Checkmate

[Connor Harrison]

Throwing the cover over, Connor wiped his hair back and ran both hands over his face as he chuckled.

"You know, you really do have that Raaf gene."

He laughed for a while longer than he expected and leaned on his elbows, tapping his fingers gently, chewing his bottom lip.

"What do I do, Taeli? I don't think I can back to being who I was before - not after I've done what...I did. I can do more, but how do I use that? I...I don't know where to go. I'm sorry. I don't know if I can even call myself a Jedi."

With a sigh, Connor cursed and stood. He moved to stand in front of Taeli and placed his arms around her and rested his chin on her hair.

"The minute I leave this place, I'm not going to be the same anymore. I'm scared."

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

As he spoke and placed his arms around her, Taeli froze. He had initiated the contact, but she wasn't going to refuse it. Wrapping her arms around his frame, she placed her head against his chest, and she was very aware it was bared.

"Connor . . . I know you think you did something terrible . . . but you really didn't," she whispered. "You're still a Jedi, Connor Harrison. A Jedi Master at that, you wouldn't have reached that title for nothing. We all make mistakes, but you know what, I said I deserved what I got and meant it. Connor . . . I won't be with the Sith much longer, I just have a few things else to get in place before I leave. I'm joining my sister and the Republic . . . you could always come with me if you don't think you have a place among the Silvers."

Unconsciously nuzzling into his chest, she whispered, "We all change Connor, look at me. You met me as this scary and devious Sith Lady, and now I'm on the cusp of becoming a Jedi myself. You aren't the Jedi you came here as . . . but I think you'll grow into a new Jedi. Maybe something like Kyp Durron, he fell to darkness briefly, but he recovered and became the go-to man for special operations for his Order."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor held his arms around her, gently rubbing her back for comfort and rested his chin on her head as the redeemed woman spoke to him. His time wasn't certain with the Silver Jedi anymore - regardless of what power he felt he had and how he wanted to use it away from those who would restrain him, who would trust him?

He'd be the outcast; the volatile one. This wasn't the first time problems had flared up with Connor, and probably wouldn't be the last. An Order could only tolerate so much - they were a group of guardians and warriors first; friends second. Trust was everything.

His eyes widened at the mention of Corvus and he pulled away gently looking towards the door out of her room.

"Oh god, Corvus..." he said breathlessly, ", you can't..."

Connor brought his eyes to Taeli.

"You can't tel her what I've done...she'll never talk to me again, she'll hate me. She's the only friend I've..."his voice trailed away with his gaze.

What was he to do. He wanted to show Corvus love and affection, but she wasn't having any of it. She could easily try to understand emotion, but with Connor it never surfaced. And now Taeli Raaf, the sister, was giving him what he so desperately wanted to take. Connor looked a little scared, and worried, backing away from her, his hand held out.

"Taeli, just let me go, sorry, I can't do this...I can't...I don't know what's happening to me..." he spoke, eyes glazing over and the swell of tears brimmed in his eyes.

To look at his broken body, his dishevelled appearance and upset face, one would think they were looking at a frail mercenary rather than a Jedi Master. He didn't want to hurt anyone; he didn't want to hurt himself, but he wanted to be saved. The barriers in his mind slowly started to come down; the armor started to build up around his heart and his soul.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I won't tell my sister what happened," she replied softly, "you have my word on that. Connor . . . I'm not going to let you go . . . But . . . I'll be here for you in whatever capacity you need me to be."

It killed her to say that, but it was the truth. She could feel him shutting down, but that wouldn't solve anything either. If he shut himself off from everything, he would be little better than a droid.

"Well, before you go, go use the refresher and shave," she said, successfully keeping the image suppressed. "Not that i want you to go, we never finished our game so I propose we finish our question game, outside . . . That is if you want to . . . I'll understand if you want to leave now. . ."

She was hesitant, extremely hesitant, but she really didn't want him to go. Taking a step forward, then another, she continued saying, "Connor . . . let me help you . . ."

 

[Connor Harrison]

As Taeli spoke, Connor moved to his armor, once gleaming with the streaks of silver plates and cortosis. Now it was dull, scorched in places and dented. Like him. It took him a moment to fix the armor over his torso, pulling up the gauntlets on his arms and tightening it around his waist. The neck plate was open, he needed air through his body as much as possible.

”I’m ok, thank you.”

Kneeling to take his boots, pushing them on over his trousers, he took his lightsaber in one hand and looked at it. The weapon of a Jedi – the extension of a warrior that moved and responded to his command. He had taken many a life with the blue blade, and expected he would take many more. Fixing it to the belt clipped on him, he turned again.

