An Epic of Time Wasted ( Sky )

[Ben Watts]

Peace.

It was what he felt when he was meditating, something that came so little these days, his mind was always racked with various thoughts and worries. Luckily, though, the load he had been carrying for so long had been washed away by the arrival of so many other Jedi. Namely Darron Wraith, who had assumed the role of Jedi Grandmaster. While he had never been officially given the title, he had once taken upon himself all of the duties of the role, and it had taken it's toll on him. Constantly worrying about other people, seeking out others who either had no interest or no clue what the Jedi were doing, and trying to form an alliance with the Republic. All of that seemed so long ago now, but the after effects still wore on his body, like a nightmare he had awoken from but was still bothered by it.

Nightmares.

Dreams were one of the few things he could not control and they were the main reason he did not enjoy sleep as much as most people. His mind knew him better than anything else did, it knew everything he feared and loved, and it had a warped sense of humor. It knew exactly how to play with his emotions and they seemed to come more frequently these days. When he had been a prisoner of the Hutts he often wondered if it was all a nightmare, if he was having some sick dream that he would wake up from and laugh about, but it was sadly untrue. This was noticeable by the shackle scars on his wrist, his sunken in eyes, and his tiny frame. He was slowly building himself back up, rigorous training would do that, but his body still felt it.

All of that seemed distant now, though, as he was washing away all of the negative emotions. The light side of the force could do that, it could replace all of those negative thoughts, and put him back at peace. Ben was a peaceful man, a devout Jedi, and he hated that on the inside he was conflicted. He had been exposed to the dark side of the force more than he ever wanted recently, but he remained firm in his beliefs, never faulting because he knew he could not fail. Too many people had lost their lives counting on him, and it would be a slap in the face to all the fallen if he became corrupted now, he would not give in to the dark side of the force because he was a vessel for something much greater.

Another force signature brushed against his and his meditation was slightly interrupted. He could have ignored it, but being that he had come out to the forest of Tython alone, he was curious to see who had traveled so far out. Snapping open his eyes, he was met with a scene of beautiful trees and a clear blue sky, a slight wind gently brushed against the shrubbery in front of him. He was sitting in a classic Indian style position with both of his arms rested on his knees. He always placed his lightsaber in front of himself and kept it floating while he was meditating, it was something to focus on to push himself into the meditative trance, and when his eyes opened he slowly let it drift to the ground to sit in front of him. His light blue robes were too big for his body now, but he would grow back into them eventually, he refused to wear anyone elses clothing. All of his robes were made specifically for him and he did not feel comfortable wearing anything else.

"Come to join me to help clear your mind?" Ben spoke without turning to face the person who had stumbled upon him. He was sure they had not intentionally sought him out, but it was just a way to spark up a conversation, he was good at that. He was gifted with the ability to speak to anyone, always coming off as friendly, even some Sith had mentioned that they simply enjoyed Ben's company. Throughout everything he had been through, he was still a kind hearted soul, and he believed in the best of everyone. Believing that no one would intentionally give themselves over to the darkside, they were corrupted into it with false dreams of power, and power was something that was hard to ignore.

 

[Sky Kerberos]

Tython.

It was the world that held the end of everything. The end of the Horsemen. The end of the Regnum In Potestas. The end of all that was dear to her.

But she remembered none of this.

All she knew now was that she a clone. One whose memories seemed skin deep and incomplete. The clothes she wore were not her own, the saber at her belt was not hers. If Darron spoke the truth, and that they cloned and revived her after her death…wouldn't the Jedi Order still have her things? Clothes, weapons…pictures. A room where she once lived. But all these objects were left unsaid, and she was given a bare room with clothes that had never been worn.

Yet, she did not ask.

She knew if she did, she would have only been fed lies.

Nor did she wish to search, for her past was not something that needed to be uncovered. It was like reading a book, one which threatened to take over your life. She wished sometimes to cut all ties, to start anew. To not search for her old skin, nor wear clothes forced upon her, but to run free without the prison of an incomplete soul.

