Private Don't Dream It's Over

[Ishani Dinn]

Ishani took Eloise to the ‘fresher, and while she waited outside she felt the emotional barriers she’d unconsciously erected beginning to crumble. Before she knew it, tears were streaming from her eyes, and she couldn’t stop them.

“Why are you crying?” Eloise asked upon her return. The little girl hugged her, and Ishani returned the embrace, wishing she could put herself back together again. Wishing things didn’t have to be this way. Wishing a lot of things.

“I’m happy,” Ishani tried to reassure her, or at least to explain in terms a child could understand. “But I’m a little sad too. That will pass. I just have to give it time for things to get better—and they will get better, now that your father is with us. I’ll be okay, sweetheart.”

They rejoined Marcus and Arcturus over by the jellyfish tank, and from there the day seemed to pass in a blur. Ishani forgot her troubles for a little while, her attention on the kids and Arc. By dinnertime she was convinced she’d simply made a mistake. A petty, ruinous attempt at a clapback, or an awkward, clunky way of eliciting an apology from him.

As much as she wanted to move on, to enjoy the time she had with her family together and whole, there were things that had to be resolved before she could put her mind at ease. For one, there was still the issue of his possibly disappearing into the Netherworld again, remaining young while she aged and the kids grew up without him. That would render the whole compromise pointless, but she had a solution of sorts to pitch to him. If nothing else, it was something they could work out together.

Try as she might, she couldn’t make herself believe this compromise was real until she lived to see him leave and come back again. She wondered if things would change once the kids were older… when they were all grown up, if he’d let her stay with him all the time. Force, she already found herself longing for that day…

Her desires didn’t have to rule her, though. She couldn’t help wanting, but she didn’t have to act on it. That was what self-control was, after all. But Force knew Ishani lacked self-control.

She put the children to bed, let Arc participate if he liked, then retreated to the tank, her Atargatis Skin in hand. The false flesh clung to her as she slipped it on, then dove into the water, swimming from one end of the tank to the other. Though the tank was large, it was still a limited space, and she craved the open sea. She had just enough privacy to indulge in her addiction unnoticed, though Arc or the kids might sense her presence inside the tank and put two and two together. It was better than nothing. After her time in captivity she would accept anything other than nothing.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Arcturus enjoyed the time they got to spend together in isolation that day, as they drifted ever closer to their ultimate destination. Well... Penultimate. Leviathan was just a means to the end, after all. There would be further complications once they were back aboard his beloved vessel, in the form of his student, but he would cross that bridge once he came to it. It wasn't as though he'd outright kept her in the dark about his past, in fact in many ways he'd been very forthcoming. Ishani, though, and the kids? They were a sensitive subject. He'd fully intended on keeping them far from reach.

Apparently the Universe'd had other ideas, though. Blasted pirates.

Still in that moment he was content.

He helped with putting them to bed, tucking each in and placing a kiss atop their heads, and when Ishani rushed off before they'd fully succumbed to sleep Arcturus found himself taking a seat on the edge of one of the lower bunk. Despite the darkness of the room, Arcturus could see the pair of them watching him. Still curious, still eager to learn more, and no doubt wondering why he hadn't left as their mother had. The ring upon his finger afforded him great vision in the dark, after all.

Their inability to immediately sleep was what had stalled him. As he sat there he began to quietly hum to them, and soon his whispered voice joined in the words of a song he'd once sung for Ishani, and prior to that for Grundark and Noelle, the haunting song of his people. He made sure that the tone he used was soft, and in doing so effortlessly disguised the more somber nature of the words themselves. It was a lullaby in that moment, more than anything else, the sound more so than the words being the focus.

Arcturus poured his heart and soul into it all the same, hoping to imbue them with just a slither of their heritage in the only way he knew how. They were asleep before he finished, but he did not cease until the song was done. To do otherwise would be to dishonour those who had come before him.

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Arc's presence lingered in their room, occupying the same space as they slipped into sleep, and even after that. It should've soothed her, knowing that he cared. Congratulations, Ish, you picked a good one. She wanted to just be happy with that.