”I need to go.”

He gave a small nod.

”Ask me anything else, to finish our game.”

Then he looked down.

”You can’t help me, Taeli. I can only help myself.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"No, the weird thing about . . . friends and people who care for you is they are always there to help you," she replied, sighing a bit as he looked down. Throwing on a silky robe, she moved out of her room and lowered the ramp of the ship, sitting down on it and gesturing for him to sit next to her. The Saleucami sun was bright and the heat of the day was already beginning to build, but a small breeze kept it from being too hot.

"So my next question is really easy, where were you born and what was your family like?" she asked, going with an easy background question, nothing deep or would elicit any reaction that would facilitate him going all moody again. That was probably the biggest problem in trying to get him to understand his actions. He was so convinced of the way things were that he just couldn't fully accept that maybe he was a different type of Jedi, one as she said, that was more like Kyp Durron.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor waited for the ramp to lower, squinting gently at the warm sun breaking into the ship and sat beside Taeli a few seconds after she indicated next to her. The breeze was refreshing and he inhaled deeply, clearing his mind and his lungs. You couldn't beat a blast of fresh, natural air.

”I was born on Anaxes...and I don't remember much of my family because I was taken to the Republic Jedi Order when my father coaxed me into building these strange moments I had. I could see things before they happened. Not all the time, and nothing major - but any accidents my parents had, I could for-see it. Speeders and ships passing over, I could identify them before they passed. Silly things, but for a young child, it was magical.”

He smiled at the memory of feeling so special.

”From then I was in to a life of the Jedi for all my childhood and young adult life.”

Stopping himself before delving into the first time he "fell" on Rhen Var, he looked at her and gave another pathetic, disarming smile.

”Question. You said I should go to Sorrus - what is there, and why should I go? Be honest.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"That does sound special," Taeli said, her eyes twinkling. "I can't say I had an inate sense for things, but I did have a tinkering mind. Drew a lot of blueprints and made some fun things, like my glasses."

When he asked his question, she couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Ession, not Sorrus," she corrected with a smile. "Sorrus is rather xenophobic and msotly desert, not a fun place. Ession was recently the site of a more militant faction of Jedi known as the Ession Reformation, but I have no idea if they are still active or not. They took heavy losses in the Battle of Kashyyyk, and have been quiet, but it's still a first place for you to start looking if you want to be a more militant Jedi."

She personally didn't think he needed to go that path, plus Ession Jedi had been extremely annoying when she met them. Their hypocrisy had been the main sticking point for her.

"Next question . . . what is your favorite Jedi in history?" she asked. "And don't say you don't have one, everyone has someone from the past they admire."

 

[Connor Harrison]

”Sorry...Ession, yes. Thank you, that sounds interesting but not what I am looking for.”

Lacing his fingers, boots resting on the soft ground below the ramp, he looked outwards to the planet and let her ask the next question. A puzzling one, and one he hadn’t even thought about beforehand; emulating others.

”A favourite…? I, ah, I don’t know if I have a favourite. I am interested by the history of the Skywalker bloodline and also Qel-Droma and Kaan, the paths they took and the legacy they left.”

Connor tapped his thumbs together.

”My turn. Your time with the Sith – give me a name of the one whose head must be cut from the body of the greater beast.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"That would be the Sith Emperor, and no I don't know his name," Taeli said before he asked her. "And before you even ask, no, it's impossible to reach him except for either the Wrath, Voices, Eye, or Hands. I've never met the Emperor, nor do I want to. But I can say, he's more in line with Vitiate than Krayt. The Eye, for instance, has a deep connection to him, almost like a Child of the Emperor sort of thing if you have ever heard of that."

Tapping her chin in thought, she also added, "Plus, he lives deep under the Imperial Palace on Coruscant, hidden by loyal guards and traps and maze and all sorts of things, you'd never get close to him, Connor. Not unless you infiltrated the Sith and rose to one of the previously mentioned roles and that takes a very long time and you'd be too steeped in darkness to want to kill him by then."

Why was he being so bloody stubborn in tearing off for some dang foolish crusade? Apparently, sense was needed restoring in some way, but she wasn't sure how to go about doing that. She would need to keep a very close eye on him, just to make sure he didn't end up in some bad position and ended up dead as well.

"Next question then, if you could do one thing on a perfect date, what would it be?" she asked, fighting the attempt for her blush to return. "And I'm not trying to figure out points or anything, I'm genuinely curious."

