Gravity

[Asmus Janes]

[It's not that restricted though is it? It hasn't even got a secure door]

Not that that had stopped him on a certain space station under quarantine.

[I think they just slap that down so the operatives get some peace and quiet and can discuss the downfall of the First Order over caf and biscuits!]

Asmus rolled into his side, face lit up in the blue hue of the data pad. Rereading her messages, he got the sense she was veering well clear of any difficult topics. Some things one can't do.

It gave the scoundrel a very strong urge to sneak into the restricted zone again and knock on her door. Anything could be accomplished if you put enough time and effort into it. And you weren't dense, obviously.

[Like the ship? It's a bit leaner than my last one!]

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


Asmus always had a way about him that made everyone around him at ease, even through simple text. For a moment, Kaile could imagine the pilot in her mind. The crooked grin and the slight shrug that would follow when he spoke. The way the gold flecks of his eyes seemed to pop against the backdrop of jade green.

Shifting in her seat, Kalie found herself curling her fingers. The desire to see and touch him again rose. To curl up against him, breathe him in.

[ A bigger crew no doubt. It's one of the larger ones I've ever stayed in. Don't normally fly in such. ]

Another tummy rumble. Okay, maybe she should go grab something to eat. A glance at the time again and she made her decision.

A few quick selections and the Lorrdian transferred the connection to her datapad. Coming to her feet, she went searching for a change of pants. She could head off to the mess and just grab a few things. It should be rather quiet, so she could go in and out quickly.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[Oh really? I hope the simpletons in Spectre don't normally fly you in!]

Asmus sent through message as a joke, but almost immediately pictured Kaile happily chatting away to that broad-shouldered Twilek who commanded them. That sent an ugly streak of jealousy through him. Despite how attached and possessive he tended to feel towards her, he knew he had no right.

[And in case it's of interest whilst you're with us…]

Asmus then uploaded a link to several media centres the techies had installed on the day to day systems on the ship. There were several playlists that belong to Asmus. The old Rogue one, one comprised of a lot of songs Kaile would recognise and then a pile of what Kairon called ‘idiot's electronic noise wall’. That second list had evolved from one he'd once installed on a little mapping program. It had morphed over the years, but the core of songs had always stayed the same.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

She'd been slipping her pants over her hips, a slight jump and wiggle when the datapad gave another incoming message alert. Wandering back to the desk, Kaile picked it up, bringing it close to read.

A snort of amusement followed. The Spectre guys? They may be considered to be a bit thick in the head, but they meant well. She knew Arik, their commander from back in the Pyre days.

There was a small data file asking for her permission to accept. Leaning the curve of her bottom against the edge of the table, Kaile quickly typed back.

[ They aren't so bad. ] followed by [ Are you trying to send me madware? ] she joked.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus scowled at his datapad. Was she teasing him or did she genuinely know them? He wouldn't trust Arik as far as he could throw him. Any neutral would recognise the squadron rivalry for what it was, but Asmus didn't from his position.

Chewing on his bottom lip, he decided that this was a topic for another day. Perhaps.

[It's just a link to a media centre on the ship. Got some playlist on there. Just in case you fancied any music to liven up the dreary, boring, Asmus-free Deck B]

[PS Arik has downed three less ships, well five now, than me in the last year.]

Perhaps not for another day. At times Asmus could be as simple and petty as some thought him.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It wasn't like Kaile actually believed that Asmus was sending her madware. The brunette was actually teasing about that. Kaile accepted the file and it began to download, bringing up the media center. She couldn't help but smile at the results.

[ Why do you think B deck is so boring? ] she typed quickly. Grabbing her key card, the espion headed for the door. The quip about Arik made her chuckle.

[ Did he now? ] a passing thought came that there might be some rivalry there.

[ well he spends more time taking me to engagements so I guess that makes sense. ]
Maybe a bit TOO much information there.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The scowl deepened. He knew she was only teasing, but there was a line.
.
[Guess I'll have to give up some TIE marks on the nose to ensure you get some decent conversation on your next deployment. The sacrifices I have to make in the name of my duty!]

That seemed better than his first attempt, which upon a second read had seemed a little too spiteful about the Spectre SL.

[I don't know about Deck B. It wasn't that boring in my last visit, but obviously it lacks the charm of roguish pilots right now. Bet it's all paperwork and reports up there!]

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


Exiting her cabin, Kaile slid the door shut behind her. His response made her snort. Should she really continue? Likely not. But the memory of that junior officer named Lucy came to mind.

[ Arik is actually quite up to date on current events. ] really shouldn't have written that. Okay, followed up with, [ and it isn't all paperwork. There are some practical applications too.]

The chuckle and smirk she couldn't help but display as she walked and typed went dancing over her face.
Up ahead, an Intel officer was walking towards her. Only Kaile was too busy looking at her datapad to notice.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Oh come on![” he called out, far too loudly in the confines of his cabin. He knew it was a game, but the notion of Kaile whiling away the hours with Arik irked him beyond a rational level. She probably didn't know how deep their rivalry was.

