Distractions

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Jacen didn't know the answer to Aela's problems, but he was experienced enough to know that very few people really knew the answers to any difficult, subjective question. That didn't stop people from offering an opinion. He left Aela to her own devices for a few minutes as he deepened his connection with the Force.

His awareness grew and he found he had to shield himself from her own mind whilst he found his centre. Hers was a buzzing insect hive of activity. He idly wondered if that was what he had been like to be around when he suffered from his own anxieties.

With a slow exhalation he immersed himself in the Force. Did he seek its guidance or use it as a tool to find a state where his own mind was clear? Perhaps be would never know some of these philosophical questions. There were Jedi who never touched a lightsaber but would devote their days to such things.

"What is your favourite place in all the Galaxy Aela?" He asked. Even spoken softly it was a baritone sound that filled the small cave. It was accompanied by a brief, reassuring touch of his own presence. Nothing too intrusive. Almost like a physical expression to accompany the words.

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

"Wroosti." She said simply.

Her tone was quick, terse. She wasn't annoyed, not quite, but there was something about the whole situation that made Aela clearly feel uncomfortable. Perhaps she still had trouble accepting Jacen's help, perhaps she thought herself better than this. Either way, there was a great amount of hesitation within her.

"My apartment." Aela continued on. "The first place that was actually mine."

She loved her family dearly, Micah, Malea, Kaili, her mother and father, all of them. She loved being home on Borleias and she loved being with all of them, but the apartment on Wroosti was hers. It was the one place in the galaxy that she felt as though she had something, as though it truly belonged to her.

Aela felt safe there, calm.

Though of course now it seemed so far away.

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

The problem with dealing with someone well studied was that almost any trick he could use she would probably see coming. If he tried to walk her through a place she knew, Aela would see the attempt to try and help into a meditative state and resist. Even if it was only subconsciously.

"I always liked being on Coruscant," he said. His voice had dropped to barely more than a murmur now. "It was the constant noise of people and activity that became almost a percussion to the world rather than an annoying noise. The ebb and flow of people going about their daily lives.

"I imagine it is more peaceful on Wroostri. Everywhere is. Did you like being there teaching classes?"

The silence but for his voice to focus on, the thought of a safe and welcoming place. There was little more he could do to try and help Aela find a moment of peace. He didn't want her to end up as he had become: always looking for something to do to keep his mind busy. Never stopping to let his problems catch up to him. Cowardice had ruined Trextan's upbringing.

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

"I never liked Coruscant." Aela said quietly.

"It was always too loud, chaotic." She took a small breath. Aela remembered well her first trip to the world. It hadn't exactly been under the best circumstances. The strike had been half an invasion, with the Alliance hitting Coruscant while the One Sith attempted to deal their final blow to The Republic. The day had been a success, they'd captured a number of Sith Lords...but she'd never felt particularly good about it. "Everyone screaming to be heard over each other. Speeders crying out..."

She frowned. "It felt like an unorganized mess."

Secretly, in the back of her mind, she'd always been glad she couldn't drive a speeder. She imagined that being at the controls of one of those vessels on Coruscant would be absolutely terrifying. Sure there was a certain order to it all, but she just couldn't understand it.

She paused for a moment, taking a breath.

"I like Wroosti." Aela said with a smile, knowing what Jacen was doing but allowing herself to go along with it anyway. "The younglings were a challenge..."

She smiled. "But it was fun."

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Coruscant didnt seem like the kind of place Aela would enjoy. He couldn't imagine her living in those streets. She got frustrated enough with one stupid person. There were a great deal of stupid people tightly packed together on Coruscant. He tried not to let the thought of Aela's reaction to such a place amuse and distract him.

"They are always a challenge," Jacen said softly. "But it is fun and rewarding. I enjoy seeing them grow. But they are also full of questions and sometimes it is just pleasant to immerse yourself in a place you know and relax."

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

"Jamie had plenty of questions." Aela commented quietly. "I never minded answering them."

She was undoubtedly a massive pool of knowledge.

From a young age Aela had made it her goal to learn as much as she could about as many subjects as she could find. She had always made it a goal to read, study, and learn everything she could get her hands on. It was something that had concerned her parents at first, though she had eventually grown out of it.

"Teaching the younglings was...interesting." A brief smile flashed on her face.

"Sometimes." She began. "Sometimes I think they taught me more of myself."

It was a cliche, but a correct one.

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

"In which case you'll have to borrow some of mine sometime...when you don't have the answers it can be quite the experience to try and learn faster than they do. Could you imagine doing that in more peaceful times? No lingering threats. Just balance, peace and time with your students..."

Jacen trailed off, hopeful that she was slightly more receptive than she had been to start and might find at least a modicum of peace.

