Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Time to Face What You Have Always Been (Tarissa)

Cora's head snapped around to glare at Tarissa. Angry might have been a small understatement. Already she was getting to her feet, with intentions to leave. "You have no clue about me, or what this is really about. And I don't expect you do understand. You simply couldn't be more wrong." She snapped harshly, her temper flaring and the temperature noticeable dropping in the room. "You don't know my story. You don't know why I cling to these dark thoughts. You know nothing." Cora growled. "And frankly I have no urge to explain this to you." The woman snapped as she started towards the door. The blonde after all had quite the temper on her and some subjects were more sore than others. This one, couldn't have been more touchy or personal. "It's not your business." The blonde said coldly before reaching the door, wanting to be anywhere but there.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


Tarissa remained as calm as ever when Cora's anger flared. Nor did the temperature change affect her. After all, she was a pyromancer. Unsurprisingly, the noblewoman was too arrogant to apologise. "Indeed. And you're not exactly forthcoming. If you wish to run from your past forever and be haunted by your demons, leave. It won't change that you're a Sciian. Farewell, Cora." Tarissa shrugged and turned her away. There were guards standing outside to escort the human off the premise. Perhaps also to intervene should her rage overcome her.
 
Cora shook her head, "For the record, you didn't ask. You assumed that you knew the source of my problems and why I am the way I am. You never questioned to the reasons behind it. You lecture, and preach religion and that's fine. Stars know I need a lecture or two. But don't judge me, until you know me. You never asked, nor has anyone else for that matter. Everyone wants me to change, to be someone else. But never once has someone asked why I cling to the past, and why I haven't been able to move on. Why I hide away all my pains. It's easy to leave the past behind, when that door is actually closed. For me it's not. And I can't move forward until I can close that door. But sure, kick me out after pissing me off. Touching on the sorest subject. You could have asked. You didn't. And that was your choice. You live in a black and white world, and this, is far more complex than that." Cora replied coldly, having seeped down into a darker place where it wasn't rage that coursed through her, but icy numbness. With that said Cora walked out the door of the shrine and into the hallway to leave.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


One of the guards would be waiting for Cora to lead her out of the villa, assuming she needed any help finding the way. For her part, Tarissa glanced over towards the statue of Ashira, then just shrugged and departed the shrine. You cannot close your door if you hide behind it.


It was still early in the morning and she had a lot of work to do. Running a noble house was a time-consuming affair and in her last years her mother had let a lot fall by the wayside. Moreover, the campaign to subjugate the Xioquo still needed to be prepared.
 
Cora said nothing more and let the guards lead her from the estate. The girl certainly was stubborn, prideful and a bit of a pain sometimes. It certainly didn't help how she hid everything that hurt her, from everyone around her. It took great force and persistence to get Cora to actually open up and admit to her emotional issues.

Still angry, she had no desire to visit anyone else. So she naturally returned to the villa and quietly snuck in the back door and up to her room. She sat down cross legged in the floor and pulled her guitar into her lap. Music was at least some comfort to her in times like these. It helped to calm her and bring her back to her center.

After a brief moment tuning the strings, she started a song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTYc_9QM7os

Just something to relax her and allow her to express her emotions the best way she knew how.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


Tarissa was off doing...whatever it was that pompous elf nobles did. Like lord it over minions, plot a purge or run her estate. All of that was probably quite important, but shall not detain us any further in this thread. And so it was time for her writer to give the other religious Eldorai, who unlike the Scion of House Cadalthor was not arrogant and racist, some screen time!


As chance would have it, Eileithya had already been at the villa for a while. For a change, she had not come because someone had been maimed or needed a near-fatal bullet removed. No, she had been discussing official business with Siobhan. To be precise, it had been about the Church of Light providing battle medics to aid the Firemane troops when the time came to attack the Xioquo. This would take place in a week or two. Likewise, they'd also be spearheading humanitarian relief efforts to help freed slaves. Well, it must be admitted that at some point they'd gone off-topic and...things had taken their natural course.


However, Eileithya could not help sense Cora's presence and anger. As Eileithya made her way to the blonde's room, she also heard the music the human was playing on a guitar. The Eldorai's tastes in music were less conservative than those of many of her peers, so it was quite nice for her ears. So she gave the door a soft knock. Hopefully things would not go too badly!
 
