Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Checkmate

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
As the hilt hit his palm, he inhaled sharply as he prepared to take her life, raising hilt to activate and bring down over her head, but he stopped when she opened her violet eyes; the violet eyes of a Raaf. Hesitation was all he had, faced with confusing signals of a Darth he wanted to strike, now radiating peace as just…Taeli?

It was the last he heard before he saw the tendrils of green light shoot to him and shocked every muscle and bone in his body. The hilt dropped from his hands, but his knees hit the floor faster than his dropped weapon as he seethed through gritted teeth, grinding them so hard he felt the crack of enamel on his back molars.

The moan of pain turned to a sharp cry of agony, as he felt the mind jolt and body convulse as the Sith Magic began fighting the powerful magic Taeli was unleashing on him. The lighting could have been hurting him, he didn’t know, because the feeling that every muscle and ligament in his body was being pulled off the bone was paralysing.

He fell back and tried to claw away the pain, to keep his skin from bursting open, but there was nothing he could do. His head lolled to the side as he gave up and let the darkness take him.

Not the darkness of the Sith Magic battling to root itself, but the darkness of light as his eyes closed and he lost consciousness.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

Even as he fell unconscious, she continued her spell, drawing the purple and black energy out of his body. It wasn't just rooted in his brain anymore, it had spread because of recent events she was guessing. Like a cancer, it had slowly been growing within him, infesting every part of his being. She had warned what would happen if he suffered emotional turmoil, and it seemed her warning had been warranted.

Her head pounding, her mouth growing dry, her muscles trembling, she pressed on regardless. She was going to draw that Sith Magic as poison would be from a wound, the green energy pulling and tugging at it.

"Haurire tenebris magicae ex interioribus ejus! Trahere a tenebris animam eius!" she chanted, letting more energy rush through her to merge and draw the darkness out. She could see the black and purple energy trying to shoot along the green energy racing from her hands, trying to worm its way into her. A memory of Corvus hugging her as she broke down, of accepting her for what she was, brought a fresh wave of light into her. The energy trying to head into her was burned away, the light overpowering it as she drew more and more until nothing was left to be pulled from within him.

Letting her spell and the lightning go, she collapsed to her knees, breathing deeply. She could feel her body shaking horribly, but she took long breaths to try and still her muscles. Looking down at all the burns on her clothing and skin, she looked over at Connor. He was relatively unmarked from her actions, but his hands were still all charred and smoking.

"I hope that was enough," she whispered.
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
Walking through the halls of the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Connor was in no rush. The souls of thousands of Jedi came and went around him as the sunlight bore through the large windows, hitting decorative statues and casting shadows along the marble floor.

Hands behind his back, hair swept over, the Jedi had a content look on his face.

Images of his friends floated through his minds eye as he walked up a winding staircase to the meditation chambers that resided at the top of the Temple. Time for his usual ritual before training.

Coci Sinopi was like a sister to him, but she was spending so much time with Thurion Heavenshield, that was fair enough. They had more important things to do that spend time with Connor to be fair.

A low rumble could be heard outside, but soon went.

The Jedi Nima Tann was a right pain sometimes, but she didn't know any better. Connor was the cause of all her misery and heartache, but at least she forgave him to be fair.

A roar passed by outside, fading into the distance.

To be honest, Syala didn't really need him as a Master. He'd forced her on a path she wasn't ready for - giving her choices that were too much for her answer. She blamed him for the pain, which was fair enough.

Connor looked around and smiled at the peace of the Temple, his boots softly clicking on the floor as he hit the next lot of stairs.

Corvus Raaf. Dear Corvus. The light in Connor's eye and such great company - brave and beautiful and the embodiment of good. But, she was only giving Connor attention because she pitied him, which was fair enough.

A series of dull thuds shook the Temple gently.

Grandmaster Iella E'ron and Sochi Ru. They had died, but he had done all he could to help them. Still, it was all his fault to be fair.

A number of sharp blasts could be heard. Connor crested the stairwell to find the meditation chamber nothing but rubble, and roof gone and instead a planet ravaged by fire, smoke and chaos. He walked through the smoking rubble and looked over Coruscant as warships passed by overhead, bombs dropped on buildings in the distance, and ground troops engaged in combat down below like ants.