That was why she came to Tython. The memories given to her of her past told her she had never been here before. She wished to start new, to make her own path. But the moment she set foot upon these fields…haunted ghosts tried to speak, but only whispers resounded. They threatened to tear away everything that she was, and expose her for the unnatural being she had become. But instead of focus on what was not truly there, she walked toward a Lightside Force signature that was alive in the realms of present time. Stalking through the trees, she thought of the best way to kill it for it had been far too long. Jump from above, saber through the neck in a clean death. Or one of lightning raging through his bod…

What the hell was she thinking. She was a Jedi. Whoever he was, was also. She stopped in her deadly gait, and tried to keep true to those words. A Jedi. Act like one, as you should be doing naturally.

"Yes," she responded, knowing that clearing her mind had been the last thing she desired a moment ago.

"I am Sky," she said, feeling that name so strange upon her tongue. But I am Clone sounded worst, for she felt as neither. "May I ask what it is you are doing out here?"

 

[Ben Watts]

When she spoke, Ben recognized who she was, he had heard of her coming to the Order but he did not know much about her. Rumors had been floating around that surrounded who she actually was, but Ben had never been one to dabble in rumors, anything he wanted to know he would ask himself. But something seemed off about the woman, a dark presence, deep down inside of her. It was faint, but if Ben really pried, he could probably make it out. Not knowing the women, he did not want to intrude on her personal space, so he did not pry any further into the darkness. It did disturb him, though, because even the faintest trace of the darkside could lead to further corruption.

"Nice to meet you Sky," Ben said with a smile before turning his head back and facing the forest. He patted the earth next to him, signalling for her to take a seat next to him. "Please, have a seat." He spoke warmly as always, his voice was barely heard above a normal tone, he did not raise his voice very often. He knew of a few strict Jedi, but Ben was never like that, always preferring a warm and friendly approach. "My name is Ben," He started as he craned his head to once again look at her. "I come out here sometimes to clear my mind. These days my mind needs to be as clear as it can be, too many important decisions, no room for error. What about you? I assume you didn't come out here just to enjoy my lovely company."

 

[Sky Kerberos]

Her nose scrunched slightly in dislike as he signaled for her to sit next to him. Not that she did not wish to talk with him, but she did not trust him. Nor the planet, with it's hidden ghosts of a time long ago. It was as if Tython knew more about who she was than she did--and that unsettled her. And sitting--that was putting herself in a defenseless position, one which would take milliseconds more to attack if she chose so.

Instead, she kneeled on one knee with the other out in front of her. Hopefully, this met his qualification of 'sitting', while being able to fight if need be. Awkward maybe...but truly everything was awkward to her still. The feeling of clothes, of the wind, of conversation. Of looking through these eyes which were not wholly hers.

"I come here in order to be away from all that is familiar," she said honestly, for she had no reason to lie. "Yet I failed at that. Have you ever had deja vu, even though you know you have never experienced it the first time?" She shrugged as if her statement was just a casual comment, though wondered if Deja Vu accurately summed up the fog of lost she felt from this planet.

"Luckily though, you are completely unfamiliar to me," she said lightly, "however, I may not be a presence you wish if you desire a clear mind."

 

[Ben Watts]

He sensed unrest in her when he offered her a spot next to him. It was the second time he had felt a weird ripple in the force radiating from her, and yet, he could not quite put his finger on it. It was not dark, per say, but maybe a faint tracing of it. Either way, it intrigued Ben, to the point that he was becoming a bit suspicious of her past. He made a note to try and figure out a bit about where she came from, he did not think it proper to outright ask her, he was not here to try and figure her out. The force had sent her here this day for a reason.

"Deja Vu is a strange phenomenon," Ben started, putting his weird feelings behind him, and deciding to continue on his conversation with her. "Some say it is because one eye processes something faster than the other eye, then when the other eye sees it, it gives off the feeling of Deja Vu. But I think both of us believe it is more than that, no? To answer your question, I have indeed felt those feelings, quite disconcerting to not know whether or not you have experienced or saw something before." The topic of Deja Vu had always been interesting to him. It was one of those things that could be debated for years, and yet, no one would be able to give a concrete answer.

