The Girl and The Robot

[Kaili Talith]

“I’ll show you red.” Kaili muttered bitterly underneath her breath. Pleasantries be damned, her head hurt. When the worst of it was gone she raised her voice and put on a smile again. “I am okay, thanks.”

The spoon was plunged into her dessert. She scooped a far more careful portion out of the cup. The tastes were far more livid than before. There was no brainfreeze or other pain and unlike before she could taste the bittersweet taste of what had caused her so much pain.

“Hey, this is good.” Kaili chimed as she continued to eat her dessert. Time passed, the rest of it was finished and not long after that it was time to leave. The two girls remained seated for a while. The bill was paid and with that there really wasn’t enough of a reason to stay anymore and the two girls left. The stars were out, not a single cloud in the sky. The moon brought a certain atmosphere to the entire neighborhood as it glimmered in the waves of the ocean.

The duo proceeded down the road towards Kaili’s home.

“Moonlit walks on the beach.” Kaili stated out of nowhere and chuckled. “I had a good time tonight, thank you Allyson.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Her hand was held as they walked towards the shop, everything felt right while they walked even after Kaili’s little snap of anger. She noticed it, but thought it was a better idea to not comment on it especially how quick it faded. Either way, she had a feeling she’d see it again soon enough. The stars were bright on the beach, she hadn’t noticed yesterday because they were inside most of the night. Seeing them, reminded Allyson that she had been grounded for a few days now. Usually there would be an itch to go back up, but for now she was content with what was going on.

Her reason for being planet side was holding onto her hand and finally spoke. Hazel eyes pulled from the stars as Allyson looked down to watch Kaili talk, the girl held onto her and she smiled. “The sky always looks better on a planet, especially one with a beach. Reminds me of Corellia.” A part of her died on the inside from mentioning Corellia, but what was really killing her was the fact that the girl that held her affections was next to her, holding her hand and yet there was nothing Allyson could do to convey how she felt.

As much as she wanted to, Allyson fought every urge to lean closer to Kaili. She continued to hold her hand and remind herself of the rejection from earlier. That moment and rejection weighed on her chest as she continued on towards the shop. Knowing that Kaili wasn’t ready for what Allyson wanted, kept the girl grounded and didn’t let her give into her feelings. Looking towards the water and how it reflected the moonlight against Kaili’s blonde hair, Allyson felt herself begin to lose it again. “The moon, it’s…it’s so beautiful…” [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

“I never went there.” Kaili interjected, sounding as respectful as she could. Corellia was her weak spot. The way her entire posture seemed to hunch for just a second gave it away. The dejection of her knowing what had happened to Corellia weighed heavy in the mood in general. Kaili squeezed her friend’s hand just a little tighter to make her know that she was there for her. Maybe not in the way that she had laid it out on the table for Kaili to know, but as a friend. “We don’t have to talk about it. Or about anything.” The kid squeezed Allyson’s hand again. “Just let the moon light our path as we make way towards home.”

Which was exactly what happened. The duo didn’t really speak again until there was more distance back between them and the restaurant than between the two girls and the shop.

“It’s lovely.” Kaili agreed with her friend. Her eyes met with Allyson’s. They were in that zone again. “No.” She felt the guilt wash over her as she withdrew her gaze from Allyson’s. “Not now.”

It wasn’t right. Kaili knew how the other girl felt, yet she kept on... Tempting her. It wasn’t a conscious choice, but that felt like it mattered little. To withdraw like she did felt horrible, like a crime against some sort of unwritten ‘Code of Love.’

“I’m sorry.” Kaili frowned. “I just-...”

