Private To Hell and Back

[Eyrecae Alzari]

[member="Kaida Taldir"]

Lavina absorbed this for a moment, sighed. “Our whole sorry species in a nutshell. Didn’t know much about the Tygarans before…well…you know. I saw them a bit more since I came back. They seem to be trying to learn from our mistakes.”

She paused, looked at Kaida. “What about you though, Kaida? Even you can’t protect them alone. Do you think the Shadows are the best way to help?”

“I do not feel my Sciia anymore. I’m not sure if I’m worried or relieved honestly. My time as an Angelii feels like a wasted dream. I learned not to rely on my Sciia. I understand now that it was the crutch with which they tried to control us.”

She put a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “So…what’s new for you? You’re so much more grim and quiet now it’s only sometimes I see my sister in you. But…things have been grim. Things have fallen apart so I’m not so surprised. But we’ll stick together now…they’ll never separate us now, right?”

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Eyrecae Alzari"]

"The Vash are the least stupid. Naive, but they know it's dumb to murder each other for not saying prayers right." There was a pause. "Don't tell Tryana I said that." She considered her sister's question, frowned. "They have too many disparate groups, even with the Ashira nuts gone. All this...voting. Still got plenty of racist numbskulls. But they're the closest thing. The other exodite groups are too small, or bickering over who shall plant her arse on a worthless throne." It was not a ringing endorsement, but probably the best that could be expected from Kaida.

She gave Lavina a curt nod when she talked about the loss of her Sciia. Kaida had, in all fairness, not really thought about it. Other things had taken priority, so that her power loss had receded into the background. She had yet to really process it. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Such tenderness felt almost alien to her. "They won't. I...I won't let anyone do that. I'll keep you safe." Kaida might have forgotten that Lavina was technically the older sister.

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

[member="Kaida Taldir"]
“Don’t worry, sis, I won’t tell anyone you weren’t entirely dismissive of them,” she said, amused. “What I saw of the Shadows seemed to work more than what I remember of the Matriarchy. But voting isn’t a bad thing. The old days got like they were because the old crone on the throne made all the choices for everyone. No one had a say.”

“You remember, sister, I’m older than you, so I’ll keep you safe!” she said with a smile.

She grew more grave. “Kaida, do you have anyone you can confide or talk to? I mean, before me. Keeping things bottled up isn’t healthy. I mean, hell, I’m no doctor, but I think you’ve kept too much to yourself for too long.”

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Eyrecae Alzari"]

Kaida glared at her. "Immaterial," she grunted. "I'm the Mistress. Was. Whatever. I still outrank you." No one kept her safe! She sighed. "I'm not a talker," she said bluntly. She was, if not a mistress of the Force, then at least a mistress of brevity and colossal understatement. "I don't go around bleating my feelings. Certainly not with subordinates. There are few enough people to trust". She had been close to Vaena, and then the stupid choir girl had violated her oath and joined the parasitical upper class. All it had taken was someone dangling power and a fancy title in front of her. The frost elf paused. "I got you. We can...talk....about...things." Imagine this being said in the most comically awkward manner possible. "You're close to the Harbinger," she said after a moment.

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

[member="Kaida Taldir"]
“We can talk about things,” Lavina assured her. She didn’t know exactly what things, but got a hint of it with the next words.
“Siona? She…saved me. In hell.” Lavina shook her head to clear it of the memories which welled up. “She helped me. She made me feel and act like a person again when I remembered nothing and no one. She’s…she’s like we used to be for each other, Kaida.”
Her tone was light, but there were some clear trauma still there about her time in the Netherworld.

She tried to deflect the conversation. “How about you? Anyone you’re close to? Any girlfriend or boyfriend I should know about?”
She knew Kaida didn’t, but it’d get a rise out of her sister, guaranteed.

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Eyrecae Alzari"]

"I...see," Kaida said slowly. "Well, I'm...glad that you had someone. I understand it was...hard." It sounded lame, even to her. The socially stunted soldier could not help feel a stab of jealousy. "I knew Angelii who came back from the Nether. Some never got their head straight again." She gave Lavina a hesitant pat on the shoulder. Fortunately, her sister changed the topic. "No," Kaida stated flatly. Her expression conveyed indignation, especially when her sister asked about boyfriends. Kaida would never let a maleling inside her.