Instead, guilt drove her out of the water prematurely, yanking away the barrier of the Skin against her flesh. Chaldeans associated Finfolk with abandonment—wives and mothers who left their husbands and children for the sea—and for the moment she found she could no longer stand to be a carefree mermaid.

Naked and shivering, she wrapped herself in a towel and crept back to Arc's quarters, leaving a puddle trail. Along the way, she passed the door to where the children were sleeping. It slid soundlessly open, and she froze, her voice a whisper.

"Arc."

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

As the babes slumbered Arcturus carefully rose up and crept toward the door, afraid that any sudden move might rouse them. So new to this whole parenting schtick, he didn't realize that sometimes sneaking was worse than just outright doing a thing. The more a child relied on silence to sleep, the harder it would be to get them to sleep.

Oh well. He'd learn.

The door opened at his approach, and he was surprised to find Ishani stood on the other side in nothing more than a towel. He recognized the Atargatis skin in her hand, and could easily put two and two together. He stepped through the doorway as she whispered his name, so as to keep any stray light from reaching them, and peered down over her smaller form.

It was impossible to look at her this way, yet all the same he couldn't tear his gaze away. A breath caught in his throat, and he lifted his chin some in defiance of the allure she'd unintentionally cast over him. He couldn't keep the stirring from the rest of his body though; Chaos, even the scent of the not-quite-water which clung to her skin was all the more sweet than it usually was.

He half reached toward her, then paused. Instinct bade him to walk away, he didn't. He just stood there and stared at her, heart hammering against his chest, while she stood like a deer in headlights.

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

They stood in the hallway, staring at each other. He started to reach out toward her, getting halfway there before he seemed to think better of it. She caught his hand in her own. Her trembling now had very little to do with the cold.

"Thanks for putting them to bed," she heard herself say, amazed that she could string two words together, let alone a full sentence. Though she spoke softly, her voice cut through the tension between them like a knife. "I had to... go for a swim."

She pursed her lips, falling silent for a little while as she peered over his shoulder at the closed door to the twins' room. Her gaze flicked back to his face, and for a few heated moments she was caught in the blue of his eyes, far more fathomless than any sea she'd ever swam in.

"Do you want to talk now?"

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

She made the decision for him, catching his hand with her own, and both seemed satisfied to just keep it there. A simple touch, and nothing more. A comfort all the same. Ishani thanked him for doing something so simple as putting the children to bed, and he frowned and found his brow creasing into confusion. "I... Wanted to." He shouldn't have been surprised by her reactions though.

He'd tried to reject all of this.

Then she mentioned needing to swim. He glanced past her into the meditation chamber, where the big wall of glass into the tank could be seen. Nodded. "I understand. It's been... A lot. If you need some time to yourself, I understand. I can keep watch over the children, until we reach Leviathan."

But then she glanced at him, and their eyes met. He lost himself in the meadow of her iris', and might have remained that way indefinitely if she had not spoken. It was a question he'd been dreading all day, if only for the way in which she'd worded it earlier.

As though this day was all he'd be granted with the children.

He swallowed; then nodded.

"Yes... Yeah, we should talk."

He tore his eyes from hers, glanced down - intending, in truth, to stare at his feet - and was immediately reminded of her presently toweled state. A blush crept over him, and he averted his eyes. "I, uh... Maybe you should finish changing first, Rhi..."

Too much of a distraction, but then... When wasn't she?

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

"I... wanted to."

"I noticed." She smiled a little. "I knew you loved them the moment you learned they existed, Arc. The moment you said they were too good for you."

Then he spoke about giving her time to herself. Her smile faded, but she nodded, unwilling to admit that she had a problem. She hoped Arcturus hadn't worn his own Atargatis Skin enough times to feel the tug of addiction. Though he did look nice in it...

His face reddened as he suggested she get changed. She wanted to tease him, but thought better of it, unsure how it would be interpreted. Biting her lip, she palmed the door control to his room, then paused in the doorway. "I thought you wanted me to stay away, stop chasing you..." she murmured.

