The Force of Fear

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Yet another way that Kay is restricted by her job.

Mac wondered if [member="Lady Kay"] felt any pleasure in being Queen. He certainly wouldn't in her position. It was an odd thought, as he could've been the King of Fornow had it not been stolen by Kaine Zambrano. That would have lead Mac on such a different path. But there was no use thinking about what could have been. As far as Kay's job restricting her from carrying weapons, Mac didn't pursue that farther. Nothing would come of it. He still held the opinion that Kay was very much a slave to her job in several ways. Mac hoped to restore her freedom in any way that he could and he was sure that Kay knew that as well.

However Mac's train of thought was broken as Lady Kay mentioned his axes. Mac let out a laugh. "Oh ho ho." He pulled out an ax and traced his finger along the handle and blade. "See here? These axes are forged from phrik by the best smiths on Fornow. They can stand up to any lightsaber." Though Mac had never personally tested his axes against a lightsaber, he had seen his father do so several times during the Invasion of Fornow. "As far as practice goes, I am at my Lady's service whenever you desire." Mac bowed with a playful grin.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay raised a brow slightly as [member="Macoda Haberon"] pulled out one of his axes and showed her the markings. She knew about phrik, most people did. It shouldn't surprise her that given his fear of Force users, he'd have something to protect himself from them.

She smirked a little as he bowed, knowing that he was playfully mocking her position. "Well we'll have to give it a try next time. But try not to laugh. I'm not entirely confident in using it."

Her attention was drawn to the markings on the axe again. "What do the markings say? Are they the name of your family? Or something else entirely?" She had no family heirlooms of her own. [member="Tobias Larr"] , her father, wanted nothing to do with her.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac sat down on a nearby rock wall that had crumbled to a comfortable height to sit on, he could tell that a conversation was about to take place. He waited for [member="Lady Kay"] to sit down across from him as he twirled the ax in his hands, looking down at the engravings on the blade. He was surprised that Kay was curious enough to ask the question, but it made him a little happy that she did. "The engravings are in old Epicant. On one side of the blade it says 'Clan Haberon' and on the other side it reads the clan motto, 'Here we stand'. The other ax has the same engravings."

He read the markings. Here we stand. Here we stand against the world, unwavering. But there was no longer a place to stand, and there was no longer a "we". As far as Mac knew, he was the only one left of his clan. Fornow had been taken from him by House Zambrano, and now what was left of his homeworld had devolved into a massive breeding ground for Graugs. Mac sighed, gazing at the engraving. The Haberons were known to be steadfast in battle and in spirit. Yet he had ran from the battle after the death of his father, like a coward. That must've been nearly seven years ago, when he was barely an adult by Epicanthic standards. After all this time, a part of Mac still wondered if it would've been better to die alongside his father. Maybe the Clan Haberon should have fallen along with Fornow. The thought made him visibly sad.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay sat down on another piece of rubble, just across from [member="Macoda Haberon"] after he sat down. She listened to his explanation of the engravings and briefly thought of holding her hand out so that she could examine it herself. But she changed her mind before she could move. Instead she kept her hands on either side of her. "Here we stand? What does that mean? How did it come to be the motto for your clan?"

Did her family have a motto? More than likely it didn't. She had no idea. Clan Raxis on the other hand, they claimed that she was one of their own, yet from what she had read in her own messages, Kay didn't believe that to be true. Her memories were removed, but from what she could tell, she didn't exactly follow what was acceptable for a member of a Clan. She never joined them in battle, only staying on Commenor. Her joining the Clan was only to protect her world from attack as the Clans were on some silly religious crusade. Perhaps her marriage to Veiere would solidify her break from the Mandalorians altogether. Who knows? Only time would tell.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac wasn't quite sure how the motto initially came to be, perhaps it was created along with Clan Haberon during the Clone Wars when Epicanthic settlers from Panatha colonized Fornow. However he did know what the motto meant. Mac continued to flip the ax over in his hands as he looked up at [member="Lady Kay"]. "Here we stand. It means that we never run away nor forsake our friends or family. You stand where you are, against the brunt of the world. No matter how bad things get, you keep standing. If you get knocked down, then stand back up." Standing meant a lot of things to Mac. It was defiance in the face of those that would knock you down. It was bravery against the fears that you face. It was loyalty for those who stand beside you. "As you can tell, the motto was stressed heavily when I was growing up." Mac showed a small nostalgic grin.

