The Girl and The Robot

[Kaili Talith]

“Of course.” Kaili tried to not choke on her own words. “Here for you if you need anything.”

She heard the muted groans and turned around. Eyes set on Allyson and once more Kaili decided to just look away while she tried to tie her top up. She didn’t need this. She didn’t need the confusion, the torment of curiosity or the daydreams. She needed peace and quiet, the kind that she had known no less than a day ago. She needed the control that she had over her own gut feelings.

Her hands slowly extended themselves towards the ends of the two strings. She felt the thoughts crop up, the ideas and daydreams, but she fought it with all that she had. If Allyson was to live with her, and if Kaili was to survive it, she needed to push them away. Self-control. Her parents had taught her that. Just like when it came to the frequent tantrums she had as a kid. She needed to be in controls, and she repeated the thought over and over until it was the only thing on her mind.

Kaili kept her cool as her fingers slid across the surface of Allyson’s back for the ends to meet and cross each other. Left pierced through right and she pulled it to fasten the grip. Heartbeat rising she made a noose, and once more she crossed the noose, formed another and pulled them through each other until eventually Allyson would find herself with a bow pulled together perhaps a little too tight.

A shaky breath parted Kaili’s lips. She needed control.

Control.

Needed control.

Deep breath and quick exhale.

“Done.” She announced to Allyson.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

The ties were snug, but it just meant she wasn’t going to have an accident of sorts. Which in the situation she was in, was probably for the best. “Thanks!” Allyson got up from her belly position and rolled over. She laid on her back for the most part with her elbows propping her up. Looking out towards the water, she watched the waves crash and the sun slowly getting into position to set. The afternoon was disappearing and here she was no closer to figuring out her feelings. Sitting up and crossing her legs she looked at Kai who was still somewhat close to her from tying her bikini strings.

Looking at her, she seemed to have something on her mind. Allyson reached out and touched the girl’s hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “Something on your mind?” The brunette girl had no idea what was going on with her friend, nothing at all. If she did, she would have already acted on her own feelings, taken the driver seat and began the tantalizing dance. Though it seemed mentalism and empathy skipped over them and they were left trying to decode each other the hard way.

Remembering the position of the sun, Allyson smiled and moved closer to Kaili as she asked the girl quickly, “Can we stay out here long enough to see the sun set, it’s been so long since I’ve seen one in person you know. I bet it’s so beautiful when it sets over the ocean.” Giving Kaili her best sad puppy face, she begged. “Please? Please? Then we can get dinner?” The whole time, Allyson remained grasping the other girl’s hand, it felt natural and comfortable…for her at least. Talking and thinking about dinner and the sunset kept her mind and her body from leaning in and brushing her lips gently against her friend’s. [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

There was a squeeze at Kaili’s hand and just like that she was forced out of her dream world again.

“Huh?” Kaili twitched. “Oh, uh, no. Nothing.”

A lot, actually, but she would never admit. The puppy eyes and the fact that Allyson was holding her hand. Kaili repeated her mantra of self-control like a madwoman inside. Mother would pop a gasket, father would flip. It had been two days. More and more words, events, people were thrown at the equation in the hopes of quelling the fire that was building up inside.

It wasn’t right.

Wasn’t right at all.

“Sure.” Kaili nodded. “We can watch the sunset. I can only imagine they don’t have the same feel to them from a ship.” Kaili laughed it up.

“Actually... What’s it like to live on a ship?” She needed the topic. Something friendly, small-talk, anything. “I can’t imagine not having solid ground beneath my feet at the end of the day.”

As weird as that be for a Warden of the Sky-in-training

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson smiled wider of it was possible. She was overjoyed to actually see a sunset like she used to see when she was a kid. Finally realizing her hand was holding Kaili's she let go of the girl's hand and apologized, "Oh sorry. Yeah it doesn't look the same in space As it does planet side."

The blonde asked about living on a ship, it made Ally blink as she tried to find the words to describe it. Lips pressed together as she found herself deep in thought. "It's not much different as being planet side, except you have to pay attention to the clock. Being up there you kind of lose what time is day and what is night. Throws off the sleep schedule." Laughing, Ally remembered her first trip with Ember, she couldn't sleep and when they had gotten to Yavin, she was a mess.

"Takes time to get used to, but other wise it's pretty cool. Gravity is monitored, but I like to turn it off and float around. Other than that it's my second home." Pondering, she thought about asking Kai to join her after all of this. Though she had her shop and things here. Still...

