Outfit: x x x |
Equipment: x x x x x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with:
Lysander von Ascania
Always Watching:
Briana Sal-Soren
Lossa Aureus
Lorn Reingard
With all the chaos compounding, there was no helping the crushing wave of anxiety that sept over Zaiya as
Joro Kal'nath 's words lingered in the air like the stinky glitter bomb that had saturated her.
None of you understands what it means to be a Jedi.
The accusation stung worse than a sparring match gone wrong, sinking deep into her chest. Zaiya had been trying,
really trying, to be the Jedi she was meant to be. She had attempted to keep the team together, to avoid arguments, to get along despite the friction. But no matter how
hard she tried, it all felt like sand slipping through her fingers.
Of course, her skin betrayed her inner turmoil before she could even get a grip. The swirling patterns that normally glowed with a rosy golden hue had faded, blanching to a pale, uneven silver while her bioluminescence flared in erratic bursts, sparking like static across her skin as her thoughts collided and tangled into a chaotic mess.
At least Knight Chiara and Cerys were okay. That was one small relief in the middle of the storm.
Zaiya bit her lip as she watched Joro stalk away, her doubts tightening around her chest like a constricting vine as he said he was going to quit the trial. If Domxite were here, maybe she could've found some grounding. Domxite always seemed to understand her, their presence soothing in a way no one else's was. But without them, the weight of everything pressed harder -- Lysander's constant jabs, Joro's cold remarks. Was there some truth to their words?
Were they
right about her?
Her mind spun in circles. The trials weren't supposed to be about winning, at least not in her eyes. They were about learning, solving the problem, working together as a team. Following the rules and objectives mattered. And yet, somehow,
she was the one who kept ending up as the target of their frustrations, their criticisms. She
wasn't the one lashing out,
wasn't the one collapsing pits or throwing insults like thermal detonators. But
none of that seemed to matter.
"You always act like you're in charge, like you know better than everyone. Just like at the training grounds last week when you caused a scene." As they ran, he motioned towards her with a dismissive wave. "You talk about sticking with you, as if I'm the one who needs you for this. That's not how this works."
Zaiya's hands clenched into fists at her sides, her nails biting into her palms as Lysander's words cut through her like a vibroblade. She could feel the flickering colors across her skin betraying every ounce of frustration, hurt, and anxiety she was desperately trying to suppress. Her bioluminescence flashed erratically, the pale silver of her skin now a restless storm of shimmering blues and turbulent greys.
She wanted to snap back, to tell him off, to
prove that she wasn't what he thought. But she couldn't. Not again. Not after last time. Instead, she forced herself to breathe, her chest rising and falling in deliberate rhythm as she tried to center herself.
Easier said than done.
"I'm not trying to control anyone," she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I just…" She trailed off, the words tangling in her throat. What was the point? No matter how much she tried to explain herself, Lysander would twist it, turn it into something ugly.
She focused on the path ahead, the boulders looming closer, their jagged edges a welcome distraction from the knot of emotions inside her. Her boots crunched against the dirt as she picked up her pace, putting a little more distance between herself and Lysander. She didn't want him to see the sting in her eyes or how her colors were betraying her again, painting her anxiety and self doubt for all the galaxy to see.
"I just want us to work together," she said finally, her voice trembling but steady enough to be heard.
"Is that so wrong?"
Ahead, the cavern mouth yawned wide, a shadowy expanse framed by lush greenery. Zaiya stopped at the base of the boulders, resting her hands against the rough surface as she caught her breath. The climb wouldn't be easy, but at least it was something she could focus on. Something she
could control.
Behind her, Lysander's voice carried, another jab, another sarcastic remark that she tuned out as best she could. She took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut as she chanted herself in her mind --
just breathe.
When she finally looked back, her glowing iridescent eyes met his for the briefest moment.
"You think I'm doing this for me?" she said, her voice soft but carrying an edge.
"I'm doing this because it's what we're supposed to do -- because it's the right thing to do by working together."
Without waiting for a reply, she turned back to the boulders and started climbing, her bioluminescence casting faint ripples of light against the stone. At least up here, she could leave the weight of his words behind -- if
only for a moment.