He had betrayed his clan by running away on that terrible night on Fornow. He could still hear their screams as he fled into the woods. He just picked up his father's axes from his fried corpse and ran like a coward. He did not stand and fight. There was no more "here" no more "we". The only thing that Mac had left was standing, and for the past seven years, he was standing alone. Yet for the first time in a long time, he no longer felt alone. Mac looked up at Kay, with tears welling in his eyes. He finally had someone to stand next to.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay nodded as she listened to him. It was a great motto and now that she understood it's meaning, she respected it even more. "Aha...so your family are stubborn." She winked with a playful grin as she teased him. She was very stubborn as well. At times she was known for it. "Commenor doesn't quite have a motto. We have a couple of sayings, one being 'Commenor survives'. Despite the changes of allegiances in our sector of space, our culture, our way of life always survives. From the days of the old Empire and Republic, until now. We survive. The other saying is more on the political side of things, and that is 'The Commenori stay home'. We don't send our soldiers abroad to fight someone elses' battles if we can help it. That has helped to keep us free from enemies." And it kept them fully neutral too.

Then she saw something that she didn't expect. [member="Macoda Haberon"] had tears in his eyes. At first Kay wasn't sure if she should make it known that she noticed. She had to leave him his pride afterall. But another part of her cared too much to just let it go. She got to her feet and stepped over to him, wrapping an arom around his shoulders in a bit of a sideways hug. "Hey...it's okay. I know what it's like to be without a family. But you'll always be welcome here. This is your home away from home. We'll always be here to help you in any way that you need, alright?"

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac wiped the tears from his eyes and sniffled as [member="Lady Kay"] went to embrace him. He still wasn't used to being the center of attention, and he was a prideful man so he tried his best to clean the emotions from his face. He listened carefully to what Kay had to say. She did know what it was like to live without a family, but there was still some hope for her. She had Veiere for one, but she also had Bradshaw and possibly Rae-Anna. That was Mac's main motivation to finding Rae-Anna. He no longer had his real family, but he could help put back together Kay's, who was the closest thing he had to family.

Was Commenor home though? No, it really wasn't. Though Mac has spent a couple months on the planet, he still felt out of place. He had nothing in common with the well-off people who commute to work everyday, who look forward to the next social gathering or fancy to-do. Mac wasn't meant for the life, and that was pretty much the life of Commenor. He still had Kay though, who was the only person that really anchored him to the planet.

He looked back at Kay who was now beside him. "I didn't stand. I ran away and abandoned my family like a coward." Mac looked down at the axes in his hands, his voice slowly rising. "I took these off my father and I ran! I watched him as he was electrocuted to death with karking SITH MAGIC." Mac suddenly stood up from rubble. The giant had a good control on his temper, most of the time. He was level headed, and rarely ever acted irrationally. Yet built up anger has to be released eventually, and Mac had a lot in him. He was seething at this point. He kunckled his axes so hard that the leather wrappings cut into his palms. Mac thought that Dorn could've easily slaughtered every single one, but he wasn't a force user and he died screaming.

Mac was beyond words at this point. He roared and lammed his axes into the wall beside him with all his hatred and fear and frustration. The wall toppled to the ground. He feared the power of the force and he hated those who wielded it. He hated himself for his fear and was frustrated with his built up anger. He whipped around and glared menacingly at Lady Kay, his blood was boiling. He gripped his axes tightly and was seething like a beast. Then Mac realized who he was looking at and his anger subsided somewhat. He felt guilty, he didn't mean to direct any anger onto Kay. He wasn't in the arena anymore, and he wasn't going to have another episode.

His breathing slowed back down and looked at Kay. "Sorry about that."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay could feel the emotions coursing through [member="Macoda Haberon"] as he spoke of what happened to his family. He felt guilty for it, just as she did for hers. She stepped back a couple of steps as his anger grew. He was going to explode. Her only hope was that he wpuld redirect it elsewhere.

And he did.

