Ebb and Flow
Equipment: Dress, Heels
Accessories: Bracelet, Echo Stone
Tags: Gatz Derrevar
There was no hiding the curt and sharp edges she wielded. The emotional curtain she used to temper herself drawn tightly shut and unable to help her as Gatz seemed to see through her. Either the gimmick was up, or he was still trying to gauge her mood.
The squeeze of his hand reminded her she hadn't let go.
The small gesture making her stare at their hands wide eyed. Warm, pleasant. It wasn't that strange distant feeling she used to keep her aware. Kept her on her toes and everyone just beyond reach. Inviting, inquisitive.
Terrifying.
You're his enemy now. You're part of the problem. You're the thing he hates. Little rich girl. A jedi when it suits you. How long before he-
The question knocking her from the mocking she'd laid upon herself.
He didn't like the nobles, and she'd just made herself one. Did he know? Did he care? He didn't seem to mind Bri? Or was his teasing jabs just barbs hidden behind a smile? Worries that began to plague her mind as she frowned, letting the glass settle at her side.
"I. I don't know Gatz. I'm just. I'm tired. But there's more to do. Always." Words that would have been drowned out in the party filling the air. Admitting it didn't make her feel better. Admitting she was tired felt like a betrayal of the duties she'd been trusted with.
She hadn't even taken many of them on yet proper, and already she was realizing how unprepared she was.
"There's Romi's trial. I was supposed to be learning from her. I'd sought her out because I wanted her help. I. Went. Looking. I needed, her help. And now. There's a witch hunt on her. So I've lost her." Fingers tightened around glass, wyes still locked on the ground as she started to speak.
"Jakku. Feth. Jakku Enclave isn't even completed yet. I've got to go. And help finish it. And while Romi is out, or gone, or just. Not, coming back. I. I'm minding it for her." Her eyes stung, a feeling she loathed more than anything as she wiped at her eyes.
"I had to take my grandma's properties before they got sold off. Or I'd lose that final thing I didn't know I had of hers. But that. It's property. Here on Naboo. Gatz, I can barely manage my bank account. What the feth am I going to do with that?" Eyes finally pulling away from the ground to look at him. A panicked stare as she waved the glass about, emphasizing what she'd said before pointing the rim at herself and tapping it against her chest.
"And more of her stuff. I have to find. Some holocrons she left behind. But they're all hidden. Different places, planets she hid out on. And they've got lessons in them but. I'm working off what I can interpret with no teacher. And it's frustrating. And then on top of that I-" She cut herself off, realizing how close she'd come to finally telling someone about Corva Yag.
Tell him. He won't think you're crazy, right? Go on. Tell him! Let's see how much he cares.
"I'm just. I'm just tired." Her shoulders sank, the flurry she'd whipped herself into disappearing. Eyes drifting down to the hand still holding hers. "I can't stop. I've got to catch up. But everytime I think I'm doing good, I screw it all up!"
Her hand whipped around, throwing the glass away from the them to let out some of the anger that gathered from her words. The snapping glass didn't alleviate any of it. Making her feel more guilty rather.