"Hey, after some time, you wanna go with me? The ship is pretty big and it's just me and Bait. I'd really appreciate the company and we could go where ever you wanted." Allyson didn't dare mention that she didn't want to imagine a time without having [member="Kaili Talith"] around her.

 

[Kaili Talith]

A trip into space. Kaili looked at Allyson, yet unlike before she didn’t get stuck in heart-bleed. She got stuck in the perpetual state of fear that she had grown used to. Allyson didn’t know why Kaili had her friend bleed out in her arms, didn’t know why she really locked herself inside her shop. There was a rift in her mind. The part of her that wanted to escape the surly bonds of Borleias and touch the face of the galaxy again, the part of her that feared what would happen if something went wrong and the other part that wanted to get to know Allyson some more.

“I don’t know.” Kaili whispered as her eye jittered. “I am...”

“I don’t know. I have been planetside so long, I don’t know.”

“But at some point, yes. I would love to see space again. Other planets, foreign stars, all of it.” The kid dreamt herself away into the world of dreams in which she spent most of her time as a child. When things were easier.

“I could probably afford a vacation by the time I get myself ready for it.” If Kaili ever did. “But for now, I want to remain planetside for... Personal reasons.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

There wasn't a clear answer, there wasn't a yes or a no, but Allyson still felt wrong for asking. Crushes were supposed to hurt in the end, if they didn't why would they call them crushed. On the outside she smiled and nodded seeming as she understood everything that Kaili had said. They did just meet two days ago, how crazy would she be to just run away with her on a ship.

There was the time she had told Ally about and she had her business. "Oh yeah, I uh didn't mean right away. I do plan on sticking around here for a little. Being planet side isn't as bad as I thought." Training and being near Kaili would be her reasons, the latter had a heavier effect on her choice of remaining here. Looking away from Kai, she did her best to hide that she was a bit hurt and she could feel some sort of tear build up. What did she expect though? Did she expect Kaili to drop everything and be gung ho? A part of her expected it, more so hoped for it. It would have been a solid notion that they could possibly be more than friends.

Allyson scolded herself mentally reminding her heart that they had just met and people don't fall for each other this quick. It wasn't a holofilm. Looking out towards the sun and it's changing colors she smiled and the tears were pulled back in. "It's really beautiful, sometimes especially when I see stuff like this - I never want to go back to space." The colors began to change and she looked over towards Kaili and smiled. [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

She should have said yes. No she shouldn’t have. Yet she really should have. There was no stop to the madness. Her mind slipped back and forth like a bouncing ball. There was no denying that she wanted to spend more time with Allyson, yet at the same time she didn’t want to risk anything. They were her friend, she was Kaili’s friend, and if there was one thing Kaili didn’t want it’d be to do anything stupid to risk that. If that meant she had to go on in miserable existence at her side, then so be it.

“Yeah.” The kid whispered almost to herself. “It’s something alright.”

There wasn’t a single piece of her mind that didn’t want to ponder the situation she found herself in. Draw the lines and parallels. She was with a beautiful woman, on a beach, the sun was setting and they were both staring at it. Holovids had this scene on display around every remote corner of the galaxy, yet here Kaili was thinking about how inaccurate it all suddenly felt. The uncertainty that they never included or the moment of no return in which a friendship was destroyed.

“Easy to forget it’s there. Even when you have the chance to see it every day.” She turned to Allyson. “Makes you think, right?”

“What else is it that we’re missing without even knowing?”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Sunsets and scenes like this were embedded in the minds of anyone who watched romance holovids or read romance novels. This was the part when love was confessed or feeling rippled to the surface. Even if they had only just met. Allyson's smile faded as she looked back towards the water. This wasn't a holofilm she had to keep reminding herself that. What ever she felt was foolish and wrong. People didn't fall that easy, there was no such thing as soul mates. Even her parents, they were arranged in hopes of creating something better for the families. Growing up, her parents rarely held hands, rarely kissed, but their marriage was still good and more so a logical partnership.

What she felt for Kaili, was something foolish, it had to be. Still, the way her heart raced, the way she had to catch her breath when the blonde said her name, and how she always got lost in those orange eyes, it had to mean something.