The wall tumbled down and Kay began to take a step forward until he had suddenly turned and looked at her. There was no kindness in his eyes. He looked completely different. All of the pain and the hurt brought tears into her own eyes. She just stood her ground, fixating on nothing in particular as she clenched her jaw and waited for her to be struck, shoved away or yelled at. Mac apologized instead, however, and she looked up at him, her voice quiet, just barely above a whisper. "I am the reason for the death of my family too. It was my stubborness and defiance that caused the Sith Lord to attack us. I tried to get us out from under his boot, but every attempt failed. He was always steps ahead of us. Then it came to the last straw and my late husband and I were beated pretty severely. It was my husband's sacrifice that allowed me to live. My actions ruined my family, had my children taken away from me and caused my husband to be murdered in front of me. I saw the life leave his eyes." She clenched her jaw as she paused, doing her best to try to avoid becoming a blubbering mess in front of him. "During my captivity, I was shown that fateful night, had to relive it countless times. It will never leave me. It will haunt me forever." She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We just have to promise ourselves to make better choices, so that it doesn't happen again."

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Again. We just have to promise ourselves to make better choices , so that it doesn't happen again.

Mac repeated the words of [member="Lady Kay"] in his head. But her words did not alleviate his anger. "There is no 'again' for me, Kay. I have lost everything. I have no one. And there is nothing I can do to reverse that." Mac laid the horrible truth out for her. He dropped his head, staring at the ground, axes still in hand. The giant pirate always felt so small. Mac felt powerless against his past, powerless against his force using enemies, powerless against his fears, and powerless against his anger. He shifted his gaze to the the axes in his hands. These axes were the only things that made him feel powerful again, as if he had some say in his life. He tightened his grip and looked back up at her. "But there is still a chance for you to have a family Kay. I will find Rae-Anna no matter what it takes." Mac's look was of a solemn promise.

Still, there was something lurking in the back of Mac's mind. Even his outburst of anger was suppressed. He needed a strong catharsis. Something that would allow him to go absolutely berserk. It was a long time since he allowed himself to just let go. Mac looked up around the abandoned arena. He needed to kill something.

Too bad this arena is no longer operational.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay's jaw dropped slightly in his response. Was he even listening? Or was [member="Macoda Haberon"] too fixated on the past that he was blind to all else? She raised her voice now and stepped towards him, having of course to look way up. "Do you think that I hadn't lost everything? Do you think that my life had ever been filled with loving parents and brothers and sisters? No! I never had that! My parents gave me up as soon as they found out that I was Force sensitive! My mother is dead and I never got to know her! My Father doesn't want anything to do with me! I have no family but what I made for myself. I can't even bare my own children to create a family!" She started jabbing a finger at his chest. "So don't you dare tell me that you have nothing and nobody, and that you never will! The only way that it won't happen is if you CHOOSE for it not to! Look at what's right in front of you for Force's sake!"

She was getting angry, too angry for her liking. But Mac was being stupid. Kay just gave him a hard shove and then stormed off. They both needed a break, a bit of breathing room. She offered him a place to be a part of something on a personal level as she still had gaps in her memories where she couldn't remember her best friends at all. And to be around someone where she could remember it all was very special for her, something that she didn't want to have to let go.

Best friends, those loyal and honest were a rare find indeed.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac had been punched and kicked and brutally beaten in his life, but [member="Lady Kay"] jabbing a finger into his chest had hurt Mac worse than most blows ever could. He had a lot of feelings swarming inside him, none of which were good. Mac was extremely frustrated with himself. He had so so much anger inside him and he tried his best to suppress it. When ever he did have an outburst, he always filled with guilt afterwards, the same guilt which filled him as he stared at the friend who shoved him away. Wasn't he entitled to some release of anger without feeling guilty after all that he has been through? There were times where Mac wanted nothing more than to rage and pull his hair and scream at the world. But he always suppressed himself.

One day, Mac will snap.

He tried to open himself up to Kay a little bit but all it did was create more frustration. Yet he felt guilty about what he said. Mac stepped after Kay, he wasn't going to lose the only person he cared about. "Wait Kay, I didn't mean it like that." Mac paused, searching in his heart for the right words. He sighed. "I had lost everything, my home, my family, all of it. I have been standing alone for a long time. That is, until I came here and you decided to spar me and take me in." Mac raised up his hands halfheartedly to signal that he still didn't understand why she choose to spar him. He continued, "You mean a lot to me Kay, and that's why I will stop at nothing to find Rae-Anna for you. Because you are the closest thing to family that I have, and I want to help you find your own. I know what it's like to have no one, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody." Mac wasn't looking for pity, he just stated what he felt.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay stopped as soon as she heard [member="Macoda Haberon"] following behind her. She slowly turned around to face him, yet didn't look up into his eyes while a apologized. In some small way, they had misunderstood eachother, yet she wasn't going to hold that against him. Still, she didn't want to risk losing control of her emotions again, so she kept her eyes from his. "We both spared eachother, Mac. We both did. I know what it's like to be alone for years. I know what it's like to lose everything and everyone. I have lost some of my memories, memories of best friends that avoid me at all costs because of what happened to me."