"Well we can change that," Ben said in reference to her being unfamiliar with him. Though she did not seem to be interested in the familiar. "Jedi Master Ben Watts. And do not worry, my mind is as clear as it is going to get, meditation is more of a hobby than anything else these days." He reached forward and grabbed his lightsaber before hooking it to his belt. "What is so wrong with the familiar that you are actively seeking to escape it?"

 

[Sky Kerberos]

Never before had she heard Deja Vu explained as such. She had heard of it being explained away in mystical terms--reverberations from past lives, dreams come to life, a shutter of the Force. But to have Ben offer such a concrete scientific definition was a relief. It was as if he offered her black and white definites in a world she perceived as grey. The ghosts quieted within her mind, as she almost became comforted by his reality.

Almost.

Ben grabbed his light saber a tad too quickly, and in a moment she was up--light saber ignited in her hand, ready to fight. It was a knee jerk reaction, having been so on edge in the presence of the Jedi.

As soon as she ignited it, before she struck, she realized he simply was getting up. She disengaged it quickly, bringing it back to her belt, unsure of what to say as anger came to within her. She was a Jedi, as was he, so why did she disregard him with such mistrust.

"I guess that is wrong," she said, trying to explain away her action and answer his question at the same time. "I am wrong. So I escape in order to find something right."

She hoped he understood, for she barely did herself.

 

[Ben Watts]

Sky flinched and within moments her lightsaber was out and ready to attack him. Ben figured it had to be a voluntary action, but it pretty much sealed the idea that Sky had much darkness brewing in her. He did not move from his spot, he simply raised his hands to show he was no threat. When she put the lightsaber away, Ben felt a wave of relief wash over him, he was in no mode to do battle with another person on this day. He dropped his hands to his sides and he looked Sky over, a strange look coming across his face, he did not understand her.

"Why do I sense so much darkness in you, Sky?" It was an honest question, not wanting to insult her, but feeling like he finally had a reason to say something now that she had whipped her lightsaber out. "One who believes they are wrong will always find more and more reasons to believe that it is true. Eventually the mind will convince you that you are wrong and you will never find what is right. Everyone has demons, but the ones who separate themselves from those demons, embrace them for what they are, that is when you will find exactly what you are looking for." Ben paused, hoping his words were making sense, a lot of the time he would speak and people would not understand him because he could barely understand himself.

"What are you running from? Yourself?"

 

[Sky Kerberos]

"How can you both separate and yet embrace something at the same time?" she said of his lecture on demons, ignoring his first question. It was clear why he sensed darkness in her: because she had pulled a saber on him. But to answer the deeper meaning of why, was something she could not do. "They are contrary, opposing forces, and to do both is simply impossible."

A frown crossed her face, for if he spoke of the impossible, then would she always be at war with her own demons?

And in his final question, that frown deepened within her soul. To run was for the weak. The ones who could not fight. She never ran before, in that she was certain. For Ben to call her out on this fear angered her, and the light saber grew heavier at her side, calling for her to take it in her hands again. Take it and kill him. Show him she had no fear.

"To escape is not to run. I simply can not stand the pleasantries of others, the mortal conflicts of the familiar...they are bland. As if I have looked upon it all before, and now it is meaningless. As if it all were only words on paper, and as I read I know I should feel...but instead I..."

"...I am sorry. Never mind."

She should not be speaking to him as she had. He was a stranger to her--and a Master who surely would remove her standing as a Jedi if he should doubt her intentions. She could not let that happen, because the one thing she knew was truth was that Darron had given her this life--wanted or not. And therefore she owed her allegiance to him, and hence the Jedi.

 

[Ben Watts]

Maybe she was confused, lost even, but she did not have the traditional thinking of a Jedi. While this worried Ben, he had seen it before, he had once been in the same boat. Maybe in a different way, but he had always been running from something, he did not realize what it was he was running from until it was too late. Now he did not have the chance to turn around and run the other way, to see what could have been, to know what he missed out on. But dwelling on the past was futile, it was over, and there was no going back now.