“Not yet.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

“I know” Allyson watched as Kaili looked away from her, she knew where this was headed and did them both a favor and stopped it before one of them, specifically Allyson got hurt again. She could feel the strain on the hand holding, their palms separated, but their fingers remained intertwined. Letting the space come between them, she felt worst, but better at the same time. It was a difficult emotion to feel, but she felt it. A cooling breeze blew from the ocean and calmed Allyson; it allowed her to think a bit more clearly now that the tension that was building up was cut short.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about Kaili, we’ve just met and things have been happening so fast. I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m sure you’re right there with me.” Smiling, she sighed softly and shrugged. “You just have a better sense not to lose yourself.” Looking back towards the blonde girl at her side, she closed the distance between them despite it still being close enough to hold hands – she wanted to be closer. “You’re saving the both of us.” Allyson knew what happened in these sorts of cases, she had been in them several times. What she felt, she didn’t know if it was love or just lust – either way it was something strong – strong enough to keep her planet side.

“I don’t know what it is that draws me to you; I just know that I’m drawn. I want to know what makes me feel this way and I won’t be able to unless I can think clearly. I’m just not strong enough to say no, you are though and I thank you for it.” If they followed Allyson’s usual pattern, she would be leaving here and never look back – she wanted to know Kaili beyond a physical nature. There was something about her and Allyson wanted to know everything about the girl. Nodding, she reassured herself. “No is good. Because when we figure things out – it will only be for the better.”

Even if it means I remain only your friend…[member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

“You deserve something better.” Kaili sighed as she reaffirmed her grasp within her friend’s hand. “But I have spent months inside a workshop trying to work through...” Kaili stopped herself. Allyson didn’t have to know. Not yet. “Something. It’s going to take a while.”

Kaili led the two of them towards their destination, Kaili’s home. The streets had started to clear out and take on a far more desolate form. It felt almost like a mirror image of the way Kaili felt within. Utterly destroyed, broken down. Allyson could claim that it was for the better that the girl said ‘No’ but that didn’t mean Kaili herself would believe it. She could still feel that torment within Allyson, who seemed as equally confused as Kaili was.

“Getting late,” Kaili spoke as she inserted the keycard into its slot. The door opened and the two of them stepped into the workshop. “Might be time to call it a day.”

Somber mood. Kaili didn’t like this. “Maybe some rest would do both of us some good.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson nodded in agreement on the fact that it’s getting late. She didn’t protest about needing / deserving something better. The mood shifted from happy to something less happy and Allyson sighed. She had meant for the explanation to make Kaili feel better, but it seemed to have done the opposite. Entering the home, Allyson started by taking off her shoes and then heading into the refresher for a quick wash up for bed. Clothes changed and everything clean she left and stood by the couch she had called a bed for the night before.

“Kaili.” Allyson started as she began to try and make the couch comfortable. “I don’t want anything else. I want to see what this is.” It was all she said as she crawled into bed on the couch. Blankets pulled up to her chin as she sighed and thought of the most comfortable place in the world. It was the best she could do without putting more pressure on Kaili.

In the end, she knew she couldn’t just stop what or how she felt. She needed to know what this was, what it was like to be with Kaili. Answers were there, but they were cryptic for the time being. [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

Head bobbing up and down. Kaili gave way for a slow nod. Allyson would be there and together they would be looking at what it was that they had stumbled into. Something weird, that much was certain. Something that made the young kid feel a lot more unsure about who she was. She wouldn’t say she was caught off-guard by who Allyson was as much as she was terrified about quick it had happened, and how fast it all unraveled. She would have lied if she said she wasn’t afraid of where it could be leading, a thought she took with her to bed.

While Allyson was in the refresher Kaili took the time to get changed. There was time for a shower later, right now all she needed was time. Time to think and time to calm herself down.

“Goodnight, Ally.” The kid feigned a smile before creeping back into her little sleeping compartment. Her coffin, if you would.

Only it proved hard to fall asleep. The shutter to her bed kept Allyson from seeing her toss for each second that passed. A second turned into a minute, a minute into an hour. The night turned to midnight and only then would the mind come to rest. Not because it strove for it, but because of exhaustion. With eyes wide shut Kaili laid almost stagnantly awake, dozing off into a shallow slumber in which the only real comfort was the energy she would regain.