She furrowed her brows as she kicked at the dirt on the ground with her boot. "During my captivity, I kept being told how weak and worthless I am. And they were right. I try to handle everything by myself, try to do everything by myself, but all that it was leading to was insanity. Others know this. It's why I am watched all the time and always have guards. I wouldn't even be Queen right now if it weren't for someone else making it happen. They wanted me to be a puppet. I suppose that in another way, I am."

Kay shrugged her shoulders a bit as she had gone off on some other tangent than where she had intended. She looked up at his eyes then, after taking a breath. "The point is that you are strong and capable of things that I'm not capable of. And as much as you want to help me gain a family, that's what I seek for you too. What you are doing in my service is honourable. Yes, you're being paid, but there's more to it than that. You've been given another chance. History has a habit of repeating itself and with help, you'll find yourself not making the same mistakes. You will make your family proud, just as you make me." She believed in him more than she believed in herself. But that's the way that it had always been for Kay. And it had served her well for the most part.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac chewed carefully on what [member="Lady Kay"] had said. After years of running, could he actually make a life here on Commenor? Would he even want to settle? These were questions that immediately came to mind, but they would be answered in time. Mac returned the eye contact to Kay, "It's not about the honor or the money or anything like that." True, the pursuit of redemption was the primary reason why Mac entered Kay's service aboard the Free Lady, but his motivation has evolved from that. Mac shrugged, "I care about you, Kay. You are my family. I never said this I don't think, but thank you for all that you have done for me." It was as simple as that. Mac's loyalty was not from his own sense of honor but rather stemmed from his relationship with Kay.

Still, there was one phrase that troubled Mac. "I'm not as strong as you think I am. Aye, I am pretty handy with an axe but so is a Gamorrean. I..." Mac paused and briefly looked up at Kay, contemplating if he should say what he was going to say. She already had a small understanding of what Mac was going through mentally but he was worried about how Kay would view him if she truly knew how bad it was. Then Mac remembered how Kay told him her secret about killing the Elders. That took a substantial amount of trust in Mac to open up like that. Did Mac have that same trust in Kay?

"Kay... I am just so karked up." Mac offered a pained laugh, clearly uncomfortable with what he was saying. He struggled at first to find the right words, stumbling over his sentences. "I'm I'm paranoid and just riddled with anxiety all the time." Mac clenched his jaw on the last few words, his hands shaking a bit. "Every time I walk out on the street, the thought that I am being followed by one of those infernal Sith assassins just eats away in the back of my mind like a karking parasite. There are times where I feel danger always present just outside the edge of my periphery. I have a crippling fear of the force that I just can't help, Kay." The true desperation entered Mac's voice now, as he stressfully began to rant. "I- I- I- get panicked and I can't breathe at all and my heart feels like its going to beat out of my chest and my skull feels like its going to explode. My stomach just drops and I can feel the blood drain from my face and my vision get blurry. And no matter what I do I can get over that fear unless its with you." Mac paused, briefly lifting his eyes from the ground to Kay.

But Mac broke eye contact and continued. "There are times where I want to pull my hair out or just fall on my knees and scream to my throat is raw. Or or just karking crush someone's skull and I don't know why I like it!" His hands balled into large fists as the intense anger swept over his voice which steadily began to rise. "I always try and suppress it! I have to maintain some control over every single outburst or else people get hurt! I CANT ESCAPE IT!" Mac screamed out of frustration and shot a furious, hate-filled, punch at thing that was closest to him, a rock wall. His anger was temporarily placated, allowing Mac to bottle it back up and burying it inside himself. But as soon as his knuckles met the crumbling stone, a sense of hopelessness washed over Mac. He had given into his anger yet again. He hated being out of control. He was powerless against everything, including himself.

