Time to Face What You Have Always Been (Tarissa)

[Cora Passek]

Cora sighed, hating the idea that Eileithya had a good point. Still, she didn't like the idea of doing so. It was going to be unpleasant, painful even. It was hard enough to share this once, without too much fear of being judged for it. With Siobhan she worried, a lot. She cared about her dear friend but it was hard for her to be open with anyone at all. She'd gotten far, with Sio, with Eileithya, much further than she'd allowed herself to get with anyone else in years. It was still taking time for her to open up completely, and truly trust.

"No, I don't." Cora said softly. Frowning, she leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. "I just, I don't want to be rejected. And I don't want her to think poorly of me. I don't want her to be angry with me. A sane person would let this go. Not follow it down, and just leave it be." She shrugged as she lifted her head. "But, I can't."

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Cora Passek"]


Eileithya nodded. Somehow, the older woman had the feeling that Cora would not like the truth if she discovered it. Of course, she was no prophetess, but you could call it intuition. "That is probably true, but nonetheless..."


However, she never got to finish that sentence because suddenly a certain redhead entered the room. "Almost no one in my family is sane. One of my daughters wants to go on an idealist monarchist crusade to save her planet from evil wizards. Another one of my daughters is pregnant with triplets after being knocked up by a minion of her evil father and is being pulled to the netherworld...and now one of my girls wants to go deep into Sith territory to find out why her family got killed. Another one of my girls is brooding a lot and wants to find out how she turned into a serial killer. Oh, and Elpsis got maimed again and wants to join a tribe of ultrafeminist, alchemically altered amazons. That's actually the most normal thing. My life is weird."


Eileithya was torn between patting Siobhan on the shoulder to calm her down and facepalmning. However, Siobhan's rant was not over. The Force Mistress was dressed in a blue satin robe, but still had tousled bedroom hair. Evidently she'd only gotten up recently. Otherwise a harem girl would have put her firemane in order.


"I need more freaking whiskey and sex," she looked rather crossly at Eileithya. Her blanket had been naughty and vanished. "All I want is a happy sapphic family where people tell me about their problems and we solve them. Well, that and lots of money, enslavement of all manlings, lots of titles and lots of worship," she took a breath.


"Right, where were we again? You think you didn't get the whole truth about why your family got butchered and want to go on a quest because the truth is out there? Said quest is probably gonna be incredibly dangerous and require you to do unpleasant things. Did I miss anything?"

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora cringed as she saw Siobhan appear. It was clear that she'd caught most of the conversation. A conversation she hadn't wanted her to hear or even know about. Clearly that wasn't an option she'd be getting this time. There was no running and no hiding the situation now. Maybe she has a point.

"I know I didn't get the whole truth." Cora said firmly. "It's complicated." Ah, yes back to somewhat vague. "I need to do this, close this chapter of my life. So maybe I can move on. I didn't want to worry you. I didn't ant you to judge me for the choice, especially considering the danger it could place me in." Though, this probably wasn't the most dangerous thing she'd have done, or the dumbest, or the most insane. There was a vague incident that involved streaking through a market place, getting far too drunk, being handed a robe from a Sith Lord, and nearly getting killed. Not necessarily in that order, or with the same people, but it definitely was on the same planet. That much at least she remembered. The rest, more than a bit fuzzy. That might have been the dumbest.

"I didn't know how to explain any of it." No, you just didn't want to do so. "Worried of what you'd think of my past, where I came from, and the choices I made then and the choice I'm making now."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"The first time you came to this place you had a Sith Lord spooking around in your head. We moved heaven and earth to exorcise him without killing you. Instead of, you know, suspecting this was all part of an evil plot blahblah. I almost got possessed by him. After all this time, I'd have thought you'd have more trust in me."


Siobhan was a very emotional woman and sounded a little hurt. She sat down on the bed and sighed. "I don't think this is a good idea. I think you'll be placing yourself in mortal peril, be forced to do bad things and mix with scum that deserves to die. You may not like what you find. But if you think it's worth it, ok." The unspoken but evident caveat was that if Cora ended up betraying Firemane and helping its enemies, Siobhan would treat her the same as any enemy. The Fire Order did not give third chances.

 

[Cora Passek]

"Trust, doesn't come easily to me. For the stars know a million and a half reasons." The blonde sighed heavily, "Of all the people out there, it's you and Eileithya that I've ever, ever let this close. I'm trying to trust. I'm... Well, I'm still learning how to trust. Coryth doesn't even have the kind of trust that either of you do." And that was something that pained Cora far more than she let on. How sad was it to only halfway trust two people in the entire galaxy? And one or two more she only kind of trusted. And maybe that was why she always ended up alone.