"You separate yourself from them by embracing them for what they are. By that, I mean, you have to know that no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you fight, those demons will always be there. But instead of ignoring them, trying to push them away, you accept that they will always be a part of you. I know that I have things inside of me that no man should have to experience. I have seen more people die right before my very eyes than I care to think about. No matter how hard I try to forget about the horrors I have seen, they will always be there. But I know that it is a natural part of life, people die, I have come to accept it. My demons consist of the people who I have failed to save over the years. But instead of crying about it every night, I wake up the next day, and vow to do those people right. To honor what they may have died for."

Ben felt for her, he could sense darkness in her, but he could also sense light. As long as there was light inside of a person, there was always hope, and she seemed to be very strong willed. At least from what he had gathered in the small time that he had known her. "Well I wouldn't care to keep doing what I was doing if this was all meaningless. Every action, no matter how small, has a ripple effect on the force. Everything, from this conversation, to the wind blowing these trees has meaning. It may sometimes feel that way, but in the end, this all has to mean something. Right?"

 

[Sky Kerberos]

Still standing at alert, while he casually was sprawled on the grass made her feel a tad awkward. There was no way she could position herself back down, for adrenaline still pumped within her--screaming at her to not trust this Jedi. To either strike him down, or manipulate him to her own needs. But what needs were those? In the past that had been stolen from her memories, she would have used him as a tool to take down her enemy from the inside. To force strands of darkness to corrupt his soul, and to enjoy the light being slowly extinguished from his body. Distant echoes still called for her to do that now, but she could not hear them. She did not know they even existed.

All she knew was that she needed to calm herself from these unseen forces. A tree stood on the ground besides Ben with overhanging branches, and so she hooked her arm over a branch, pulling herself up. Finally she could sit, knowing that she had the higher ground.

"People die. You cannot save them all, nor should you wish too. Death allows for new life...and what better death than in a battle between good and evil, than withering away in a meaningless bed?"

She hoped her death had been as such. Dying in a blaze, and now she arose as a Phoenix. But was it in new life, or as an old one repeated?

"I don't know if it all has meaning though. I don't think it matters if the wind blows or remains still on this day, nor does it matter if we all die, or all live to the fullest. Everyone dies. The stars will all die. Soon all of the Universe will use up it's fuel, and the last dwindling lights will burn out. Darkness will overcome in the end, and I say that not as a Jedi who has given up. But as a realist. It will happen, and all of this--all that you see around you...will be meaningless in the grand scope of time."

It was the nature of science. They lived in a beautiful era of the Universe, one with light and life. And though meaning perhaps can be falsely assigned now...did anything truly matter when the lights went out? No one would remember, nothing would overcome.

"But that is a long time off," she said jokingly, letting one hand glide over a leaf of the tree. The feeling of it's touch was unlike anything she had experienced, delicate and yet strong enough to capture the sun's light. It was strange being in this new body, for though her brain had downloaded much information--her body was still new. And each thing she touched or felt, was as if for the first time. "And though insignificant in the terms of space, perhaps our conversation will give rise to hurricanes elsewhere."

 

[Ben Watts]

She had points, points that Ben had often thought about himself, but he was far to busy worrying about the things in the now to worry about when the universe was going to end. Ben believed that he would live forever through the force, that his entire life was dedicated to the force, and that when he moved on he would continue to be a part of it. It was a weird topic to bring up to most people, even some Jedi were difficult to convince it to.

"What matters and what doesn't matter is all in the eye of the beholder. Sure, in the end, it may be meaningless to the grand scope of time. But we were put here for a reason, all of us, even the tiniest of creatures. What time thinks and what we as people think are two different things and I wouldn't care to keep on going if I believed that is was all for naught. If you live your life thinking that it will all be pointless in the end then you will never truly grasp how beautiful the gift of life is." She had moved herself up to a tree branch and was sitting, and Ben was having to crane his neck to look at her, he did not like not seeing someone when he spoke to them. He liked to connect with the people he was speaking to.

