Private Chasing Stars & Stellar Winds

[Asmus Janes]

“All I really have,” he admitted. “A bag tucked into a compartment with a few changes of clothes and a toolbelt. The others have my flight suits and helmet.”

Asmus had thought living on the Subversion had been traveling light. At least back then his belongings had simply been elsewhere. Wraith Squadron had two shuttles worth of gear, five starfighters. They had to be able to pack up and leave within one hour. And that was all he had. He had become accustomed to it.

“You lived here? Before?” he asked. It was such a simple question for the weight it carried, but after the previous night Asmus didn't think there could be more answers worth fearing. At least he hoped there couldn't be revelations that would come at him with an even greater emotional impact.

 

[Kaile Vera]

"Reckon the roles are reversed now," Kaile said, mulling aloud how it was now Asmus moving from place to place with only what he could carry. At least he had the Thunderstruck.

Another spoonful of oatmeal went into her mouth, and Kaile gave a slow nod at his following inquiry. He was likely very curious after all the previous circumstances where Kaile wouldn't answer his questions. Even now, it was still a bit difficult as her mind had been wired to keep as much personal information to herself. Especially if it came to the people she cared about, like Kurt.

Reminding herself that with the ash call there was no more SIS, Kaile swallowed and added, "Yeah, stayed almost two years here... at least until after Quin..." a pause. " I left soon after that for undercover work." Really, anything she could get her hands on to make her busy enough to not dwell on the heartache.

"Spent time fixing it up. Did the hyperdrive and the responsive shield... the lot of this cargo bay and some other additions with Kurt."

 

[Asmus Janes]

He'd been nearly two weeks without sonics on one of their stops. They had all washed in a nearby like and despite the humid warmth of the world it have felt ice cold in the mornings. He had missed his open plan wet room during that time a great deal. Thinking of that only drew him to the memories of their week before the ball. Oh they had enjoyed some hot showers. And a bath with that bottle of expensive bubbly that had been left at his house.

“Were you planning on staying here and keeping on the move once you left?” he asked. Finally the conversation slowly veered back towards the future. There was no way to put it off indefinitely.

She loved him. She had admitted it to herself and to him. That didn't mean it was enough. It depended on her plans. What they were and whether there could ever be a space for him in them.

 

[Kaile Vera]

There came that tense silence, the pair looking at each other in the wake of mentioning Quin and what had befallen Kaile back then. Another slow, silent nod and then a deep breath. Still not ready to fully discuss it, Kaile opted for focusing on the token statement said in humor.

"Ain't the only ship in the 'verse I reckon that has a hot tub." she added, eating more of her oatmeal, this time a little bit quicker.

"The water tank only holds enough water for it. Took some ingenuity to get it all to fit." her right shoulder gave a rolling shrug.

"Was more of... why not? We found the salvage, figured might as well try and do something with it. " a pause, "Plus it was cheaper than getting water showers or having to pay for using one at Bespin or any of the stops we made."

 

[Asmus Janes]

“I've still got the implants in. If you want I can get Jay charged and we can linger around. Just in case,” he offered. Asmus didn't want to get under her feet. Nor did her underestimate Kaile's skills, but the cove could be a dangerous place and there seemed little reason not be a little cautious.

“I have a few contacts helping to resettle the rest of the squadron,” he said. “If…” there was a pause as Asmus clearly struggled to put together the next offer. “...if you decide you want to go on without me then I’ll give you their details. Just in case you want to find somewhere to settle.”

It hurt to say that. Even though it was a good thing, he felt as if he betrayed himself by making it easier for her to go on without him. His heart would be truly shattered if that came to pass now, he realised. A little colour left his cheeks and concern creased his brow as he imagined that possibility.

But… said Vo’s voice inside his head, if she uses your contacts then she makes a trail you could follow…

Asmus was starting to dislike the anti-conscience that the sullustan seemed to have become for him.

 

[Kaile Vera]

Kaile rose an eyebrow. She had mentioned already that she was planning on leaving Rishi as soon as she managed to collect a new alias. Likely with the stress of everything, he had forgotten.

“On the move.” she replied, answering again. “At least until I could figure out what to do… until it was safe.” To a degree, she didn’t want to bring Kurt any trouble. However, he had already told her months back that whenever she was ready, she always had a home to come to. Kurt kept a cabin for her in his new ship. At the time, the thought of ever finding and being with Asmus was more wishful thinking and a daydream. Having him here in front of her, well, depending on how things went, changed things.

The question was what exactly was he wanting or planning to do?

“I’ve got to go to Raider’s Cove to finish up a deal with a counterfeiter.”