Connor stood before it all. Behind him came Darth Arcanix, placing a hand on his shoulder.


"It is done, my Lord. The Sith have taken the system."


"NO!"

With a cry, Connor shot bolt upright and groaned in pain, falling straight back, holding his chest, and his hands trembling were quickly shoved under his armpits to hide the burns.

The dusk was drawing in on a planet, he - Selucami? Where was she? Breathing and lying back on the soft grass, Connors blue eyes looked up to the sky, his head throbbing and body stiff and covered with a blanket of some sort. It hurt to open his eyes for long, and so they shut and he swallowed down little saliva in a dry throat.

"S...Sy? Co..."

He sighed.


[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Sorry, just me," Taeli whispered, she was still exhausted from the exertion of the spell and the Force flowing through her like that. The sooner she got in touch with her sister about joining her, the better. Looking at his body language, even if he was still pretty beaten up, she smiled a little and placed a hand on his knee.

"How are you feeling, Connor?" she asked. She also hadn't bothered to re-mask her presence, letting the full aura of the Light surround her. It was going to be increasingly harder to place that shell back on, because she was enjoying the feeling of showing her true self. Her glasses had shattered on the rock when she had been blasted by his attack, but she had needed a new pair anyways.
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
His eyes stayed closed. Connor knew full well what had happened, but like someone looking through two-way mirror, it was like he couldn't stop it. But, did he want to?

"Arcanix?"

Rolling onto his side, his breathing blowing out small grains of dust on the floor, Connor tried to control it as even talking just made him feel the urge to. He couldn't stop it.

Pushing up on his elbows and scrambling forward away from the voice, he wretched; torso tightening and helping him be sick. It was just liquid, but near black and laced with dark crimson. The sweat beaded on his head straight away - twice, three times he was sick.

Spitting to the floor, he lowered his head. His body was shaking and he was so hot. The taste of iron filled his mouth and he sank down, giving up on everything, his breathing laboured and not comfortable.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Well I guess that answers that question," Taeli sighed as she watched him wretch over and over again. Not exactly the most pleasant scene, but to be expected. His body had went through a lot in a short space of time.

"And please, just call me Taeli," she continued saying, wincing as she moved too much and the burns stretched a bit. They both were in need of some bacta right now.

"On the plus side, you're free of the magic Matsu placed with you," she added with a small smile. "Although I'm guessing you've been through the wringer considering the magic had taken root through your body, not just your brain. But it should be gone now, so you'll be feeling better for that at least. And I'm rambling, sorry, family trait!"

She fell silent as a slight blush rose on her cheeks, mostly from embarrassment, and from concern over Connor's condition and the idea forming in her head.
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
As Taeli spoke, Connor wanted to be sick again but swallowed the feeling and breathed slowly and deeply. He sat up, hunched forward and legs crossed. He turned and pushed some of the sandy grit over his sick - it was embarrassing and not the most pleasant place to be. Looking at his hands as he did, he turned back and inspected the burns and redness to the fingers.

"I felt powerful. I felt like I actually...embraced the Force."

He glanced up over to where Taeli was and he looked at her wincing.

"You're hurt Arcanix - oh my god - "

Shuffling in pain, Connor itched the back of his head and moved up to his knees trying to help Taeli, but unsure what to do or where to help. It was clear he wasn't paying attention to what had just happened, as if he had just woken up from a nightmare. He hadn't even clicked her name was actually being used for the first time with sincerity.

"We've got to get you treated, do you have anything - " he swallowed that feeling again," - anywhere you can go? I have to get back and sort this mess out."

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I'll be fine, I've taken far worse hits from Force Lightning," she said, shrugging it off and wincing again. "Not that it's ever pleasant to be on the receiving end of it."

Noting he still called her Arcanix, she sighed again and said, "Please, just Taeli. As you can probably feel, some things changed for me since we last met."

She did feel a bit worried about his idea that he had truly embraced the Force by using the dark side, but she could address that later. A part of her brain said something else, and she promptly shut that train of thought down, but couldn't suppress the blush again.

