P A N [D E M O N] I U M
I'm not here so you can knock me down, again
Don't wanna hear what you got to say
Your little world is not for me
And I don't believe everything you see
It's not really what I appear to be
How can I get the message through to you?
You try to break me down, I wanna clear my mind
I know now is my time
You're drawn to suffering, I wont give anything
I got nothing to hide
I've been waiting for this moment
Your lies that I can see right through
Things have moved around, you can't hold me down
The tables have turned
Ket quietly listened to all that was being said, from those gathered to him, among themselves, all of it. He sighed a bit. This was so much harder than he could have imagined. None of them really seemed to understand exactly what happened to him out there. What the true nature of his madness really was, what prison he had finally crawled out of after centuries upon centuries of seeing through the looking glass of his own eyes, yet unable to shut them to the horrors Ahroun committed. Unable to shut his ears to the screams of so many that died at his own hands, unable to fight back the darkness that Ahroun kept focusing inward to beat him down into the prison of his own mind. He did not want to speak of such things so blatantly to them like this, and thought that by laying that amulet at his feet, they would understand. Yet, all of them were so clouded by their own emotions and feelings, by the rule of law and proper procedure, of turning a blind eye without getting to the root of the situation, that he was once again being beaten back into a prison cell with not a single ounce of compassion. He should have been used to this by now, shouldn't he? And so, he simply sat down, cross-legged, and looked upon the amulet that lay there on the floor in front of him, the yellow glow powerful within the crimson crystal.
He stared at that amulet good and long before he spoke again. Yet this time, there were no undertones of being anything other than the man he'd been inside for ages, aching to be released. As he began to speak, no anger could be felt from him, nor heard in his voice. No, if anything, frustration. He wasn't perfect, he was simply human.
"THAT is real." he said, pointing to the amulet. "This is no new name, Kian. It is MY name. I am NOT him. He is not ME. We are not two halves of one coin. We are separate and wholly different in every conceivable way. You all sit there, and you judge me because you feel no guilt from me. I have done nothing wrong save not being strong enough to stop him myself. The Sith Lord known as Darth Ahroun did those things, every last one of them. You condemn me because you only see me as one man. I came here to try to give absolution for his crimes, to give the galaxy a sense of justice over him. None of you know anything of true pain, of being enslaved for near a millennia behind your own eyes, with no way to break free. Not a single one of you know the pain of the Darkness as I do..."
And as he felt that human nature to be angry with those who could not see past their own vision, he felt something. Something familiar, something that began to calm him once more. He had spoken the truth in every single word he'd said thus far. All of it. He was trying to atone for what Ahroun had done, for that was the only way he knew to give those whom Ahroun hurt the justice they sought. Yet, he remembered her words, in that lonely desert, among the stars and night sky, as the flames flickered off their faces and she began to somehow give him the strength he needed to finally fight back, to regain himself and his existence once more.
"...Coryth...I...have tried...and yet again...I fail. Force forgive me..."
In that moment, he began to cry, but he made no sound. His hands simply slid over his face as elbows propped up on knees, and he silently prayed to the Force to guide him as the tears fell through his fingers. He needed that guidance more than ever, now.
[member="Coryth Elaris"], [member="Kiskla Grayson"], [member="Corvus Raaf"], [member="Kian Karr"], [member="Avalore Eden"], [member="Hal Terrano"], [member="Kana Truden"]