As he trailed off as his awareness expanded outwards. Jacen could almost reach out and touch where they were going. It was as if the will of the creators had left an imprint in the Force with their work. At times he could feel that from day to day. A particularly loved toy, a hand-crafted speeder built with love. There was more to them through the Force. There was history too if you had the skill. Jacen didn't. Yet still he felt a sudden flash of horror. Death, fear, failure.

He closed his mind to it before Aela could notice something amiss. He kept his thoughts grounded in the present and let the Force wash over him.

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

"That's what I wanted." Aela said quietly.

She was too consumed with other thoughts to notice Jacen's brief flash of darkness. The idea of peace, of teaching students in a time where there was no war...it was a dream. Her entire life it seemed there was always another battle, always another fight.

Even now there was another war on the horizon, even now the First Order lingered.

"On Wroosti." She said quietly. "All I wanted to do was teach the younglings, but then Mustafar...Jamie."

Aela frowned. "I couldn't leave her, I wouldn't."

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

"Of course you couldn't," Jacen replied softly. "We can't turn our backs on those who need us. When you feel ready we'll go to Wroostri and see how the students are doing."

Jacen fell silent then. It wasn't just an absence of words it was a silence that grew a presence of its own. One that filled the space in the small crevice.

A new Dark Lord who had already taken at least one old stronghold by Force. It wouldn't be long before they would come asking for them both again. But he found himself realising that if he did answer that call, and if Aela didn't, he would still make the time to come and visit her and her students and make sure she was doing well. He hoped that he could see her happy, or at least content again. Jacen wasn't sure he'd be able to tell happiness with Aela.

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

For a moment Aela sat there quietly.

She thought about the Jedi, about the Galactic Alliance, about Naboo.

Jamie was Queen there now, and by all accounts she ruled with a fair hand. The planet was experiencing a time of prosperity even when half a dozen other worlds appeared to be falling into hands of war. It was a testament to her padawan, how she was doing, but also how...separated everything had become. She wondered if the Alliance was strong enough to withstand another assault, whether or not things would actually be able to carry through to the end.

With the Sith looming in the north that seemed impossible. "A part of me feels guilty."

She admitted quietly.

"For not wanting to fight." Her gaze cast towards the rock outcropping. "We beat the Dark Lord of the Sith. We didn't kill him but if we had the time...we could have."

That wasn't her ego talking, at least she thought it wasn't. Jacen and She had fought hard against the Dark Lord, and they had won. Surrounded by the enemy and in the middle of a battle they had beaten the man back with relative ease. It was saying something about their abilities. "Yet...neither of us want to fight...we're sitting it out."

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

"You probably could have brought him down without my assistance," Jacen stated quietly after a few seconds of silence. "I know that if they keep building there will come a point where it makes more sense for me to be back on the front lines. As weary as that might make me feel I know it is the truth."

Jacen fell silent again. He went through some silent contemplation of his own.

"Then again, perhaps I am best off where I am. They always seem to come for the temple landmarks first," he added. There was just a hint of humour in the corners of his eyes.

"I think that perhaps there is no cowardice in our decision, but we both have to come to terms with it. I wish I had had the farsight to avoid a hundred mistakes I have made in my life. The young force users are some of the most vulnerable, were the sith to overwhelm the Alliance. We would need to help them."

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

She tapped her fingers against her knee.

"I don't know." Aela answered simply. Part of what Jacen said made sense to her, it was logical, reasonable. The younglings meant something, they meant everything. A dozen or so younglings with potential could become a problem for the entire galaxy if the Sith ever got ahold of them. "Though..."

She frowned. "This is what my double talked about."

It was easier to talk about that moment now.

"She told me I didn't fight for others. Not for the younglings, not for Jamie, not for the Alliance or anyone at all." Aela had told Jacen that before of course. "So is that true? Am I wanting to fight to protect or just to gain more glory?"

Her head shook. "I want to say I'm not. That I don't want my name to be known, that I want to be in the dark...but a part of me..."

A soft smile touched her lips.

"A part of me enjoys how the younglings look at me." She sighed. "How they ask me questions about battle, how...how I fight."

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

"I see," he replied quietly. "That spirit very nearly broke me."

In a way he knew that Aela's own trouble merely prolonged him having to face his own. His double had left him helpless, knelt on the floor in defeat.

"A subtle change in words can mean a very different thing. You make yourself an easy person to look up to Aela. I've never felt you were motivated by glory but it's not my opinion that matters here."

"When the Republic was crumbling you gathered the young ones to try and prepare them to fight back. Why did you do that?"

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

She considered the question for a moment. The Covenant had been the first time she'd done anything major. It had been done in secret and mostly with friends, or rather people who had considered her friends before she'd ever really understood the term. It had worked in a way, they had freed slaves, fought against Sith, even made a dent in some of the fights for the Republic...but it had never truly been successful in vanquishing evil. Though that goal now seemed somewhat childish to her.

Ending evil, the Sith, took a lot more than a few kids. "I wanted to help."

She said quietly.

