Private Tread Lightly

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's brows pulled in, his ginger tone and comments on her tude making her question her own behavior. She could see the carefulness in which he was handling her, but it was hard to dial back and correct the sharpness that boiled through her.

Her nostrils flared in an slow breath. Her next words came out through her teeth, intentional as she tried to reign back the agitation that wanted to come forward.

"No I can't. It burns me. Punishes me for not choosing it." She paused, realizing something in return. "It lets you use both?"

Unsurprising, the academies had only taught one reality-- power came from the darkness. You sacrificed all else to use it. There was no middle ground, there was no balance. They were in the market for creating powerful weapons. Not stable force users.

It was what made Kaalia a much better master than the schools she sent her to. Aradia was not capable of seeing the difference yet. There was a lot she couldn't see.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"It lets you use both?"

Zaavik nodded. "Mechu-Deru was invented by the Sith." A supporting revelation. If capabilities were black and white he wouldn't likely be able to do half the things he did. Though if he took any lesson from Korriban, it was that the Force had a tendency to be a slippery slope.

"They come from different places, but ultimately it's about intent." He suddenly felt like he was teaching a Padawan again. A sigh nearly betrayed his assumed calm demeanor, allowing shades of impatience to show. "Look, if you can't do it we can just look around, but there's no guarantee we'll find anything satisfactory." There never was, but he wasn't going to mention that.

"Either way, we don't have time to deliberate."

 

[Darth Daiara]

She didn't have time to process the implications of his words. The pressure on their time was reinforced by the flicker of impatience she sensed in his energy. Her lips pressed into a thin line, hiding the sudden sense of inadequacy that she felt.

"Fine then," she concluded, her tone dead and non engaging. "You go left. I'll go right."

She turned from him, every ounce of her control used to try and regulate her emotions. Even still, her pain disturbed the force. Zaavik had done this at eight. She was behind. Too behind.

Her feet crunched into the stone floor, carrying her deeper into the dark cave.

How could one sense without sensing. No. Without the darkside. He might as well ask her to grab at air. Or bottle happiness. It wasn't her fault these concepts made NO sense.

Leave it to a lightsider to act better than her for it.

She scanned the walls with her fire, then took a deep breath in and gingerly let her presence spread out. Just a little. Five feet, then ten. It wasn't enough, she felt nothing. Her fire flared a little bigger.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"You go left. I'll go right."

"I don't think-" She went anyway. Of course. Zaavik wasn't exactly keen on splitting up, but he let her press on without any real attempt at resisting. A few moments would pass, and he'd drop out of reassumed invisibility to her left just as she'd begun to spread herself around the cave. "Dead end," he declared, or lied rather.

He glanced at her sidelong. "Try being certain," came the suggestion. Eyebrows raised as a wordless imploration. "It sounds like rhetoric, I know, but like I said it's about intent." A second attempt now that his patience had lapsed back into existence.

"Trust me."

 

[Darth Daiara]

He so didn't check.

She didn't know how she knew, she just did. She resisted an eye roll as she struggled to sense without darkness. See without understanding. Do without-- she sneered at his new set of confusing words.

"You really are so sure of yourself."

Well she wasn't. She was about as uncertain as she had ever been and frustrated to boot. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. She didn't get him. She didn't get this whole thing. Look into your pain and find the power you seek, now that was certain! But she tried. For a moment, she tried. She let out a pressurized breath and closed her eyes, letting herself unfurl in full. Every ounce of frustration and pent up desire to tear down the world, the sorrowful melody of a force signature he knew found its way through the air.

And she searched. With every fiber of her broken being, she knew for certain what she needed.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"You really are so sure of yourself."

A single 'ha' liberated itself from his chest. "One of us has to be," he joked wryly.

To facilitate her focus he quickly shut his mouth. A half-step back for space followed. He had doubts, but for a moment when it looked like she was actually trying he nearly thought she had it. Nearly. A familiar feeling flooding the immediate vicinity dashed his hopes like a boot stomping a fire.

"Hey!" he hissed urgently. A light punch planted into her shoulder just hard enough to snap her out of it. "Are you fething crazy?" He was breathing heavy with adrenaline, eyes almost wild. "I said certain, not apocalyptic." Fingers began to rub temples like staving off the onset of a migraine.

"Maybe I didn't explain it well enough."

 

[Darth Daiara]

"Ow!" She protested, grabbing at her shoulder. It was a childish motion that had been driven out of her countless lessons ago, but she did it all the same. "What was that for!" She squeezed at her unharmed shoulder, listening to his forthcoming reasons.

Did he just call her presence world destroying?