"You're very wise, Sky, but you seem to harbor much ill will. To what, I do not know, but I would like to help you if I could. I am someone you can trust, I promise you that, and I also trust in you. You would not be here if you did not feel like you needed to be, no, you are much more than doing something just because. If you do not trust me, I would understand, but I at least ask that you give me a chance to earn your trust.."

 

[Sky Kerberos]

Trust. No, that was too much for him to ask of her. Was the ability to earn that trust even something she could give?

Leaning back on the large branch, she faced up to the many leaves above. She took the more relaxed position in a gesture of this trust he sought, yet knew that if needed she could easily attack. The green of the canopy covered almost all sense of the sky, with only small streams of sun rays filtering through. It should be tranquil, this sight, but she wondered what tale this world told. Why did the ghosts remain, hidden from sight for now, but she still sensed their shadowy abyss closing in on her. Though she hated herself in being this way, she was frightened by them. Maybe trust was something she could not afford to shut off, for who else would be there except for Ben, when the lost souls came to take her back to hell.

Of course she sensed his wish to converse in a more formal manner, but if he wanted to speak face to face, he could climb up here with her. For now she kept her eyes cautiously on the leaves, knowing it was not solely the wind that animated them.

"I'm a clone, though I'm sure you have heard that by now," she said, glancing down quickly, wondering if he considered her less of a person since she was made not by nature, but by technology.

She tried to find the words to go on and explain to him the emptiness that persisted within her. "Have you ever read a book, where you are left going: that's it? Well that's how I feel, and not only as if there are holes throughout my life and an ending I cannot find, but also it's as if I read a book. These memories are paper thin, and though I know the words I do not feel them. Do they even belong to me?"

 

[Ben Watts]

So the rumors were true, she was a clone after all, and Ben turned away for a moment letting his mind think. All of her actions seemed to make a bit more sense now, she had the memories of another person trapped inside of her head and she was forced to live with that. What happened to the original was something Ben could only speculate at, unless she would tell him, but she did not seem to want to share that information. He understood, but he wished he could help, but how could he helped someone who was stuck between living a new life and relieving a past life. The thought of it made his brain spin a bit, but he straightened up his thoughts, before turning back and facing her again.

"Clone or not, you are still a person, and you are capable of living a full and normal life." He stood up from his seat and he walked over to the tree she had perched herself on. He leaned against the tree and looked up at her, unsure of whether or not she would feel comfortable with him crawling up the tree or not. "Why chase after memories that no longer matter? If you spend your life living in the past there is no room for you to go forward in the future. I do not know what your past self was like, but I have the chance to meet the self you are today, and I am much more interested in that than I am the woman you came from. We all have questions we want answered, I myself wonder every single day about things from my past, but like you said the galaxy will keep on moving whether you find out or not. So why waste time with something that was and not focus on what could be?"

 

[Sky Kerberos]

'Capable of living a full and normal life.' She had to suppress a laugh at his words for he sounded like a self-help speaker, preaching that YOU too can live life to it's fullest. Though his words probably were not said to provoke humor, she had to admit they at least got her mind off of the doom and gloom for a moment.

She turned from her back and laid on her stomach, while propping her chin up in order to look down at him.

"The thing is I don't want normal."

A smile could not help itself from lifting her lips as she wondered why he was so brave to approach her without weapon drawn. Instincts could prevail at any time...even though she had no idea what these instincts were based in, she knew they were there. Dark blue eyes held his gaze, as she tried to sum him up. Strengths, weaknesses. She allowed the Force to drift from her body, to go near him...to feel, to touch the currents surrounding him to see who he was.

"Things from your past?" she questioned, repeating his phrase. Still she allowed the Force outward, searching his soul to feel his reactions to his own past. Maybe she could learn from it. "What?"

 

[Ben Watts]

He felt her presence approaching his own through the force, and while he could have blocked her out, he allowed her access. If he was asking for trust from her then he would need to give his own back. While he was not used to letting other people in on his feelings, he supposed he would give her a glimpse into what it was to be him. When he thought of all the things that had happened to him in his life, for once, he let the sadness come from the depths of his memory. He was good at suppressing them, a master of it, but it was good to let the feelings come up from time to time. Disappointment, sadness, emptiness, it all came out like a flood and she would feel it all, but Ben did not flinch as it happened.

