Three years and a lifetime ago

[Silfe Sosuri]

She had been surprised when her head had not hit the wall but had somehow gently been kept from doing so. And she saw in the woman's eyes that she was frustrated Silfe had not yet succumbed. This also meant that she redoubled her efforts though double wasn't the word for how much she increased the pressure. Silfe had had an entire lifetime of building her walls in order to protect herself from her father. There were layers upon layers of them. Some protected just herself, and some, deep inside and hidden in her deepest darkest places, was her inner most soul. It wasn't a conscious building of walls, but the kind that any abused child would build automatically to keep themselves from shattering completely. She screamed in defiance and frustration and pain until she was too hoarse to do so, but eventually even her hard won defenses could not outlast the dedicated onslaught of a Sith.

She finally broke, her outer walls shattering to dust. Suddenly she felt far too exposed, far to vulnerable even in this tiny cell. The pain was like burning, searing into her in a rush. Pandeima had succeeded at last.



[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

Through the gaping holes in Silfe's mental defenses, Vanessa flowed in, smiling as she continued to reap the bounty. Here were all her traumas, all her weaknesses. How her mind was wired - here was at last the secret behind what made the woman tick. Vanessa used her power over Silfe's body not to do something excessive, but to stimulate the pleasure centers of her brain. With minimal resistance to Vanessa's probing ensuring the sensation of pain and overwhelming pressure in her mind would relieve itself, only returning if she tried to further resist, she would begin to feel a sense of pleasure as serotonin and dopamine were released, binding to her neurons.

Vanessa would come over and give Silfe a gentle embrace. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. Just open up and let me know everything, and more of those sensations can be yours."

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

The intense relief she felt the moment her walls were broken and Vanessa came in, was overwhelming. All the strain and tension of muscles in her effort to fight the onslaught against her walls fell away. Silfe felt light headed and leaned in automatically to Vanessa's embrace. For a while, Silfe could do nothing as her body and mind tried desperately to recover from her physical exertion. Plenty of her walls had fallen, revealing a good majority of her surface thoughts, her daily memories, some of her father's abuse but not the worst of it, her suspicions about her father murdering her mother, her fear of an arranged marriage should her father get his hands on her again, her job and how much she loved Commenor, her friends and how much she cared for them. But there was still walls and hidden places in her mind.

"I don't want you to know everything," she said at last in a small whimpering voice. She could feel herself getting a little back. It felt so much better than the pain, but she knew it was an illusion. People like Pandeima liked inflicting pain and eventually the pain would come again... it always did. She knew better than most, having been abused all her life. "You don't deserve it...he doesn't deserve it. Gods!" she cried softly in the embrace, "Just kill me and be done with it."


[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

Vanessa ceased the pressure on Silfe’s mind - for now the young woman knew that Vanessa could enter as she pleased. It would take more work to break through everything Silfe had, but much of her mental defenses were in shambles. She stayed there and continued to gently hold and cuddle with Silfe, supporting the woman even as she further broke down. Giving Silfe’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, she smiled - it was so wonderful watching whatever had been of this woman slowly starting to be stripped away, revealing a liquid-like core ready to be reformed in Vanessa’s own image.

“I’m not going to kill you physically. Silfe. But what you are now? That will die.” She replied. “I can’t let you continue living the way you do now. But the person I reshape you into will be a better person than you are now.” She couldn’t help but smile, holding Silfe close. “We’ll be headed to an old establishment of mine soon. You’ll have better quarters than this, and I’ll have better tools to help me reforge you.”

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Silfe wanted to move away. The woman disgusted her after all, but she couldn't move with her body so drained. She didn't understand why this woman was willing to erase everything Silfe was for her father except money. No way did Silfe want to lose all the independence and hard won life she had lived since getting to Commenor. ALl the memories of the last few years were important to who she was now. She had had outbursts of independence and strong will sometimes when she was younger, but her father always beat it out of her. Now, he couldn't do that. She knew a better lfie.

"If you want someone like I was when I lived with my father you will be sadly disappointed. She was weak, demure, boring, sad. Just get yourself a robot. You will be more satisfied." She said, a hint of her defiance back as her body relaxed without pain.

[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

“Docile, polite, respectful, and dependent were what I was told you would need to become. We can certainly make you more docile by preventing these cases of self harm - you simply need to let me in when I try to come in, and don’t try to hurt yourself. I would consider that an undesirable trait to possess regardless as to what specifications I’m essentially remanufacturing you into.” She sighed. “Respectful is certainly something else you could become. Polite too. Dependent... I doubt I’ll ever truly get you dependent, but we shall see.”