 

[Connor Harrison]

In his head played out a number of scenarios – Connor could lead a Ranger attack on the fortress? Could sacrifice the Shadows to get closer to key figures and take out who he could? Call on close allies to help him? But all that would be stopped by Thurion; he wouldn’t trust Connor to do what should be done.

Deflated by Taeli with her blunt, but true, words, Connor blew out his cheeks and thought about anything else he could do to show the Sith that the Jedi weren’t afraid to fight hard and fight dirty and spill blood just like they.

Her next question was easy, because it was something he had given up expecting would happen.

”If there was one thing I could do on a perfect date? It would be to not be a disappointment to her, in a way I had been with everyone else.”

He looked at her, those violet eyes full of hope. The corner of his lip twitched upwards and his eyes fell to the floor.

”Question. Will you wait for me, until I come back?”

Connor knew what he meant, but wondered how Taeli interpreted that.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I don't think you disappoint a girl on a date, Connor," Taeli replied, her lips breaking into a full and radiant smile. His question had double meanings, one for him and one for her. No . . . scratch that, there were three meanings behind that question.

"To answer your question . . . yes, I'd wait for you, in all meanings of the phrase," she said, her eyes sparkling. "Although I sense I'm going to need to slap you next time we meet when we finish up here for going off on some damn foolish crusade all on your lonesome."

She meant that, every word. She would wait for him in any context he desired or she hoped for. Was it corny? As corny as a row of crops on Garqi, but it was true. He might harbor feelings for Corvy, but she had a feeling that a man could only do so much before those things shifted to someone else. Someone who wanted to be with him . . . but she would be patient and be there in whatever role she needed to fill.

"My next question is . . . what do you think of the new/old me?"

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor near giggled under his breath, a grin forming like a little schoolboy at her nice words. He didn’t feel he would be the most stimulating company on a date, but at least the thought was there from her.

It gave him a boost to hear she would wait for him…in a number of ways. Support was what he needed, not wanted, and for everything he was doing and had done, Taeli was still here smiling and supporting him. That support, initially, felt that he wasn’t yet doomed.

Doomed as a Jedi, possibly. Doomed as a person? Not yet.

Another easy question asked by this sister, and one that he didn’t need to think about how to answer because a portion of it was what he had explained to the other.

”I like the new you. In fact, it’s hard to imagine years ago we tried to kill each other, I mean, really?”

He laughed and reached out to take her and, holding it up in his left and placing his right palm down on hers.

”There has always been good in you, a want to do right, and now you are doing so. It suits you, his path. It makes you shine, just like your sister. A beacon of light in a dark world we will do well to follow. Selfless, caring, knowledgeable and beautiful.”

Rubbing his palm on hers, he gave a sharp sigh as a wave of anxiety swept over him; and for a moment he felt like everything was going to implode around him.

”I should go. I need to finish this, one way or the other.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

As much as she was basking in him rubbing her hand . . . okay, she was reveling in it for a number of reasons, she tutted a bit. Every time he got close to do something a bit more . . . well . . . affectionate, he would get all anxious and want to leave. Interesting . . . did she make him nervous or were there feelings inside . . . she would need to watch all the more then.

"I like the new me too, and I never tried to kill you," she said, and actually stuck her tongue out at him for a moment. "Only meant to knock you unconscious on Nar Shaddaa. YOU'RE the one who threw a table at me that would have knocked me over the edge of the railing and broken my spine if I landed wrong."

There was teasing tone in her voice though, she was making it quite clear there was no bad blood over that issue. If anything, it was what had led them here to talk. Funny how that worked.

"No leaving yet, we haven't finished our game, it's your turn to ask a question," she said, her eyes sparkling still and a smile fixed on her lips.

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a little wince, and a chuckle, Connor shrugged off the retort about their first meeting all those eons ago it felt.

”Let’s agree to disagree shall we? You shouldn’t have even been there in the first place.”

But his smile soon went; he was forgetting what he was even doing anymore, he was too comfortable. Her attempt to delay him was working, but it wasn’t getting anything accomplished.

”Ok. Last question.”

Connor stood up as his hands trailed off from hers. He groaned quiet as he stood with the muscles still quite tender after all the physical stress. Stepping under the ramp hatch to be in the warmth of the Salucamei sun, he turned to Taeli, still seated on the ramp.

”Will you promise me, no matter what happens, you will be careful out there? To be the best Jedi you can possibly be, and just…be careful. Please.”