 

[Asmus Janes]

He'd been nearly two weeks without sonics on one of their stops. They had all washed in a nearby like and despite the humid warmth of the world it have felt ice cold in the mornings. He had missed his open plan wet room during that time a great deal. Thinking of that only drew him to the memories of their week before the ball. Oh they had enjoyed some hot showers. And a bath with that bottle of expensive bubbly that had been left at his house.

“Were you planning on staying here and keeping on the move once you left?” he asked. Finally the conversation slowly veered back towards the future. There was no way to put it off indefinitely.

She loved him. She had admitted it to herself and to him. That didn't mean it was enough. It depended on her plans. What they were and whether there could ever be a space for him in them.

 

[Kaile Vera]

There was a faint quiver in Asmus' voice that told Kaile of the underlying story of just what the former Wing Commander's state of mind was in than the words he was speaking.

It troubled him enough to say them with more than his fair share of natural pauses. Add to that the blanching of his face and the way his brows went furrowing forward in alarm told Kaile that he wasn't too keen on that idea. Not the part of offering his help, but more that she'd go away without him.

To be fair, it was still percolating through her mind. Having the freedom to consider that the younger man would be able to actually have the option to share a life with her was still one she was tumbling around in her mind in. It was all so sudden. Still so new. It would take some time for Kaile to come to terms with it, much less what her ultimate decision would be.

Her right hand came up, fingers brushing to tuck wayward strands of bright pink hair behind the shell of her ear. From her expression, she was vacillating between how to respond.

"... Maybe. We'll see. " she began, her fingers playing with her mug of tea along the blue metal grip.

"I have to confirm the meeting." brown eyes went drifting up to catch Asmus' in turn.

 

[Asmus Janes]

He gave a little nod and an attempt at a smile. He hadn't been expecting a decision. It was more the case that he had feared she might have already set herself on leaving him behind.

There were possibilities stretching out before them. Endless paths and outcomes that no navcomputer could thread him through. Asmus had, for a time, almost given up on finding her. Even back before that on Eriadu he would have never expected to end up here. His eyes fell again despite his attempt not to look. It all threatened to overwhelm him, but when he looked at the small bump that was a growing life formed of both of them it all washed over him again. Asmus was a raw nerve, little filter being thinking of what could be and the full emotional impact of those implications.

“Oh,” he said suddenly, holding up a spoon before pointing it at Jay. “You might want to tinker with his programming. Right now I reckon he'd ignore everything else to protect me? Just in case, maybe that should be switched around?”

It seemed a slightly old fashioned notion. Asmus couldn't deny it was the way he felt: that if there was danger it was Kaile and their unborn child that Jay should prioritise. He knew he would do the same and couldn't have Jay trying to carry him off to safety and leaving her behind.

Asmus brushed her elbow with his as he returned to his oats. Just that little touch reminded him how strongly he wanted one thing above everything else. To stop talking and just hold her for a while. To draw her in close until they could both imagine that everything would be okay no matter what happened.

 

[Kaile Vera]

That little nudge from Asmus' elbow was a start. A tiny pinpoint of warmth that went traveling from his elbow along to hers, sending a slight tingling sensation throughout her limb. He could still affect her so. Didn't matter if it was a cocktail of emotions, Asmus could make her feel as if she were head over feet.

The tea was just about done, so she'd be holding onto an empty mug soon. Thankfully, the former Wing Commander brought another topic to focus on, namely Jay's protocols Kaile had programmed into the droid to ensure Asmus would be safe.

"Why? " she began, lofting a pale brown brow up high in curiosity. There was no avoiding how Asmus' gaze kept dropping from her face down to her belly as if it were the highlight of the Wonders of the Galaxy show. It was a bit disconcerting. He didn't mean anything by it, Kaile was sure. Frankly with the amount of data drop she gave him, he was still very much in a daze and trying to get everything to make some sort of sense.

"Hasn't he done a good job?'

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Yeah,” Asmus chuckled, “he has. I'm still in one piece.”

There had been a few close calls over the last five months but he didn't feel like going into them now. He could remember her expression when he had described the battle of Coruscant as if it had happened yesterday.

He took a moment to decide how to phrase this without being condescending. Asmus turned to face her, meeting her gaze and trying to convey that he wasn't being flippant about this.

“Just in case something happens later. I don't think Jay should prioritise looking after me if you're in danger. I know well enough you can look after yourself better than I can. But just say you get in danger. I don't want him carrying me off on his shoulder if you're not safe.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

It made sense what Asmus proposed. Nonetheless, it still gave Kaile something to muse about. She bit her lower lip, fingers playing along the thick bulb of her teacup. There were two aspects seemingly tugging her in two different directions. The first was ensuring that Asmus would remain safe. There was no denying that Jay could very well be the additional security the former Wing Commander would need to ensure his safety. The other, well, could only remember with a distinct sharp pain just what had occurred during that brief stop with Kurt at the marketplace. Had it not been for the sudden stampede of fear from the refugees…


Kaile took a deep breath, her throat bobbing as she swallowed with certain difficulty. Brown eyes went drifting down, focusing on her empty mug.