Cora had mostly been focused on the music, the song. She almost hadn't heard the knock on her door. She sighed quietly. The feeling she got wasn't that it was Siobhan on the other side but perhaps a closer friend to her, the priestess.

She stopped her song, still clinging to her guitar like an old friend. It was something like a safety blanket to her. "Come in." She said loud enough to be heard, and went back to strumming on her guitar but not singing, knowing she'd soon have a gust who no doubt would want to at least talk.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


The door opened slowly and Eileithya stepped in. "I knew you liked music but I didn't know you had that good a voice," she complimented softly. That was probably the most inoffensive way to initiate conversation. At least she thought so!


The Priestess was dressed in her usual homespun grey robes. She turned up her collar slightly when she realised that she had not been as successful at removing smears of lipstick as she thought! "I brought you tea," she added, holding a cup in her hand. There were a couple biscuits, too. Eldorai tea was best tea. Presumably Atrisians would disagree. There was a bit of a rivalry.
 
Cora smiled a tiny bit, but the unhappiness still was shining in her eyes. "Yeah, always played a bit. Love to sing. Thank you." She said quietly. It at least was a start getting her to talk.

Seeing the cup of tea, she finally set aside her guitar and reached out to take the cup. "I appreciate it." Ger voice was still a bit cold, and of course she still remained more than a little upset. Slowly she took a sip. Though right now she didn't offer up anything as to why she was upset.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


"Well, you're a better singer than I am! Participating in the church choir was always a bit awkward for me," Eileithya joked. She sat down on the blonde's bed. "It does not take empathy for me to figure out you're angry and upset. Do you want to talk about it now - or later?" Eileithya asked softly. She kept her tone gentle and measured.


If Cora was in too foul a mood and did not want to talk, she would not push for it since that probably would not go well. Feeling a bit self-conscious, she tried to rub the lipstick away from her neck. Siobhan was a bit too overly eager sometimes!
 
Cora managed a faint smile, "Thank you. You're really quite sweet." She then sighed so heavily as she heard Eileithya's next words. Talking she wasn't the best at when it came to thinks like this.

She wasn't eager to talk about what happened but it hardly seemed right to send the redhead away. One of the very few women she considered friend. "Yeah, upset, a bit for sure." Her voice so quiet, almost seeming a bit timid and uncertain as she spoke. "It's just Tarissa. She invited me to her home. For reasons, well, to be honest I'm not too certain of why exactly she invited me. The girl wanted to talk religion which I don't mind." She gave a shrug and leaned back against the wall, trying to relax just a little bit and let go some of her anger.

"It's complicated." She said as she gulped down her tea before setting the cup aside and resting her head in her hands. "We had a bit of a disagreement." Still not the most forthcoming but at least it was an attempt, some effort on her part to discuss what was bothering her,

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


There was a pause, then Eileithya sighed. "I appreciate you telling me," she spoke. "I imagine she had a perfect roadmap for how you could turn your life around and didn't see it as necessary to listen to you?" she asked rhetorically.


"You don't need to go into detail if you don't want to. I'm familiar with her. She's very driven...and also self-righteous and cruel. One of the reasons I'm happy to stay at the lowest levels of the Church. It's more about helping people here." Eileithya was very biased, but she could not stand Tarissa. The rumours said that the Young Cadalthor had framed her mother for thirty pieces of silver.
 
Cora sighed and nodded. For the most part Eileithya had it spot on about Tarissa. "She seemed to think so. And was of the mind that letting go of my past was just as simple as snapping my fingers. Nothing's ever that simple." Not with Cora, not with anyone really.

"Nevermind that she never bothered to ask what the deal was there. Who I was, or what I'd done and what I'd left behind. Those things matter. They can't just be swept under the rug like dust to be ignored." The young blonde, clearly wasn't happy. "I get I don't talk about these things, and I'm not open about it. So I don't make it easy to help me. I just trust seldom few people. And well, even fewer actually inquire as to my past, and why I hold on so tightly to it." Still being a bit vague, but she was trying.