She snuffed at him, dropping her hand to shove him back, tit for tat. "It's not my fault you're a chit teacher, you told me to be certain," she hissed, glancing both ways before leaning in. "There's only one thing I know, and it's me. If I'm not good enough for here, you shouldn't have brought me. Need I remind you we're running out of options? You find it!" She pushed at him again and felt better for it.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"You're gonna get us-" Retort was stopped and punctuated by a shove. Zaavik went back one half of a half-step. He supposed he deserved that. Anger came, though he managed to shove it back down the pipe. Her rebuke hardly came in over his efforts, though. The second shove he was ready for, her hand stopping on him like deli meat on a durasteel barricade.

The bad teacher comment stung more than it probably should have. It wasn't a nerve that took much digging to strike, even if it was the truth. A long, drawn-out sigh broke the tense silence. "If I find it, if I even could with one strapped to my belt, it wouldn't really be yours, would it?" The statement spoke both from Jedi mysticism and acquired superstition.

"Let's approach this from a different angle. I want to get this done probably as much as you do, okay? Take a breath, relax."

 

[Darth Daiara]

She huffed at him.

Technically, that was a breath.

"I didn't find the last one and it worked perfectly fine," she grumbled. And then she huffed again. A glower found his way, but then again she was marginally more grumpy lately than not. Maybe it was the near dying thing? Either way, it took several more huffs until they turned into breaths. She didn't know what he was getting at here, but she knew enough what someone wanted when they told her to control her breathing.

Her next breath escaped her in a slow and steady puff. She glowered at him all the same.

"Now what," she demanded, reasonably calmer.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

Zaavik was controlling his breathing too. His nerves had become so turbulent they could rattle the rivets out of a star destroyer. "Okay," he began, sounding more like he was preparing himself than signaling her to get ready for anything.

"This is gonna sound weird, but- Close your eyes."

He closed his own for encouragement.

 

[Darth Daiara]

She pulled a face, unseen behind his closed eyelids.

Oh great, he was going full blown lesson on her.

She shouldn't complain, moments like these were the only thing that would fill in the gaps her late start at this life had created. Still. After his previous irritation with her, a part of her felt like she wasn't going to make the cut. She struggled against the insecurity and closed her eyes.

She forced another controlled breath through her teeth. If she was going to do this, she was going to do this right.

"Okaaay..." She hedged.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

Eyes shot open to make sure she'd actually done it. He expected blues staring back at him, but to his surprise she actually did it. Okay, this might work after all, but probably not.

"Uh-" Nailed it. A harsh beat cleared his throat. "Let go," he instructed plainly. "Focus on yourself, and what you're determined to do here. Separate it from the anxiety, irritation, fear, all of it, just- Just the task at hand."

 

[Darth Daiara]

Irritation spiked at the simplicity of the task. An eight year old could have done this. If her four years of training under Sith Lords couldn't get her to find the damn thing, what made him think these doofy directions would help?

She reminded herself, again, that she had no other options. She let out another breath and tried, very hard, to ignore that wash of irritation. It took a few minutes. Fighting against her stress was like wading through mud. The sith never encouraged an empty calm mind. They encouraged focus. Clarity. Direction. It was strange to focus on her need for the crystal without attaching the soul-shaking desperation that came with it.

It was find it, or die.

It was a dynamic that had always fueled her. Was it her, or did the jedi really look past the valuable powerhouse that emotions could bring to them?

She had serious doubts she would be strong enough to sense anything at all.

"K," she clicked her tongue, rocking forward on her feet as her body fought to maintain its balance with her eyes closed. "I see it," she lied.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"Do you?" There was a knowing undertone to his challenge.

"Don't rush it," he insisted. Both arms slowly crossed over his chest to stave off impatient admonishments. "I know it's hard not to be proactive, but you gotta focus only on the task at hand, not how to get there." How much sense that made depended entirely on her. "Don't grab it, just picture it. Let it come to you." Hopefully, that addition would provide clarity.

 

[Darth Daiara]

She frowned, her eyes peeking open he called her out.

If he hadn't gotten her into a near meditative, there would have been words. Still, she could feel something balancing in the air around her, feeble and tentative. She shoved her eyes closed and forced out another breath, unwilling to lose it.

Then she'd just have to do this all over again.

She brought the crystal back to mind, it's edges red and smooth. She did not know where her master had bought it and it didn't matter. It had been hers. It had protected her. From the very beginning, it had saved her life when others had sought to run her down.

She needed that again.

She tried not to focus on that need. She tried to relax her thoughts... her shoulders... she let the image just.... be. She could feel her intention turn into energy, tinging into life around her. A spark of excitement nearly scared it away, but she clamped down on it. So close now. She let out another breath and tried to relax to the power tugging at the edge of her mind. Her shoulders dropped. A dam of something intangible released inside of her.

An image flickered beneath her eye lids-- a soft yellow glow. With it, a tug took hold in her chest. Her eyes snapped opened. She looked both ways, then ran left as if possessed.

It so wasn't a dead end.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

During the intermission of focus, he had the urge to prattle off some phrase of encouragement. Ultimately, he decided to be silent and let her continue trying to hone in. The dark became harder and harder to sense as the seconds passed until it eventually placated to an odd balance.