In a callback that was getting old she felt the discomfort of a familiar nightmare creep up on her. She was there again. Blood on her hands, in her hair, across her entire torso and her legs. The thin lifeless body of Maila. Only something felt weird. This wasn’t the same ship as Kaili had crashed. This wasn’t Maila. A blood-soaked hand grabbed a hold of the person’s arm, gently placing it across the lifeless stomach and leaving a bloodprint in the shape of one small hand. She sobbed, shivered. With her eyes closed she drove her hand through the brunette hair. Eyes opened to peer deep into hazel eyes and...

Kaili twitched back to life, back into reality. She was still shaking. An unsteady hand lifted the shutter, but she didn’t manage. Her hand slumped down against the hard edge of her coffin and before she knew it she found herself curled up and wrapped around her covers as if she was still on the ship, still cradling her friend’s lifeless body. There were tears running along the surface of her nose and down her cheeks. Soft shaky sobs that would speak for the pain she found herself in.

The new day couldn’t come soon enough.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Sleep was rough, she couldn’t stop her mind from thinking things over. Was Kaili trying to tell her something last night? Like, ‘this won’t happen how you want it’ among other things like that. Allyson wondered if it was meant to discourage her from pursuing and waiting for the blonde. Ally sighed, if that’s what she was trying to get at, it was only for her own good. Frowning, Allyson was stubborn and knew that Kaili somewhere felt the same for her as she felt for her. Something was just stopping her and holding her back.

With this thought Allyson fell asleep and continued to sleep on the hard couch until early dawn. She shifted out of bed and changed quickly into running clothes. She needed to clear her head from the thoughts of the night before. Dawn cracked open and she left the quarters for a short jog along the beach. There she was able to clear her mind and take in everything that Kaili had said and done. There was something there and that was enough for Allyson to hold and wait. The wellbeing of the other was important and it was just a start. The ramblings from the kiss they shared on the beach returned to Allyson, Kaili said she wanted to, but couldn’t. Sighing softly as she made her way back to the dwelling, it was enough. That was enough to keep her coming back for the torment of her situation.

Walking back into the sleeping area, soft sobs chimed in and Allyson removed the sweater she wore and tossed it onto the couch. She continued to listen the best she could and realized that Kaili was crying for some reason. Most likely a nightmare and with the Coffin there was no way for Ally to comfort the girl. Seeing the latch that seemed like it could open, she carefully did so. The least she could do is slip her hand in for Kaili to grasp or something. Sliding her hand in, her fingertips brushed against blonde hair. Fingers bushed through Kaili’s hair as she was stuck in the nightmare, it was the best comfort for the time being that Allyson could provide. She spoke quietly, but doubted that Kaili could hear her “It’s going to be okay Kai, I’m here for you…” [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

“You died.” Kaili whispered back. “Everyone died again.”

“Micah, Mara, Mira, Ibaris, Liam and... You.” She still shivered. Her eyes had been left wide open for a while. They itched and they burned, but she refused to close them. Shut eyelids meant she could fall asleep, and sleep meant the nightmare would be back. It hadn’t happened in a while, but here they were. With a rapid blink she let her eyes rest for only a few seconds. Her cheeks started to dry up, her nose stopped sniveling. “There is no one. Everyone dies. Everbody.”

“Just me. My fault. I shouldn’t have. I was foolish. I knew the risks. I knew about the curse. I knew what would have happened.” The kid continued to ramble in a hushed, panicked whisper. “I should have died in the crash. It should have been me.”

“It should have been me.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Fingers continued to stroke Kaili's hair, the girl was dealing with the trauma that she had briefly spoken about. Was this the reason she was so careful? Allyson didn't pry into things for that reason. It would be selfish, but she did want to know. Instead of questioning, she went with the assumption and left it at that. A part of her wanted to rip open the coffin, pull Kaili out and try and hug her till she realized that she was important. She couldn't though, the coffin like bed capsule was in the way.