She gave a shrugged and glanced out the window watching the people pass below in the streets for a moment. "I can't just simply move on to some new life. Not when there are some things I still cannot let go of, things I need to figure out and answers I need to find. But not only that, moving on, for the Stars sake, I'm caught somewhere between two entirely different worlds. A criminal past, and an uncertain future. I don't even know who I am this very second, much less how I'll fit into this future."

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


Cora's response was both informative and a bit vague. However, Eileithya felt she could fill in the blanks. She had to concede that Tarissa probably had a point because Cora did need to move on and pull herself out of her pit of fear and self-loathing.


Eileithya also believed that Cora was also in the pit because it was comfortable for her. However, she imagined that the noblewoman had delivered the message with a predictable lack of tact and empathy. Then again, she was not surprised. Tarissa was a preachey, self-righteous queen who thought she was Ashira's gift to the world. She'd gotten where she was by trampling on others and did not feel a shred of remorse for it.


Cora had done wrong and felt bad about it. That was the fundamental difference. Eileithya strongly doubted the duchess could understand the human's internal turmoil. "You cannot close the door and move out till you're ready," she said softly. That about summed it up in her opinion. "What are the answers you need to find?" She felt like cutting to the heart of the matter.
 
Cora sighed. "Yes. That." In that moment she honestly felt like crying. Though she was careful not to let a single sign of that show on the outside.

That one question melted away the rage and anger she felt. No, that faded into a mess of pain, sorrow, heartbreak and bitterness. "It's complicated. I'm not sure you'll understand. Or that anyone will for that matter." She sighed heavily, her eyes focused on things outside the window. Somehow it made it easier to not look Eileithya in the eyes to speak even vaguely about these things. "All I do know is that it matters to me."

Cora shrugged and for a few long moments said nothing more. Collecting her thoughts, debating how much she'd explain. After all, she'd never really talked about this, not like this. Not with anyone. She needed those moments. "My family," A pained sigh fell from her lips, "I've never really gotten past it. But not for the reasons you think." Again, she took a moment to collect her thoughts before speaking, "There's a million things about it that don't add up. Details that don't fit, as if someone dumped two separate puzzles into the same box and tried to force the pieces to fit." She shrugged, trying to brush off how much this pained her.

"I can't just let it go. Stars know I've done everything I can to just let it go. I want to so badly. But I can't do it. I have to know what happened. The real story. Not the one I've been told a thousand times. Not the mismatched bits I've found out there. I have to have the real story of my family's murders. I have to know. There's no chance of moving on, and I know it. Not until I've worked this out." Little did she know her own father was out there still alive, and played a key role in the deaths of the rest of her family line. A secret that might destroy her when Cora finally learned the truth. "I need closure, and I've never had that. And I think I really need it, more than anything."

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


"Oh, my dear Cora. My poor, brave girl," Abruptly Eileithya pulled the blonde woman into a hug, holding her close when she embraced her. The Priestess was an empath and so the waves of despair, heartbreak and bitterness affected her strongly. Viscerally. "You told me your family was butchered by the Sith monsters. But I believe there's more to the story than what you remember? Do you have any leads you can pursue, any clues to chase down?"


As similar as their life stories were, this was something Eileithya had not experienced, so expressing how sorry she was felt trite and misplaced. Instead she simply tried to help by holding the woman and stroking her hair gently. Obviously putting the pieces of the puzzle that was the true fate of the Passek family would be difficult, especially since so many years had passed.


Moreover, the régime that had allegedly killed them, the Sith Empire, no longer existed. However, its former heartland was under the control of the Silver Coalition, which might make things easier...if that was where clues could be found. But most Sith had fled to the Galactic Core.
 
Cora's eyes widened slightly as she was pulled into the hug. Her attention had been at something in the streets outside, and not in the room. She to say the least wasn't expecting being hugged. It took her a second to relax into it, and sighed quietly. "Assassins, yes." Her words quiet, cool, even. She seemed almost apathetic in tone, a way of distancing herself even just a small bit from her own pain by seeming not to care. But she did, more than she'd ever ever admit to. "I know there is more to the story. Elsewise what few records I did manage to get my hands on before the Sith Empire fell apart, would line up to what happened. However, they don't. They don't match with what few contacts I had there have said. Nothing lines up, and I have three or four stories of what happened and why."