"It my not mean much to you, or to anyone for that matter, but it is the one thing that bothers me even to this day. I was born into the Jedi, I have been here my entire life, I live and breath for them. Everything I do is for them, but it was not always that way. My father was on the Council, a great Jedi in his own right, but he harbored much ill will towards me. You see, my mother died during childbirth, and he blamed me. He loved her very much, it was forbidden, but he did not care. She was everything to him and I was what took it away. Growing up, the only thing I ever wanted was his approval, everything I did was to impress him. I endangered my life and the lives of those around me for just a tiny bit of recognition from him. A "Way to go kiddo." or "I am so proud of you son." Anything that let me know that he cared about me. Sadly enough, that day never came, the plague took him as well as everyone I ever held dear. I watched the entire Jedi Order die out right before my eyes, and I kept wondering, why do I deserve to live? All I ever did was think about my own selfish needs. The Jedi Order did not matter to me, only my own selfish needs and goals, and yet I was still here while everyone who did any good for the Order was dead. "

He paused for a moment, saying the words was strange, but in a way refreshing. He had never told anyone his personal story. Anyone who knew him before he was a Jedi Master just assumed he had always been the noble and brave Jedi he was today.

"So there I am, alone, with no one else. My master, my father, my entire Order was gone. It was just me alone in the Galaxy wondering why I had been the one to live. So I basically had two options. Be a vengeful and spiteful Jedi who did nothing but try and get revenge for all of my fallen brothers, or do what was right, do what everyone had been telling me to do for years. The only person I had to prove anything too anymore was myself. So, I did, I sought out the Jedi. I found Teferi, we rebuilt the Order, and now we are here. So I live everyday trying to do right by those who died. Everything they taught me, everything they died for, I live for them and I live for everyone who currently sits under the banner of Jedi."

As if it never was even there, Jedi shut off the sad emotions, and he tucked them away deep in his mind. She would no longer be able to feel the feelings he had been expressing. She would still be able to feel his force signature but the negative thoughts were gone. Staring straight ahead, he took a moment to mourn everyone who had died, before he turned back to look at Sky. "So those are the things from my past."

 

[Sky Kerberos]

Before she had wondered of his bravery. His courage to approach her without weapon drawn. And now, even though he could have blocked her, he allowed her in. Why? She would have never done the same for him, and his actions confused her.

Was he brave? An idiot? She could not make sense of him or why he showed her his weakness with such openness.

Immediately, she pulled away. He gave her too freely what she wanted--to feel his pain--his loneliness. She had asked for it, but now did not want it. Jumping off the tree, she did not acknowledge him and instead turned and began to walk away.

The strange thing was she did not want to. Her steps went against her wishes, but she did not know what else to do except distance herself.

"Why?" she turned and said, frustrated by his idiocy. "Do you not realize I am a threat? Yet you show vulnerability. I do not wish to hurt you Ben, but how can a predator resist an exposed neck?"

Perhaps it was not him in the wrong though, maybe it was her. She showed weakness: she did not wish to hurt him.

 

[Ben Watts]

He was a bit shocked when she jumped down and stormed off so angrily. For a moment, he was upset, he had bared himself to her and she reacted very negatively to it. But then he realized that it was probably too much for her, his sorrow was more than most peoples, and being exposed to it so quickly was not something that was easily dealt with. Sometimes he forgot that he was just good at locking things away, moving on, the things he tucked away were enough to weigh down even some of the strongest of men. But he had something most men did not, he had hope, hope fueled by the power of the lightside. No matter how grim things would become, he would never give up, because he was not a quitter.