It hurt her to the core to hear that the girl that had suddenly become a huge part of her world say that she should have died. If that would have happened, Allyson would still be alone, still searching for something that no longer existed and in the end they would have never found each other. Another hand placed itself over the capsule and Allyson sighed shaking her head, "Kaili, you survived for a reason don't say things like that. You did the best you could I know that." Still not really knowing what happened, Allyson did her best.

"If...If you would have died, I would have never met you...I would have never found someone like me..." She wanted to hold her somehow, "I'm here and so are the others - please Kaili don't say things like that...I'm..." She paused and gave in. "I'm happy you survived...and that I got to meet you..." [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

Kaili just laid still in her bed. The tears had stopped and dried up, but the sobbing hadn’t. She felt pathetic, selfish. She shouldn’t cry, she had no right to cry. People had told her time after time again to stop blaming herself, but it was hard. Harder than they would think. Kaili slid herself out of the coffin. One foot touching ground after another and she hunched over from the sheer lack of drive to do anything.

“I know.” Kaili exhaled. “I know.”

“But all those lives lost. Because of me.” That fact still remained. “I wasn’t good enough, Allyson. And now they’re all dead.”

There was still that slim hope that Allyson wouldn’t follow what Kaili was saying. She didn’t want her to know, it made things easier. It was better to just assume the weight of her problem by herself. Yet another really hoped she would understand. She was tired of being alone, but she wasn’t willing to let anyone in. She was a hurricane of mixed emotion based on nothing more than the fact that she didn’t trust herself. She had no reason to, either.

“Look, I’m sorry you had to see that.” Kaili didn’t look at Allyson. The shame forbade it. Instead she just stood up and approached the kitchen. “Can we pretend that never happened?”

Dull voice, dejected beyond the day before yesterday. “It’s better that way.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Nodding, Allyson stood up with her and followed towards the Kitchen. They both had the same emotions, they both had the same guilt, but they dealt with it in different ways. Closing her eyes, Allyson wondered if sharing her past was wise, she had hinted at it and knew that Kaili didn't press the issue out of respect. Allyson would do the same, but she felt that revealing her past allowed Kai to not feel alone.

"You and I... We have the same guilt..." Allyson trailed off, talking about this was never easy and more so she never really talked about it. Not even to Ember, who when it happened just got the nod and the request to return home - nothing more. "I was on a holocall with my dad. A few days prior. He begged me to come home. I refused and we fought. On that day, he called me again to ask that I come home, mom was ill and he needed my help. Again I complained and said no." Shaking her head, Allyson refused to cry. "In the middle of the call my dad suddenly looked scared, I can still see his face. I heard screams and he told me that he was proud of me and that he loved me...then everything went silent."

Fists were made at her side as her shoulders tensed, she was more angry than sad about the ordeal. "After everything I convinced myself to go back. Join the survivors and help get anyone that was still alive out. Also recover the bodies to give them a proper memorial. I knew my dad was dead, he was at the epicenter. But I had hope for my mom and brother." There were no details, just a defeated girl in front of Kaili. "My mom and my brother were sick, they were too weak to survive the collapse of our apartment building. I found them, brought their bodies out of the rubble. I should have been there to help them get out. Maybe they'd be alive. I don't know, but I know how you feel...I've lost everyone."

Sighing softly, Allyson nodded. "I know what you feel like Kaili, I really understand" [member="Kaili Talith"]

 

[Kaili Talith]

Kaili had known, but she had not known what. The pain had been there like a silenced white noise; you didn’t hear it until someone pointed it out. And when someone pointed it out, it was all you could hear. Kaili didn’t know what to say at first. She knew exactly how Allyson felt, yet even then she couldn’t for the life of her figure what to do. She understood, albeit for another reason. Whereas Allyson had lost her entire family, Kaili had lost anything but family. Her hand extended itself to grab a hold of Allyson’s. She pulled her closer until eventually Kaili’s head landed on her friend’s shoulder.

There was no need for words. Kaili merely let Allyson know in her own way that she understood. They both understood, and that was good enough. That was all they needed. At this point it would be hard to just pretend this conversation had never happened. They were both far too involved.