"Connor, other than feeling sick, do you feel anymore of the Sith Magic in you?" She asked. She was fairly certain she got everything.
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
Connor nodded at her instruction of the name - a sign of her taking steps towards the Light and banishing the Dark. How ironic she was now here trying to help a man edging closer to self-destruction. He nodded, as in auto-pilot, taking in her wounds; taking in the strange location and oasis; taking in the aches and sores he felt.

She asked the question, and the effects of the Sith in general came flooding back. The magic, the death, the betrayal, the hurt.

He swallowed, and looked at the floor between them, and then up to the sky, like he was looking for something. It was his lip that started to go first, and he swallowed again. He looked at Taeli, and two tears dropped. He shook his head. He couldn't hold it in.

"What have I become - "

A gasp of breath escaped his lips and he gently sobbed; not an uncontrollable flood of tears, but more like a cry with little sound, choking him up with the emotion of what had happened in his life recently coming out at once.

"...why me? Why ME?!"

The anger came back to his voice and he let out a muted growl between gritted teeth as he buried his face into his sore palms. The tears came.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

Not knowing what to say, she simply made her way over to the sobbing Jedi and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a shoulder to cry upon. She could relate to what he was going through, she had faced much the same turmoil . . . Back then.

"We're all tested in some way, or life has a way of throwing challenge after challenge at us until we break," Taeli muttered quietly. "It's what we do after that defines us, whether we fall or get back up. You have no idea how strong you really are Connor. It took that magic this long to break you, many would have broken years ago."

Holding him closer, she whispered, "Don't fall . . . Get back up . . ."
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
Not wanting to embrace someone he was so confused by already - a Sith who didn't feel like a Sith; was she luring him to admit his failings? Hadn't he come here for that - Connor rested his brown on her shoulder and looped his arms under hers and held onto each shoulder, as if clinging on to a lifeline.

Holding someone close to comfort them hadn't happened for Connor in years, not like this. Embracing someone as a mentor, a sister, a friend - everyone did that. But to embrace someone yourself in weakness, in need of that feeling there was SOMEONE there, that never happened.

The crying stemmed slightly, and it gave way to sheer weakness and muted sobs, empty sound that was his body reacting both in shock and distress.

"I've...I've been tested before and failed, and then...I made amends. And now it's happened again worse than ever.. " his fingers moved and gripped Taeli; a lifeline, ", and it's time for me to accept I'm not worth walking the path...of a Jedi. I've failed too often, you can't keep failing..."

His fingers relaxed, his body went limp and he turned his head on her shoulder and looked out at the oasis. Letting himself down would be nothing compared to everyone else he'd let down.

"I've already fallen. You need to help me understand the Dark Side. Not as....Sith, but something more like you are. We can do it together."

So peaceful and full of life, it was relaxing to watch, he himself supported by those arms that could save him and give him purpose.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

"You haven't fallen yet, Connor Harrison," Taeli whispered. "I would know . . . you're confused and standing at the crossroads of your life, maybe more than you realized, and not sure which way to go."

Taking a steadying breath, she placed a hand to his temple, and continued with an even quieter whisper, "I'm going to show you a few things . . . and let you see what a true fall to the dark side looks like . . . and what the dark side can do . . ."

With that said, she allowed two specific memories to swell up in her mind, and she sent them gently for Connor to view.

"Excuse me, you're in the way," she said, trying to push them.

'If you want to pass, you gotta pay a toll," one boy, a Kiffar judging by the tattoo on his face, smugly said.

"What's the toll?" she sighed.

"A kiss for each of us," the other boy, a normal Lorrdian leered.

"How about you both get out of my way and I don't hurt you?" Taeli replied sweetly, but her fists were clenched and she could feel her annoyance bubbling up inside.

"Then we'll just take the toll," the Kiffar boy laughed, making a hand gesture.

Confused by the gesture, she took a defensive stance her mother taught her, dropping the package of datapads at her feet as she did. That was when two large arms wrapped around shoulders, holding her back and stopping her from fighting.

"Let me go!" she yelled, panic and anger making her voice higher.

