You are now Santa, what do you give bad children instead of coal?

[Darren Onyx]

In light of the holiday season, my holiday being Christmas (I do apologize if this may offend anyone who isn't Christian, I just want to say that off the bat), I thought this would be a funny thread to post.

So you are the new Santa. Instead of giving all the bad boys and girls coal what do you give them? I'll start off by saying; Windows Vista with IE3 installed on it as the default browser.

 

[Lemley Orion]

A stocking full of secret pictures taken by yours truly.

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

*has to hold back all the non PG-13 responses in mind*
...
...
Uh
Uh
Well
...
Wet grass. And mud.

 

[Darth Metus]

A brand new iPhone 6.

Pre-bent.

Filled to the brim with Nickelback and Justin Beiber.

Merry Christmas Little Poodoos.

 

[Darren Onyx]

*has to hold back all the non PG-13 responses in mind*

My real answer is R. Hahaha. I'm good at torturing without being R though. For example: I'd like pictures of all the stuff they could have gotten had they been good.

 

[Delila Castillon]

Manure

 

[Julius Sedaire]

Ipecac disguised in their favorite candy....

 

[Popo]

A drum and drum sticks. Bad children are often raised that way. My method corrects the source.

 

[Mrrew]

Low powered explosives.

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Animal Dirt

 

[Yvette Thénardier]

Gernades. That'll teach 'em!

 

[Ellie Mors]

A beating. I would give them a beating.

 

[Placeholder 0123]

I give them [member="Silara Vantai"]. A beating, and an angry female. Makes for a lovely christmas.

 

[Ellie Mors]

A beating, and an angry female. Makes for a lovely christmas.

Does someone want another one?

A beating, I mean.

 

[Placeholder 0123]

Does someone want another one?

A beating, I mean.

I suppose that depends entirely on the purpose of the beating.

Though thinking about it, all the connotations seem rather negative for me. Can we just beat the OP together, in the spirit of the holidays? Cooperation and all that jazz.

[member="Silara Vantai"]

 

[Krytu]

One and only one piece of the best gum ever.

 

[Hijinks]

Weed... Maybe they'll be less mean-spirited if they're high...


not.

 

[Jorzen Quank]

A naked picture of their grandmother.

 

[Ibby]

Chuckie

 

[lordmitmar]

Well, naturally. I'd give them gifts.
Wait what?