“Well, maybe when needin’ to go down to Raider’s Cove…” her voice gave a small trail off. After a second, she added, “He won’t last without powering up at a station.” glancing over at Jay’s still form.

“We ain’t got anything around here on Sky Ridge Island that might help with that…. “ a pause. “ Well.. save the Solaris…”

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Has it got any juice left?” he asked. “Might be good not leaving him plugged into the ship in the middle of the landing area. Some dodgy looking ships over there.”

Asmus was glad she lived here in isolation rather than down around the port. It wasn't a civilised area. A bounty hunter could probably make a pretty penny if they had a chance of lasting five minutes down there.

His eyes flicked down once again and he caught her noticing his glance.

“Sorry,” he apologised with a grimace before continuing. “That's, you know, a child made of you and me growing. And that's amazing,” he said. A broad grin spread across his face. “And it's all still just trying to sink in, you know?”

“Sorry,” he apologised again quickly. The last thing he wanted to do was to put pressure on Kaile after what had happened to her before. Asmus just wasn't the best at hiding his emotions.

The trouble was that it was starting to sink in. Despite everything that had happened, everything going on in the Galaxy, this brought an entirely new sense of elation that wanted to break free.

“Where's the Solaris?” he asked, wrestling with the smile that wanted to stay where it was.

 

[Kaile Vera]

Now it was going into the awkward territory again. Kaile gave a shift on her seat, taking a deep breath that made her shoulders rise as her expression visibly made its attempt at processing everything that Asmus had said.

On the one hand, there was that exciting tingle at the base of her belly that would respond to Asmus’ increasing enthusiasm. On the other, hearing him apologize for every other word seemed to raise her level of anxiety. A hand came to rub her palm over her belly, a nervous fluttering gesture akin to the many times she'd run her own fingers against Asmus' own skin.

Believing it would be better to simply focus on his query about the Solaris, Kaile said, "About a three-kilometer walk from here." adding, "Along the shoreline. I have her settled on one of the seaside caverns there."

The bulk of the islands on Rishii was simply put a smuggler's paradise. Anyone could well disappear with their cache for years and be left alone. Searching for anyone specific would take time unless one knew the charted waters and terrain. Precisely the reason why she came here.

"I can take you after you finish eating if you like." an olive branch of sorts while the woman gathered her bearings. It was a strange thing to consider how to act and react. Most of it counter-intuitive to what her mind and her heart desired.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus had always enjoyed the sea breeze. It wasn't the same on any two planets. The sounds of the waves crashed against the shore. They seemed to wash away the harsh, ragged edge of his emotions. It seemed a lifetime ago that they had walked along that stretch of Eriadu coastline.

Jay kept his distance behind them. He had been like an infant when they had first met him. Months around people had given him slightly more awareness of how to act around people. That included having a sense of when to give them space.

Asmus had wanted to place his hand over hers over her belly and then to tell her everything he was feeling. He didn't like to keep his feelings in but there was far too much swirling around inside his head. Now they were here, walking quietly. Slowly the storm inside his mind calms with the gentle coming and going of the waves. Close to the horizon he could see several beams of light cutting through gaps in the clouds to pick out distant waves. Despite the way these islands were used it was actually quite a beautiful place.

“This is a nice walk,” he said quietly. One of the first things he had said since they had left the Meesa.

 

[Kaile Vera]

Early morning, with the sun’s rays casting down with a soft rosey peach glow, it was easy to understand why Asmus would say it was a nice walk. The islands this far out from Raider’s Cove were untarnished by pollution and the city. Only a small gnarled path amidst the black jagged, jungle coastline gave any indication of a local population, and even then, it was mainly a migration path set by the local paunchy Dokrek’s, which were a plumper version of a deer.

The sounds of birds cawing would break the sound of crashing waves, providing a more intimate setting as the pair set along the path, Kaile carefully leading Asmus towards the craggy outlook that she’d visited last night. To think that she’d happened along this same path before Asmus had a chance to leave brought a slight flutter to her heart. It was full of nervousness and anxiety. What would have happened had she missed him? Or what if he had found her first?

It was hard to say how that conversation would have gone. Ultimately, here they were, with the bulk of their secrets revealed in the cards they’ve dealt. Well, Kaile thought to herself, there were still a few more. He didn’t know the extent of her skills nor that she was a Lorrdian. Although, as she managed to peek a glance over at Asmus from her periphery, I doubt that is what is at the forefront of his mind.