"Not a chance," a voice growled in her ear and by straining her neck, she could see the person holding her was a Mandalorian boy that she had bested in a fencing duel. "You owe me something for that humiliating defeat. You stripped me of some honor, and now my friends and I will strip you of yours."

The other two boys came forward and she could feel them running their hands along her body. Her panic, shame, and anger were revolving inside of her and it was making her lose control.

"No! Stop! Please!" she yelled, hoping someone might hear her predicament from the street, but there was no one nearby.

"This is what you get," the Mandalorian boy growled, roughly kissing her ear and biting it. His companions began to try and slip their hands under clothes. She continued to struggled even more, her panic blazing ever brighter and her anger and hate of the boys kept growing and growing. Like a dam breaking inside of her, the rage she felt unleashed itself.

The two boys in front of her were thrown backwards by an unseen force, landing heavily on their backs. The boy holding her also was blasted backwards, but he recovered his footing and looked at Taeli in shock. Before he could say anything, Taeli instinctively raised her hand and threw him on top of his two friends. Her eyes were blazing as she advanced on her would-be rapists. The three boys scrambled to their feet, trying to get away from the enraged girl, but Taeli would not allow them to escape without punishment.

Again, through instinct, she reached out and gripped each boy by the throat with the same unseen force, lifting and choking them. The boys started making gurgling sounds as their eyes pleaded for mercy, but they would find none as she increased the pressure on their throats.

"You're an or'dinii," the Mandalorian boy was able to gasp out.

Knowing exactly what she had just been called, Taeli's eyes blazed with anger as she completely let herself go. Twisting her hand, she heard the satisfying pop of the Lorrdian and Kiffar's necks breaking and she dropped their bodies to alley floor. Walking directly up to the still struggling Mandalorian, she removed the beskade from his belt.

A few minutes later, Taeli was blinking rapidly as her bloodlust dissipated and she took in the sight in front of her. Two of the boys were on the ground their necks at odd angles, their eyes unseeing. It was what had happened to the third boy that made her recoil against the wall and stare at her bloody hands and the bloody saber clenched in them. The Mandalorian boy had his nose, ears, hands, and feet removed and scatted around his torso. Small cuts were across his body and had finished with a long slash across his throat.

"What have I done?" Taeli whispered. "What have I done? What have I done?" She kept repeating this mantra over and over again, staring at the bodies and unable to look away."

Gasping a bit from seeing that again, she sent the second memory as well.

Palpable waves of Force energy starting lashing out around her as she closed her eyes, tears falling thick and fast now. Her world, her support that had been her parents, had crumbled. She wanted to scream, to rage, to cry, to laugh, to . . . it was too much. Too much!

"Too much!!!!" she screamed, the Force energy rocketing out of her and smashing everything in its path. Pieces of china, knick knacks, datapad, and other small objects started flying through the air. Her 'parents' were thrown backwards over the couch and into the wall behind them, yelling in pain from the impact. Taeli couldn't comprehend anything, her entire focus was on the fact her parents had just told her she wasn't their daughter anymore, that they hated her. . .

Another shockwave of Force energy rocketed out from around her, she had no control over the outpouring of energy, she couldn't even say if it was a technique she knew. It was simple raw instinct and power lashing out as she collapsed to her knees. The furniture nearest her exploded into splinters and shredded cushions, the debris rocketing around the room in an almost whirlwind fashion. No control . . . no control at all . . .

"Taeli!" Jakon yelled, straining against the storm that their daughter was radiating. While he hated what she became, and he agreed with his wife, right now his fatherly instinct was kicking in. His daughter was having an emotional collapse right in front of him, because of them and this was far different than last time.

Melarna had never seen a Force User lose control like this, their daughter was incredibly powerful. She was now more concerned than ever, but she couldn't move. The energy exploding out from their daughter was too much to move against.

Hearing her father's voice, the voice of someone who she loved that hated her now, that has cast her aside easily, just made it worse. Another, even stronger, wave exploded out from her and she screamed, "TOO MUCH!!!!" The latest wave of energy blew apart everything around her, huge shards of the floor and walls were now being whirled around, the ceiling cracking as the energies blew everything apart. Melarna and Jakon could only watch as several large shards of permacrete and steel ripped from the walls and headed their way.

