B E A C O N
Objective: B (Bedridden)
Location: Oubliette, Off-World
Allies: None
Enemies: Solitude
Gear: Dreams
Theme: The Blues
Is it possible to envy the dead, is it right? When they are free to leave behind their sacks of flesh to depart from this hate-filled life and escape from the woes of reality, am I truly lucky? To be trapped here, disembodied and alone? What greater pain is there to know that you will outlive everyone you ever knew, all you ever loved, to never see the smiling faces, the tears rolling from their cheeks as you near that inevitable end, but what is time to a god? What is more horrible than to know that the universe will end and you will have never once been remembered, that you will die alone and forgotten, dead even in their memories.
But with great effort I can pierce this shade, feel what it is that lingers by what I have touched, and what I feel - what I know - is unbearable. The head that had, for a moment, been mine was laid across that Jedi's lap, eyes sightless, ears deaf, and a hole where that black, bleeding, heart had been. And it was cold. The confusion, the fear, all of Corvus' pain, all of her anger, her sadness, it flooded my being - my soul. And what of I? What could I even do!? What can I do! I want to scream, to relieve myself of this crushing weight, this regret, but I cannot! This frustration is impossible to swallow, so cruel and unending that it simply stirs, marinating in my own unease until at last I lose my mind once more. Will I ever be free, free to see, to scream, to throw my fists against the wall, to stare into those piercing eyes? What use is this power, the gift of the source - this thing they call the force - if I cannot use it? How cruel of a deity must one be to give pain of all the galaxy's sadness and then to never be able to let it out? Had she truly been so cruel, so evil, that her punishment must be to wallow eternally in this confinement, to tempt from beyond the world of the living and the dead, to wish only to cry out, to plea for mercy, for death, and to be denied it so many times? One simple request of the Jedi master, to spare her this misery, but she refused her, she condemned her to further watch, to feel every last ounce of this searing pain and remain unable to do anything about it.
Am I alive, am I even here? Does it even matter anymore? Why? How? WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER!?
Location: Oubliette, Off-World
Allies: None
Enemies: Solitude
Gear: Dreams
Theme: The Blues
[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhS7y1iusRw[/media]
Is this what they call freedom; Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?
There is no greater agony that to simply not. To be a mingling consciousness, detached from physical being, unable to see, unable to hear, only to remotely understand - to be linked emotionally to the world beyond. Unable to cry, to shout, to scream, and locked in a solitude of one's own making. A cage would be better, would be more humane, but to reside in stasis is to be damned to a hellish 'life'. There are no breaths to be taken, no pulse to be read, even the force shies from the desperate plea for escape. Do I touch the walls of my confinement, do I exist? How can I know if I am if I cannot? Why do I feel this pain shooting through every synapse, when I cannot touch, when I cannot move, when my life hangs forever on pause. This disgusting galaxy, this rotten world, this accursed life, am I to be lost to the galaxy, to time, forever, to be caged like some ancient beast forever, never to scream, to smile, to cry again? Even as I wonder if time has eroded beyond comprehension, as I doubt if another ten millennia have passed me by, I see only her face, only those eyes that pulled me in - [member="Corvus Raaf"]. In those last few moments I callously cut the cord, ripped my ties to the outside to escape that rotting corpse that still walked, but still I can feel the knotting in my chest, the churning of my insides, as that body lies in the icy fields to be discovered by a woman who knows nothing of me, who does not understand what it was she believed she loved. Can I love? Can I truly say I felt a thing for a woman that I have never met, personally? My reach is far, my foresight farther, but now I am blind, lost, and neither warm nor cold. The ultimate fate, the life of eternal slumber, unable to wake. But I know she is with her, with that thrall of a body. With Silara.Is it possible to envy the dead, is it right? When they are free to leave behind their sacks of flesh to depart from this hate-filled life and escape from the woes of reality, am I truly lucky? To be trapped here, disembodied and alone? What greater pain is there to know that you will outlive everyone you ever knew, all you ever loved, to never see the smiling faces, the tears rolling from their cheeks as you near that inevitable end, but what is time to a god? What is more horrible than to know that the universe will end and you will have never once been remembered, that you will die alone and forgotten, dead even in their memories.
But with great effort I can pierce this shade, feel what it is that lingers by what I have touched, and what I feel - what I know - is unbearable. The head that had, for a moment, been mine was laid across that Jedi's lap, eyes sightless, ears deaf, and a hole where that black, bleeding, heart had been. And it was cold. The confusion, the fear, all of Corvus' pain, all of her anger, her sadness, it flooded my being - my soul. And what of I? What could I even do!? What can I do! I want to scream, to relieve myself of this crushing weight, this regret, but I cannot! This frustration is impossible to swallow, so cruel and unending that it simply stirs, marinating in my own unease until at last I lose my mind once more. Will I ever be free, free to see, to scream, to throw my fists against the wall, to stare into those piercing eyes? What use is this power, the gift of the source - this thing they call the force - if I cannot use it? How cruel of a deity must one be to give pain of all the galaxy's sadness and then to never be able to let it out? Had she truly been so cruel, so evil, that her punishment must be to wallow eternally in this confinement, to tempt from beyond the world of the living and the dead, to wish only to cry out, to plea for mercy, for death, and to be denied it so many times? One simple request of the Jedi master, to spare her this misery, but she refused her, she condemned her to further watch, to feel every last ounce of this searing pain and remain unable to do anything about it.
Am I alive, am I even here? Does it even matter anymore? Why? How? WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER!?