Swaying back and forth Kaili simply embraced her friend. There was little else she could, would or wanted to do.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

[SIZE=10pt]Nothing was said, there was no pity party or words that would just frustrate Allyson. The other girl did exactly what Allyson needed and that was just understand. No one had done that when it first happened. She had to figure things out on her own, handle her parents’ assets and prepare their memorials. That lingering feeling of being alone was pushed from her mind for the time being, because at this moment she wasn’t alone anymore. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]She was stiff when Kaili had pulled her into the hug. It was more out of shock than anything, but slowly Allyson felt her body relax and accept the hug. Arms would work their way around the smaller girl’s frame as a hand rested on the back of the other’s head for a moment and then slid down resting in the middle of Kaili’s back. A squeeze and Allyson sighed softly, it was funny how easily they could read each other. For the most part, Allyson felt it was a good time to reveal to Kaili that there were more similarities between them than originally thought and Kaili knew exactly how to respond. Closing her eyes, Allyson nodded and leaned into the hug resting her head near the blonde girl’s ear. Her voice quiet, Allyson spoke to Kaili.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]“Thank you, I…I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone…you don’t have to do this or anything alone anymore.” [member="Kaili Talith"][/SIZE]

 

[Kaili Talith]

“Neither do you.” Kaili moved herself up on her toes ever so slightly to reach Allyson’s cheek. Lips planted themselves on the smooth surface of her skin. It was mainly a sign of appreciation, of understanding. “When we’re ready.” Kaili whispered. “Until then I am here for you too.”

Her head went back to resting on Allyson’s shoulder. Two days wasn’t a lot. Two days was the amount of days it took for couples in movies to fall in love only to break apart in a few months. But luckily enough this wasn’t love, at least not yet. At least not according to Kaili. They were close friends with a deep connection that drew them together. They understood each other and they trusted one another to not abuse that. And yes, that felt weird to say after merely two days, but neither of them had let the other in on the entire package yet, there were no way for them to know about the real secrets they held.

No, those were held back, and with good reason.

“I’m not letting go.” Kaili spoke into Allyson’s shoulder. “You first.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

[SIZE=10pt]The kiss burned against her cheek, even after Kaili had pulled away. Allyson could still feel the girl’s lips against her skin and she craved it more than ever. Fighting every urge to respond to it, Allyson nodded. It was confirmed beyond what she had originally thought, she would wait there was something more than just friendship here – she felt it and she knew deep down Kaili felt it as well. She clung onto Allyson, and Allyson gave her a tight squeeze. She didn’t want to let go either, but they had to part eventually. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Parting out of necessity, Allyson let her hands slide down the slender arms of the girl that had clung to her. Hands ending up holding Kaili’s and she smiled. She wanted it to move to the next level, but knew the waiting was done for Kaili. Something held her back and from what happened that morning, Allyson figured it was that fear that prevented the girl from falling. She would wait and allow her to make the advances. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]“I didn’t want to let go, but if I didn’t, we’d be stuck there all day because you would turn it into a competition.” Allyson stuck her tongue out at the Talith girl and then let go of her hands. She slid towards the counter and smirked. “I got dinner last night, so it’s only fair that you make breakfast.” Leaning on the counter she whispered from the corner of her mouth towards Kaili, “Also I heard that you’re quite the cook.” Leaning back away from the girl she grinned. [member="Kaili Talith"][/SIZE]

 

[Kaili Talith]

The observation wasn’t out of character for Kaili. At one point it may very well have turned into a competition in endurance, but at the moment when they separated that felt highly unlikely. Merely glad to not be the one that had to take the initiative. For a moment longer they remained holding hands. Yet even that came to an end. Kaili sighed in mixed relief as she leaned back on the edge of the kitchen table. Her hands grabbed the cold metal outline and her palms planted themselves against the plastic fake wood panel.

She still felt shaky from the events that had transpired. The fear was real, but it was stilled. Her eyebrows perked at the request for breakfast. She had almost forgotten it. Short-term memory being the mess it was.