And then she bolted past him.

"Hey!?" he exclaimed in surprise, probably louder than was wise. He pivoted on his heels and pursued her around the bend toward his false dead-end. Dread bubbled, not knowing if a lightbulb had gone off or if she was just doing something impulsive.

 

[Darth Daiara]

He'd find her paused at a fork, her eyes traveling wildly back and forth as it looked beyond what was in front of them. "This way," she uttered, uncertain but still possessed with the need to follow the tug. And something was tugging on her. Reason would say to pause and consider whether or not she should be blindly chasing calls in the middle of a jedi infested cave, but she knew in her chest that it would not harm her.

She didn't waste air explaining this to him. The tug had become a song.

They passed one cavern, the colorless crystal within ignored. And then another.

Deeper and deeper she led them, until the air had grown frozen and stale and the sky seemed levels above. Countless crystals had been passed and she hadn't even stopped to give them pause. She knew what she was here for. She had become... certain.

Their path opened into a small pocket of space. Clusters of crystals occupied the area. Part of her wondered if anyone had ever been down this deep before. Her quick pace faltered, her breath rattling in her ear as she slowly turned in place. The song sang softly through her now, gentle and welcoming. And overwhelming this close.

"There's too many."

 

[Zaavik Perl]

As the chase went on his nerves grew even more agitated. She hadn't said a word, and as far as he knew they were running right toward a group of Jedi. As they passed through the fork, he realized that his previous lie was now made. Best case? She wouldn't even remember.

His boots skidded against the stone as he ground to a halt beside where she'd halted. Doubts and anxieties began to fade as he laid eyes upon the radiance and clusters. Their collective presence was nothing short of overbearing. More potent than he'd ever felt in regards to inanimates. Nor had he ever seen so many in one place. He gave Aradia a look of astonishment.

"There's too many."

"Yeah, that's- uh- a lot." Eyes closed tightly before fluttering into a symphony of blinks. He had to make an effort to work off how stunned he was.

"Go ahead," he encouraged after a long silence. "You've made it this far, so take one." A step back made space for her to continue further. If anything he was more stunned that a Sith managed to hear their call. He'd always known them to reject the dark side. Maybe Zaavik wasn't the only one to see the good that still lingered behind those angry blues.

"They're alive. They will react to your touch, bond with you. Just be gentle."

 

[Darth Daiara]

They're alive.

Her fingers skimmed the edge of the closest crystal. Its surface remained cold, unresponsive to her touch. Instinct drove her by that point, the song in her chest vibrating in sync with something... and she could feel it grow with each step in she took. "We're the first they've seen," she whispered.

She turned, her eyes wide and alight with the wonder he withheld. She held his gaze through it all, her awe dancing through the reflection of fire in her hands. All at once, the flame snuffed. She turned her head, beholding the subtle glow of the crystals scattering the untouched alcove. She said nothing more, falling to her knees. In the center of a cluster was one crystal, larger than the rest. She took a deep breath, then wrapped her fingers around it. It warmed at once, her fingertips vibrating against the energy it pulsed out. With ginger motions, she pulled it free. It's soft white light expanded, growing warmer... and settling back into a soft yellow glow.

She stared with parted lips down at precious kyber, a sensation opening up in her chest. For the barest moment, her energy shone... with light.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

Across Zaavik's face was the first genuine smile he'd had since weeks prior to their meeting at Ziost.

He approached gingerly, dropping gently to his knees alongside her. Reaching into his inner pockets, he gathered what pieces of her former saber he'd managed to save and spread them in specific positions on the floor before her. Then, he plucked his from the belt coupling.

For a few, painfully tangible moments he hesitated, holding his saber out in front of him. With a deep breath, he broke the mental barrier as the saber began to float between open hands. Slowly, pieces and sections disconnected from one another seemingly on their own. The weapon was deconstructed into a skeleton diagram of itself. Eyes squeezed shut with strained focus, Zaavik reassembled the saber to a single emitter blade instead of the two-bladed saberstaff he'd possessed for years.

The second emitter and all crucial pieces associated with the second blade floated down to fill out the mock-instructions he'd laid onto the ground in front of Aradia moments before. Analog grasp returned, his newly refitted saber feeling horribly lighter than he was used to in his hand. Nevertheless he returned it to his belt and exhaled with relief from the narrow focus.

"The pieces go together real easy," he assured. They were all positioned where they would be in the saber for ease of assembly. His prosthetic hand produced a small metal apparatus from his upper jacket pocket: the crystal housing from her original saber. It looked far from pristine, but the marks of repair were evident. "You put this part together by hand, then the rest of the saber with the Force-" A sudden stop as he realized that was more traditional than practical.

"Well, you can put the whole thing together by hand, the telepathy is just... How I was taught to do things."