Cora shook her head. "I never understood it. The claim that my mother and father were traitors and as a result of their plots the sith went all scorched earth on my entire family line. What I remember is scant little. I was just a teen, a girl really. I only remember my mother and father screaming, glancing through a small crack in my door, to see my sister butchered. And me? I managed to get away through an escape tunnel hidden underneath my bed. Went to our hanger to find more of my family, and servants included dead." She shuddered thinking back to the sheer amount of blood and bodies that night.

"In that world, that Empire there was some honor among Sith." At least that was what she had grown up to know among the Sith. It was a strange world to her, things odd and all and some ways were quite harsh but it was home. "There were a few butchers, monsters. True monsters. But very, very few that would butcher a child for no reason." There had to be a reason, some reason any reason.

"It, I ... My father, mother, weren't traitors. They'd both gotten too far up in the regime to be that without getting discovered earlier." She sighed heavily, "The files I have, looked at my family's murders as exactly that murders. They aren't listed as executions. Nor is there any statements in official documents listing them as such. Something else happened there. I just don't know what, or why."

One last sigh, "The files are all I have, and I've only got half of what's out there with those files. There's not much else I have to go on other than my gut instinct that tells me there is far more to this than I know. I need to find the other half, and work from there. I know it's been years. I know it might seem a fool's errand but I can't just walk away from this. And if in the end, I learn they really were traitors, then fine I can live with that. It's not like I'm friendly with Sith or give a crap about them any longer. They might have once had my loyalty, but that's not the case any longer." This was the very reason Cora had not spoken to her friends about this. She worried, feared that her loyalty would be called into question, and she'd be abandoned by them in the end.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


It was a painful, tragic story with no quick fix. Losing your family hurt, hurt so much. Even more so if you didn't truly know why it had happened. "Exterminating an entire family line down to the youngest child was rare even amongst the cruellest, most depraved Star Queens," Eileithya said. She had not lived in the Empire, but there were many Eldorai who could give the Sith pointers on viciousness. She'd experienced that firsthand in the Angelii's not so secret ghost prison.


"I'm sorry, dear. I'd help however I can...but I'm not investigator. Do you have an idea who you could enlist to help you? I know that your history with Mirien is very...troubled, but Siobhan is your friend and Mirien is very loyal to her. Moreover, Firemane has its own intelligence service." She had the feeling that Cora would be vehemently against that option and turn it down, but it was worth a shot. Otherwise Eileithya would have to think outside of the box. "Either way, if you're going on a quest you shouldn't run off without telling Siobhan. She wouldn't take it well and would be worried sick."
 
"Truth be told, I'm not sure how I'm even still alive after all this time. And I don't know, being the only one left, it doesn't feel like I should be here. Not without them." She missed them all, more than she could express. "But, I am." And lonely, even with all these people I'm lonely. If only I could let more people in, maybe I wouldn't be. Maybe things wouldn't be like this and I wouldn't have been trapped for all these years with Vahri.

Cora then shook her head, "No." All the people she knew, the few she trusted enough to be around, like Sio .. Even she didn't want to share this with them. She didn't want Siobhan to have to know at all. Which certainly made matters complicated. "And I can't share this with Siobhan. I'm afraid of her reaction. Mirien, absolutely not. I don't like the woman. I don't trust the woman. Further more, she shot me." Yep, Cora was still sore about that bit. Even if it happened to be for her own good.

"I don't really have many people I trust even a little left." Maybe, that's my own fault. No, it definitely is my fault. Her own worst enemy, that was certain. "Not many people I can turn to at all." Cora sighed, "I know I should tell Siobhan, and I'd worry her if I didn't. I just, I'm afraid. It's complicated. And I don't know if she'll understand, or be upset with me for doing this."

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]
 
[member="Cora Passek"]


Eileithya sighed. She was getting the impression that Cora's biggest problem was that she judged herself so harshly and expected everyone else to do the same, which created a devil's cycle. The young woman was her own worst enemy.


"Alright, leave Mirien out of this then," she said. "But if I were with you, I'd tell Siobhan something. Look at it this way, she's your friend and employer, you're living under her roof and she likes you a lot. I'd go so far to say she a lot of herself in you, back when she was younger. It would be a breach of trust if you just ran off without any word. As kind as she is...I don't think she'd take you back. You do not want to end up alone on a dark road again, do you? You're better off talking to her."
 

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