Sighing softly she needed to say something before Kaili thought she was insane, "It does, I wonder what the sunset on Tattoine is like with the two Suns and other places like that. I mean there are so many beautiful..." In that moment, Allyson hand taken a moment to look at the girl beside her. The way the sun reflected off her blonde hair and the way her fire colored eyes mirrored the oranges and reds from the sunset. Allyson lost her mind and control over everything that was her being. Moving without thought she spoke quietly, "Kaili?" It was enough to hopefully draw her attention, leaning in she pressed her lips gently against the other girls.

Maybe, the holofilms didn't lie. [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

She heard her name, turned towards Allyson and...

Surprise.

Kaili was left dumbstruck. Her lips touched against Allyson’s her breath knocked out of her lungs. Part of her had wanted this, part of her feared it. She didn’t stop it, she didn’t do anything. She simply received it in a state of complete and petrified panic as the latter half took the reins. They were kissing again and in a state that wasn’t Kaili being swept away under her complete exhaustion. She was alive, she was well-aware of what was going on and she was being kissed by the very woman that she had been fantasizing about, what... An hour ago?

This wasn’t fair, this wasn’t right. Now wasn’t the time. But if now wasn’t the time, when was?

Kaili waited for the kiss to be over with only to remain frozen solid in place. Mind blown up, eyes wide open and jittering from the confusion. A knot formed in her stomach until finally she broke free from her static pose.

“Wow.” She uttered in disbelief. “I-...”

Heavy breathing, brief and shaky inhales.

“I don’t know what to do.” Kaili almost broke down. “I wanted to, I did, but...”

“I...”

“Allyson, I...” The kid swallowed air. “Fark, I should have...”

“I...”

The kid couldn’t speak. Her mind forbade it.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

There was nothing returned, she waited and wanted something back, but nothing the films and books had told the hopeless romantics had come true. She was here with her lips pressed against a woman that obviously didn't want or wasn't ready for it. So the holofilm did lie. Pulling away she stared at the sand at her feet. She would give any amount of money or anything to be able to take back what she just did.

Listening to Kaili's ramblings, she looked at her. The urge to pat her on the back and try and make her feel better was there and was real. Yet, touching her after being rejected for the most part stopped her. Though, some sort or reassurance was good and Ally reached out and patted the other girl's shoulder. She didn't know what she was trying to say so Allyson drew assumptions. "It's okay...I got caught up in the moment...I'm so sorry. "

She pulled her hand from Kaili's shoulder. If it was possible, Allyson would run as far from this place and time, just get away and beat herself up for the stupidity and lack of control. She needed air, everything felt as if it was closing in on her. Allyson was embarrassed and rejected beyond belief. Once more she patted Kaili's shoulder and stood from her place on the beach. "I need...I'm going to take a walk..." She didn't look back toward Kai as she started toward the break where the water and the sand met. A part of her lingered just to see if Kaili would say anything, do anything, but if she didn't she would head down and away from the blonde girl just so she could gather herself. [member="Kaili Talith"].

 

[Kaili Talith]

“Yeah, okay.” Kaili merely nodded at Allyson with full understanding for wanting to take a walk. “I understand.”

Her arms wrapped themselves around her knees again. This was her fault. She should have acted, shouldn’t have held back. Too late now, the woman was gone. Her items were still nearby, but Allyson herself was gone and all Kaili could do was hug herself for a measure of peace. Now more than ever did the beach feel like a bad idea. Where did this put Kaili and Allyson? They were still friends, right? What would this make of them?

Kaili shouldn’t have remained still. Things would have been easier if she hadn’t.

But would things have been easier for her, or for Allyson? That was the one question that boggled head mind the most. Kaili planted her face between her legs. She needed the cramped space, the feeling of being home again where everything made sense, where it all was simple. A space where only she existed.

If fear was the mind killer, then what would this be?

“I’m sorry, Allyson.” Kaili muttered into her thigh. “If you only knew.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson didn't walk far, mostly because a part of her couldn't be that far from Kai. In the short time they had spent together, there was this need to be close that had developed. Looking back towards the girl, she seemed so far away and with her head in her legs, Allyson felt even worse. She was so cruel, pushing her unrequited emotions on a girl who for the most part was a hermit.

It was obviously these sort of things didn't happen to her and she didn't know how to respond. Allyson covered her face with her hands feeling even worse. Self loathing replaced embarrassment and she knew walking away was probably the worst thing she could do. The sun was almost gone and they should head back to the shop, but Allyson wondered if she was still welcomed there. Cringing at the though of ruining everything, she figured she should probably pack her things and go. Bait was repaired and Kaili probably wanted her own space again.