Averting her eyes, she took a step back inside the room, letting go of his hand. "I'll get changed."

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Everything else she'd said went by the wayside as she uttered her quiet little statement on the threshold of his room. As she ventured inside he hastily followed, the door closing behind him. He grabbed her wrist again, gentle this time, and turned her toward him. Stared down at her.

"Rhi" he whined, as they stood there in the dark like that. He could see everything though, the dark held no secrets to him anymore, "I wanted you to go back to the kids. And you did. I thought they'd be better without me, and maybe they are, but... Force... Stop. Please. I never want you to stay away, I just... Needed you to. Then. For them. For you."

His grip tightened just a tiny bit.

"Besides, you didn't chase me. I came for you. For all of you. Because nobody, nobody, dares harm my family. Understood?"

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

He grabbed her just in time for the towel to loosen up and fall off. Welp. Good thing it was dark in there, right?

"No, I mean..." she sputtered, newly exposed to the cool air. "Uh... well... I get all that, it's just that you seem very reluctant to... to... I thought maybe that curse would... make you afraid to be near me, or something?"

He was so warm, but until he answered that question, she didn't dare close the distance, no matter how much she shivered in his grasp.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

The towel fell, and it took every single ounce of will the man had not to look down. He swallowed back the lump in his throat, felt it constricting, and noticed how she shivered while newly exposed to the air. One hand reached out and he summoned the blanket from the bed without giving it a second thought, wrapping it around her. Of course for all intents and purposes he shouldn't have even known the towel had fallen, it didn't really make a noise after all.

Yet he'd known.

He settled his hands upon her shoulders then, and let out a long sigh. Pulled her against him,

"Feth the curse, I have it under control. At least around those who matter." He buried his face into her hair, and closed his eyes. "Seeing you all like that, at the behest of those animals, and finding the children in that cell, and..." He shook his head, and held her tighter. "Kark it all, Rhi. I don't care anymore. Do your duty to them, refrain from chasing me across the stars, and I'll come back as much as I'm able. I promise you that. For you, not just the kids."

Leaning his head back some, Arcturus stared at a spot on the ceiling.

"But if you find that isn't enough, and I know it's a lot of absence to stand by, then... I grant you the grace to move on. I'll still visit the kids, but... You deserve someone who's there all the time. And if you find that's what you need... Then, it's okay with me. Because you matter too, Rhi. Not just the rest of us."

 

[Ishani Dinn]

"We're safe now. You made sure of that," she said, hugging him. She wanted to reassure him, but perhaps it was best to just accept his embrace and offer comfort in return. His breath was warm against the dampness of her hair, trailing down her neck, and so was the blanket he'd wrapped around her.

When he spoke of letting her move on, she couldn't take it any longer. "No," said firmly. "Damn it, Arc, we've been through this before. At the Academy, you kept saying I should leave, that it was better for me to go on without you. I told you no then, and I'm telling you no now." She grabbed his shirt, balling the fabric in her fists, and her eyes brimmed with intensity, her jaw set.

"I'm yours, Arcturus. My children are yours, my body is yours, my heart and my soul are yours. Time and distance can't break these chains. Only you could, so take it or leave it. Put a ring on it if it makes you feel better, but I'm not going anywhere. If I was, I would've already dumped your little womprat ass when you left me on Korriban, pregnant just in time for the Crusaders to attempt to annihilate the planet. You grant me nothing that's mine to give."

Her voice and her features softened. "So if you're quite done hating yourself for today, I'd like to love you a little, while we're here now together... and we've got more important stuff to discuss. Like your Netherworld disappearing act, for instance..."

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

She settled against him just right, as she always had, a perfect fit in his arms, and for a moment they existed in tandem. And then he went and put his foot in his mouth. Truth be told he was just trying to do what he thought was right, the idea of dragging someone along for the rest of forever did not sit right with him, but nor was he going to try and claim he could avoid such. All the same she swiftly made her point. All the same, he bowed his head gently in defeat.

Defeat, that was, until she mentioned Korriban.

Then he exhaled through his nose.