It was several minutes later, long painful minutes for Taeli before she was able to regain control of her powers and regain her awareness of her surroundings. Blinking slowly, tears still falling she could see her parents stuck to the wall, shards of debris in their body.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," she sobbed, almost crawling to where her parents, the ones she had known anyways, were now pinned to the wall . . . dead.

"NOOOOOOO!" she yelled, unable to comprehend she had killed them, to even think it. But the proof was there, and as she she sobbed uncontrollably, she rolled into a ball and cried.

Whispering quietly, she said, "You gave into your darkness, yes, but that is not a true fall. Corvus gave into it once, briefly, but she is still a Jedi and following that path. What you are, Connor Harrison, is human, and we humans always make mistakes. Don't give up on yourself when there are people who believe in you. . ."

Her voice trailed off for a moment, to let him contemplate what she showed him.
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
Closing his eyes as the Force flowed through his mind, free from the Sith Magic, Connor just what Taeli had. The attack, the threat of being abused and killed, great loss and despair - all the traits that the Dark Side could latch onto to give an easy way out.

Fear. Anger. Hate. Suffering.

His eyes flicked behind eyelids, the swell of emotion causing him to jolt sharply as the nightmarish visions played out for him and he couldn't stop it. Taeli's soft words brought him out of him in what felt like hours, but had only ben seconds, like a bad dream.

Still on his knees, Connor blinked and exhaled loudly, falling back on his hands slightly as he looked up at Taeli, studying her with nothing but confusion.

"You...you were acting in self defence, it wasn't your fault. You were going to die - and your parents, that wasn't anything you could have stopped. You were alone and hurt with nothing to help you..."

He wiped his mouth in contemplation.

"Everything has happened to make me see what I am, and I have not felt the pain like you, and yet here I am giving in to everything that creates a monster. But yet, you don't feel like I remember, Taeli...what has happened to you?"

It seemed their roles were blurring and the see-saw of fate was at work for the two again.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

"A lot of things," she replied quietly. As she had been pulling away, she caught a glimpse of what had triggered the Sith Magic. "Mainly just being around my sister, but some acts of the Sith horrified me. I was forced into a difficult situation and had to betray a friend to save my youngest sister from being left without an older sister and becoming a monster. I brought her back to life though, but it changed something in me."

Looking up at the quickly darkening sky, she continued saying, "I had been acting selflessly, thinking not of myself, but my family and friends. It sparked a light in me that kept growing and growing until . . . Well . . . I changed to what I am now."

"I've been trying to make amends for anything I've done, because I realized, as much as my life has been pain, I'm not a monster like the Sith. I never was. It just took me awhile to realize that."

Looking at Connor, she smiled and said, "You're not a monster either, you're human. Are you the perfect Jedi? No, but then what does define the perfect Jedi? Plus, you weren't responsible for what happened to your friend. Sorry, I caught a glimpse of what happened when I sent those memories to you. There was nothing you could have done against that dark sider."
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
Connor wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his chin on his knee, studying her. There was no use in letting the Force help, because right now he felt exhausted and didn't want to even try to use something that he had just summoned to try and kill her.

Glancing at his fingers, he gently rubbed the skin together and noticed the flesh was red, and small blisters had formed. Connor grimaced and clenched his fists. He hadn't heard of Sith making a move towards the Light. Arcanix - Taeli - had always been different from other Sith he had encountered and always wanted to help him be it for some other gain. But there was nothing coming of her in the form of aggression, malice...it was so confusing.

"Your sister defines the perfect Jedi. Never thinking about herself, always thinking about others. Selfless, noble and always there to help. The Raaf gene, I think, is strong enough for you to follow that. With two of you on the side of Light...god help the Darkness."

He smiled, for the first time, be it a small one. Turning his head, he rested and looked at her again.

"Thank you Taeli, but I could have saved her. If I'd have taken control and followed my instinct to help her and not ignore the..." he shook his head. "Never mind."

The pyre on Felucia was still probably still burning for her, but it was even more probably no-one had noticed he had left. Why would they?