“Oh, uh, right.” Kaili snickered. A small lopsided grin tugged at her lips. “Well, I can always give burning the pan another go.”

Kaili laughed as she pushed herself off of the table’s edge and walked over to the fridge to withdraw the same items as last time. Eggs and all your essential what-nots.

“Something tells me you’re not half-bad at cooking yourself, you know.” The kid mused as she started preparing the ingredients for potential disaster. “You practically did all the work the other day.”

“Learn that on the ship? I figure with all the travel you get done you must find some pretty rare and exciting ingredients every now and then?”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

[SIZE=10pt]“My mother taught me.” Allyson shrugged. “It was something women did and the men went off to work. Backwards thinking.” Allyson stuck her tongue out at Kaili. “There’s only so much you can do on the ship though, nothing beats a full fledged kitchen.” Remembering the morning before, Ally snickered and covered her mouth for the most part. They had decided to go out for breakfast after Kaili had tried to cook sauce pans. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Wanting to watch, Allyson remained close to the kitchen with her arms crossed. “I like my pans over medium by the way.” It was a joke she couldn’t help but make. She wondered if that quick temper would flare suddenly now that she had teased her about the day before and its cooking intentions. Allyson lingered for a moment and then peered over at the table. She thought she’d be out of the way there and wen to sit down and wait for breakfast. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]“Thanks again Kaili, for not digging into my past and letting me just say it. It feels better to be able to talk about something like that without someone trying to pull it out of me.” Running her finer against the table, she nodded. “Today what do you feel like doing? Wanna explore the island a bit?” [member="Kaili Talith"][/SIZE]

 

[Kaili Talith]

Kaili didn’t think much on the way Allyson had learned how to handle a kitchen. It worked, and she wasn’t spreading that particular type of backwards thinking herself, so that just made it all the better. Kaili too stuck her tongue out to blow raspberry at Allyson’s joke.

“Too bad, you’re getting it flat-side up.” She remarked while knocking an egg against the side of the pan. “I don’t think sticking our noses in each other’s business is what either of us want to do. Didn’t work too well for my therapist, and she truly tried. It just feels... Weird. Like, why would I tell this woman anything? At the end of the day she cares more about getting paid to listen to me than to actually help me, you know?”

“I guess what I am trying to say is; I’d never trust someone who gets paid to just listen.” Kaili shrugged and cracked another egg against the pan and deposited it in the pan. “She could tell anyone what I tell her, I don’t want that. I want to know that when I tell someone something, it stays between them and me.”

Cream was added to the pan and the girl proceeded to stir it around. Salt and pepper was added for good measure.

“In the end, what am I supposed to say anyway?” Kaili continued to stir as she placed the meat strips in a second pan. “There is nothing that they can do that will make me feel better. Nothing they can just... Say that will make the hurt go away.”

“I let the people I trust in on it, because at the end of the day, they are the only ones who would truly care about what I say.”

“... And considering I am now your master, I guess that puts you on the list by default, don’t it?”

“... Apprentice.”

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson blinked she had become mesmerized by the cooking Kaili had been doing. Her explanation about talking to someone that you trusted made sense. She never told anyone what she had seen or how she felt about he entire thing. Ember for the most part just understood her as being angry. There was no therapist for her, danger and one night stands played that part.

Of course, Ally wasn't going to reveal her nightly excursions to Kai, not just yet. "I get it, I didn't see anyone and you're the first person I told about what I saw. All of that was how I earned my blood stripes. I didn't want them, but I knew my dad would want me to wear them. Brought honor to the family you know, least I could do." Kaili had pulled the master card on her and this of course made Allyson grin. Doors were open and she was going to use them.

"Master, I do trust you and i hope you can continue to trust me..." She meant it, she didn't want to lose Kaili's trust. Still, it was curious that she brought this up and figured it was her form of a retort for the pan joke. "Master, since you bring up our titles, does this mean we are training today?" Smirking, she sighed with a dreamy sort of sound. "You're the best Master." [member="Kaili Talith"]