"Rhi" he whined, not for the first time that night, "You make it sound like it was a conscious choice..." He buried his face in her hair all over again then, and bit back the aggravated growl which rose up within him. "It was the ring" he finally stated, "The one Ashin sent me, for helping get her wife out of the Dreaming Dark, that's what pulled me in, and that's what'll keep pulling me in. Whether I remove it or destroy it or whatever. It's just... How it is. And I'm sorry for that, but that's also why this whole arrangement is best. So the kids know ahead of time that I won't be able to be there every day of their lives."

He pulled back slightly when he said that last part, and stared down at her through the darkness. "But they can call me, you can call me, whenever you want. Okay? Even if I'm not there with you, I won't ever be too far to contact. I promise..."

Arcturus leaned in and set his lips to her forehead. Held them there for a time, and then exhaled warm air against her skin.

"Come on, let's get you dry and dressed. Frankly, I wouldn't mind changing into something more comfortable myself. Then... Then we'll talk. Maybe out with the jellyfish?" Bedrooms were too much temptation. Arcturus felt the need to take it slow here, to ease back into their existence together. Rush it, go at it too fast, too intensely, and they'd run the risk of a repeat.

They didn't need a repeat.

With a wave of his hand the light was switched on, though Arcturus didn't have to wait for his eyes to adjust in order to move toward the dresser. Inside he found a couple of things, including some of Ishani's old clothes. Looking at them now though he knew they might not fit. So instead he set them aside and pulled out two of his own pajama shirts, and some of his old shorts which were too small for him now. Ones he'd worn after coming out of the wilds the first time.

He handed her a shirt and the shorts, then turned away from her so that she could dress in peace. Similarly, it gave him time to change too. Mostly he wanted a fresh shirt, so he took off his own and tossed it aside before reaching for the oversized pajama shirt he liked to wear to bed. In doing so, he revealed the twisted skin which made up a scar where once a brand had lay, the skin having hastily knitted back together after being so brutally torn open.

Still, even knowing it was perhaps more glaring than the brand itself had been, Arcturus barely even noticed it anymore. Certainly he felt its presence far less than he had the reminder of his lowly beginnings.

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

“I’m sorry, Arc. I know it wasn’t your fault… I know you didn’t want to leave…” But she’d spoken out of turn, inflicting her anger at fate—at the universe—at the Force even, upon him. Because he had been taken from her, and the loss of him was the source of all her pain.

When he revealed the actual cause of his disappearance, she looked at him in shock. “Of course it’s a ring,” she whispered, rather cryptically. Taking his hand, she searched among his fingers for the piece in question. It did not look like a Sith’s creation. The metal was rose-gold, the stone pale with a mirror-like sheen. She saw her reflection in it, and it was no dark glass.

“I can accept you being taken, Arc, but there must be a way to keep you from losing time,” she said, opening her hand so he could remove his from hers. “If you can find your way back—without years passing in Realspace along the way—it won’t be so bad.”

She’d traveled the Nether herself, after all, first with her crude string and then with alchemized rope. Kal and Alina Tremiru both seemed to think she’d gone there to look for Arcturus, but the reality was she was experimenting on herself in hopes of helping him cheat time. If Arc hadn’t stopped her, she would’ve kept going until she found success or became a permanent resident of the Netherworld.

Arc wanted her to get dressed, so she did, accepting the clothes he handed her. She didn’t care what she wore. He turned away from her as she lowered the blanket—she still didn’t know why he seemed so reluctant, but she was a little more willing to accept it now—but Ishani, being Ishani, couldn’t resist peeking at him while he changed his shirt. Her lips parted at the sight of the scar where his brand had once been.

“What happened to your back?” she asked softly.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

A strange expression fell over Arcturus as she spoke on the Nether, and the boy found himself shifting his gaze away from her for a moment. Forlorn, distant, for a time it seemed as though he wasn't really there at all. And then he sighed.