"Do you have somewhere we can go and tend to your burns? You need aid and I could use some water, if that's no trouble. I need to get back and...sort this mess out."

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Yes, my ship is nearby and it has a small medbay and kitchen area," Taeli said, helping Connor to his feet and supporting his weight if he was still feeling unwell. As they walked, or in Taeli's case, walked and winced with every step, she couldn't help but look at the man she had become, admittedly, enamored with.

"You know, you might consider yourself having fallen, but someone who fell wouldn't be concerned about someone else's wounds," she said, a sly smile on her lips. "I'm sorry for your friend, I really am. I know just how painful such a loss can be, and where it can lead someone, as you saw. But, you really couldn't have done anything to save her more than you did. From what I saw in those few flashes, she was pretending to be an unhinged slave. You didn't think anything of it because there were no signs to the contrary except perhaps an uneasy feeling in your gut."

Coming in view of her Sicarius infiltrator, she used the Force to lower the ramp and helped him up it to the medbay.

"Now, you first since I wasn't the one puking out my guts," she said, pushing him onto the examination table gently. Taking some water out of a small storage container, she handed it to him while also getting burn salve for his hands. Rubbing it on her hands a little bit, she took his hands in hers.

Applying it herself, and just as gently, she continued in a quieter voice, "You're not going dark Connor, you might think you are, but you aren't. I deserved the shock you gave me, even if I'm trying to make amends with myself. I realized . . . the light side is better. It can be harder to follow, and sometimes people will slip up, even Corvus, but it's worth it in the end. You also might think no one cares what happens to you, but I would disagree. There are people who care for you, and will support you in your struggles."

An ever so slight blush was in her cheeks as she tended to his hands, the part of her brain not thinking about his crisis was certainly paying attention to how warm and strong they felt. No, she wasn't going to let such things distract her right now.

"
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
C
Both wounded warriors helped each other. Connor was in better shape physically but less mentally than Taeli. Taeil was in better shape mentally but less physically than Connor. The two walked, supporting each other, to reach the impressive spear-head-like ship that welcomed them away from the cool air outside. The moments of Sochi's death replayed over and over in his head - seeing her impaled on her own blade, and the attack from the animalistic Sith that had burnt his chest and wounded him worse than any Sith Lightning would do. It was no wonder he had embraced the power to use the attack as he had been on the receiving end of it so much.

He didn't take much notice of the surroundings, his mind still swirling and rippling like a dirty puddle that had been stepped in; did the dirt gel back together or did the fresh water take over and sink the grime. Sitting on the examination table, still partly distant to everything, he lifted the cap from the water and took a mouthful. It felt good. Clean. Refreshing. Pure.

"No-one will want to support me. I'm a liability now to myself and others. I'm dangerous. I'm a ticking time-bomb, and you've already tasted what I can do."

Connor watched her hands apply the ointment on his burns and listened to her, feeling like a lost Padawan rather than a confident Master. To say this woman was now embracing the Light was a peculiar thing. It wasn't a total surprise having a sister like Corvus; she could make a wild Rancor become a Jedi Knight if she really tried.

"If what you say is true, Taeli, about your view of the Light, than I truly am sorry for attacking you. I can say it was something I know I did, but I don't condone it. You have made a brave choice - ow -" he winced at the application, " - but if not, then, maybe you could teach me how the Sith operate?"

He looked at her, turning his head like a curious child, a little fire back in those cold eyes.

"Let me understand how they work, how they act - I can take them down one Sith at a time, and restore some balance to the amount of Jedi they've taken from me. You can help me, you can teach me, Taeli."

It was a dangerous time - not knowing if this was the real Connor talking, or the residue of the nightmare he had been living.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

Looking directly into his eyes as he put forth his question and request, she studied them carefully, but not for the other reason. She was looking for something specifically related to the question he asked. Her hands were still on top of his, the burn salve starting to kick in hopefully to soothe away the burns his amateur use of Force Lightning had caused.

"No need to apologize, I did have it coming from our first encounter," she said, a small smile quirking up on her lips before it settled again. "You aren't a liability though, I think you'd be surprised who is still behind you and wants to see you be the best Jedi you can be."