Her pain receptors would flare in response to her resistance. “Inappropriate behavior brings pain. Appropriate behavior brings pleasure. And you want to experience pleasure, don’t you?” A small hint of pleasure would flow into the woman’s system. “It’s the right thing to do and say. That’s why it feels so good when you do it.”

This was going to be quite interesting.

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

She didn't want to be any of those things for her father, much less this stranger. Yet she could tell there was this iron will in the woman and her fight would be a hard one. She also had where she acknowledged, in the smallest measure, that she might not win this fight. Pandeima would not let her kill herself, but it wouldn't stop her from trying. Silfe was smart. She would do what she could to find a way.

Before her mind could go on however, a sharp sense of pain in her mind caused her to gasp aloud and writhe in Pandeima's embrace. She let out a sob, understanding that her sass had been the cause of Pandeima's irritation and thus her pain. It soon left, replaced by a pleasing sensation which elicited a moan. It was a release to no longer feel that pain and in its place, feel pleasure. She had to struggle to hold on to herself so that she didn't give her captor more reaction.

"If it's money you want, I can pay more than my father, with the help of Commenor. Surely Lady Kay would pay you for my return." she pleaded as she looked up into the woman's face.

[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

“Oh, I do need the money - and I can assure you that your father’s funds were more than useful - but that really isn’t the reason why I’m going to keep working on you. See, breaking someone down and rebuilding them is an experience that I very rarely get to enjoy - in fact, only twice before have I done it. And your Lady Kay can’t offer me anything even remotely comparable to the sensation of an experience like this.”

She patted Silfe’s head. “But I appreciate the pleading. It certainly is worth savoring.” A hand continued to run over the woman’s tresses. “Now please... just relax and open yourself wholly to me.”

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Her words were like ice to Silfe's heart. Every single one a nail in the coffin that was her hope. The hand running over her hair was supposed to be reassuring but to Silfe it was a caricature of care. The only reason Pandeima cared about her was as a subject for her experiment. It renewed her struggle against her captor though and she shook her head in a vehement NO. Silfe closed her eyes knowing what came next.

[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

The pressure would slowly resume as Vanessa’s presence would slowly creep against Silfe’s lower layers of mental defenses. Vanessa smiled as she already began to work on touching some of the outlying memories she already had access to, taunting them and altering them so her prey would remember a different life the next time she thought about such things. Vanessa only further held Silfe close and embraced the woman as she continued pouring herself into her prey, pounding at the inner barriers protecting the memories she wished to reshape.

“Don’t be afraid, Silfe. By the time I’m done you’ll be thankful for having my help.”

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Memories.... Its what made Silfe herself. She could feel them being stripped away and changed. Somewhere, deep inside her, a part of her locked away the very smallest fragment of the real Silfe, a key of sorts. It was the only protection she could give. Everything else would come to Vanessa's hands in due time, but this smallest part of her would remain hidden deep inside, seemingly benign and somewhat invisible.

A memory, her father hitting her in Kay's drawing room and Darlyn coming to her rescue after Alecard had hit her and sent her sprawling into a glass table.... shifted to become a scene where her father was taken away to be beaten by Darlyn for no reason other than Lady Kay wanted her minister.

Tea with Lady Kay... another memory, changing so that Lady Kay was now a dictator and slave driver in her mind.

Her father appointing her as Senator to Commenor. His abusive and manipulative words shifted to become prideful and happy to be sending his talented daughter off to begin her life and sadness that his little girl was finally leaving the nest.


Silfe shook violently, trying desperately to hold onto her memories. She grabbed the woman's shirt and looked up at her, terror in her eyes. "No! You cannot. He is a monster. STOP Please! "



[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

“No.”

She continued to press, penetrating into formerly sacrosanct portions of Silfe’s memories and corrupting them, blighting them with her very nature. She smiled, reveling in the pleasure of the experience as she did so. It was remarkable how wonderful it felt to know that she was destroying this woman and reconstructing her piece by piece.

“What you are now is, in a sense, pregnant with what you are supposed to be. Just relax, let yourself slip away, and let your true self be born from the ashes of the old.”

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Amber]

Wrong account

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

No was such a simple word but it meant so much loss to her. She closed her eyes against the pain and fought hard for the protection of so much of herself. Yet it did not end and her memories one by one shifting to an alternative before Vanessa. Walls fell one by one revealing more memories for Vanessa's hatchet job.