"It felt like years had passed in there too" he finally confessed, something he'd kept to himself these months since his return to Realspace. "More, even, than passed out here. Decades, an eternity... It wasn't over in the blink of an eye, Ishani, as much as I wish it had been, I just..." Eyes closed, and he tried to breathe around a lump which had formed in his throat. "I just didn't age."

He'd seen it first hand in the way in which Seydon of Arda had appeared the exact same as he had the day he entered alongside the rest of them. Worn down, exhausted, yes, but the signs of ageing themselves... Suspended almost? Arcturus wasn't sure. And he certainly did not wish to dwell on it. Perhaps it had been wrong for him to misstate his experiences, to downplay them as though he'd only lived a month or so on the other side of the veil. But the truth was much to harrowing to admit to.

"You don't need to worry about it not being one for one. If anything, I spend more time in there than you do out here."

Arcturus bowed his head, listening to what she might have to say in the aftermath, and then gave himself a moment of composure. Finally he set about getting changed.

Her comment about his shoulder made him pause, then he reached around and touched the discoloured flesh which ought to have been risen in a brand yet wasn't. Was it time to talk about all that, already? Chaos, he'd barely come to grips with it all himself.

"Uh... Tsisaar happened" he explained, before realizing that he'd probably never uttered that name before in his life. Not to Ishani, at least. "He was one of the first Sith who sought to guide me. He's the one who broke my slave chains, removed the first brand..." He turned to face her, and extended out the hand which held a similarly discoloured scar upon the wrist, admittedly less jagged of a scar than the one upon his shoulder which had been healed under more intense circumstances.

"He's the one who rose me up to being an actual Acolyte, rather than a slave who just happened to be taught on the side. And, uh... He called for me again, recently. After I found you on Vixen. I wasn't in a good way after that, probably was you weren't either huh?" Arcturus shook his head, fidgeting with his hands. "He snapped me out of it, simultaneously broke me down and rose me back up. Removed the last brand."

A nod this time, a firmer sense of resolve within his expression.

"Knighted me, actually. I uh... I pledged myself to him." That was likely information the woman wouldn't like so much, but what could he do? He'd been offered salvation, the promise of true growth and purpose, and he'd taken it. Hungrily, desperately, taken it. There were no regrets to be had where such was concerned. "Gave me back a name I'd long since forgotten..." Eyes fell upon Ishani's, and he smiled a sad smile. "And in doing so, opened the gate to more memories. About then... Before all of this. Ession..."

Arcturus reached out then, and placed his hand over her cheek. "I know my name, Rhi. I know the name our children should have had, too. A name returned to me as a title, sure, but beyond that my name, the one she gave me when I came into this world kicking and screaming."

Even now though he hesitated upon speaking it. It was a spell which had been held over him for so long, something lost to the annuls of time. He'd sought it for an eternity, it felt like, and now it was within his grasp... But what would she make of it?

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

“Oh.” Well, that was a lot of stress and heartache over nothing, then. “Were you lost for all that time, unable to find a way out, or—“ Did you stay in there on purpose? “Because if you were lost, maybe—maybe we should try to map it out.”

The shift in subject to his brand opened up a whole new set of revelations—too much to take in all at once, in all honesty. Ishani’s first response was to hug him. She held him close, but not with the desperate tightness of earlier. Her fingers curled around the curve of his shoulders, her head resting below his chin, a warm embrace. But eventually excitement and anticipation got the better of her.

“Well—what is it? You can’t just say you remembered your birth name and surname, then not tell what it is,” she said, bouncing up and down a little. She had not forgotten that night in the Academy, when merely mentioning the topic of Ession and his childhood had triggered an emotional outburst. Yet here he was, speaking of his homeworld and his mother with only a sad smile.

“What do you want to be called now, Sir Knight?” Certainly not Thesh anymore.

“Oh, and this Tsissaar guy—is he better or worse than Maliphant and the Worm Emperor? Will he also require you to invade planets, be his good little soldier, and chastise you for saving babies from the battlefield?”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

"Both" he said, not even bothering to lie. "I awoke within a great, winding canyon with seemingly no end. No way to climb it, either. Force, it felt like I spent years in there..." Even as he said it the boy looked physically exhausted by the mere memory of it. "Then I was in a region of the Nether I'd never seen before. By the time I reached more familiar ground, well... I felt what happened, to Korriban I mean. I sensed it, the accompanying dread, and uh, well..."