Mac sat himself back down and buried his face in his palms momentarily. He couldn't look at Kay. What would he see? Fear? Disappointment? Anger? He had finally revealed the gruesome scar that Mac's past had left on him. He was truly the strongest broken man. He sighed. "You are right you know, I am capable of things that you aren't. Terrible things, Kay. I have stolen, I have killed innocents, I have killed friends. I let those I care about die." Mac still couldn't bring himself to look at Kay. He had tears in his eyes again, and he was tired of tears. He was tired of fear and of anger and of hatred. He was tired.

"And I don't know how to change."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay nodded as [member="Macoda Haberon"] again spoke of his appreciation for what she's done for him. In truth he should've been locked away or sent to work in the mines for what he had done and had attempted to do. But she had seen something in him that made her gut instincts tell her not to. That he would do far better at her side than away from it.

She had to laugh a little as he mentioned the Gamorreans. Mac was far better than they were, much smarter and a better conversationalist. But his lack of confidence right now saddened her. Now she knew how others felt, especially Veiere when she went through times like this.

Then his mood shifted again and he opened up. Revealling his anxieties, his paranoia and his fears; all that led him to anger. Kay listened, her features showing nothing but concern. There was no disappointment, no dismay for what he was saying. Even his violent outburst wasn't frowned upon. In some ways Mac reminded her of Brad.

As he sat back down and held his face in his hands, exhausted, Kay placed her hand on Mac's shoulder. She didn't need him to look up, she just needed him to listen and to know that he wasn't alone. "We all have weird quirks developed because our experiences. It took me a while to not freak out whenever a door opened. I was so used to getting beaten up and taken away for torture. I still have problems, issues that need to be dealt with."

She sat down beside him, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "We've all done things that we're not proud of. Even my husband-to-be has regrets. I think that a good thing for you to do would be to visit his Praxium. If anything, it would help to get you more comfortable around other Force users besides me. And Veiere wants me to go there more anyways. We could go together." Of course [member="Veiere Arenais"] wanted her to train there among the other students, as well as to teach, but she wasn't so sure about letting out her secret yet.

Kay then looked over to Mac. She needed to help boost his confidence in other ways that would hold meaning. "I was going to save this for later, during the celebrations that we have coming up, but Darlyn is going to be promoted to a Minister position, which leaves his current job as Head of Security vacant. I want to give that title to you, Mac. You've more than proved yourself in my eyes and it'll give you more tools to work with, more pay, and more control over my safety. Would you take it?"

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac looked up at [member="Lady Kay"] with a good amount of surprise in his eyes. Kay's promotion took Mac off guard. "Wha- Really?" He took a moment to collect himself and gather his thoughts before he continued, taking on a more professional tone. "I would be honored to serve you as Head of Security, my lady." Mac leaned forward and placed his arms around Kay in an embrace. The hug would convey his appreciation more than words ever could.

What Kay said had clearly lifted Mac's spirits. Though he did not know why Kay had such confidence in him, Mac was excited. He felt more at home on a training field than behind the control panel of the Free Lady anyways, and this new position would allow him to do everything in his power to keep Kay safe. However Mac and Darlyn would probably have different approaches in regards to Kay's security.

However if Mac was to be directly in charge of Kay's safety, the sudden responsibility had created a strong desire to clean himself up. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. "But I can't serve you like this." Mac started nodding his head, assuring himself. "I would like to go to the Praxium first and try and face my fears."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay laughed a little as [member="Macoda Haberon"] hugged her. She dropped her knees and hugged him back, glad that her idea had worked and that his spirits were lifted. Maybe this would give him a sense of purpose too. "I'm glad to hear it. Although giving you the authority to boss me around at times..." She let that sentence hang there as she grinned. Mac knew all about her stubborness.

He then straightened up and composed himself. Kay was pleased that he had decided to try another way of facing his fears. With Brad he had nearly cut the circulation off her arm. Hopefully in a peaceful environment, Mac would be more comfortable. "Alright then. Let's go. Classes might be over now, so there might not be as many students running around for you to worry about. It's a really nice place. Veiere and the others did a very good job in it's construction."