She had come a long way, and she had proven she was stronger than Connor and many other people he had met in his time. Now, the last thing he wanted was for her to be hurt by the Sith or taken away. He had probably lost one Raaf sister after this, he couldn’t afford to lose another.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I might be driven by my curiosity to go tomb-diving or some other rather dangerous quest for lost knowledge and artifacts, but I'm not silly like that," she replied, looking at him in the sun, and just for a moment, the Force showed her something wonderful. The way everything was around him seemed to align just right and the Force whispered to her she need only be patient and be there for him.

"I promise I'll be the best Jedi I can be and I'll be careful, and I won't tell Corvus what happened here, our little secret," Taeli replied, a smile still on her lips. Getting up slowly, she came up to him and hugged him. One might think it was to be one last gesture of her affection, and it was, but it was also to slip something onto his armor. A small transmitter that would tie in with her datapad so she could see what he was up to, something she had been working on for the Sith Assassins as it was almost undetectable, but she felt another organization might appreciate it more.

"Now I want a promise from you," she said, her hand spread across his breastplate again. Beaten and dinged up but still holding, just like how she hoped Connor would remain. Maybe not beaten and dinged up, okay he would be beaten up for doing something foolish, but he needed to stay strong. "Promise me that you will be careful, you will be smart, and you won't let yourself fall into that darkness again. The magic is gone so you're emotions and thoughts will start to even out again. Just . . . promise me . . . promise me that you won't go tearing off and biting off more than you can take."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor actually listened to each word said, and let it sink in. Yes he was still angry and frustrated…but at what, now? Himself? The Silvers? He nearly had killed Taeli and she was still standing by him – why couldn’t he find that missing link to stand tall himself.

When she hugged him, he let out a small contented sigh and hugged her back leaning his cheek on her hair and closing his eyes. She made her request, and he felt a genuine concern and care for him – and also a belief.

”I promise you.”

She was right. She had taken the source of the Sith Magic away and he had to regain control over his own emotion and sense of duty again. He had flaws, he had different ways of acting as a Jedi – but that was what defined him, and her words made him see that.

Pulling back, he cupped her cheeks in his hands, gradually healing but bearing small scars on the fingers, and kissed her on the forehead. He then lowered his head to rest his brow on the top of hers, trying to let her hope through the Force empower him to face his fears.

”I shan’t be long, Taeli.”

And with that, he slowly drew his hand down her cheek and turned without looking her in the eyes, because if he did he would likely be hit with guilt of worrying someone who wanted him to be safe. With purpose, he walked carefully out from her ship and ended up passing the oasis, not looking to the rock that still bore black scorches where he had attacked her.

There were two places he could choose to go. Time to make the choice.

[member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I shan't be long, Taeli," he said and he started to walk away, purpose filling his stride again. The embrace had been nice, but the touch of his lips on her forehead had left a tingling sensation in that spot. She hoped what had occurred here, even their fight, had helped him in some small way. She would wait . . . she had learned patience a long time ago at the heel of her father and at school.

"Please don't take too long," she muttered to herself, turning to ascend the ramp of her ship, but throwing one last look at the slowly shrinking figure of Connor as he made his way back to that tiny little E-Wing he called a ship. There were so many things left to do, but she would handle them quickly. Time was drawing near now, the time for her to change her life approaching rapidly now.

Jotting up a quick note to herself, she started typing away at her datapad for a moment, pulling up the destinations he was likely to go to. So many to pick from . . . and she would be ready to respond to any predicament he found himself in. She had forgotten to show him her newest toy, but she could do that another time. The bracer lay nearby, and as she picked it up, she jotted a few more ideas down.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ifhBG2kHgM

Climbing up the side of the E-wing with the wind picking up around him, Connor noted the smattering of sand inside the cockpit having failed to close it on his exit the day before. Ignoring the little things, he slid down into the seat and pulled closed the hatch. Lightsaber down by his side, Connor flicked up the two switches to start the engines with a low roar as it turned over, waiting to leave Selucami.

As a low hum echoed through the cockpit, Connor glanced up out the hatch past the complex and out to Taeli's ship in the distance, a dark silhouette on the horizon.

So much raced through his mind - nearly killing her as he found the power of Force lightning, being exorcised of the Sith Magic, emotions bubbling he hadn't ever felt before...all down to Taeli, former Lady of the Sith. He made a promise he would return, and he'd keep that promise. How, and when, he couldn't say, but first he had a choice to make and a destiny to face.

He had so much to gain, but so much more to lose.

Blowing out a breath as his fingers gripped the yoke, knowing it was now or never, Connor pulled gently back and brought the ship up, and pushed forward to take his E-wing across the landscape with a roar, cutting across low clouds as he did, flying gradually up into the atmosphere...

To Be Continued...​

[member="Darth Arcanix"]