"You've done more for me than anyone else has. Even the man I loved, before he was killed. I've never really trusted since his death. Especially since it was me who got him killed by trusting the wrong people."

That she shrugged off fast, moving on to avoid the hurt of those events show through. "I know it's not wise. I know it means doing things that will be unpleasant, bad. I know. I know the kind of people I have to see and track down. They're Sith, Sio. I know. I used to be part of that Empire and called myself one of them. Maybe not as a force user but I damn well held loyalty to them. Before my family became targets. I haven't forgotten what those people were like. And I know, I know I may not like what I find at the end. But knowing is better than always having these questions stuck in the back of my mind, screaming for answers, and to not be able to finally let go of the death of my entire family."

One last sigh, "So, yeah it's worth it."

The blonde finally looked up to Sio, "Can you say you'd really do it differently, and just simply let it go? When you know something is very wrong with it all. With the pieces you have, with the official and unofficial stories never lining up. Maybe you could let that go. I just, can't. I need to know. I need to know to close this door for good."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Cora Passek"]


Siobhan shrugged. "I probably wouldn't let it go. That wouldn't make it a good idea though." She clearly wasn't happy about it. For one, she was very worried about the blonde, but it seemed she would not budge.


"Remember, this is your home. You'll be welcome here. So, when do you want to leave? Do you have any leads you can pursue?" On the bright side, the Sith had been thrown into turmoil by a civil war and schisms, so short of their complete collapse this was probably the best moment to go digging.

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora sighed. Even she had known it wasn't the best of ideas. That the whole mess could lead to her death. "I know, Siobhan. I know. It's a horrible idea. But I can't just set it off aside." In some ways she'd wanted to. Unfortunately it never had been something she could manage to do.

Cora nodded, trying to smile a little. Even if it was more feigned than anything else, "Thank you." The blonde sighed, "Soon, I suppose. Soon. And for leads, all I've really got is about half the official files that existed on the subject at the time. There's a few names in it, people who might have some clue as to what happened - If they even are still alive at this point. But that's it really. Tiny crumbs, nothing substantial to go on, aside from gut feelings." She wished she had more. So much more. But if she had that, she would be unlikely to be questioning it all now.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"Ok. Firemane can give you weapons and gadgets. I'd even be ready to transfer credits into a special account for you under a cover identity. However, I cannot follow you to Sith space or send Firemane agents to assist. If you go there, you're on your own," Siobhan said.


"Well, I'm glad you two could discuss this...peacefully, without setting the house on fire," Eileithya chimed in with a tone that could only be described as motherly, though she was clearly relieved. "I already had to heal an Angelii with third degree frostbite due to a 'training accident'." She'd had words with Seraph Taldir!

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora's eyes dropped away to the floor, "If I'm honest, I didn't expect even that." Possibly because I wasn't going to tell anyone else, but what can I say ... It is what it is. She thought to herself. "I know better Sio, than to think you could come with me. I know. It's not a risk you can, or should take. I had already assumed I'd be alone and on my own completely for this."

Cora gave Eileithya a quick glare, "Yeah, maybe." She shrugged, still not liking that she had to have the conversation. "Thank you, Sio. It's more than I could have asked for, or ever expected. And I do appreciate it."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"You'll never be alone here, Cora. Or unwelcome. Not unless you choose to." The last line was perhaps not pleasant, but had to be said. "Don't be a stranger, dear. Good luck with your quest. Come back soon and kill a couple Sith while you're travelling. Supper should be ready in about an hour." Having said her piece, Siobhan pulled the blonde into a hug and planted a loving kiss on her lips. Then she got to her feet and limped out of the room, leaving Eileithya and Cora alone for the time being.

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora nodded. That last part left her feeling a bit sad. Far too often she was the one pushing people away. She was the one, making an active choice to be alone, even if she didn't quite understand it. At the end of the day that was the result of what she had been doing for so many years. "Thank you, Sio." She said quietly, finding herself soon pulled into a hug, wrapping her arms sweetly around Siobhan and returning the kiss. "I'll be down for dinner later. Don't worry about me." Though, she knew Siobhan would. She just hoped she wouldn't worry too much.