Asmus took a few seconds before responding, he then made sure the tone was right.

[Alright! I surrender, you win. No more Spectre talk ]

He started to smile again. At least she was clearly able to see the amusing side of their conversation again.

[You know there was once a restricted zone between us. An entire planetary quarantine. Didn't stop me then…]

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

“What are you smiling about?”

The curious question came out of nowhere and it startled Kaile, making her jump.

“Oh?!” Her eyes went wide, and she unconsciously tucked her datapad behind her back.

“Nothing!” She replied to Zen, a communications agent in her division. One who clearly didn't believe her.

“Right…” He managed to say, but his eyes said otherwise. Kaile flushed.

“Have fun Kaile,” he murmured, giving her shoulder a quick pat. Whatever her plans may be, seeing her up and about was good

“Yeah..” A sheepish tone replied back, the girl spinning on the ball of her foot to continue on down B Deck. Bringing her datapad back up, she quickly tapped out,
[ perhaps… but you didn't sneak out that time just to meet me. ]

 

[Asmus Janes]

[In the end, that was all that mattered]

It was almost a reflex, typed without any thought or review before he sent it. Too late now to consider if that was moving the topic of conversation towards dangerous territory. She would just gloss over it anyway, he thought.

[Wonder if the canteen is doing rodian spiced food today]

Cowardly move, to put an entirely benign topic in the very next message within a few seconds. Asmus rolled his eyes at himself.

There was a satisfying ache in his muscles from the gym, but they resisted him rolling back over and sitting up. He slid out a small shelf from beside the bed and propped up his general usage datapad. Then he retrieved his work terminal from a draw beneath the cabin bed and set it out. Probably need to deal with some messages and write up a report or two. He also needed to check if command had made a decision on whether they could attend one of the military flight shows in Republic space, or whether it would be too public an appearance for the discharged pilots.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


Kaile’s steps slowed when she read that first message. She’d just arrived at the lift when her datapad had given a slight buzz with the alert. And while Asmus had followed it with a rather mundane comment about Rodian spiced food, the poignancy of the former did not fade.

It was true. In the end, it didn’t matter how Asmus had managed to find himself in that cantina during the Quarantine. All that mattered was that he did. Perhaps there was something to say about how it all managed to come to be. Had he not snuck off the Quiescence or if he’d ended up wandering off with whomever he’d been attempting his coy wiles on prior to coming to sit with her. It didn’t matter.

Just that he did.

The lift gave a slight shudder then descended quietly towards C Deck. Biting her lower lip, Kaile mulled over with how to respond to the message. He had clearly thought he needed to add another quick comment because he felt it had been said out of place. LIkely not wanting to aggravate me again.

[ Yeah..]

Swallowing hard, she added, [ I don’t know. I’ll tell you if I see any clue of it. ]

 

[Asmus Janes]

[You remember what I said back then? Right before you left? I was right. Are you going down there now? I'll go get food a little later if you don't want to bump into me at the moment?]

That last question mark had been a full stop. He'd hanged it at the very last second before he sent the message.

“Oh get a grip Asmus.”

She churned his insides round and round like no one else. Always made it so hard to think straight, but in a good way.

Which was why his report was currently two lines about the condition of his ship before takeoff. Asmus had no way to know that circumstances meant Kaile couldn't share his view, that she had tried to forget.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

The door to the lift had slid open, but Kaile didn’t step off. Instead she just stood there, staring down at her screen. It seemed as if everything else had gone terribly quiet. All due to one small sentence asking her if she remembered what Asmus had told her long ago right before she left.

I know there’s something going on. And it's making you think you’re going to have to hurt me. Hurt us both.​

Yeah. I remember. As his voice seemed to echo in her mind. Taking her back to his cabin those years ago.

Every time I say it, it seems to upset you. But I think you know how I feel, know how you feel.​

Everyday.

I just...I want you to know that if you can’t come back to me I’ll always think of those moments.​

There was a bittersweetness to it.

​

The best four days.​

There had been joy yes. But also a terrible loss.

​

Maybe that’ll make it hurt you less too.​

Asmus just didn’t know the full extent of it.

That ache would return. A sharp pang in her chest. Unknowingly, her hand had fallen to rest over her flat belly, fingers curling in slightly. A well of emotions rose again, and the brunette took a deep breath.

[ I’m just grabbing a snack. It’s okay. ] she quickly typed back out. leaning against the bulkhead of the lift, Kaile tipped back her head and rested it against the cool metal. Hazel eyes went staring up at the ceiling. In a couple of days time they would stop at the nearest fuel station. The cogs went spinning in her mind. A coward's way out for sure.

But honestly, who was she trying to fool texting back and forth like she had been? Things were not so simple. Were not so easy.

 

[Asmus Janes]

A slight rattle came from the ventral starboard nacelle on takeoff. All flight health systems reported green and the decision was made to continue with the launch. This did not cause a problem during the engagement, but a slight flex caused a perceptible lag in control. This was reported to maintenance in Report 7354S.