Arcturus swallowed, and brought his hands together to fidget some more. "I was afraid of what I'd come back to. For months, I think it was months, all I could envision was your corpse. It kept me from seeking out the portal I knew... The one which would lead me right to Korriban."

The boy closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. No doubt that would frustrate her, knowing that he'd purposely taken so much extra time to find his way back. "But then I found the desert. And I found myself lost within all sorts of visions. I really don't know how long I was in there for. Heck, an entire turn of the century might have passed and I'd be none the wiser. And then I was called for, led to the Dreaming Dark all over again. Found an ally in that wretched place. We fought our way out, and I led him back to that same rift, the Korriban one... I couldn't join him. I wouldn't. Not there."

Arcturus sighed, and ran a hand up through his hair.

"Eventually Kal found me by the River of the Dead. Brought me to an entirely different rift, which spat me out on Denon. Not my favourite choice in worlds, but, well, no corpses waiting for me there I suppose."

And there it was. Missing bits and pieces, of course, because frankly he'd gone a little nuts in that place and there was a lot he could not recall. But it was the general gist of it. Ishani suggested they try to map it out, which wasn't inherently a bad idea. He just didn't know how much any of it tended to shift. He didn't speak on it though because soon she had her arms around him, and she held him in just the way he needed to be held. Not too needy, or greedy, just... Tight. Comforting.

She felt for the new skin on his shoulder, and for once he didn't recoil. He let her do precisely that and held her in his own embrace until she pulled away and looked at him expectantly. Excitedly. She wanted to know his name.

"I uh... Marcion." Even now it felt a little strange, haunting even, to say it aloud. But he'd broken the spell, and a slightly less sedated smile pulled at his lips. "My name is Marcion Dinn."

Then more. She wanted to know what he wanted to be called now, with all of this in mind. "Well... Tsisaar dubbed me Darth Marcion - it's how I happened to remember, in truth, it flooded me all at once with reminders of home. Lord Marcion, even, though I don't know if he meant it condescendingly or not. I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to be deductive of such." He shrugged though, because clearly either way he didn't much care.

"But... I think I like Arcturus. I chose that for myself, you know? It's the name I used to break free from their chains, in the same way Tsisaar broke them on my wrist. No more Thesh, though. Not now, not ever. Dinn. I think I'd like to be a Dinn again. Arcturus Dinn; how does that sound?"

The more he said it, the more he liked it. It felt right. Arcturus Dinn. Darth Marcion.

Name decided, he smiled down at Ishani. She was full of questions tonight.

"He's not like them. He doesn't work for the Worm. And... I think he genuinely wants to help me grow. Maybe for his own benefit, probably for his own benefit, after all why else, but... It seems sincere all the same? Like he was personally offended by how little I'd been trained, how much potential was wasted. I don't really know how to answer your question though, Rhi. It's hard to know what people will want until they ask for it, you know? I just... Stability, he offered stability and purpose and passion, and I couldn't turn that down; I've been roaming without any real point to it, lost and confused and aimless. It seemed like the right thing to do."

He bowed his head then, ready to face any backlash which might ensue.

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Based on his descriptions, maybe trying to map out the Netherworld was impossible. But that didn’t match up with her own experiences there. “I went to the Netherworld with Alina and Arlo—uh, Arlo Renard, he was… my mentor with the Mystics. He’d been there before, and he seemed to know his way around…”

She trailed off, distinctly aware of the growing tension, both between them and inside herself. He’d been afraid to come back. She understood that, but she just… wished he hadn’t been. It would’ve saved them both a whole lot of heartbreak, but nothing could be done about it now.

With that in mind, she tried to let it roll off her like water. If he pulled something like it again, well… He really was a bit of a coward, wasn’t he? That was either something he would have to grow out of, or that would cause further problems later on down the road. Either way, she was going to have to get used to it, learn to adapt and overcome. Yeah.

