right. She didn't know him a whole lot. She had the Cliff's notes version of his past, just as he had of hers.

Estranged father. She had one. Of her parents, he was the only one that was still alove and he wanted nothing to do with her for the sole reason that she was a Force User. Kay wondered if the fact that she couldn't have children of her own was his doing.

She ate more of her steak, kind of quiet as she was deep in thought. Mac seemed to assure her that he wouldn't get mad if she told him. Maybe that meant that she could lift that burden from her. Kay set down her utensils and cupped her tea in her hands. "A trio of Elders used to rule this world. The Sith Lord that held me captive made me kill them to assure my place as ruler. He was standing right next to me and wanted it broadcasted to everyone. But I refused. I gave them as swift and painless death as I could instead of a brutal end. And I knew that if the public found out about it, I would be charged with treason and their murder. But if I let the Sith Lord kill them, it would have been far worse. Veiere says that I should stop apologizing for what happened to me during my captivity, but I can't help it. The result of it is what led me to do what I did, despite the small mercy that I gave them."

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac tried desperately to not role his eyes. That was it? Killing these Elders? "Kay listen to me. If I had a credit for every time that a leader was killed by the person who would take his place, I would have retired from pirating a long time ago. Now from what it sounds like, you did the best you could in a situation that was beyond your control. That's all anyone could ask of you, and it certainly doesn't alter the way I view you." Mac took the last bite of his steak, allowing [member="Lady Kay"] to process what he said. Hopefully his reaction would come as a great relief to her but the truth was that Kay's secret really did alter the way that Mac viewed her. Her horrible secret sounded relatively tame in comparison to everything else that Mac has witnessed in his life. All that Kay's secret did for Mac was that it showed how innocent Kay really was or perhaps it showed how jaded Mac has become to terrible things. Either way, Mac was glad that Kay opened up to him and was honored to call her his friend.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay sipped her tea while [member="Macoda Haberon"] spoke. She set her cup down when she realized that he wasn't mad at her. She looked down at her plate, her steak nearly finished but not quite yet. And when she brought her eyes up to meet Mac's, she smiled. "Thanks Mac...I appreciate it. It was the worst thing that I can remember doing. Since only good memories were stolen from me, that has to be the truth."

She started finishing off her steak, speaking inbetween bites. "Should we bring anything into the arena with us?" It was sure to be a game of cat and mouse.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac had gotten up to wash off his plate and clean up the ingredients. He turned around to Kay as he was running water over his plate. "I might just grab some water but other than that, I'll be good to go. You?" Mac set his plate in the dishwasher. He was sure that [member="Lady Kay"] had plenty of servants to clean the kitchen but Mac just did it out of habit. After putting away the ingredients in the cupboard, he grabbed a bottle of water.

"Ready when you are."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay nodded, chewing down her last bite. "Works for me." She finished off her tea, she got up from the table and rinsed her dishes. The kitchen crew were used to her looking after herself at times, so they let them be.

She picked out a water bottle and nodded to him. "Alright. I'm ready." Kay led [member="Macoda Haberon"] out of the Palace. Instead of taking a speederbike to the arena in the Twin Canyons, she chose to walk. It would help them digest their food better. "So, I suppose the way to do this would be for me get a head start once we're in there?"

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac turned to [member="Lady Kay"] as they walked out of the Palace towards the arena. "A head start? What exactly do you have in mind?" Mac thought that she would just be showing him the arena. He was expecting a little sparring but a head start?

She isn't expecting me to let her have the first punch is she?

 

[Kay-Larr]

"You'll see."

Kay led [member="Macoda Haberon"] across the field and into the winding trail of the eastern canyon. She took him through a small tunnel, which then opened up to the arena.

She opened up her bottle and had a sip of the water. She was more refreshed now, her energy replenished after healing Mac's knee earlier. "Well I don't imagine that I'll come across hunters or assassins only on a ship. It could happen anywhere." She could make use of her environment more and not only hide, but also to ambush her opponent.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac was curious to what [member="Lady Kay"] was planning as she lead him through the canyon. He got goosebumps as he stepped into the arena once they had finally emerged from a tunnel that was embedded in the canyon wall. The arena itself was a hollow shell compared to what it once was. The floor of the arena itself was practically gone, leaving the many halls and living chambers of past gladiators exposed to the air, forming what looked like an ancient labyrinth of crumbling stone. Yet he could still hear the cheering. He could picture himself back on Loovria fighting in one of the many stadiums against exotic species he had never seen before. The audience chanting his name. Mac placed his hands on his axes as he looked around the arena. He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Mac snapped out of his trip down memory lane and offered a sarcastic comment to Kay, "And does my lady find herself in an abandoned arena often?" Mac smiled teasingly.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay had to laugh at Mac's comment after he snapped out of his thoughts. She could tell that [member="Macoda Haberon"] wasn't all present for he had a faraway look in his eyes while he looked around the place. She had an idea of what he was thinking about.

"No of course not. But it does sort of resemble an old town. You can see where windows were, doors, plenty of rooms. This will work, won't it?" She imagined herself dodging and zig-zagging through the place, all in a bid to escape capture.

Little did she know that she practiced in the very same arena with [member="Ghorua the Shark"] , but to help him get over his fears. Those memories of her dear Herglic friend were taken from her by her captor. But maybe....just maybe...she'll start to have flashes.