She got to her feet and dusted herself off. Kay was somewhat drained of all the energy spent in the past hour, both emotionally and physically. She brought out her commlink and activated the direct channel to [member="Veiere Arenais"] . ~Hello dear, it's me. I'm on my way to the Praxeum with Mac. He needs a bit of help and some guidance. I figured that it was the best place for him. We should be there within the hour.~ She looked to Mac, giving him a reassuring smile as she led him out of the arena.

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

As Mac followed [member="Lady Kay"] out of the crumbling arena, he started to focus on what laid ahead. He had never heard of the Praxium before, although it sounded like some kind of school for force users. Mac already had his guard up, he wasn't going to let himself be indoctrinated by a bunch of Jedi who were naive enough to think they actually know how the universe works. This was all about exposure, Mac told himself. This trip would just be to get over his fear of the force so that he could better serve Kay as Head of Security.

Mac looked at Kay with a newfound happiness. His time on Commenor had given him a purpose to focus on which helped his mental health greatly. Not only that, but it was a purpose that Mac could excel at. Fighting, combat, protection, he knew these well. And what is more, he would be fighting for a cause that he truly cared about, or rather that a person that he truly cared about.

He looked to Kay. "Tell me about Veiere. I have only met him once, but he seemed nice enough." Perhaps some explanation of the person who founded the Praxium would put Mac's mind to ease.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay strolled out of the arena, occasionally glancing at [member="Macoda Haberon"] while he seemed lost in his thoughts. He smiled at times and she could feel that he was happy. Good. A sense of purpose was always a good thing. She had lost hers a few times, and was unsure of whether or not she'd ever find it. But being able to continue to rule Commenor and now the sector, to protect it's people; that was her purpose. Sure there was the fact that in her old life she wouldn't of been so quick to increase the military budget substantially, but even [member="Veiere Arenais"] saw that it was needed. With his guidance and influence, she had managed to keep a level head on that issue and many others. Without him, without [member="Atheus"] , [member="Darlyn Excron"] and Mac, she would probably be a lost cause. Thank the Force they didn't abandon her like some others did.

She smiled in spite of herself as Mac asked about Veiere. "He is very nice. And patient. Very loyal. I've known him for about five years. He was in exile and I hired him as a bodyguard and advisor. We grew close, but out of respect and maybe a bit of denial, we kept our affections to ourselves." She laughed a little as she recalled the memory. "He even proposed in quiet at a conclave, a meeting at a place that's like the Praxeum. It just came out of him so casually as though it was a normal conversation. No one heard us either, which was probably a good thing as we were off topic. Just like I'm slightly off topic now. I think that you'll both get along quite well. And if anyone can help you to ease your anxieties around Force Users, it's him."

 

[Hadrian Bjormund]

Mac continued to look at [member="Lady Kay"] when she was describing Veiere. He didn't pay so much attention to the words that she was saying but rather how she looked when describing him. Kay had clearly lit up at the mention of her fiance, and couldn't help but show a contagious smile. Such a reaction was good enough for Mac, although he still managed to hold onto some doubts. After all, Mac was scared of the people who use the force necessarily, but rather was scared of their power that they hold over anyone else, their potential to do terrible things. Mac knew from personal experience that no matter how well-intentioned a person might be, it only takes one bad day for them to do terrible things.

Still, he wasn't going to overcome his fears with that sort of thinking, and so he concentrated on Kay's smile in an attempt to stay optimistic. "He sounds like a good guy. Why was he exiled?" All that Mac had to go off of was Kay's loving description, Veiere's Jedi robes, and his firm handshake, but he would judge his character soon enough. Mac's heart beat was a little fast as they made their way out of the canyon towards the Praxeum.

Whats the worst that could happen?

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay raised a brow slightly at his question. It was a perfectly normal one to ask. She just didn't touch on it earlier as she had a habit of running off on different tangents at times. That's probably what made her a good speaker. "It was a self exile, actually. A bunch of Sith came and murdered nearly everyone at the conclave where he lived. He was on a mission at the time, I think. He felt guilty and ashamed for not being there to try to help, so he ran and hid himself for years." She paused as she opened up her water bottle and had a sip before continuing on. They were out of the canyons now and starting across the large grassy field. Beyond that were the trees which hid the Praxeum.

She shrugged her shoulders a bit as she glanced to [member="Macoda Haberon"] . "It's no different to what I did after my husband died. And what you did. We all suffer from survivor's guilt. I wish that it would go away, but it doesn't. At least not completely."