Still . . . she needed to address the behemoth in the room, his request to learn from things about the Sith. She wasn't sure if he was looking for theory, just some general information, or actual lessons. She was not adverse to using what she knew, small spells and such, but everytime she did, it hurt just that little bit more. She understood why Alex avoided using the dark side as she did.

"Let me explain something to you before I even address your request," she said, her head tilted as well as she looked into his eyes still without blinking. She liked seeing that fire in his eyes, but she wanted to be absolutely certain it still wasn't a hold over from earlier. She was still determined that he wasn't going to fall on her watch, he was going to stay on the path of the Jedi if she had her way about it. "Sith, and dark-siders in general, are usually selfish when it comes to things. They like to hoard their knowledge and look after their own well-being, perfectly willing to sacrifice anything and anyone if it means they keep their power."

Leaning back a bit, her hands still over his, she continued, never breaking eye contact.

"I could never do that, and I don't think you could either. I place too much stock in family and friends, and you do too. I know you want revenge for what happened to your friends, but I know that is not the way to go. There is a fine line between justice and vengeance, and you harrowing off on your own will NOT fill the void your friends' deaths have created. Do you think I still grieve for those I have lost? Every single day, but the love and compassion I feel for those who remain are easily there to remind me that I have people that care for me in turn."

Getting up, she started to pace slowly in front of him. She was on a roll now.

"The Sith . . . the Sith and the dark side are corruptive in general, the power they offer addicting. It's quick and easy, and highly destructive. Lightning, Drain, Storm, alchemy, sorcery, just to name a few things. They all are quite powerful in their own right, not to mention how the dark side increases one's combat abilities because of the increased aggression and anger they can pull upon. You've seen first hand what it can do . . . and yet, using the light I was I able to defeat you when you felt at your strongest. The dark side is heavily flawed, I realize that now, and yes it offers pathways to many unnatural abilities, but it is a lonely road and eventually someone will bring you down because they desire your power and you'll realize just how empty the power really was."

Turning around to look at him, she pointed a finger right at his heart.

"Do you think you could live like that? Foregoing any true attachments and friends for fear of the knife in the back, only caring about your own power and position? I couldn't, and I doubt you could. You think you fell, but trust me, you haven't fallen to the dark side. As I said, you're at a crossroads, but if you pursue vengeance, you'll become something you will never recognize when you look in the mirror."

Striding forward, her finger right over his heart, she whispered, "Don't throw away the light simply because you think no one will support you in your life as a Jedi." Her finger became her open palm against his heart, and she could distinctly hear her own beating a little faster. "You have a good heart Connor, you aren't an instrument of vengeance or of darkness . . . we, both you and I, other Jedi, and everyday people, must fight against the darkness within us and it's hard. It really is. But the things that are worth it . . . are worth the struggle. The light is just that."
 

Connor Harrison

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C
While Taeli talked, Connor looked at three things:

First – his hands. Slightly shiny from the gel coating them, being applied by the reformed Sith. A warning that his actions were painful to himself and others, but that they were defining. Even now, someone was helping treat the burn, so in spite of everything, he had help.

Second – Taeli Raaf. The woman who had attacked him, and thus he had attacked her. Now dripping words in his ear about how she was seeking redemption in the Light away from the Dark, radiating peace in her Force aura that Connor didn’t need to try to pick up on. She was focused on him, talking him down from the edge while tending to his pain. She was an ally, either way. Did he trust her? It didn’t matter – she couldn’t hurt him either way she aligned herself.

Third – the floor. Cold and dark, it was perfect for Connor to look on and try to blank out the words he didn’t want to hear, and the guilt he didn’t want to feel, and the emotion he didn’t want to acknowledge.

”Thank you, but listen to me, ok?” he spoke up as she pressed on his chest.

Even under the armor now bearing signs of scorch marks, his chest rose and fell softly with each breath, her hand moving up and down. He focused on the floor with his eyes, but it was clear his head was trying to bring up and look towards Taeli, but his eyes wouldn’t move as he started to speak.