Now Asmus was getting on with his report. It was purely because he could stop fussing about what to send back. He just needed to take his mind off everything for a little while.

[I'm going to head down to the mess now. Will message you again in a bit]

Asmus sent it a few minutes after his last message. She probably wouldn't still be down there now, but it gave her the option of waiting to meet him or keeping away.

Normally he could plot the course and fill in the gaps, but there were too many pieces missing this time. Kaile had given him just bits of information back on the Quintessence. The most truthful she had been was right before they had made love for the first time. He thought back to that night, one he would never forget.

She had been hurting, had lost a close friend called Kurt. Done something to lose him. She hadn't contacted Asmus because of her work, he was fairly certain of that. But the pain he'd seen back on deck D… it was deeper than that. Was she concerned that she'd hurt him? It had hurt. Left him feeling hollow inside. But knowing there was a good reason for her to have left was a soothing balm, not a twist of the blade.

With a groan of frustration Asmus slid off his bed. Datapad neatly tucked under one arm, he headed for the mess.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Truth be told, Kaile's hunger had waned. In the minutes that Asmus took to wait on replying to her, the Lorrdian quietly made her way to the mess. As she thought, there weren't many people around. At this time, there weren't any hot plates out. Just standard fair. Some dried fruit, left over Rodian spaghetti and meatballs, and the typical drinks.

Truth be told, the espion felt rather nauseous all of a sudden. A thought went back to what the Nurse had asked her. If she suffered from panic attacks or felt a bit strained. Something to consider.

Gathering up enough to tide her over through the night, Kaile was just stepping out of the Mess when her datapad gave another buzz. It was Asmus.

A hot flash went through her. Nervousness twisting in her belly. No, I can't talk to him right now. She shook her head. With an increase of her step, she typed back.

[ Just left. There is Rodian Spaghetti and meatballs though. ]

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus’ brow lowered into a deep frown. Over the course of a few seconds he managed to smooth his expression back down. It would have been more fun to try and chase her down, but he'd promised to give her space. There was time, he couldn't force any decisions out of her.

[Oh good, I'm starving]

A plain reply. Did it come off as curt? Ah damnit, no time to worry about it now. Just get some food and try and find a time to meet her face to face again.

Yeah, so you can get all wound up and either kiss her or say something stupid.

 

[Kaile Vera]

Deciding it would be best to avoid the lift, Kaile took the stairs. Few were that dedicated to taking the stairs when they could just take the lift. All the while, a voice in her head would echo again that she was trying to take the easy path. The Lorrdian knew well that it was indeed what she was doing -- fleeing. However, what else was she supposed to do?

Avoid and run away for so long it becomes habit. She’d long since convinced herself she was doing the right thing. Parting from that train of thought was hard.

A small alert on her datapad and Kaile slowed her accent in the stairs. Leaning against the bulkhead, she read the message. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Rather neutral. Was he doing it for her? Or was that really what he was thinking?

Frustration grew, and Kaile bit her lip. It was annoying how her mind went back and forth with things. With what to do and what Asmus likely was doing. Thinking. For all her training, she couldn’t quite figure him out. Yet at the same time Kaile could read him rather intuitively.

[ We’ll see how good the day after! ]

Was her short reply. Maybe a joke would suit them then.

--

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus almost walked into a junior engineer on his way down to the mess, such was his devotion to the datapad.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he stepped aside and continued on his path. He nibbled on the inside of his cheek as he considered his next reply.

[If I'm still in one piece, want to meet for caf again tomorrow morning?]

The pilot had given up on the day, but not the notion of meeting her entirely. They'd been absolutely fine talking for a while after all. They'd both got jittery and then he'd said something to set her to worrying.

“Janes!”

“Guys,” he replied, hurriedly changing window on his datapad. “How's the meatballs?”

 

[Kaile Vera]

Coming up to B Deck, Kaile pushed open the stairwell door. Her mind was completely elsewhere. On Asmus, her job, and what it meant if she continued on to talk to Asmus as she had. It was playing with fire, Kaile knew this. It was also edging the line she had told herself not to cross many years ago.

The more time Kaile spent with Asmus, the harder it became to pull away. To let go. She had told herself time and time again that she had been doing the right thing. Having him here on the ship, meeting him after all this time brought back a whole series of doubts. A sigh fell from her lips, staring down at her datapad.

More troubling that it also brought back all the emotions she had repressed about the scoundrel pilot she had met those years ago.

Glancing down, she caught the invitation from Asmus to meet up again tomorrow. Another caf. The more reasonable part of her said that she should reply with a no. To firmly cut him off, to draw that line. Yet another fed on that burning desire to see him again. To hear his voice. To feel the brush of his fingers against my face.

[ We’ll see. I’ve paperwork I haven’t been able to finish. ]

Kaile gave a grimace as she pressed send. The Kaile from the past, the one prior to meeting Asmus or Kurt would have done things so differently. She’d have teasingly invited him over, have her way with him and simply enjoy the fun that they could both get from a long trip out in the black.

But then Kaile didn’t know what love was back then.