“Can be, unless it storms.” Kaile explained, using her right hand to reach out for an overhead branch to balance herself as she gave a small hop down to a flat stone trail.

“The tide rises pretty high and it’s dangerous to try and make it to the cavern -- the sea is too high to find passage through it.”

Another glance at the former Wing Commander’s direction, catching Jay’s tall form in the background.

“... how,” she began, licking her lips and scrunching her face, “how is Vo?”

 

[Asmus Janes]

The slow rhythm of the ocean couldn't soothe everything they both felt. He could hear the trepidation in her voice. This was an old path for her, new one for him. At the same time they walked entirely new ground together. Asmus had seen through some of the layers she surrounded herself in, but that just provided one perspective. It wasn't the same as her trying to open up.

“He's doing quite well for himself,” Asmus said with a chuckle. “Doing quite well with his own little private enterprise. Mind so sharp he could cut himself on it.

There was an odd sense of relief. Telling Kaile that he had let go of the resistance effort made it more real. Like breaking the last tethers. His part really was done. It was time for a new chapter.

Asmus couldn't help but appreciate that he could see her clearly for the first time in the morning light. The first time in months. Some of those hard angles had been softened since he had last seen her. He thought she looked very well for it.

“If you want, he could probably source some new credentials if you want to take a more familiar option?” he asked. Even as he spoke it, he wasn't sure if it felt right. It almost felt like taking a step back when he wanted to go forward.

He wished that the path had been less narrow, that he didn't have to concentrate on his footing so much. It would have been worth trying to hold her hand, just to feel her touch again and to find out a little more about where they stood.

 

[Kaile Vera]

“No.” the reply was quiet, but firm. From under a fringe of bright magenta hair, Kaile’s pale blue eyes shot up to glance at the former Wing Commander.

“I ain’t going to risk anyone else.” it was the same thought process that had kept Kaile doing what she’d been doing on Rishi for the last few months. Every action, every step, had to be carefully considered. She had long since come to terms that even if the SIS or the Alliance would send a recall, that she wasn’t going to go back. Her jaw gave a slight clench, hair swaying with every step across the rocky undergrowth that led towards the seaside caverns further up along the narrow path.

Emotions clashed again, making Kaile feel as if she were swinging on one of those carnival boat rides. Part of her felt a little guilty for the way she responded to Asmus’ offer, another felt troubled that it would lead to another awkward patch of silence. Ducking her head, she let her hair veil her pinking face while mumbling out, “It ain’t that far now.” a half gesture of her hand went pointing towards the approaching angling cliff seaside littered with eroded cavern holes of varying sizes.

 

[Asmus Janes]

His eyes followed the line of the cliffs. The ocean spray leapt across his view and they were close enough that he could hear the patter of it falling upon the rocks. He wondered which of those caverns held the gleaming silver ship. It still tickled him that they had stolen it from a staunch imperial to make their escape.

They hadn’t spoken much. Suddenly the silence interspersed with short pieces of conversation struck him. It was both of them. Like a dance, but nothing like that first one that had taken place over several days on the Quintessence. Both of them were taking tentative steps, unsure where they stood or if they could lean into the other. Asmus sighed. He wanted to touch her again, to hold her close and tell her everything he felt right now. Assuming that he could even work that out himself.

“You know,” he said, tone slightly lighter, “I imagined these conversations a thousand times over the last few months. Even when I was nearly certain I would never see you again. Didn’t quite go any of the ways I might have guessed. Shame, some of the speeches I worked out in my head were quite good,” he said. A tentative smile was thrown her way. He reached out to her with that look and the more conversational tone. Yet he was still nervous how she would respond.

 

[Kaile Vera]

It wasn’t hard to notice the slowing of Kaile’s stride; the way the weight of her body seemed to rock to and fro betwixt one thought and another. From under a canopy of a bright magenta fringe, the Lorrdian managed to give a glance over to the former Wing Commander, taking in every subtle nuance of his body language, trying to get a read off him.

Pearly white teeth went nibbling on her lower lip; an unconscious way to cope with her haphazard thoughts and whatever came tumbling forth. The sparse exchange that they had between them the past few months was the extent that Kaile ever dreamed of being able to produce. There was only so much risk she could take with the baby. Here, having him beside her, trodding towards the Solaris on a hike upon a Rishi trail hadn’t been anything that her imagination could conjure. Then again, nothing that had been revealed so far would have been remotely close to what the former SIS agent and Incom Rep would have considered to be the subject of conversation.

“Oh?” she kept her voice low, attempting to curb the curiosity shaking within it, “ And how did they go?”