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

[member="Kaida Taldir"]
Lavina had never been a particularly jokey sort, rather more earnest and more than a little full of herself. It seemed time and strain had started to swap the sisters.
She considered continuing to troll Kaida, but decided not to. Instead she put an arm around her shoulder and gave her sister a hug. It might well make Kaida a little awkwardly uncomfortable but she felt she needed it.

“Do you want your Sciia back?” she asked after a moment.

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Eyrecae Alzari"]

Kaida stiffened noticeably when Lavina hugged her. She looked awkwardly uncomfortable, as if she did not know what to do with her hands. After a moment, she returned it awkwardly and gave Lavina a pat before pulling away. It was probably for the best that there was no mirror in the room, as it meant she could not see her embarrassed expression.

Strangely enough, Kaida had given the loss of her Sciia very little thought. Other questions had taken precedence, such as the return of her sister's memories, the survival of the crew and the fact that she was being bombarded by annoying visions and everyone was getting angsty about them. "Yes," she said after a moment. Well, that was clear and concise. "You?"

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

[member="Kaida Taldir"]
Lavina let her sister retract without protest. For her sister’s new persona this was about as much as she could expect.
“It depends…depends what it takes to regain it. What I lose. I would not want to become Ashana again just to regain it. I would not want to fall into darkness on a quest to find it. If I could reclaim it easily? Then certainly, but I know nothing comes without sacrifice. And now I have you again there are some sacrifices I would not want to make.”

 

[Kaida Taldir]

[member="Eyrecae Alzari"]

"I wouldn't want to lose you either. Not again," Kaida said quietly, though sincerely. There was a pause. "I'm sorry. I understand I'm not...good at this." Good at what? Being emotionally available? Having a normal conversation? Hey, she was trying to be as personable as someone with the personality of an icy glacier could possibly be, so points for effort?

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

Kaida Taldir

Lavina just patted her sister on the shoulder, not unlike she had just before. She had also never been particularly good at any sort of emotional discussion of feelings. Their family had never really been the sort for close affection whilst she had grown up as an Angelii with her sister where such things were discouraged.

Perhaps for the best there was the sound of footsteps above and someone descending the stairs. Lavina stepped away so as not to be in such an awkward position.
It was Eyrecae. She looked vaguely surprised the two were down in the hold.
"Reunion? Families can be strange things, never missed 'till they are gone," she commented thoughtfully.

 

[Kaida Taldir]

Eyrecae Alzari

Kaida was both relieved and irritated when Eyrecae suddenly showed up. Someone more diplomatic might have felt kinship with the Paragon since she had woken up to find that most of her siblings were dead or had done poorly. But she did not respond to the primeval Eldorai's comment. "Anything to report?"

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

Kaida Taldir

Eyrecae looked between the two of them, but saw Kaida was done talking and Lavina didn’t really have much to discuss with her.

“Upon the Shadow’s base we approach. We should be treated as heroes of legend!” she said happily.



“Either way, you may wish to return to your seats, lest you go flying on reversion….”

 

[Kaida Taldir]

Eyrecae Alzari , Valiens Nantaris

Kaida snorted derisively at the thought of a hero's welcome. "I prefer to do right and get no thanks than to do wrong and receive no punishment," she grunted somewhat plagiaristically. Then without a further word, she left the cargo hold and made her way to the cockpit.

This was just the moment for Siona to catch Lavina without the ice lady forgetting that she had lost her Sciia and trying to electrocute her. "Hey," she said a bit hesitantly. "Back home, huh? Wonder how everyone will take that teeny fact that the grand Matriarchy only beat the Kar'zun through trickery. I don't know why any real revolutionary would weep, considering we all want to get away from the oppressors," she shrugged. "I reckon the Harbingers will be throwing a party. Sure I can get a ticket for you. So...how're you holding up?"

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

Kaida Taldir

Eyrecae merely raised an eyebrow. “Some would instead prefer just to do right and receive thanks.”

But it was no use, Kaida was gone. Besides, talking to her about such things was like talking to a glacier.



Lavina glanced at Siona. If only you knew, was her overriding thought. Still, it wasn’t time for that yet.

“I think it will certainly shake things up. A lot of us…well…they say they’re free of the nationalist view…until something really shattering comes out. Expect trouble of it.” She knew from experience that even when she was jaded and cynical some of the revelations had hurt. It’s why she’d gone into exile.”



She smiled at Siona though. “Sure, we can go to the party. I’m feeling…okay. I have a lot of things I need to think about, to consider. How about you?”