…yeah.

“To be fair, you wouldn’t have found me on Korriban anyway,” she finally replied. “I surrendered, contacted some people I knew, who pulled some strings to get me released from custody… and then I went back to Chaldea and my parents. I didn’t even get to fight anyone. Probably a good thing, all things considered…” Still, it made it sound like she had simply given up. Much like she had with the pirates.

She hated talking about herself, and was glad when things shifted back to him.

"My name is Marcion Dinn."

“Hi, Marcion,” she greeted him with a smile. “A lord, too? You made out like a bandit with this Tscissor… sizzs… Tshi? Tsi-tsi guy. Condescending? Feth him. Ugh, I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a prick—and if he does, just… tell him to kiss your ass, I guess.”

She nodded. “Arcturus Dinn suits you. Oh, now I’m going to have to change the kids’ names—I figured having Thesh as a last name wouldn’t be right, and it would just get them made fun of. But Marcus Dinn and Eloise Dinn are fine…”

Despite Arc’s suggestion that they go hang out with the jellyfish, the two idiots were still in the bedroom. Ishani seemed to notice this, and so she dragged pillows and blankets from the bed into the meditation chamber. There she made them (or at least herself) a place on the floor to sit or lie down.

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

When Ishani casually dropped a name he actually recognized, the boy sort of just stared. It took him a moment to piece together why he knew it, and then the colour drained from his face. "Oh, chit Rhi... I'm sorry, I didn't know you knew him. I am so sorry for your loss... Not a nice way to go at all."

It only occurred to him after he said it that maybe she didn't even know.

He thought about the skull kept in a box in the armoire on Leviathan and mentally grimaced. Probably best she didn't see that any time soon.

She spoke of Korriban, and her surrender, and seemed a little awkward and unhappy about the whole thing. He reached out and caught her chin between his thumb and index, and turned her head a little to look at him. "Good. You were smart about it, and I'm glad you went with them. You're alive, and you protected the children even if you didn't know it. I'm proud of you for it, Rhi. For not just letting your pride get in the way. It must have been a difficult decision, scary even... You did good."

He meant it, too. He wasn't above such things, even where some might see it as cowardly. Sometimes you had to look out for number one, especially when nobody else was there to help you.

And then she said it, his name, uttered to him as though they were meeting for the first time. The somber edge to his smile was immediately alleviated. "Why, hello there Rhiannon," he replied back, since they were for the moment speaking in true names. "Tsisaar," he retorted softly. "Taral. Technically... I have that name too, now. Arcturus Dinn-Taral. But I think it's best I don't run around with a known Sith Lord's name, you know?"

What she said next had his eyes widening.

"Wait. Really?" He sounded breathless, choked even, "You'll do that..? Give them my name?" For once Arcturus held back the tears, and simply embraced her - tightly this time, to replace any words he couldn't quite think to conjure up in that moment.

Soon enough they were gathering up blankets and pillows and bringing them out before the tank. Ishani tried to take them all but of course he did his part, and soon they had a comfortable looking nook formed before the jellies. He sat down, then pulled her down to a seat alongside him. "I've missed you, you know? I know it's my own fault, but still... Being around you, it's always been so effortless. Even when I tried to claim it wasn't."

Okay, maybe he hadn't wanted it to be so effortless. Maybe he wanted her to walk away, find someone else, move on, but she hadn't. And from the looks of things she wouldn't. So why keep fighting it?

Slow, though. Steady, though. This wasn't too much, how they were right now. Just right.

Ishani Dinn

 

[Ishani Dinn]

“Huh?” She stared at him. “You know Arlo? Or… Wait, he’s dead?”

Well, this was awkward.