”You have family and friends. I do not. I have allies and colleagues. That’s it. I have no-one to atone to or strive to please, except me. That is most important. If I don’t stay true to myself, there is no point living.”

He took Taeli’s hand and this time cupped it in his, glancing up, but again falling to the floor as he held her.

”I don’t want to use the Force to gain power, or to become something I am not. I simply need to acknowledge I am not suitable to walk the path of the Jedi. Mistakes have been made and I will always remember moments that have shaped me and those who have fallen, but I want to use this for good – to eradicate the Sith and lead others in doing so.”

The confidence came to look at her this time.

”I am fed up of standing around and doing nothing. The Sith have struck TWICE at my Order and taken two Masters from me, and what do we do? We stand around and cry and talk and deliberate, but we don’t ACT. I can’t do that anymore. I need to become the figure I was always destined to be, and I can simply do what I need to do in order to lead the attack.”

He slid off the table and patted it for Taeli to take up sitting on if she wanted, a smile breaking on his lips as he began to speak with more passion.

”Trust me. I can DO this. I’m thinking clearly for the first time in years – I can be the one thing the others can’t – a weapon against evil without fear of losing anything or anyone anymore. I can save others from pain – I can be the guardian I said I would become.”

With a gentle shake of her hand, Connor nodded to Taeli.

”Do you believe me, that I can do this?”

[member="Darth Arcanix"]
 
[member="Connor Harrison"]

Standing there, him wanting her to hop onto the examination table, and telling her he wanted to be the sword in the night to cut down the Sith, she wanted to do two things. One, slap him for being an idiot. Two, kiss him to show he truly did have something to live and be in the light for. He had others as well, she had met them after all.

So . . . a hand came up to slap him across the face as she sat down on the table, her purple eyes boring into his gray.

"That was for being a stubborn fool that needs some sense knocked into him. I could believe in you, I want to believe in you, I DO believe in you," she said, her eyes blazing with a passion. "But excuse me for noticing that someone wasn't fully paying attention to what I said, so pay attention this time and look me. In. the. eye.

"You say you have just allies and colleagues, but I know you don't have just those. Corvus is a friend. Your apprentice is a friend and someone who WANTS to follow you and learn from you. That Twi'lek girl is a friend. Your fellow masters in the Silver Jedi are friends. But you, Connor Harrison, you want to go raring off and start killing Sith. To be a sword in the dark, fight fire with fire hmm? Well guess what, history says its been tried before and you know what happened? Let me spell it out for you."

She was gathering a head of steam, she knew that, but she was on a roll and couldn't be stopped now.

"Ulic Qel-Droma, tried to infiltrate and fight against the Krath and the Sith using their own techniques and such, he ended up turning to the Sith instead and it took him losing the Force and teaching a friend's daughter to actually reconnect with the light while he wallowed in his failure on Rhen Var. Quillan Vos, another Jedi who infiltrated the Sith during the Clone Wars, he ended up corrupted and changed and it took the woman he loved and his friends to drag him out of that quagmire that Tyranus made. There are other examples, but every time a Jedi goes raring off as a lone crusader against the Sith or tries to infiltrate them or fight darkness with darkness, they become the very thing they swore to destroy."

Legs swinging underneath her, her purple eyes still locked on his gray.

"Mistakes make you human, Connor Harrison. The greatest of Jedi have fallen into darkness, Luke Skywalker, Jaina Solo, Kyle Katarn, Kyp Durron, and so many others. They got back up from their encounter with the dark, and came back as better Jedi in the end. But, here you stand, saying you have nothing to lose and no one behind you that would mourn you if you became this weapon and if something happened to you. A Sword of the Jedi has been a thing in the past, but Jaina Solo realized that you CANNOT CUT YOURSELF OFF FROM EVERYONE WHO ACTUALLY CARES FOR YOU! SO EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU ARE WRONG!"

With that, and unable to stop herself this time, she pulled him forward into a kiss. She would show him that he had someone who cared for him, someone who wanted what was best for him. He might not care for her that way, but she sure as well did for him. It had happened over time for her, just his constant presence in her mind that just intrigued her and slowly made her fall for him from a distance, even as a Sith. She wanted him to see that.
 

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