 

[Kaida Taldir]

Eyrecae Alzari Valiens Nantaris

"The Great Deliverer guided us out of the burning light into the shadows so that we might hear. Some still don't, I suppose," Siona shrugged. The Shadows claimed to be more progressive than the monarchists and reactionaries. This was true to a degree. However, nationalism was one of their tenets. As a result, they had many members who rejected the ancien régime, but were still fiercely nationalist and even racist. They could speechify about the evils of the Matriarchy, yet still call Kar'zun 'Arish'.

However, Siona had been a little child when her family had been banished from Kaeshana for following the wrong goddess. She had only returned to it as a woman grown, intent on vengeance. Of course, she was a reaver who worshipped a death goddess, so nobody was perfect. "I'm fine. Got a scar to add my collection, got some sistren back and I have a tale of bashing Ashira thumpers to boast about." She paused for a moment. "So...you remember everything? And you're free from the spirits?"

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

Kaida Taldir

It was amazing how old habits and old wounds could keep burning inside. There were many otherwise blameless people who held grudges or dark thoughts in their heart born of nothing more than ignorance or eny.



“I…remember almost everything. Some things I still shy from, others are lost to me. I now remember both before and after the netherworld though, yes. What I was, what I became. I now can no longer command my Sciia like I did before, no.”

She looked down at her hands.

“Maybe I can get it back. Depends what the cost is,” she said thoughtfully.



She glanced up. “Come on, let’s get a seat together. Don’t want to get smashed into a wall because we weren’t belted in.”

 

[Kaida Taldir]

Eyrecae Alzari , Valiens Nantaris

"The spirits' power never come without a price. They claim it is a gift, but the cup's poisoned. You don't need them," Siona responded confidently. Her view was, of course, tied up in her own religious beliefs.

In any case, they were about to enter reversion. The Harbinger did not like the idea of her blood being splattered across the wall. "Right. I'm sure Taldir...your sister's already doing a glacier impression and staring icicles at me."

 

[Eyrecae Alzari]

Kaida Taldir
Lavina frowned slightly. She almost said ‘Easy for you to say now you’re almost immune to it’, but that would have been a little unpolitic.



“I guess. When you lose something you had it’s natural to miss it. First my memories, now this. I would rather stay as I am now than lose my past again though.”



They came up to the main area and got buckled in. Kaida was likely staring frost daggers at Siona.



As they lurched out of hyperspace Yohara would be sending the necessary codes so they wouldn’t get shot out of the sky. Soon they’d be landing.



Eyrecae meanwhile just stretched out beside Kaida and started to whistle softly. This would likely annoy the frost elf…and Eyrecae in turn likely knew it!

 

[Kaida Taldir]

Eyrecae Alzari

Being Force Dead did not make one, as a matter of fact, totally immune to the Force. A Force Dead being could not be sensed in the Force or mind tricked. Even White Current illusions did not work. Likewise, a strong Force Push would barely do anything. However, Force Lightning worked, so did Force Net. Jedi could manipulate the air to crush a Force Dead being.

Did this make any sense? Not really. One assumed that at some point the New Jedi Order's writers had decided to write it that way to make the Vong less overpowered...since otherwise Jedi would be superfluous in the fight against them.

Regardless, Siona seemed to take note that Ashana was a bit annoyed, so she did not push the mind. "I wouldn't want that either. Whatever happens, you'll do what's right. And there are ways to protect yourself from the spirits' power. Anyway, let's not dwell on such things now." She did not elaborate further and sat down. Kaida was, predictably, staring icicles at the Harbinger. Her expression got even frostier when Eyrecae started whistling. Telara and Tryana were probably happy that the frost elf was not being annoyed with them.

Anyhow, the ship lurched as it dropped out of hyperspace. Immediately, a host of starfighters moved forward to intercept and if need be engage. Their weapons were powered up. Most of the starfighters were X-Wings, others were old Firemane craft or TIEs. Beggars could not be choosers, and so the Shadows had to make do with what they could acquire and maintain. Most of it had been salvaged from the scrapyard, stolen or bought on the black market.

Luckily, the security codes were accepted as valid. An enormous worldship, the Defiance, loomed ahead of them, surrounded by a myriad civilian and military vessels. Further away, a gas giant could be made out. The Shadows had been spending the last month or so exploiting it. Once they had exhausted the resources in the system, they would move on. As the party's still nameless ship moved towards the Defiance's hangar, more ships dropped out of hyperspace, bearing the refugees from Kaeshana.