He assured her she’d done the right thing by leaving Korriban. She latched on to one thing he’d said—that she’d protected the children, even if she didn’t know it. “I did know. Er, well—I found out then. A Jedi—that same Jedi Master who we fought on Ossus—he found me trying to escape the Academy and wanted me to surrender. I refused at first, because I was scared they would… I dunno, take away my connection to the Force, or something. I didn’t know what they would do to me. Then I started to feel strange and sick. I ran away into the courtyard of the Academy, and… I thought I sensed you, or the essence of you, but it was coming from inside me. That’s how it felt at first…”

As she spoke, she seemed to grow more distant, her voice becoming quieter and a faraway look coming into her eyes. But his embrace pulled her back to the present. “Of course I’ll give them your name,” she said, and cracked a small smile. “I’m not a Dathomirian or a Hapan. Chaldeans give their children their father’s surname. Do Lorrdians do that too?”

She was more amused than annoyed by him calling her Rhiannon at this point. Nobody had ever called her anything other than Ishani, for reasons she had already explained to him, but he had clearly taken a liking to it, so who was she to complain?

"I've missed you, you know? I know it's my own fault, but still... Being around you, it's always been so effortless. Even when I tried to claim it wasn't."

“I am very chill,” she agreed. “And I know you well enough to see right through your bullshit.” Stroking the nape of his neck with a gentle hand, she sobered. “But I know all this is… weird, right now. So much has changed, it’s like we don’t really know each other anymore. We might as well be meeting for the first time all over again, right down to it being a life-or-death situation that threw us together.”

She thought of that second night in the jungle that had been denied them, sleeping in a proper tent. So much had stood in their way even from the start—she didn’t see him again until their reunion at Ossus. There was no actual courtship, no dating, only a choking fear of losing him that she’d felt again and again, which had driven her to throw caution to the wind and simply take him while she still had the chance. The stakes had only gotten higher as time went on; he went from being a kindred spirit at the Academy to becoming a permanent part of her through their children.

Hopefully, this compromise would at least offer something resembling stability. She knew he would always come back.

“We didn’t get a second night together on Lao-mon,” she said softly. “We do this time. No Sith to stop us.”

Arcturus Dinn​

 

[Arcturus Dinn]

Yep, no, she didn't know. Welp, Arcturus had messed that revelation up hadn't he? He frowned, and slowly nodded his head. "Yeah... Sorry, Rhi, I thought maybe you already knew..." Now he was left with the difficult decision of telling her how or not. Maybe that was best for someone else to tell her..? He didn't even know of the whole Roulette thing was even public knowledge, for all he knew they'd just labeled it a suicide.

Which it had been. Arcturus wasn't ever going to try and claim that putting a loaded weapon to your head and pulling the trigger would ever be anything but suicide.

She explained that she did know by the time that Korriban fell, and so he nodded his head more firmly this time, "Then you did the right thing. Thank you for that..." For ensuring the safety of the kids. For ensuring the safety of herself. His worst fear had been returning to find her dead, but she'd fought to survive even if she didn't actually raise a blade in defense of herself.

Then came her assurance about the name. He sort of just stared for a long time... "Yeah... We pass on the Father's name too, I mean, provided they're around," that part was probably what had him looking so flustered about the whole thing. An unexpected development. "Honestly? I never thought I'd ever have a name to pass on... Certainly it wouldn't have been passed on if it was Thesh. That's no legacy."

Legacy.

Arcturus had a legacy now, in the form of the twins, his own bloodline... lineage. It was mindboggling.

Where they sat before the tank, Arcturus hummed under his breath in consideration of it all. A lot to take in, that was for sure. "Marcus and Eloise Dinn..." Even when he said it aloud for himself it was with disbelief. He shifted slightly, and settled a kiss atop her head; a tiny frown played over his expression, though it was likely that she couldn't see it unless reflected in the glass of the tank. That left just Ish without...

She spoke about how it was like they were treading these waters for the first time, and he reminded himself to take it one step at a time. He couldn't rush, just as much as he hoped she wouldn't either. Still it was engrained within his mind at this point.

"Are you tired?" he asked her softly, "You can lay down, if you'd like." He patted his lap, giving her permission to rest her head there should she choose it, still able to talk, watch the jellies, whatever, just... Maybe more comfortably? Would she find it comfortable, or just downright uncomfortable given the circumstances? Wither way the offer was made.

Ishani Dinn