"Good going Ally always finding a way to kark things up." Sighing, she headed back towards Kai, she needed to repair the friendship and make sure that when they do part of it is forever that it be on good terms. Waking over, she didn't make much of a sound. She sat beside the girl who had her face hidden.

Remembering Kaili enjoying cramped spaces, Allyson moved so she was behind the girl and carefully wrapped her arms tightly around her. Of course before giving her a squeeze she spoke quietly. "I'm sorry, let's forget that ever happened and just go back to before. Please Kaili..." Allyson pressed her forehead against the youngest Talith's back. "I can't lose you too...I just can't." [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

“It’s not that I didn’t want to.” Kaili sighed. “I am just not...” Head slowly shook. “Ready yet.”

Perhaps that was it. It felt a bit like eureka moment. A fantasy was still a fantasy, but to see that fantasy turned into reality was something Kaili quite simply hadn’t readied herself for yet. She cared for Allyson. She was a beautiful woman and most certainly one of the most attractive women she had met, but Kaili wasn’t ready yet. The past still haunted her and until that was squared away, Kaili wouldn’t know what to do.

“Allyson, you are amazing. Don’t think anything else, okay? But I just can’t. Not now.”

Kaili sighed once more and let go of her knees. She stood up and turned towards Allyson while stroking her arms. All things considered, things were about to get slightly chillier.

“We should get inside. Put on something slightly warmer than water-designed underwear and see about eating that dinner we never had.” Kaili offered her hand to help Allyson up. “One day, but not now, Allyson. I promise you that.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

"If you promise me that you'll come around one day...I'll wait even if it's forever for that one day to come." Allyson took Kaili's hand and stood up. She gathered everything they had brought. Shaking out the towels the best she could she draped one around Kai's shoulders. "Dinner sounds amazing right now. Didn't realize how hungry I was. I think we skipped lunch?" Trying to remember the last time she ate, Allyson started the trek back towards the shop. It seemed like she was still welcomed which was a good thing considerably.

Pondering she needed to know her boundaries and she opened her hand towards the other girl. "I won't kiss you until you're ready, but is it alright if I hold your hand from time to time?" The hand was offered, but if she refused to hold hands Ally would be alright. To know that there is a chance then she was okay with that.

Either way hand held or not, she would pat her stomach. "What do you have in mind for dinner? I think I picked last night?" Grinning she waited to see what Kai would come up with. [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

“We skipped lunch.” Kaili nodded. “But it’s not like I’m not used to it.”

All things considered it was still just a few months since Kaili’s appetite had been all but non-existent. Allyson was indeed welcome at Kaili’s place, though mainly as a friend. At least for now. It felt a bit cruel, sure, but if Allyson was to stay around Kaili and learn, then did she really expect her to stay at hotel? Kaili had no problem with getting a better couch.

“Sure.” Kaili grabbed the hand that was offered. “Just don’t try to drag me away. You have a tendency to do that, you know...”

Kaili grinned at Allyson. It was doubtful Kaili would ever stop making jokes in times like these. It was far too good of a tool to quite simply ignore.

“I’m think Atrisian. They have this fantastic noodle place a few more blocks down from where the bakeshop was...”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

“I promise; I’d hate to lose you in the dust.”

Their fingers entwined and Allyson felt better about the entire thing. She had been worried that she had not only lost a friend, but lost something before it was able to happen. Kaili needed time, which was more than okay – Allyson realized that she needed time as well. They would be able to grow with each other and knowing that someone, somewhere in the Galaxy cares about if she comes home made Allyson feel somewhat whole again.

“Atrisian sounds amazing! This place has everything, totally starting to get why you picked here to open up your shop.” They headed back towards the shop, Allyson felt more than better even after she made a fool of herself. Making her way through after Kaili, she went to grab a change of clothing. Remembering she only packed for a few days, she would have to head back to the Cornet to either get more clothes or wash what she had. Frowning slightly, it would be an outfit that she wasn’t too fond of, but it worked. Simple pair of her bloodstripe pants and a white t-shirt like V-neck. She changed in the bathroom and waited for Kaili to announce that she was ready.

Sitting behind the bathroom door, Allyson did her best to first off not peek and secondly not imagine peeking. Her thumb was quickly at her mouth as she gnawed at the tip nervously. The blonde needed time and Allyson needed to respect that despite how difficult it was. Looking down at her hand, the same had that Kaili had held. Remembering the feeling of her fingers laced with the other girl’s brought her back to reality and she was alright again. “You almost ready, I’m starving…” [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

Kaili didn’t think too much on the handholding. Cold, perhaps, but it wasn’t one of those things she was particularly worried about in the great picture. She had already had it confirmed that she had someone who wanted her, desired her even. She had turned her down, but ultimately it was nice to know. As weird as it felt, she did care for Allyson, though she was still uncertain to what degree. As a friends was without doubt the reality of it, but as anything more, she was far less sure of.