The memory of the date with Brad where he let her fly the speedweeks turned into him leaving with two women he found and leaving her stranded. The memory of her mother's death shifted to become a memory of her disobeying her father resulting in her own mother's death. The memory of being captured turning into her father rescuing her from Kay's foul clutches.

Slowly Silfe became the sum of these new memories praying that the small part of her would remain lost to both herself and Vanessa and maybe that would be her salvation.

Eventually She no longer had the energy to fight. The pain was too much and had been happening too long. There had been no rest, only the continued onslaught. For every moment a wall broke or memory changed, she felt waves of pleasure. For every moment she resisted, a wave of pain.

She knew the end was near, that her ability to hold off this change was coming to an end. She sought the pleasure now though she hated herself for it. The people who she loved were lost to her now and she was lost to them. There were no more tears to shed. She only thought to them, I'm sorry, as she stopped fighting and succumbed to the woman she was to become and embraced the pleasure.

[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

Vanessa embraced Silfe as the woman's mind was nearly turned. She was finally there, finally twisted into the visage of what Vanessa and her own father had desired for her to be. Vanessa knew these changes would need time to stay put, and as such once she had broken down every wall and reformed every memory, she went through the trouble of letting her captive sleep.

When Silfe would next awaken, she would find herself somewhere unfamiliar - a bed, comfortable as it was. She was in Vanessa's laboratory on Malachor V now - the Ablution was in orbit. A small mouse droid would bring her a plate of fine food if she wished for it as Vanessa would slowly enter into the room, eager to see whether or not she had succeeded in her attempt. Vanessa had done one thing - she knew that there was no means of controlling the woman forever, and had thus prepared the creation of an implant that would allow her father to directly control his daughter when she behaved or misbehaved through the stimulation of pain or pleasure portions of her brain.

"Wakey wakey, Silfe. You've had a long night."

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

Silfe felt like she had just slept a lifetime. When she heard Pandeima's voice. All the pain and pleasure memories were gone. She was just demure, kind, intelligent Silfe, the daughter of an extremely wealthy and influential man. Her dark eyes opened to see that she was in a medical facility.

She frowned and slowly sat up. Her eyes focused on the voice and smiled though she was a bit confused. There was recognition in her eyes and a warmth there bloomed. "Oh. Is everything alright? Have I worried everyone?"

 

[Onrai]

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

"You have." She said. "But it isn't an issue. I'll be taking you back to your father shortly. We're going to need to give you an implant to deal with a bit of damage to some of your neurons. We can get that done very shortly, if you want." Once this was installed and the controls provided to her father, it would be done - there would no longer be any way for the old Silfe to continue existing while the new one subsisted on a cocktail of chemical bliss and suffering. Truly it was a wondrous sensation, knowing that she had created life in a way.

"Would you like to do that?" She asked.

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

"Oh. I am sorry to worry anyone." At the mention of her father, she felt a little sick and touched her stomach. Soon though, it passed and she believed it was merely something residual from whatever had caused her to come to the medical facility. She looked around her and looked uncertain.

"Is it very necessary?" She looked to Pandeima wanting her guidance and trusting her friend implicitly. She notices her friend was so pretty and wondered why she had never noticed before. It made her smile a little.

[member="Vanessa Vantai"]

 

[Onrai]

“It’s not an issue.” Vanessa said, smiling. “It will be quick and painless, that I can promise.” The Sith Lord smiled as she went through the trouble of coming in the room and getting Silfe to the necessary medical table. What she had to implant was nothing complex - when she had the opportunity and Silfe was suitably seated, Vanessa would carefully inject the micro-sized implant into her, letting it settle on her spinal cord. She would have to wait a bit for it to properly settle.

“You have always looked quite nice, Silfe. It’s going to be a shame once I have to get back to regular work. I’ll be sure to visit regularly, that I promise.”

[member="Silfe Sosuri"]

 

[Silfe Sosuri]

She went willingly and sat down on the table so that the implant could be properly placed. Silfe was as docile as her father and Vanessa could have wished. Years and years of abuse were gone, the upside of the brainwashing. She was no longer haunted by her father. Some of her memories of Brad, Kay and many others were corrupted. She thought of them as horrible friends who had taken advantage of her good will.

She smiled up at Pandeima. "Do you have to go so soon? Surely father would welcome a friend to stay and allow a visit?" She looked hopeful.

[member="Vanessa Vantai"]