A quiet sigh came as Siobhan left Eileithya and herself alone. "Well, now that's over..." She wasn't quite sure what to say then. Suddenly very unsure about her life, and about heading off to dig around in her own past. Quite possibly being rather reckless in the process.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


There were many things Eileithya wanted to say. Like point out to Cora that she was being dangerously reckless and putting herself in peril. Was the truth really worth this? Never mind the fact that the likelihood of her discovering it was low. Sometimes it was best to let sleeping dogs lie.


It was unlikely that her words would be heeded. "I may know someone at the Temple who could aid you in your quest. She's one of my lay sisters. A newcomer. She's not an Eldorai," she said carefully. Now, who could that possibly be? Lay brethren were regular folk who had turned to the Church for succour. Often they were people who had led a difficult or sinful life and had chosen to go into seclusion, or even orphans and similar unfortunates who were raised by the Church.

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora turned to Eileithya, as she spoke her expression softened. It seemed a little strange to her for there to be a new comer, a woman who wasn't Eldorai in the Church. But she supposed if she'd found the religion others could too. "Really?" Cora said quietly, "I would be ever so grateful for any help at all. Who is she?" Curiosity quickly rising, and some of her troubles forgotten for the moment.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"She goes by the name Livia Jaeger." The way Eileithya phrased it made it clear that the name was an alias. "She's a rather troubled, tortured soul, but resourceful. I ran into her beating up thugs on the Skyport. I believe it's best if you meet her and form your own opinion. Then you can decide whether you want to take her along."

 

[Cora Passek]

"Livia Jaegar." Cora repeated with a nod, putting the name to memory. Alias or not, it was something she was going to need to remember. "Troubled, tortured? Doesn't sound all that different from me." She gave a shrug, "Well, I would like to meet her, and get to know her a little before going anywhere further. Reality is, I need someone to watch my back on this mission and someone that can help in any way is greatly appreciated." Though, it still meant trusting a stranger when she barely trusted herself. Sooner or later Cora was going to have to face the reality of trust, and opening herself up to others. Sure it could get you hurt, but that was just one of the risks of life. "When can I meet her?" She asked quietly as she shifted on the bed, tucking her feet underneath her.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"I'm very occupied with official duties tomorrow, but I'll be free the day after tomorrow. Come to the Temple then. The guards will see you in and bring you to me. For now and tomorrow, try to relax. Enjoy the little pleasures you soon won't be able to experience," Eileithya said. Soon Cora would once again have to return to a world of paranoia and suspicion. She could at least try to destress a bit first. Whether she would do so was another question.

 

[Cora Passek]

"Day after tomorrow. Okay, got it." Cora said with a nervous frown. She worried a little bit about what was going to happen, to her, with everything. She also wondered about this new woman she was going to see soon. Her hope was that the woman would be useful to her and someone she might be able to trust enough not to put a knife in her back. Who knew what kind of demons Livia faced as well. So many variables to consider on both sides.

Cora sighed, "I'll try to relax. I can't say I'll get far with it, but I'll try. Thank you for your help. It's greatly appreciated."

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"You will not just try. You're wound up far too tight," Eileithya spoke firmly. Her voice had changed a good deal. Whereas before it was gentle, now it was commanding. It was a voice Cora knew well.


"You will get up, go to Siobhan and shag her. I don't care about what she's doing right now. I expect her to take you and for you to be satisfied. You're not allowed to stop until you've climaxed at least twice and rocked her world."

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora sighed, "I'll be fine, the sooner I figure everything out." Simple answers were all she needed to put this part of her life behind her. Or at least that is what she thought. And yes, the tone, the voice she knew it quite well. Extremely well.

She pouted, and glared at Eileithya for a moment. "But ... I don't want to. I'm not in the mood for such things." Well, that was only partially true. Mostly she was just trying to get out of having to spend time with anyone else at all when so much was on her mind. The pleasure she did want, and needed. Such conflicting desires. Though she did slowly get to her feet, she wasn't in any hurry to go off and find Siobhan. The woman was lingering still, trying to avoid going. But that voice, it wasn't exactly a suggestion. She'd have to go find her Sio soon enough or suffer the consequences.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


Alas, Cora was talking to a master level empath. "Yes, you do. Remember, all your feelings and desires are like an open book to me." Well, actually it was more complicated than that, but it was true enough.


"Now go enjoy yourself. That's an order." To give Cora some more motivation, she transmitted some rather raunchy images into her mind. Propriety forbids describing them, but suffice to say they involved rough, sweaty sex.