When she asked why, he wondered the same thing to himself, but not for long. Pushing himself off the tree he moved a few feet closer, not getting too close, he did not want to set her off again. "I don't think you will hurt me. If you wanted to, you would have already." He smiled, trying to show that he truly did trust her, if he didn't then why would anyone else? "I am sorry if what I did upset you, but you asked, so I told you. I wouldn't ask for your trust, Sky, unless I was willing to give you mine in return." He paused for a moment, taking a second to think about where he was going, he wanted to proceed tentatively. "Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. It isn't easy, we are inherently afraid of what we do not understand, we're scared of what is uncertain. But the only way to find our purpose in life, to find out who we truly are, you have to step out of your comfort zone and take that leap. You ask me why? Because I took a leap of faith in trusting you."

"I am not asking you to do the same, I am just showing you that I would never ask you to do anything I wouldn't do myself."

 

[Sky Kerberos]

He did not think she would hurt him.

Inherently afraid.

Scared.

Anger twisted inside her, for him to assume she was scared. Contrary to his beliefs, it showed strength to not trust, to strike out without hesitancy and destroy rather than live in the open fields as a dimwitted doe. She was not scared, and so turned from her walk away and approached him so that merely a few feet separated the two.

He trusted her.

Well, she would test the strength of that trust, to see if the moment things became precarious if he would bail. If he would take those words and prove himself false, for she would hurt him. If she proved him wrong on that account, surely all his other sentiments would falter.

Though she felt this darkness swell, she could not help but question it. She was a Jedi. Or at least her former self was. Nature versus nurture…perhaps it was as simple as the environment in which she was made. A fetus is warm, organically enwrapped with a heartbeat to calm it. She was conceived in a hard shell. Inorganic. Cold. Silent. Was this where her darkness spawned, for from all accounts of her memory, her past self was good. As the experiments go, the infant primates will seek out the warmth, the soft skin, even if it provided no nourishment. Without that touch, she had become…

The Force rose rapidly within her, and she took hold of it and pushed it out at Ben. Dark coils enwrapped his neck, as she focused on crushing his throat in a Force Choke.

"Do you trust me now?"

If he did, he would not fear. He would not struggle. He would not fight against her…he would trust she meant him no harm. She simply tested his trust the only way she knew how.

 

[Ben Watts]

Ben did not flinch as she approached him, but he did take note of the darkness that was welling inside of her, this was not a good sign. He was sad that he was not reaching her like he had hoped, but he would not give up, he wished to help her with this darkness as best as he could. He stared at her as she looked into his eyes, and then he felt something wrap around his neck, he knew this feeling well. She was a Jedi, she should not know this technique, but before he could do anything he felt it wrap around his neck. Keeping his eyes focused on her, he refused to break eye contact, even after the force clamped down on his throat. The air was cut off from his lungs and he remembered what he had been taught with facing this technique. He kept his calm, he did not flinch, he simply kept staring at her.

I do. He responded to her question, through the force, he could not speak. The feeling of pain was nothing new to him, he was almost immune to it, so keeping a straight face while she choked him was not something new to him. He was not sure if she aimed to kill him or not, he did not think she would, he must have just angered her somehow. Normally, he would have reacted differently, he was a fighter by nature and when backed into a corner he was used to fighting his way out. But if he was going to prove that he trusted her, well, he was actually going to have to trust her. You won't kill me because you are not evil.

 

[Sky Kerberos]

His first thought calmed her. Her grip relaxed, her anger dissipating. Even his warrior's heart beat, so she knew he was not simply a wimp, not one to submit. But for her, he did.

His second thought...

Angered her to no end. How could he presume she would not kill him. Why would he say she was not evil? Did it matter what she was, or rather should it matter who she was. Acceptance was what she needed, not definitions. Not good, not evil, but solely who stood in front of him. She wished to break his neck for those words.

However, her fascination with him allowed her to straddle her instinct. Ben was so strange...he spoke as if all he wanted to do was say the right thing, to calm her. Yet every word that came from his mouth managed to enrage her more. He was so odd, and her reaction to him even more so. For all this time she had been hiding herself from the other Jedi. But in front of him, she allowed her true nature to overrun.

She let go of the Force choke, allowing him to breathe. She was silent though, wondering what idiocy he should say next.