"I couldn't join the Republic." Aela said. "Not openly, my mother and father would have found out if i'd done it that way. Plus I was young...only sixteen, they wouldn't have let me do anything."

She thought for a moment. "I wanted to fight, to help."

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

"Mhmm," went Jacen. He fell silent. There was a lot he could share with Aela about his own thoughts. Was there the possibility that part of her had wanted to shine? Perhaps raise herself in the eyes or another? Her parents were powerful and influential. He wouldn't begrudge her trying to do great things.

He also knew that this self conflict could take months, maybe years. But Jacen also doubted expressing any of that right now would do anything more than give her too much to think about.

So he remained silent and would remain that way until she spoke or their mystery follower arrived.

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

When Jacen didn't say anything more, Aela mimicked the behavior, albeit in a far less peaceful manner.

Where as Jacen sat quietly, peacefully, Aela couldn't help but fidget slightly. It was an odd, almost childish thing, and incredibly unlike her. From a young age Aela had excelled at things like meditation, staying still and keeping herself in once place had practically been a talent of hers. At one point she'd gotten so bad with being the 'silent child' that it had actually caused her parents concern.

Now however it seemed like she couldn't keep still.

She wiggled in place, let out a sigh, tapped her fingers against her knees, breathed almost as if she suddenly had noticed that she controlled every breath and if she didn't it would all but stop. It was an extremely odd spectacle, and one that was just...unlike Aela Talith.

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Jacen would have liked to believed that he left Aela in silence as part of some plan for improving her mantel state. The truth was that he had run out of ideas for things to say. She managed to make more noise than a youngling trying to meditate. When she sighed he opened one eye to just a slit.

Eventually he smoothly drew himself up to his full height as if his strings had been pulled. At least some time in meditation had cleared his own mind. He had more questions to ask Aela. Now wasn't the time and with the way events had turned perhaps they wouldn't come until they left this world.

It almost hurt to see her like this. He could still see the young, single-minded Aela who had dragged him to the ground for crossing a line. She hadn't opened up to him quickly. It had, in the end, taken dire circumstances to see through the version of Aela he held in his mind. Now he saw well past that, the the vulnerability everyone held. It pained him that he couldn't make her troubles go away with a touch of the Force.

"We should go and find out who our friend is," Jacen said with a smile. Without a pause he stepped out into the light and marched down across the rocks. "Please don't shoot me in the back," he added with a wink over his shoulder. "But do save me if this goes badly."

The figure in dark robes must have caught their voice. They turned to face Jacen as he called out: "Hello there! Stop for a talk quickly?"

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

Aela made a rather grumpy face at Jacen. "I'll try my best."

Her eyes cast towards the blaster on her hip however, and almost instantly she hoped that she wouldn't have to use the weapon. If they were close and personal it might end up being okay, but anything more and she probably would hit Jacen in the back while he wasn't looking.

If that were to happen...well she would probably have to go into exile.

Aela drew herself up rather quickly, still maintaining the same lithe ballerina like composure that she had always had. Though her mind was a broken mess, her physical attributes at least still remained. Instead of following Jacen out of the alcove however Aela chose to stay behind, taking up a small position and letting herself fade into the rock. There was no need to follow, not yet, and when Jacen called out Aela closed her mind to try and reach out in the force.

Sensing things had never been her best talent, but she'd manag-

Her thoughts were suddenly split in two as the figure within the canyon moved, a black clothed hand reaching beneath a similar robe and pulling free the hilt of a lightsaber.

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Aela Talith"]

"Now there's no need for that," Jacen called out. He took both his eyes from the figure as he rounded a rock. It was a very deliberate gesture to try and get the other party to relax. It didn't work.

The saber was up in an aggressive stance when he looked back up. The hood had fallen back. A young girl, no man, stood facing him down. He didn't even look as old as Trextan.

"No..." Jacen repeated. He brought up his right hand, palm down, to signal for calm.

Snap-hiss

"No!" His other hand came up, but this was to signal to Aela to keep back for now. He felt a wave of energy build before him. Despite the determination and focus there he felt no trace of the Dark side here.

As the telekenetic wave came out Jacen dismissed it with a wave. This was no Jedi Master. This was a student.

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

Aela had no idea what was going on.

She heard the snap-hiss of a lightsaber springing into the life, she listened to the whir of the blade, and then she heard Jacen shout. From her little place in the alcove she couldn't make out much of anything, only the black robed figure and a...blue lightsaber?

A lightsaber didn't really mean much at all, not the color either. Sure the traditional colors for Sith was Red, but Aela had seen darksiders use blue and green blades before. It was rare enough, but not completely out of reason. What startled her most however was the sudden burst of the force that carried forth, a wave that thrashed against Jacen and was then easily tossed aside. Her lips turned into a frown and a puzzled look crept across her face.

"What the?" Aela asked as she slowly crept forward.

She moved far enough so she could see, but remained hidden in the alcove.