They approached the home. Allyson got in, got changed, got out and just like that it was Kaili’s turn. The kid grabbed her items, took a five minute wash-off and got out. Dried herself up and once that was over with, she hurried to get dressed. A blue tank top, a black unzipped sweater and a pair of those ever popular slim-fit brown tights.

Yeah, no, Kaili had never been a fashion icon and she never really intended to become one either.

Hair left in a soaked curly mess she stepped outside the bathroom and looked at Allyson.

“You know, we should talk about patience someday...” Full on Mother Kira mode. “There are people on Tattooine who are starving, you know. You can live with the wait.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

“Patience? I have patience.” Smirking, and knowing that it ruffles the blonde girl’s feathers. “If you scold me I’ll have to answer with ‘Yes, Master’”. Allyson stuck her tongue out towards Kaili and put the toy she had pulled out to play with while she waited for Kaili to get ready to go. Despite her efforts the toy still was only able to be manipulated into a triangle and now that Kaili was out of the refresher and possible close to being ready, she put the toy back into her bag and sat upon the couch.

“You look nice.” Allyson wondered if her usual spacer/Corellian look would be alright. She secretly channeled her inner Han Solo at times. Folding her arms, she shook her head slightly. “Starving children on Tattooine is an issue, I’ve dropped supplies there before for the outlying settlements.” Allyson remembered a few times with the drops she picked up stowaways, which she really didn’t blame the kids that did it. Though, so Clan Rekali didn’t get into trouble for kidnapping she would have to return them, but they always got a few trips around the planet on the Freighter.

“I’m not starving per se…but I really do like Atrisian noodles, you just got me all excited.” Looking at the weather panel she frowned slightly. “You should dry your hair, the wind has picked up a little, don’t want you to get sick.” Grinning, she teased the girl. “Not sure if I’m ready for boogers and drool while you sleep Kai.” [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

Taking the starving kids on trips in the ship was certainly it’s own kind of philanthropy. Kaili would have smiled if she knew of it. Instead she merely gave Allyson a most unamused stare and frown as she insisted on calling her ‘master’ once more. Though that hardly lasted before she noticed Allyson stuffing the magnetic toy away for later use again. Frown turned upside down and turned into a grin.

“Thanks.” Kaili nodded courteously at the compliment. Before listening to Allyson’s story. “Sounds like you’ve seen quite a lot then. More than me, at least.”

Though hopefully no mass graves. Everyone could live without those.

“So you are that excited for noodles, huh?” Kaili snickered. “Alright then.”

And then...

The comment about drooling and boogers.

“You saw that, huh?” Cheeks turning red. It wasn’t exactly one of her more graceful habits. “It happens when I get exhausted. You really wore me out yesterday, you know.”

Towel shaken through the hair one last time. Kaili tossed it to the floor and went for the door.

“I can take care of that later.” She shrugged. “Let’s go eat!”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

It was a really cute yet really disgusting way to see the blonde girl, but it also solidified Allyson’s crush on her. The girl was pretty normal, weird and just her own person. It was interesting what two days could tell you. A stifled laugh seeped through Allyson’s covered mouth as Kaili mentioned she was ‘worn out’ the day before. Remembering the night before, Allyson made note that it was Kai that started all of it. With a grin, she looked towards the girl as they left the shop, “It’s your fault you know. I would have perfectly been fine with our witty banter – though yours was a bit zombie like.”

Allyson turned and faced Kaili as she imitated her best zombie for Kaili. She ran her two index fingers down the corner of her open groaning mouth imitating the drooling that the girl had done the night before. “Zombie Kai is hungrrrrryyyyyyy….rarrrrwwwrrrrrrrlllllllll” Being unable to keep up the act, she laughed and shook her head. “It wasn’t that bad really, nowhere near the amount of water of an ocean.”

It seemed like a good idea to not bring up the fact that Allyson thought it was cute, or that the kiss that happened after Kaili’s was pretty somewhat intense. Offering her hand as usual, she waited for Kaili to lead the way – since she really didn’t know where this place was. [member="Kaili Talith"]